Wishes

"The town would like to bring their final witness to the stand."

At this, the girl pushes her chair out and slowly stands. As if the severity of the situation struck her on the back of the legs, she wobbles slightly as she walks to the front of the room. She can feel all eyes on her as she swears to tell the truth and nothing but the truth so help her God—all eyes except for his.

As she sits at the witness's stand, she figures that his bowed head is a gesture of shame. This gives her confidence: she can lose nothing. She is the victim. She has done nothing wrong.

He, on the other hand, has done everything wrong.

"Hinamori-san, tell us about Aizen-san." Her lawyer gently asks. "What was he like?"

"I-I…don't remember."

"Nothing?"

She shakes her head.

"So you can't tell us a single thing about your memories before you were fourteen?" Her lawyer points out.

"No…" She speaks softly and then hesitates to add on, "not specific memories, but I can remember feelings…"

"Feelings?"

"Warm feelings. Like happiness. I remember feeling safe and I remember that someone was really important to me."

"Who was that important person, Hinamori-san?"

She looks at her lap. "I can't see his face. I can't remember."

"And why is that?"

Her eyes go to the boy.

"Because he shot the only father I had."

Gin never figured out about our all-nighters on the rooftop. In a sad sort of way, I was grateful for Gin's nasty behavior, for it gave us something in common, something to make us feel close again. It was horrible, and thinking about it back then made me feel just as guilty as I do writing it now. But as I watched the bonds we spent so long forming slowly snap and unwind, I was grateful for anything that would prevent our relationship from ending.

There was one night, out of all the nights Gin was too busy drinking all of the alcohol in the cabinets, that I remember the most—that was the one when we saw our first comet. You preferred to call it a wishing star, despite its scientific inaccurateness. You told me that it was true, that wishing stars—because that they only appeared rarely in a person's life—grants a person's wish made while the star is still glowing in the sky.

"That's dumb, comets are comets. They're just big, dirty hunks of ice flying in outer space and leaving a trail of whatever is being burned from them by the atmosphere." I replied, simply staring at the streak of blue-tinged white light.

"It's a wishing star. And it grants wishes. How could it be a huge hunk of rock when it's so pretty?" You stubbornly replied.

I let it go. If there was one thing that I was completely reassured of back then, it was that your optimistic view—your way of seeing things in the most magical, romantic, and happy way possible—would never leave you.

"Fine, make a wish then. Let's see if it happens."

"Okay, but you have to make one too, Shiro-kun!"

So I followed you and closed my eyes, letting the bright light of the comet in the sky pass by. It lit up the sky as soon as it fell to the horizon, since soon, the light that shone through my eyelids left, leaving me in nothing but darkness.

I opened my eyes and turned to you: the look you had on your face is one of the clearest pictures of you I still have in my mind. I swear, your eyes were just as bright as the comet, maybe even brighter.

"What did you wish for, Shiro-kun?" You asked breathlessly, as if the comet had taken your breath away with it.

Seeing how eager you were to share yours, I let you go first.

"For us to be together. Forever."

There were rare moments where I could not find anything to say. And this was one of them, for I could do nothing but stare at your smile, which seemed to glow lighter than any star in the sky.

"I wished that we can stay happy forever and safe together. I wished that I could watch you grow into a grumpy old man." You giggled at the end, and then asked curiously, "What did you wish for."

"Three pounds of candy."

"Shiro-kun!..."You whined exasperatedly.

Actually, you probably never figured this out, but being the stubborn kid who still loved teasing you, I lied about my wish. Or maybe, even I wasn't ready to admit that a part of me was so desperate to escape the life I had—the one I hid from you and everyone else who cared—that I would try relying on a flying rock in the sky.

You see, I wished for a father. A real one that would love both of us and give us the happiness we had been denied since our births.

But that was the first and final wish I made and will ever make.

People like to believe that wishes are something extraordinary—that they transcend the rule of equal payment. But they are not; they are just like anything else: they come with a price.

So when Gin finally left, we got Aizen back. His openly harsh, aggressive temperament and heavy drinking in the day made it clear that he had lost his job. We both agreed that he was "scarier" than usual. Except I scorned and hated him for it while you tried to understand and pity him.

That was one thing I hated: You always looked for the best in people. Even when there wasn't a single shred of benevolence in them at all.

He never got anything. In fact, he only got worse. The dark shadows in his eyes began to materialize even in front of you. He stopped being kind to me in your presence. Stopped refraining from throwing violent fits in front of you. Stopped being kind to you altogether.

You cried the first time he yelled at you. You tried to make him breakfast-in-bed, but the moment you tried to wake him up the way you did with me by throwing open the curtains and letting the sunshine in, he got angry. He called you stupid and useless. Threw the food you woke up 2 hours earlier to make to the floor. Made you clean it up. Shouted at you until you left in tears.

My punishments got worse as well. Standing up for you meant enduring words—words carved into my flesh by glass, razors, or whatever sharp was nearby. By the end of your last year in junior high and my second year in high school, I had scars all over my body.

Liar. Useless. Disobedient. Unloved. Unwanted…

These were only few of the words my skin became a graffiti wall for. And while they were easy to hide from you and everyone else at school, they were not so easy to ignore when I had to shower and walk past the bathroom mirror.

As things got worse, I could not help but avoid going to "that place" as much as possible—"that place" was supposed to be home, but—even with you there—I could not bring myself to call it "home".

I left you there, occasionally…and then eventually often, alone with Aizen. And each time I looked at the house and walked away, I could see you waiting for me to come, watching for the front door to open. Whenever I saw this in my mind, I would hate myself. And yet, I could not overcome the fear I had for him—no not him, but the words he engraved into my flesh that would eventually seep into my consciousness.

Do you remember Jushiro Ukitake? The man who ran that candy store near the place we lived? Well, that was where I was each time I came home late—if I came home at all.

We met Ukitake on one of the first days we were adopted. He gave us free candy as a welcome gift and told us to drop by anytime. We did, but our visits slowly became less frequent as we turned eleven, to twelve, and then thirteen. But some particular day brought the urge for me to revisit the candy shop you and I loved to spend time together in two years ago.

The moment I opened the door, it was like nothing had ever changed. The visitor bell rang just like it did when we first walked in. The smell of caramels, chocolates, fruit chews, and peppermint mixed all into one aroma was still the same. And Ukitake was standing at the cash register with large jars of colorful sweets behind him—just like before.

Ukitake recognized me when I walked in, he welcomed me. "Oh! Toushiro-kun, welcome! How are you?"

"Fine." The word came from my mouth, which was accustomed to lying. I didn't quite understand why I was there and started to look around.

"It's been a while hasn't it? You've grown so much."

"Yeah."

Pretty soon, Ukitake lured me into conversation. How was Hinamori? Were we the same height now? What grade was I in again? Did I make any new friends?...

That was the start of my frequent visits to the sweet shop, the first place that ever started to feel like "home".

At first, I told myself I was only going there for the free candy. But then I would linger there, hesitant to go. Something about the warm air—even if I hated warmth—kept me. Maybe it was the fact that I knew that if I went home, I would only be beaten all over again and watch you cry.

Ukitake never asked me to leave. He never asked the reason for my visits. He simply began talking, asking me questions about the most trivial things, such as what I learned in school or if I saw the score for the latest baseball game. For that, I was grateful—he gave me a chance to have a normal conversation any father would have with a son.

There were times when I didn't want to leave at all—times that I was so scared of going back and seeing those words on my body in the mirror. At those times, he would let me stay. He would fix something up and I would devour it—somehow, the food I ate there was the best I had ever ate. And when I fell asleep, I would wake up on the sofa by the wall of the shop with blanket over me. Ukitake would be snoring gently on a stool, right next to me, just in case I woke up screaming from the nightmares that frequently haunted me. For there were days that I truly believed Aizen could see me, and was waiting to watch me fall.

On the final day of my sophomore year, I brought you to candy shop to reunite with him and he insisted that we celebrate your graduation. He brought us out to eat—something we hadn't done since the first day we arrived at that town. Except that day, the food tasted better, the night lights looked brighter, and the laughter sounded sweeter.

That day could've been the happiest day of my life—right next to the day I met you.

But when we walked home, joking and laughing, we were about to cross the street. The sign lit white for walk, and so we did. And you know how sometimes, the sign turns red just when you are almost at the other block? Well, that's what happened to us.

You and I had raced to the end of the block, trying to beat each other to the end due to a harmless bet. We were laughing, and gasping for breath. And while you were doing this and admitting defeat, I turned around to call out to Ukitake, who was at the lane closest to us.

I turned in time to see a car speed right by. And with that, everything that made me feel safe and warm for those few months shattered.

As of now Ukitake can't walk. He can't speak or see either. The shop he owned—my "home"—was shut down. I visited him once and a while, but the hospital had strict visiting hours. So once again, I was, in my mind, an orphan.

I forgot to cry the day I saw his tall figure crushed. I, to this very day, am not quite sure why. Something about the weight that crashed down on me, didn't give me a chance to squeeze a tear from my eyes.

While our surroundings became a scene, while people began to mutter what happened and what poor children we were, while you sobbed on your knees, I could do nothing to stare in shock and let my invisible grief paralyze me.

It wasn't the amount of blood or his distorted body that stabbed me; it was the man in the car.

I saw Aizen behind the windshield of that very car that took the only fatherly figure I ever had from me.

There are reasons why I don't make wishes anymore, and that's because it was that day that I discovered the truth about wishes: they are curses. For whenever anything good actually happens to me, someone close to me has to pay the price.

Nothing good ever comes out of my happiness.

Okay, okay, first of all, I am on my knees right know and begging for forgiveness. I'm so sorry for suddenly freezing on the writing! I was so busy and had NO time whatsoever for this. So please please forgive me!

I'm looking back on the chapter and wondering if I had lost my touch on my writing skills. Hopefully this is up to par with the rest of the previous chapters. I haven't written any fanfiction in such a long time…

Anyway, I promise to be writing like crazy this break, since I am entirely free of homework. For those of you reading this, thanks for staying true to this little fanfiction of mine!