Inspirations: The Man Who Can't Be Moved - The Script.
Chapter Nine - Mind Meld
Nothing is going right. Not one thing. I tried to be nice and get Sonny breakfast, but I spilled her coffee all down the front of her brand new pink blouse. She didn't talk to me until lunch rolled around. And when lunch time came around, I think I fucked up even more... I ruined yet another one of her shirts today, but I tripped and my entire tray of food splattered onto her yellow shirt. Why did she choose today to wear such lovely colors? Ugh. It wasn't like a sandwich and a carton of milk that spilled on her... it was baked beans, cole slaw, a fruit cup, and a cup of apple juice. I hope she doesn't kill me later on... we're supposed to have a sleep over at my apartment.
After lunch, when I was just chilling out in the prop house, I did not expect to have a cranky Sonny enter the room. She was fuming, and I just didn't know why.
"We need to talk, Alex." I started to say something to her as I stood from the couch and she shook her head, her eyes darkening and her fists clenched at her side. "I'm serious. We need to talk." She practically snapped at me.
"Okay, talk about what?" I asked, folding my arms over my chest, looking at her. Though I had to admit, she was scaring me to death right now. I had never seen Sonny this mad.
"Last week, when you said that you were on your plane back from New York... Nico saw you, in the hallway of the fucking studio." She whispered to me. I had never heard her say anything even remotely close to the word fuck, let alone now she's adding an ending to it and making it a present tense noun. How could Nico have seen me, though? I didn't even... oh wait, I did poof back to the studio because I left my laptop here in the prop room and I wanted to bring it home to show Justin something. Shit. Think, Alex: think of some kind of suitable lie...
I rubbed the back of my neck and bowed my head. "Sonny, you have to hear my out..." My voice sounded so quiet and weak, almost broken. I couldn't lie to Sonny.
"I don't have to hear you out. Just tell me the truth," She demanded, but I shook my head. "Being in a committed relationship means not keeping secrets, Alex, and that's exactly what you're doing..." She explained to me, moving closer and cupping my face. I shifted my gaze to look at her. She was pleading with me. "All you have to do is tell me if you were in the studio or not, and if you were, then why were you here and not coming home from New York?"
"I... I can't tell you, Sonny." I muttered, bowing my head. Her thumb stroked the skin of my nose and she sighed. "I just can't... I'm sorry," I had the same problem with Harper once upon a time. All of the lying came to a screeching halt at some point, I realized. I should have been honest with her from the start, whether it was against the rules or not.
"Then I'm afraid that we cannot be together." She told me quietly, taking her hand from my face, drawing in a deep breath. "When you can stop keeping secrets from me, or anyone for that matter, maybe we can work something out."
It hurt to hear her soft words, especially when she made me feel the way she did. She makes my stomach fill with butterflies. She makes me smile, even when I don't want to smile, like now. This is the worst possible situation and what am I doing? Smiling. Fuck you, Sonny Munroe, fuck you to hell and back again.
"Sonny, it's not that I don't want to tell you... I do, I really do," I began, rubbing at my eyes furiously. "But there's rules.... I can't break the rules again,"
"What are you talking about? Rules? Alex, you can tell me anything. You can trust me. I didn't tell anyone that you're afraid of tractors, though I don't understand why..." She explained. It was true. Tractors freak me the fuck out, and Sonny hadn't told a soul about my innate fear of the farm vehicles. I wanted to tell her that I'm a wizard, but I'd get in so much trouble. Getting in trouble meant never seeing Sonny again, and that was not good.
"Sonny, you have to understand me... I can't tell you right now." There was no winning with her. She was being stubborn.
"So you ruin two of my shirts and then tell me to understand that you really want to share secrets about your life with me but you aren't allowed to because there's rules that you have to abide by?" She asked, her voice sounding incredibly irritated. I nodded meekly. She heaved in a deep sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose. "What happened to Alex Russo, the rule breaker? What happened to... never mind, just forget it. We're done," She turned on her heel and left me, standing alone with tears rolling down my cheeks and my arms folded over my chest.
It wasn't the most dramatic or the loudest fight that I had ever had, but it was my first fight with Sonny. It hurt. It cut me pretty deeply. I had to sit down on the couch for a good ten minutes and calm myself down before I could grab my bag and head out to my car. But even then, as I climbed into my car, I broke down again. My forehead bashed into my horn several times and I scared some of the crew members leaving the set. My hands gripped the steering wheel tightly and I squeezed my eyes shut. But the tears just wouldn't stop. I needed them to stop before I could go home. There was no way I was going to leave my car here. Nope.
I don't know what it was that stopped me from crying anymore, but several moments later, my eyes just stopped producing tears. Was I dehydrated? Maybe. I don't really care right now. I need to get home.
I drove back to my apartment and I climbed the staircases slowly, taking each step as carefully as I could, using the railing as a support all the way up. Once I made it to my door, I unlocked it with ease and practically stumbled inside. I fell onto the couch where I just cried my eyes out. I couldn't think. I could barely breathe. I just wanted to die. I buried my face into a throw pillow on the couch and inhaled deeply. But when I ran out of oxygen, I automatically breathed in again, despite the hot air moving against my face and burning my skin. My stomach was empty. My heart felt weak, like it actually hurt because I had lost her.
A similar feeling overwhelmed me as I continued to write, but then my hand paused momentarily. My eyes scanned over what I had written in my notebook. I had every intention of writing a letter to Sonny, to tell her everything and to apologize. I knew what I was going to do. I was going to confess everything to her, tell her the truth about anything and everything, then tell Marshall I wanted out of my contract. But every time I read over the first few lines of my letter, I felt tears prickle my eyes...
Dear Sonny,
Do you remember the first time we met, and how cold I was towards you? Just think, several days after I arrived at So Random, you had me smiling with every word you said. You give me butterflies. When I'm not around you, my heart actually hurts. I have a pain in my chest and it's the most terrible thing in the world.
I hope she feels the same way about me. I don't know if I can even live without her in my life. Just being home in New York for what, a day? It hurts like hell. I mean, yeah, we're not talking... but I get to see her, I get to hear her voice. It's almost like she's there. I just don't know anymore. I sighed and threaded my fingers through my hair slowly. That's when I heard my cell phone going off. I had an incoming call, and it wasn't a phone number that I knew. I was reluctant, but I picked up the phone.
"Hello?" My voice sounded far more broken than I wanted it to sound.
"Alex? It's Tawni," How did she... Sonny gave her my number, of course. "Are you in New York?"
"Yeah, why? What's up?"
"Well... my limo didn't show up and I'm at JFK. Do you think you can come pick me up?" She sounded a lot different over the phone.
"Sure. I'll be there in like... twenty minutes?" She told me where she would be and I told her I'd try to be quick, but New York traffic was a pain sometimes. Good thing I had magic on my side.
-x-
When I arrived at JFK airport, twenty minutes on the dot, Tawni climbed into Justin's Honda Civic. He said I could borrow it since my truck was still in Los Angeles, parked at my apartment. I helped Tawni get her suitcase into the trunk and then I started driving her to her hotel, abiding by the normal laws of society and not abusing magic to cater to my needs.
"So, why are you in New York anyway?"
"Didn't you hear?" She asked; I looked at her, puzzled. "I left So Random," She explained to me. "I'm here to start filming this movie that I got a major role in,"
"That's pretty cool," I offered. But I didn't really care about her life. I drove her to her hotel and bade her good bye and good luck.
I drove back to Waverly Place, parking Justin's car with ease. I made a beeline for my bedroom. I had to finish writing that letter to Sonny. And when I finished it, I was going to hand deliver it to her.
When I got into my bedroom, I locked the door behind me and sat on my bed. I grabbed my notebook and the same pen I had before and just... kept on writing from where I left off:
The truth is what you wanted, right? Okay. Here it goes: I'm a wizard. Whenever I would rush out on you or I would disappear for a day or two without a word? I went home to New York City by way of magic for my wizard lessons with my brothers Max and Justin, with my father teaching us. Remember the day you found that wand that fell out of my bag? Yeah, that's the wand I use to do magic with. I don't need to use it, but it sure does help. I seriously suck at remembering spells, so I usually have to make due with crappy improvised spells.
Sonny, I never meant to hurt you. All I want to do is make things right because I love you. I am so in love with you it's not even funny. Actually, it's more unbelievable than anything... the fact that you got me to fall in love with you so fast is remarkable. I don't know how you did it. But hey, good job for you.
I told Justin about us. He's the only one in my family that knows. He really wants to meet you. Someday, you'll have to come out to Waverly Place and meet Justin and the rest of my family. You could even meet Harper. I bet you two would get along well. She's always happy, just like you. You and Harper are a lot alike, except that I don't have dreams of holding her in my arms like I do with you. I miss holding you. I miss being close to you, period.
I don't know if this letter is going to help to mend our relationship at all; I really hope it does something to benefit both of us. I really care about you. I understand if you don't want to date me again, but I at least want to be able to talk to you again... maybe do our sketch again? I miss writing with you. I miss hearing you laugh at my lame jokes, even the ones that aren't even funny, but you always laugh at them anyway. You were such an amazing girlfriend and I was so terrible to you in every sense of the word. All I want to do is make things better between us.
Love, Alex.
Once I finished the letter, I folded it up and stuffed it into an enveloped, licking the envelope closed. I wrote her name across the front of the envelope and held it in my fingers carefully. I chewed my bottom lip tightly between my teeth and I just sat there for what felt like ages. Then I rolled off of my bed, only moments later, and slipped on my boots. I was already wearing pink skinny jeans and a white tee. I grabbed my wand and swished it about, grabbing my bag and the letter. Before I knew it, I was standing in front of her apartment door. It was now or never, I told myself.
Tucking my wand into my boot, I clenched a fist with one hand and rapped my knuckles against her door. I was unsure of who would answer, but when I saw that it was Sonny, I was relieved on the inside.
"What are you doing here," She asked me, her arms folding over her chest as she spoke.
"I deserve that." I muttered, handing over the letter to her. "That's for you. I hope that explains everything that you wanted to know. I just wanted to tell you how... how sorry I am," And with that, I walked away. I saw her open the envelope and close the door. I hope she would actually read the letter that I wrote to her.
-x-
"What do you mean you want to leave the show?" Okay, so my plan of telling Marshall that I wanted to leave wasn't working out so well. His yelling made me wince.
"I violated my contract." I squeaked to him. His brow furrowed.
"Did you get arrested and manage to hide it from me? Alex, listen kid... you're talented," He began a little rant of how much he loved having me here and whatnot. But I shook my head to him. I couldn't listen to his babbling.
"Marshall, I love it here, I really do. But I can't..." I sighed and stepped away from him. "I just can't do it anymore. It's too much. I miss New York," I lied to him and folded my arms over my chest as I looked down.
"All right, all right..." He sighed and nodded slowly to me. "I'll give you a day to think it over. But I need a final answer from you by tomorrow afternoon at three." He explained to me, holding up his hand when I tried to protest. "Just... give it a little thought," Then he turned on his heel and left me alone in the prop house. When he moved out of the doorway, I saw that the door was still open. Sonny was standing there, hugging the teddy bear that I had given her on our one month anniversary.
"You know, I still sleep it." I knew that she was referring to the bear. She told me that when I was around to hold her, she held the teddy bear to make it seem as though she was sleeping next to me. I thought it was cute.
"I thought you hated me." I replied to her, rather quietly. I was trying to sound mean but I just... failed at that. I could feel those butterflies fluttering in my stomach again.
"And I really don't want you to leave the show," She added. "I mean, Tawni is gone. If you leave, it'll only be Zora, Grady, Nico, and I. How lame," She complained to me. She set the bear down on the couch and reached into her jeans pocket, pulling out the folded up letter. "Thank you for telling me the truth, Alex."
"It doesn't matter now, it's too late." I told her. She raised her brow at me. "We're done, remember? And I'm leaving the show," I shrugged weakly to her. I continued to straighten out the box I had of my stuff from our dressing room. I felt her grab my arm, her fingers curling around the space just below my elbow, the contact between our skin practically burning my flesh beneath her touch.
"I really don't want you to leave," She whispered to me. I ground my teeth hard against each other and I looked up at the ceiling, shaking my head just slightly. She playfully dragged her nails along my arm, letting her fingers slide into the spaces between mine. Oh, she is terrible. She knows my weaknesses better than I do, what the fuck.
"Sonny, I'm packed. I have almost everything out of my apartment. I just have to call my landlord and tell him that I need to get out of my lease and..." She squeezed my hand, making my heart start to race in my chest. "I'm not staying,"
"Why not?"
"If we're not together, then what's the point? I can't be around you without my heart aching. It's bad enough that I get overwhelmed with butterflies when I hear your name."
"And you don't think I get the same way when I hear your name?" She replied, using her free hand to turn my face so I would look at her. My eyes were darting, looking anywhere but at her; I just couldn't look at her. "Alex, look at me." When she said my name, I couldn't help but look at her. Our eyes met and I fell for her all over again. I just couldn't help myself.
"Sonny," I managed to choke out her name and she smiled softly, leaning her forehead on mine. My eyes closed when our foreheads touched.
"Are you really a wizard?" She asked quietly and I laughed gently. "Oh, come on. You really expect me to believe you?"
"I do, yeah. And I could get in a load of serious shit for telling you..." I told her, opening my eyes again. I moved my forehead from hers and reached into my right boot, taking out my wand to show her.
"Prove it to me then." She told me, letting go of my face. She didn't let go of my hand though. I didn't think she really wanted to. But I didn't really mind. That's quite all right by me.
"Well... how do you want me to prove it to you, Sonny?" I asked. There were a ton of ways I could go about doing this.
She sighed and bit her bottom lip, thinking. She was in somewhat deep though. She licked her lips and then smirked a little. She leaned towards my ear and whispered something into it; I felt my face grow hot.
"No, I'm not doing that. You're perfect just the way you are. That's why I love you so much," I told her quietly. She giggled and pressed a kiss against my cheek.
"Okay, fine." She squeezed my hand again. "Let's go to the moon,"
"Oh, you don't want to go there. It's not fun at all." I replied to her. Honestly, I had never been to the moon. I was just being lazy. "Why are you trying to be all... extravagant? Can't you think of something minor?"
Sonny rolled her eyes to me. "You are so lazy, Alex." Ugh, fine. Before she could say anything else, I started running out of the prop house and over to the Falls set. We could see Chad and someone else doing a scene and cameras were rolling.
"Watch this," I muttered an improvised spell under my breath – "Chad Dylan Cooper sleeps like a log, make his voice sound like the croak of a frog." – and pointed my wand in Chad's direction. Sure enough, the next line that came out of his mouth resembled that of a croaking ribbit. Sonny cupped a hand over her mouth to muffle her laughter and she squeezed my hand tightly. She pulled me to our dressing room. Luckily, now that Tawni was gone, we had a dressing room all to ourselves. She locked the door behind us. I tucked my wand back into my boot.
"Well, I don't think I believe you, Alex." She told me, letting go of my hand. I couldn't help but roll my eyes at her.
"Gosh, Sonny... what else do you want me to do to prove to you that I'm a wizard?" I asked, but I was keeping my voice down. Vents had a way of carrying voices to unwanted listeners in other rooms; I had learned that the hard way.
"Kiss me in the rain." She told me, her arms folded over her chest. She was standing a few feet away from me, almost in the middle of the room.
"Right now? But it's not raining..."
"So make it rain. You're a wizard. You can do that, can't you?" She asked, shuffling her foot against the carpet shyly and shrugging, a small smile on her face. It was a shy smile. She was nervous; I could tell by the way her cheeks were a light, rosy red color.
"I can, but then we're going to get all wet... and it'll ruin our hair,"
"We can fix that later." She reassured me. I reached into my boot again and uttered the spell to make a rain cloud appear over both of our heads. As I took strides to move closer to her, the cloud began to shrink in size, so it only covered the space above our heads. I tucked my wand back into my boot and tried to get her to unfold her arms from her chest. She did, and she wrapped her arms up around my neck.
"Believe me yet?" I asked her, holding her hips to bring her closer. The dark cloud above us rolled its thunder quite loudly and crackled its lightening, making the whole room ten times brighter for a split second.
"Ha, not a chance, Russo." She whispered back to me, leaning her forehead on mine.
"When are you going to believe me?"
"When you kiss me in the rain,"
"But we're not a couple; why would I kiss someone that I'm not dating?"
"Because you love me, remember?"
"But do you love me, too?" I noticed a slight hesitation in her demeanor. She shifted her head to bring our lips closer, only a fraction of an inch apart. Her breath was tickling my chapped lips and she was driving me crazy. The worst part? She knows she's driving me crazy, too.
"I do love you, Alex." Before she could even take another breath, I pressed our lips together in something of a rather rough kiss. But I could feel her smiling into it. We stayed like this for awhile, ignoring the frantic knocking at our dressing room door. It didn't matter that Marshall was outside of the door, trying to get our attention. We were lost, as far as everyone else was concerned. However, they didn't know that we were lost in each other.
I still don't know if we're even officially a couple again. But what the hell. I don't care. Sonny said she would sleep over tonight; she mentioned something about missing the feeling she got when she woke up in my arms. I swooned when she mentioned it. I couldn't help myself. All in all, I'm just glad that Sonny gave me another chance.
A/N: This is the end of this story. Thank you for all of my loyal reviewers. I intend to finish writing iRelationship now. Baha. So for any of you readers that aren't into iCarly, I'm sorry! I'll try to get more SWAC/WoWP & PPP & general Demena stuff up for you to read. :)