Emilia gripped her broomstick tight to keep her hands from shaking, and swallowed hard. Over the past couple of weeks, her practices with Annie had gone well and her physical memory had returned quickly. And yet she felt so nervous that she had skipped breakfast that morning in fear of throwing up. It didn't help that most of the people who had turned up to the try-outs had already been on the Gryffindor Quidditch team, and the rest were bright-eyed second-years, thirsty for a position in one of the few places one could gain fame at Hogwarts.
"Just focus, okay?" Annie wrapped an arm around her shoulder and gave her a little shake. "You've always been good, but you just get-"
"Too anxious, I know. I think I'll be okay this time."
"Well, I'm going to be right here with you, and Fred'll be here as well."
"With James."
"Don't you think about James. He's not going to do anything, or else he'll have me to answer to. And look," Annie pointed up to the stands. "There's Albus, and Lily, and your brother. Eve and Natalie should be here soon. Everyone believes you can do it this year."
"Hello ladies." The two of them turned to see Fred approaching, with James and a boy with white-blonde hair.
"Hey, Fred." Annie gave Emilia's hand a little squeeze and reached out to shake Fred's. "Good luck today."
"You too. Though, we were so great on the team last year, they can hardly let us go."
"I wouldn't be so sure about that," said the blonde boy. "I'm captain now, and in Quidditch, being family won't do you any good. And I don't care that there is no tournament; McGonagall said that there'll definitely be some matches, maybe even against the visiting schools, and we're winning every match we play in, no matter what."
"I'm surprised to see you here," James sniffed at Emilia's shivering form. "Haven't you failed try-outs for the past three years?"
"Easy, James," Annie warned, scowling.
Emilia stared at the ground, almost wishing that the anger would take hold of her and tell James how she was going to make it this year. But convincing James meant that she would first have to convince herself.
"I'll be the judge of the team choices, James." The blonde boy held out a hand to her. "I'm Louis Weasley, this year's captain. Annie has spoken highly of you in the past. I'm sure you'll do great today."
"It's nice to meet you." Emilia shook his hand, managing a smile.
"What position are you going for?"
Emilia was going to shake her head, not really knowing what she was strongest in, but Annie jumped in with an answer. "She's pretty well rounded, and a good catch, but her arm is the best. She'd make a great Beater."
James scoffed, but fell silent under Annie's glare. Louis gave her genuine smile. "I think your chances are better than you think. By the looks of these second-years, there could be spot open for you. Now let's get started."
Emilia dropped her head again, her hair falling to hide her beaming smile. Louis seemed lovely, and he had done a good job in settling her nerves, if only a little. If she could just hold it together, something told her that she had a good chance of making it.
"Alright," Louis yelled over the chatter. "If you'd all like to quieten down. I'd like to remind you that just because you made the team last year, that does not guarantee you a place on the team this year. We will be doing a series of trails, one for each position, and these will give you the opportunity to show off your skills. We'll start with the Seekers, but if everyone could get into the air for a warm up."
Tying her hair into a ponytail at the nape if her neck, Emilia mounted her broom and kicked off the ground. She soared into the sky, swooping across the pitch to curl around the back of the goal posts, and back towards the posts on the other end of the field in a figure of eight motion. After a few circuits, the players were asked to stop and retreat to the sides of the pitch so that the Seeker trial could begin.
Many of the entries were second-years, small and nimble, with the latest models of broomstick. One girl stood out from the rest; she was very slight with short, mousy brown curls. Though the team wouldn't be revealed until the end of the week, it was quite clear who would be chosen to be the Seeker.
Next were the Beater trials. Although Emilia had gone up for Chaser for the past two years, Annie's insistence that she was made for beating forced her to her feet and kicked off from the stands. A couple of second years, a boy who had been a Beater when she was in her third year, and James, who had held onto his position for the past three years, joined her in hovering opposite Louis in the middle of pitch.
"Okay, what you have to do is simple. I'll be releasing four Bludgers, and you have to make sure that they don't hit me, or my assistant. Annie!" he shouted over to the stands. "They'll be plenty for each of you to do, so don't try and crowd each other. This is about showing your own skill, not sabotaging other people."
"Yes, caption?" Annie appeared at Louis' side.
"You'll be dodging Bludgers, if you can do that."
"I'll do my best."
Louis pointed his wand to the ground, and up rose five bats. Catching one in her left hand, Emilia waved it a little, getting a feel for the weight. With another flick of his wand, Louis released the Bludgers. The dangerous whoosh of the balls pelting towards them made Emilia heave up the front of her broom, rising and staying well clear of the Bludgers' paths.
Once she was high enough to view the entire pitch, she stopped to take a breath. Trying to remember everything that Annie had told her, Emilia took a few more deep breaths. I can do this. I can do this, she thought over and over again until it was all she could hear. No wind, no cheers from the spectators, just those words.
Leaning forwards slightly, Emilia flew back down to goal level. If she was going to get this position, she would have to show that she had more than just a good swing; she had to let Louis know that she was accurate as well. Swooping under a flailing second-year, she spotted a Bludger tailing a few metres behind Annie. Lining herself up with the left goal post, and between the ball and Annie, she held back her arm, ready to swing. For a moment, she thought she might feel the stirring in her chest, but with the adrenaline pumping through her, she realized that she wouldn't need it.
Gaging the distance carefully, she hit the Bludger full on with her bat and watched it fly through the hoop. The impact buzzed through her fingers, down her arm and into her shoulder. There were cheers from a group in the stands, but Emilia was too focused to look and see who it was because, before she could register where she needed to be, she spotted a black shape coming towards her. Readying herself, Emilia swung again, this time attempting to get the Bludger into the middle hoop.
"It came from that Beater from a couple of years ago." Annie came to hover beside her. "It looked like he was trying to take you out. But at least you got it in!"
"It went in?" Emilia smiled. She had been too busy looking around for any other attacks to watch the result of her own shot.
"Of course it did. You're doing brilliantly."
As the two of them caught their breath, they observed the carnage that was the rest of the Beater try-outs. The Bludgers that Emilia had hit were nowhere to be seen, and whilst Louis reprimanded the Beater who had allegedly aimed a shot at her, there was another ball on its way behind him. But before it could get anywhere near him, James had skimmed the ground of the pitch and rocketed up to smash the Bludger sky high. It was a move that he was famous for and one that always pleased the crowds.
Emilia wasn't sure whether it was because he was a Potter, or that it was a particularly difficult shot, that people liked it so much. And as much as she hated to admit it, no matter how much she disliked everything else about him, she would have been a fool to deny that he was an excellent Quidditch player.
But the repercussions of this particular move soon became clear to her. As James rubbed his upper arm, the Bludger came back into view, plummeting towards him at an alarming rate. Before she had time to think, Emilia's body pushed forwards on her broom, shooting into the path of the Bludger. She smashed the ball into the sand on the right side of the pitch, but the sheer force of her blow caused her to fly over the front of her broom, and she hung by one hand fifty feet in the air.
"You okay, Emilia?" Louis called up to her.
"Yeah," she managed to croak, beginning to swing her legs back and forth until she had enough momentum to fling herself back onto her broom.
"Great," Louis smiled. "Beater trials are over. Keepers, you're up next."
Returning to Annie's side briefly, Emilia wished her good luck and flew over to the stands where her brother and friends were now standing.
"That's was amazing!" Will barely let her find her feet before he pulled her into a hug.
"Well done, Emilia," Albus smiled.
Emilia was so happy that she could have cried. Finally, her hard work seemed to be showing a little pay-off. But when James landed a little way along the stands, she turned away, though not dropping her smile. He hadn't believe that she could be a Beater, and although it may not have been a good enough effort to get her a place in the team, she had proved him wrong. And for now, that was a good enough effort for her.
The following Saturday, towards the end of lunchtime, Emilia sat at the Ravenclaw table, with Kyle, Will and Annie.
"You should have seen her!" Annie continued her highly overexaggerated recount of what had happened at the trials. "She swooped up and practically saved James' life."
"It really wasn't anything like that. I just wanted to get on the team," Emilia blushed, squirming in her seat.
"And it worked, didn't it?"
"I'm sorry I couldn't see it." Kyle bumped Emilia's shoulder playfully. "I knew you'd make it this year. There must be some matches on that you can play in."
Emilia smiled again, and as she did, a trio of Slytherin girls came hurrying into the Great Hall. She watched discretely as the girl with wavy, golden-blonde locks stopped where James was sitting at Gryffindor's table and placed her hands on his shoulders. Leaning over so her head was right next to his face, she said something to him. Emilia expected him to laugh or give her his signature grin as he usually would, but instead he only managed a half-smile and looked deep in thought.
"What is she looking at?" One of the other two girls had glanced over and spotted her staring. Alice looked up from James and over at Emilia, who immediately surrendered her gaze, looking instead to the table.
"Just ignore them," but Annie's eyes betrayed that she knew it wouldn't help.
"It's just Pandora," whispered Will. "She's all talk but won't ever do anything about it. Just don't listen to her."
By this time, Pandora had strolled over to where the four of them were sitting, each click of her heel making Emilia wince. "You think that just because you made the team, you have the right to think yourself like us?"
"Pan, please. She never said anything like that."
"Shut up, Will. You always were weak, too caring about this sorry little being. She'll never change. She'll always be that little parasite. No one wants her around, so she might as well just end it all and we'll be better off."
Before Will could let the redness explode from his face, Alice spoke. "Enough," she said, in a low, warning tone. "You don't want to waste your time on her, Pan."
"But you can't deny it, Alice." Her voice dripped with silky slime. "Something is very wrong here. I wonder how it was the she ended up on the team. Perhaps Louis felt sorry for her." Pandora leant over the table so that her face was level with Emilia's. "Or maybe, she gave him something, begged on her knees for him to choose her."
At this, Annie stood, grabbing hold of Pandora's collar and stepping out of the bench. She was a good deal taller than Pandora was, and even over a metre away, Emilia could see the birth of fear in the Slytherin's eyes. "You don't get to say shit like that to her, you slut!"
"Annie, don't." The mutters slipped from her lips before the hand could stop them. But now Emilia could feel the fingers crawling up and around her throat, tears stinging her eyes. She didn't like seeing Annie like this, and what made things worse was that she was doing this for her. Thinking back on everything, all of the realizations that she'd had, all that her father had said, she knew that she couldn't back out anymore. Will was already on his feet, but Emilia wouldn't let him lose his friends because she wasn't strong enough. "Let go of her," she forced out. Reluctantly, Annie heaved a sigh and obliged.
No sooner had she come out of the Gryffindor's grip, Pandora's face turned to scowl, and she spat some curses about Gryffindors not knowing their place. And that was all it took.
The darkness curled inside her chest. The hand around her neck fell away. The fear was gone. Looking around the Great Hall, she saw that only the two parties, and a couple of staring stragglers we present. Pushing on the table, she rose to her feet. Then came the voice that wasn't hers. "You won't bother us again." The words were feeble but the sound was strong.
"Excuse me?" Pandora cocked her head to one side.
"Are you deaf?" These words came out slowly. "I said, you won't bother us again."
"Emilia, are you okay?" Kyle looked petrified.
"Oh shit, it's happening again." Annie whispered, so that those at the other table couldn't hear her. By this time, they were all staring at Emilia. The five Gryffindor boys, Alice, Pandora, and the third Slytherin, Faith McNulty, had their eyes fixed on the serious girl in front of them.
"Emilia, I think we should go and see Dad."
But she ignored her brother, glaring directly at Pandora. Stepping out of the benches, she made her way over to her, treading much like a hunter would as it approaches a deer. "Did it ever occur to you that maybe, just maybe, I might be good enough to be on the Quidditch team?"
"What are you doing?" Pandora backed up, pulling her wand from her robes. "Do you want to duel? Is that it?"
"Pan, stop it now." Alice's stern voice made Pandora's attempts sound like a mere mouse in comparison.
"Of course." She turned to her friend. "If anyone should do it, it should be you."
As soon as Pandora had backed down, Emilia expected the stirring to subside, allowing her control of her body and voice again. But instead, it weaved its way into her hand, pulling her wand from her sock, accepting the challenge for her.
"Come on, Alice. It's just a little sob-story. You could take her."
Alice swallowed, piercing her lips together in discomfort. But with Pandora and the Gryffindor boys now staring at her expectantly, she bit her bottom lip and produced her wand. Raising it towards Emilia, she backed into the centre aisle. By now, the rage was flowing through Emilia like the blood in her veins. Striding to stand opposite Alice, she stared her down with blazing fury in her eyes.
"You don't have to do this." Annie hurried forwards. But the thing inside her didn't even allow Emilia to move her head and acknowledge Annie's presence behind her. Part of her wanted to fight against it, to keep her sanity and prevent Alice from getting anything more serious than a slap in the face. However, a greater part of her wanted to see just how far it would take her, and what she was really capable of. The only people who existed in the world were Alice and herself.
"Serpensortia." A king cobra shot out of Alice's wand, slithering its way towards Emilia.
Even without the heat of her rage, Emilia did not fear snakes. A typical move from her former friend, she thought, never wanting to get her own hands dirty. "Incendio!" the voice from within commanded, and the cobra melted into nothingness in the flames.
Alice looked up at her, watching carefully for her next move. With every breath, the anger was gaining more and more control, but before she could even fully raise her wand, the blonde girl screamed, covering her face in panic. "Stupify!"
Emilia shot backwards, taking the full force of the spell. She landed on the platform where the teachers' table stood, cold stone against her face. Her vision and hearing turned hazy, so that she could scarcely register Annie firing hexes in her stead or see who had sent her brother flying with a curse. Will's body fell limp against the steps a couple of metres away from her, his head smacking against the stone and a little blood beginning to trail down his face.
She tried to reach out to her brother, but somebody was blocking her view. As her vision cleared, she saw that Kieran and Danny, two of the Gryffindor boys, had rushed to her brother's aid.
"Hey, hey. He's going to be okay. Alright, we're going to get you both to the hospital wing." Fred touched the side of her face, taking her hand in an attempt to help her up. But she shoved him away and got slowly to her feet. There was only one way for this to end with her victory, so she stopped fighting it.
For a moment, her vision went completely black, and when it returned, it did so with a black haze framing everything that she saw. She didn't feel pain or sickness, as she should have done. Her whole body boiled with a rage she never knew she had. The monster cried out in her mind, thirsty for blood.
"Emilia, stop! It's not worth it!" Fred called after her.
"Shut up!" Her voice had never sounded so little like her own. It was low, bellowing. "You don't know anything! You don't know what I went through!" Practically throwing Annie out of the way, she pointed her wand at the now petrified Slytherin. Alice shook violently, but seemed unable to move from where she stood. Emilia could see her mouth moving, muttering words that she couldn't hear. For all she knew it was a jinx that would only cause her more pain.
"You have to stop this." Annie was at her side once more. "You could get into trouble."
"Oh really?" The voice turned shrill as the monster twisted Emilia's head to look at Annie. "Let me ask you something." She turned back to Alice and began a menacingly deliberate walk towards the unmoving girl. "What do you think could be worse than being told you aren't good enough, being drugged up until you feel completely numb, not being able to speak to your own brother because some pathetic group of people have decided that because you're the teacher's daughter, you're not good enough to be associated with them? And of course, with Mr Potter's protecting wing over my brother, you couldn't possibly treat him the way you treated me. All of you are completely pathetic, bowing to the whims of the son of the Chosen One and his sickening little girlfriend." Emilia stopped an arms-length away from Alice, her wand touching the centre of her chest. "I can't believe I ever even wanted to be in group with you guys."
"P-please. I swear, we'll leave you alone."
"Oh," her voice lowered to a whisper. "I'll make sure of that." She leaned in closer so that her face was just a few inches from Alice's. She smirked. "Sectumsempra."