Dear diary 10. 28.10.09
Dear diary.
Mum, I'm not sure anymore.
Mum, I thought it was well worked out. I was actually hoping to have the last one come first. It's the main achievement I'm going to get to. It sounds good to me mum, because I'll get to see you. I'll be really happy with you, won't I?
Something told me that I'd be really sad with you then here, but I ignored that and went with my instincts. I know its ridiculous mum, but I fell asleep on the lounge, again; thinking about what to do. He hurt me badly, not D but him. I didn't want to say his name ever again, he will now be known as X. Because that was what he was, my ex. I hate X with all my being. I never felt anything with him anyway. His kiss didn't satisfy me, he wasn't worth the effort. That was what I told myself, but when I arrived at school we were the gossip. Word had spread about the party.
Mum, I didn't want to go to school now, because people bombarded me with questions. I saw X at school, he was smirking at me. Everything my friends told me was lie; he had spread lies throughout the school. Not only was I now the disease, but I was the two timing disease. D came to me when I cried. I was in the deserted girl's bathroom and he walked straight in and right next to me. He sat next to me and I cried into his chest. I know now mum, why I am reluctant to kill myself. I'm starting to believe there was a reason for me to live; he was sitting right next to me. I had to know though, and I asked him what he felt.
He confessed mum, he made me cry harder, although he never left me.