Chapter 10

Maritza basted the five large birds cooking in the brick stove, stabbing them with her two-pronged fork to check whether the juices were yet running clear. Above them, on a thick metal hotplate resting on the brick Framework three large pans boiled vegetables to be eaten with the meat for the evening meal. They didn't always eat so well. Often, the birds and other native animals hid so effectively they didn't eat meat for weeks. They certainly seem to know to avoid the several miles surrounding the village, and the other villages when they migrated to avoid the harsh summer.

Mopping sweat from her brow, Maritza threw another log on the stove fire to keep it burning. The crackling grew fierce as the damp wood spat and hissed out its evaporating moisture from the several days of rain that had soaked into it in the lean-to outside the kitchen. Sweeping stray tendrils of hair behind her ears, she reached for her stirring spoon and gave all the pans a generous swirl before adding a few more herbs and wiping her hands on the apron she had donned to carry out her duties.

The noise of the bubbling liquids and spitting fire had an almost hypnotic effect, so much so that she nearly jumped out of her skin when she turned to find Sarayah standing just behind her. Her approach had undoubtedly been masked by the sounds of the evening meal cooking, but she certainly wasn't the type to frequent the kitchen anyway.

'Sarayah...you scared me,' she laughed nervously. 'The meal will be ready soon. Are you here to help me serve it tonight?'

'No.'

The answer was so short and flat that Maritza had no idea how to continue. She looked back over her shoulder at the stove, then into Sarayah hard, dark eyes. 'Well, If you were hoping for a helping now, I will have to disappoint you. It isn't quite ready.'

'Stay away from him.'

Wondering if she'd heard Sarayah correctly, she asked, 'I'm sorry...who are you talking about?'

'Colonel Sheppard...stay away from him.'

The murderous look in Sarayah's eyes as she repeated those words set Maritza's heart thumping against her ribs again, having only just calmed a fraction from the initial shock of her silent appearance. 'I...I w...wasn't intending –'

'I have no desire to listen to your wittering. Just do as I say, and you will not be harmed.'

Maritza knew her jaw had dropped. She had come to Guedeseo over a year ago and until these past few lunar cycles had felt at peace with her lot, though the longing for her children tugged at her constantly and left her sobbing into her pillow some nights. But, since the arrival of Sarayah, she had felt unsettled. The woman had an air of underlying aggression about her that reminded her of Parou, the father of her children. Violence simmered beneath her calm surface; Maritza had sensed it the moment they'd met, and she didn't doubt she was capable of terrible acts if crossed. If she herself had killed, it was certain Sarayah had, too.

'I...I w...will stay away from him, she stammered, backing away to a work station beside the stove and fumbling behind her for the knife she knew she'd left there. She didn't want to use it, but neither did she want to die. Her fingers found the hilt of the knife, still wet from the juices of the foods she'd sliced and grasped it as Sarayah took a few steps closer to her.

'Colonel Sheppard is a dangerous man. You shouldn't trust him,' she warned Maritza. 'I'm telling you this for your own good.'

'Th...thank you,' Maritza whispered, not sure why she felt compelled to say it, but hoping it would satisfy Sarayah's insistence.

'You're welcome.' And the ferocity was instantly replaced with an almost genial smile. She stroked Maritza's pale cheek. 'So naive, so trusting...I would hate to see you come to any harm.'

Unsure whether Sarayah meant harm from the colonel or harm from her, she held her breath and waited to see what would come next, her grip on the knife tightening. Thankfully, she backed off at that point, and Maritza dared to breathe again.

'Lucky you were so quick with your serum yesterday, or he would have been dead. The Devine One will surely smile on you for saving his life.'

'I hope so...The Devine One has been kind to me so far.'

'Yes, I'm sure he can read what's truly in people's hearts.' Picking up a sliver of sliced vegetable from the table Maritza had been working at, she popped it in her mouth and chewed thoughtfully. 'Sheppard and his people don't believe in the Devine One. That makes them dangerous, wouldn't you agree?'

None of the recently arrived party had struck Maritza as particularly worrying, except perhaps the man with the long ropes of hair. But he had never done anything to harm anyone, and she had heard he'd been a great help in preparing the new arable land. Now she began to question her feelings; if they really didn't believe they would be judged, they could be capable of any crime.

'The serum to counteract the lantha berries...where is it kept?' Sarayah asked, now perching on the tabletop while waiting for her answer.

'In the infirmary of course...with the other medicines.'

Sarayah nodded. 'And how would I recognise it?' she enquired. 'I should like to know in case of an emergency.' As if reading Maritza's questioning expression, she added, 'It wouldn't do if there were no one in the village able to identify it when it was needed.'

'I always mark the stoppers with a red dot...every medicine has its own mark. I can explain then some time –'

'And how much would be enough to cure someone who has eaten some berries?' Sarayah interrupted.

'That depends; the unripe yellow or green ones can kill very quickly and require a full bottle, but the red ones need less and their effect is far slower...that is how we knew Colonel Sheppard did not require the full bottle last night...his sickness was slow to affect him.'

'Thank you,' Sarayah said, standing so suddenly she made Maritza start. 'Don't tell anyone about what I said about the colonel, Maritza. You know how the Frahs frown upon people making judgements. But we women have to stick together...have to watch each other's backs when there are so few of us here amongst all these men.'

'Yes...yes we do.'

'I'm glad you understand. I knew you were a bright girl,' Sarayah smiled, turning abruptly and leaving her there alone with her work.

Maritza watched the door for some time, her fingers still wrapped around the knife so tightly her knuckles ached. Then the trembles set in, shaking her whole body, swiftly joined by tears of both relief and fear. She had come to Guedeseo to find peace of mind, and to set an example for her children of the kind of sacrifices a parent should make for them. Now, she wished she could run home to them and hold them in her arms again. Perhaps Colonel Sheppard was right and they would fix the Stargate so people could return to their homes. Having spent over a year there, she felt the Divine One had had plenty of opportunity to judge her, and she had never seen him at anything other than a great distance, just like two nights ago when he had claimed the peak of the mountain where two of the villagers had died picking medicinal herbs three lunar revolutions earlier.

Perhaps she should tell Colonel Sheppard what Sarayah had said...but...she really didn't know him yet, and she supposed that Sarayah warning, if delivered somewhat harshly, might be true. No...she would stay out of their business. She was not there to judge – she'd heard those very words often enough from Frah Mussa to know that was the truth – the Divine One would intervene with whichever of the two of them was truly dangerous, of that fact she felt certain.

Scrubbing tears from her face with the back of her hand, she returned her attention to the meal. The best thing to do was to ignore what had just happened, she decided, and to keep herself busy and private. That way, she couldn't anger Sarayah or the colonel in any way...she hoped.

'So how're things back in the Holy Land?' Rodney asked as Sam returned to help him with some more repairs. Major Lorne had sent through a number of vital replacement components damaged in the attack on the DHD, and now after spending almost all day replacing and mending, he finally felt like he was making some progress toward getting it working again.

'Well, Ronon has been helping the villagers to earn our keep, and Colonel Sheppard had a run-in with Sarayah in the village square when she gave the guard detail the slip.'

McKay sat back on his heels, slack-jawed. 'What? Is he okay?'

'Yeah, it was just verbal...although he said she pretty much admitted she'd come here with the intention of luring him in on a one-way ticket.'

'Oh, we have so got to fix this thing,' McKay sighed, getting back to work.

'Agreed, but the light's just about gone, Rodney. We should set up camp here to make sure no one can come back and wreck things, and Lorne's team can take shifts to watch while study the data we have so far. We can work on the gate and the DHD themselves in the morning.'

He sighed again, feeling like a failure. They'd been pulling apart and piecing together the DHD for ten hours now, and because of the extra work caused by the sabotage, they were no closer to solving the original problem. Much as he would never admit it, he was glad to have Sam there because the failure felt less personal knowing he wasn't the only genius who couldn't solve the problem.

'Okay. I just have one more diagnostic and I'll be right with you,' he told her, watching the figures streaming across his screen and hoping beyond hope they came up with some kind of explanation, some fault he actually knew how to solve this time.

Sam instructed the others with them to make camp for the night while he waited. Teyla, who had travelled reasonably lightly, walked toward him and gave him a sympathetic smile. 'Have you made any progress at all, Rodney?'

'I'll let you know in a second,' he told her, holding up his finger as an instruction for her to hold that question.

The test rolled on to it final stages and came up with – nothing. Once again, all the data showed there were no flaws in the 'gate or DHD technology.

With a feral growl, Rodney swiped up the laptop, about to toss it away like the useless piece of crap it was. It was only Teyla's swift reactions that stopped him, her hand catching his wrist before he could release the computer.

'Rodney! This will do no one any good. Do we not need the data you've collected.'

'No we don't,' he railed. 'It's useless...all of it. Sam and I have been working on this between us for over a day now and we've come up with nothing of any consequence. I might as well be hitting it with a sledgehammer for all the use I've been! Of course, we know that wouldn't work either because someone already tried!'

'Rodney, I have faith that you will work this out in the end.'

'In the end! Sheppard needs me to figure this thing out now, not next week. It isn't broken...at least not now we've repaired it, and no part of this DHD or the 'gate isn't functioning as it should be. There's just no reason for the thing not to power up. If it was broken, I could fix it, but –'

'The answers will come, Rodney, given time,' Teyla assured him calmly.

Damn it, why couldn't the woman understand this was not a time for cool logic. This was a time for tearing your hair out at the roots and releasing a primal scream – which he did...in a repressed scientist kind of way.

'No luck, I take it?' Sam said, wandering back over in their direction.

'Absolutely pointless, just like all the other diagnostics we've run today,' he whined. 'I have absolutely no idea what's wrong with it.'

'That's not true, Rodney,' Sam said brightly. 'We know a whole bunch of things that aren't causing the problem now. So maybe this is just going to have to be a process of elimination.'

Rodney threw his head back and sighed. Why was he the only one who ever understood how bad any given situation was? 'But we've eliminated everything, and we still don't have a working 'gate.'

'No, we eliminated all the obvious things,' Sam corrected patiently, battling to keep up her reassuring smile. 'So now we have to think more laterally, that's all. Tell you what, since the situation back at the village is relatively stable, let's take a break for tonight and come at this completely fresh tomorrow. I have a feeling that with a good night's sleep behind us, and no more interference from whoever damaged the DHD last night, we can crack this thing. Are you ready to head out?'

He knew things were bad when Sam felt the need to give him a pep talk rather than kick him in the ass. His shoulders slumped, and he gathered together all his kit to follow Sam to where the others were pitching the tents. For once, the kit felt a small burden compared to the weight of responsibility pressing down on him. He was, after all, Dr Rodney McKay, smartest guy in two galaxies. Everyone expected him to perform miracles...technologically speaking, with the exception of Sam, of course. She understood what they were up against. But even she had had a thinly veiled look of desperation about her as they'd finished up today, a silent expression that had cried out, Do something, McKay, loud and clear in his mind. Even she wanted him to have a Eureka moment. Things were definitely bad when Sam looked at him that way...and gave him pep talks...Oh, man! They were so screwed.

He huffed his way to the spot Sam and the other troops determined was a safe place to make camp, and let them do the rest. Making camps really wasn't his thing, and since almost all of them had done nothing more than sit on their hands for most of the day, he figured it was about time they pulled their weight.

Tents pitched and a fire lit, he sat down to wait while a kettle of water heated up over the freshly sprung flames. He felt dirty, thirsty, hungry and...dumb. Yes, that was what he really felt, dumb. He had no more clue what was wrong with the gate than anyone else sitting around that campfire. He was...average. Crap...he couldn't cope with that. His intelligence was the only thing that made him bearable to most people. He was useful in a crisis...if he couldn't fix this, people would lose faith in him..his team would lose faith in him. And if anything happened to Sheppard because he couldn't figure a way off of this desolate planet, Ronon would rip his nuts out via his nostrils, that was certain.

'McKay, let it go...at least for tonight. That's an order,' Sam said quietly from across the other side of the fire.

Was he that easy to read? He supposed he was. People had always told him he should never lie because it was written all over his face. He could never hide his true feelings.

Eating his meal in silence, he half-listened to the trivial chatter and banter between the troops, wishing he could join in, but he just wasn't wired that way. And right now, his brain was doing somersaults over the whole unsolved 'gate mystery. Of course, the Daedalus would probably beam them out if the need arose, but he hated when something truly baffled him. This would eat at him for months, possibly years if he didn't figure it out. He just couldn't let it beat him.

Eventually, fed and watered, they retired to their tents, Sam bunking in with the two female officers in the party and Teyla suggesting Rodney join her. Since it was Teyla or a couple of grunts, the decision was an easy one. He crawled in with Teyla and immediately pulled out his laptop to continue work.

'Rodney, did Colonel Carter not say that you should let the problem go until tomorrow?' Teyla asked gently.

When he looked up at her, he saw pity in her eyes. She knew why he was doing this – she knew he hated feeling so helpless...so useless.

'I wish I could, but it's just not that easy for me to shut my brain down, because, well, you know, it's my brain and it doesn't really do the shutting off thing.'

'You must try, Rodney. You look exhausted.'

'I am, but this...this is what I do.'

'You know if John was here he would tell you the same thing,' she told him. 'He wouldn't expect you to make yourself ill over this. Our situation is not yet so desperate.'

'I know, but...I'm not like you and Ronon. I'm not good at the real buddy stuff. I don't do listening or sympathy...I don't even do the whole friendly sparring with big sticks things you guys do that helps Sheppard to unwind...though heaven knows why. All I can do is fix things, and Sheppard needs me to fix this thing now...and I just can't do it.'

Teyla tilted her head and smiled, reaching over from her sleep mat and resting her hand on his forearm. 'Rodney, John appreciates you for far more than your ability to fix things. That is not the only reason why you and he are friends. I am certain he appreciates how much time you are putting into this problem, and that he would wish for you to rest and look at it again tomorrow with a fresh perspective. You suffered an unexpected setback today – one that cannot be repeated now we have a guard duty at the 'gate. Tomorrow you will make more progress. One more night here will make little difference.'

'I guess,' he sighed, yawning and rubbing his weary eyes. He'd been staring at computer screens almost all day and his eyes were strained and stinging, and his head span like a roulette wheel, imaginary numbers and codes whirring into a blinding blur. 'Maybe I should just lay my head down and see what happens.'

'That's good, Rodney. I think you'll find sleep will come relatively quickly after all your efforts of today.

He lay back and closed his eyes, his thoughts swiftly slipping from clear to abstract as his consciousness tried to let go. Moments later, he was disturbed back into wakefulness by a rustling sound to his right, as Teyla scrambled toward the tent entrance.

'Where are you going, he asked in a hoarse whisper that was probably louder than his normal speaking voice.

'I just need to step out for a while, Rodney. I will not be long.'

'What? Well...do you want me to come with you?'

'Not for this particular trip, Rodney. I will be back soon.'

'But we're supposed to stay together, right?'

Teyla turned on her torch to illuminate the tent, giving him an amused smirk. 'There are certain things that must be done alone...things a woman in my condition may have to do more regularly than some.'

Rodney unravelled the cryptic message and then felt his face instantly colour up. 'Oh...oh right...yes...of course...off you go. Don't let me keep you.'

He lay back down and rolled over, closing his eyes even though he knew she would most likely wake him when she returned.

But it wasn't Teyla who woke him. The sudden pulling back of the tent flap and yelling of his name did an admirable job of ripping him from his temporary slumbers and throwing him into utter chaos.

'Rodney. Did Teyla tell you how long she would be gone?'

It was Sam's head poking in through the opening, shining a torch in his direction.

He shielded his eyes against the invasive glare, than flapped an instruction to get it out of his eyes. 'She just needed to answer the call of nature. She'll be back any time.'

'That was half an hour ago according to Lieutenant Williams, and now we can't get hold of her.'

'What?'

Now he was scrambling toward the exit, Sam pulling back to let him out. 'But she just needed to go to the bathroom. She was right here with me...where can she have gone?'

'That's what we were wondering.'

Panic set in scrambling his thinking. 'Oh, nonononono, this can't be happening...wait maybe she fell and can't get up.'

'She'd not that big, Rodney. Besides, she has a radio with her...which she'd not answering.'

'Maybe she hit her head and she's unconscious...we have to go look for her!'

'That's the plan, Rodney. Okay, let's split up into two and start searching. Rodney, you're with me.'

'Wait...wait,' he stammered as the other two teams headed out. 'We should contact the village, let them know she could be on the way back there.'

'You think she might head back there?' Sam asked.

'I don't know...I guess I'm just hoping,' Rodney squeaked, his voice cracking. Teyla was missing and he'd slept while it all happened. He hadn't imagined he could feel any guiltier than he already had, but he did now.

Sam gave him a grim nod. 'Okay, but I'll do it,' and Rodney tried not to feel too bad about waking Sheppard up with bad news when he was already so troubled.