She had never been to Lothal before.
Its rolling green fields and blue skies- even the view from the atmosphere reminded her of Onderon. Yet the real attraction was that there was an old Jedi Temple located on the planet.
"I knew there were other temples."She told Kanan, eyeing the vast,unique structure. "But I also believed the Empire would have razed them all."
"Well, obviously they missed a few." Kanan shrugged. "Perhaps... It will eventually become a trap for us."
Or maybe... Ahsoka realized. Maybe we are already followed.
Her worries were echoed in Kanan's order that Chopper stayed on the lookout.
Upon exiting the Phantom, Ahsoka finally took the time to confirm that Ezra was from Lothal. He had never said much about it, and if not for his fond memories of the place she would not have guessed.
The force power radiating from the temple made Ahsoka feel so incredibly powerless and small. She wondered if somehow, her past had painted her a pariah and led to the Temple making her almost uneasy, especially when Ezra announced that she and Kanan needed to open it.
"I cannot."she explained, truthfully,and somewhat uneasily."I'm no longer a Jedi. It was my choice, I left the order."
The boy looked as if he wanted to argue, but eventually stepped to the side of his master, and Ahsoka felt the force envelope the pair as the Temple yielded to their urges.
And the center began to rise.
It rose high.
Higher.
Too high to be what what was briefly described to her.
"This is new."Ezra observed, looking a bit uneasy.
The tone of his voice made her lekku twitch. If she had hair, it would stand on end. For some reason, Ahsoka felt like once she entered that temple; she would never exit.
Upon entering, Ahsoka expected to be confronted by the sight and smell of a place and burial ground forgotten over years and years. Instead, the atmosphere was the opposite- as if someone had been the temple's caregiver for the past years. Perhaps it was the Force itself.
Ezra jumped when the door closed behind them. Ahsoka's paranoia began to grow, but she carefully hid it beneath her questioning of the pair. How would they contact Yoda?
They decided the solution was to meditate, and the trio did, slowly drifting away to their own visions...
Ahsoka was fine with that. Meditating was the only way she ever found true,inner peace these days. When she was younger, she had a hard time sitting still long enough to effectively see into the force, but as she had gotten older so had her appreciation for the act. When Aidan was a young child she would use meditation as a way to get time to herself; Aidan had learned not to disturb her.
Sometimes it showed her what must've been snapshots of a life that could have been: not just Aidan, but a whole family of children, the boys looking human passing and the girls were simply what may be considered albino in the Togruta sense. Sometimes, it was glimpses of the past: often, when Aidan and she were having a row she would be involuntarily transported back to the moment when she first held him in her arms.
Farther still was her memories of Lux: his deceivingly strong arm lying across her body, his gentle voice trying, and failing, to convince her to stay forever, not just the night.
But now, in this forgotten Jedi Temple...Ahsoka's vision was something much different. It started out as nothing, but then a voice spoke into the darkness.
"Ahsoka."
Her eyes squeezed shut. She knew who would face her if she turned around: the face of her old Master,Anakin.
"Ahsoka,why did you leave? Where were you when I needed you the most?"
Fighting the urge to look back, Ahsoka struggled for an answer. I was alone, too. "I made a choice." A foolish choice. "I couldn't stay!"
"You were selfish!"
No. "No!" Ahsoka felt tears in the corners of her eyes.
She wasn't selfish. No, not at all. Her choice was to leave so Aidan could have a life with both his parents. How was she to know that it wouldn't work out?
"You abandoned me!"
I left you for Aidan! Oh, master, if only you could know the truth! If only you could understa-
"You failed me!" Anakin's accusatory tone grew louder and louder, making her more and more agitated.
No...
"Do you know what I've become?"
"No." It started as a whisper, then crescendoed as the labored, robotic breathing of Darth Vader breathed down her neck.
"NO!"
And then she swung, aimlessly. Striking for herself, for Aidan, for the Rebellion, for Padme, for Leia!
Leia.
Poor, poor,Leia.
Ahsoka fell to her knees and sobbed.
I should have known what was going to happen to him. I should have listened to myself, to my vision all those years ago on Mortis... I should have read between the lines.
Regardless of the excuses Ahsoka could conjure, no matter how realistic and viable, she couldn't find a way to save Anakin and raise Aidan. Saving Anakin meant staying in the Order. Staying in the Order meant having to be separated from Aidan, if he was even allowed to be born.
It was a terrible thought.
It was my choice, Ahsoka told herself, hugging her arms around her chest. It was my sacrifice.
Sometimes, sacrifices must be made.
I swore never to regret having Aidan. Now that I know the truth about Anakin, I can only look to save him. To correct my mistake.
I have to save him.
With that thought, Ahsoka rose to her feet. She wiped her face and did her best to cover up the fact that she's been crying.
"There's always a way."
She needed to get out of here before she went insane.
Dashing through the doorway, she eventually found herself reunited with Ezra and Kanan: the two had their own stories to tell, but the temple was about to destroy itself. There was no time to explain.
As she raced through the catacombs, Ahsoka was met with a familiar presence, and sensed Master Yoda's final goodbye before the temple came crashing down.
At least that put a smile on her lips. Somehow, someway, she knew that Yoda had to have known about Aidan, perhaps even before she had.
It also made her a bit upset that Yoda had appeared to Ezra and not her.
Nevertheless, they had what they came for. Ezra said that Yoda told them to find Malachor, a place whose name sent shivers down Ahsoka's spine.
The threat wasn't over.
Aidan's dream still might come true...
She refused to let that happen.
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
The Phantom met up with the rest of the crew on Atollon. They had found a new place for a base and Kanan and Ezra were needed to help clear it out. Ahsoka offered, but was told instead to "enjoy herself."
Whatever that meant.
The revelation that Anakin was Vader was still clouding her mind, filling her with dangerous thoughts, but she knew if she tried to countereact them, it wouldn't work. The visions would only become stronger.
She needed to stay awake.
In an impressive two days, the Rebels had already built up a sustainible base, complete with barracks for the officers at the least.
Of course, Ahsoka could tell by the force alone exactly where her son was. But there was something about still looking at the nameplates on all the doors as she passed, seeing the names, ranks-
A. Tano
Lieutenant, First Class
So, he had been promoted. Why, she didn't know, but was proud nonetheless. She had begun to let go of her son, let him be the charge of his own life, and it seemed he was doing just fine.
Moving stealthily on the soles of her feet, Ahsoka entered the small cabin that her son occupied.
Rex must've forced him to sleep. Ahsoka assumed. If my son is anything like me, nothing short of cuffing him to the bed is going to keep him down for long.
There was a small desk also in the room. Ahsoka brought the chair over to the side of Aidan's bed and sat down.
Would he even want her here?
I just want to show him that he didn't need to worry.
In a matter of days, Ahsoka would be to Malachor and back again, the threat completely over.
How tempting it was, to join her son in the land of sleep. Tempting, but unattainable.
Her hand reached across the gap and found its way to run gently down Aidan's cheek, making him twitch as if it was cold but then relax once again. His hair was still in its hairband, a possible indication that he had been forcibly knocked out by some kind of drug. It wasn't like Aidan to forget things like that before he went to bed.
As long as he wasn't doing drugs on his own, using them to sleep wasn't the worst. Rex must've really had a hard time if he had to knock him out.
"I love you, Aidan."She whispered."You have been the light of my life these past twenty or so years, and I want to let you know how proud of you I am. I'm sorry if I do a bad job of showing it, but I am. And I need you to stop worrying for me."
Around her, the force enveloped her in a mysterious blanket, triggered by some other happening outside.
"Goodbye, my son." Ahsoka leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on his brow. "I'll be back in a few days."
As she left, Aidan stirred a bit behind her, opening his eyes.
It was time to leave for Malachor.
ooooooooooooo
As expected, Rex offered to join her.
It was obviously an indirect way to try and get her to reconsider her leaving. But it couldn't work out like that. Rex would have no business dealing with a Jedi matter.
He even made a callback to their first conversation, saying "experience outranks everything." To that, she replied that she definitely outranked him, now.
He wished her the best before the transmission cut.
Rex's overprotectiveness wasn't in vain, though. Malachor was a dangerous place, considered off-limits to Jedi. In addition to the danger, Ahsoka still sensed that Rex hadn't stopped believing in Aidan's dream of her not returning.
I'm not going to die. Ahsoka thought, referring to her brief conversation with the Bendu before saying goodbye to Aidan. That's not what the force wills for me.
This new place, Malachor, was a similar atmosphere to the Temple on Lothal. It was something ancient, complete with ancient writing that Ahsoka was capable of deciphering. She was too late, though, unable to stop Ezra from touching the glyphs and sending them all plummeting through the surface.
Furthermore, the three of them were now positioned in a sith temple, and were confronted by another inquisitor, the eighth brother. Ezra was lost again below the surface, but was not injured, and would be a part of his own adventure.
The eighth brother was easily capturable. He was the weakest inquisitor so far, relying more on explosives than actual combat. In a moment of distraction, though, he was able to contact the other two inquisitors and begin an uneven fight.
However, the greatest shock of all came from the entrance of Maul, a Sith Lord long thought dead by Ahsoka, and many of her Jedi friends.
And he was helping them!
Now it was the rebels who had an advantage on the three inquisitors.
An advantage that stopped all too quickly, as soon as the original mission was finished. The secret to the sith had been found: the sith holocron, holding all the answers to the sith. Then Maul had turned on them, blinding Kanan, and then being hurled off the cliff by someone he just maimed.
And then Vader arrived.
Vader, who threatened Ezra and attempted to strike him down.
Vader, who had destroyed the rest of the Jedi.
Vader, who was now her enemy.
"I thought I knew who you were. But my master could never be as vile as you!" She shouted, her eyes threatening to let out tears of both anger and sadness.
"Anakin Skywalker was weak."Vader rasped."I destroyed him."
Ahsoka closed her eyes briefly, allowing her emotions to be shoved to the back of her mind. She could mourn again later. Now...
"I will avenge his death!"She vowed. She didn't care if revenge wasn't the Jedi way, like Vader had any reason to remind her of that.
"I am no Jedi." And she activated her sabers.
Fighting Vader was nothing like fighting Anakin. Sure, it was obvious that they were the same person, but Vader's style was more full of hate. His anger, always held dangerously at the brink, was now in full aid to his rage in fighting his old apprentice.
There were no more words exchanged.
Ahsoka sought to destroy Vader. To break him down until only Anakin remained. Then they would escape. She could save him.
She had to.
And if she couldn't...
When they locked blades, and Ahsoka found herself staring into that dark helmet of his...
She felt like Vader- Anakin- was seeing into her very soul. Seeing her memories, her thoughts... her secrets...
Aidan.
Anakin hadn't known that she was ever pregnant. Had never met Aidan.
Aidan.
He had teased her about Lux Bonteri after she came back from Onderon. Teased her endlessly, and Ahsoka knew that it was only because he understood. He wouldn't have teased her if he had known the truth, known how much it would complicate her life.
"Is that why you left?" A voice came into the back of her head. "You left me, your friend, your brother!- all for a senator of Onderon?! Did you know how I was hurting?!"
This had to be Vader talking,invading her mind, not Anakin. These were not Anakin's words.
She could not let him know the truth. She couldn't let him discover-
"A son." Vader spoke aloud. "You have a son!"
She broke their blades apart, struck with renewed strength as she lunged away.
No!
"And your beloved senator?"Vader rasped. "He doesn't care about you!"
No!
"He doesn't care about you, or his bastard son."
No! How dare he!
"You are not my master!" Ahsoka yelled, using the opening to trip Vader out, feigning a shot and leaping for his head.
He shoved her back easily. His mechanical body showed no signs of stopping, no signs of exertion like she. Ahsoka was sweating, her sweat mingling with tears as she shed tears for her master. For her son. For Lux.
Because she knew there was no going back.
Even Ezra's begging could do nothing.
She lept again, her cat-like body launching her far above Vader, her blade slicing through his shoulder and his helmet, exposing some of his scarred, burned face. Her momentum launched her to land meters behind him, her body hitting the floor.
"Ahsoka, hurry!"Ezra yelled. Oh, he thought she could follow. Thought she could leave Vader-Anakin- to die alone.
"Ahsoka." For a moment, Anakin was calling to her, not Vader. Their voices were one.
"Ahsoka!"
"Anakin." She breathed."I won't leave you! Not this time..."
"...Then you will die!"
Ezra was begging her as her way out was slowly closing. Her way out... her way back...
She couldn't.
She had to stay until the end, make sure that Vader would never be released to the galaxy again, never to hurt anyone ever again. Vader would never get to the Rebellion. To Aidan.
She would make sure of that.
"I love you, Aidan."
Ahsoka force pushed Ezra away as she heard him scream in protest.
And then the Temple exploded around her.
oooooooooooooooooo
Author's note:
I'm not totally happy with that last Malachor scene... Maybe I'll go back and rewrite it so it's less just a repeat of the show. Lemme know what you guys think.
Now, there will be a break before the next chapter to this story as a little one shot needs to be published first, from Aidan's point of view. We are on our way to the next part of our story!
May the force be with you,
Dinui