Pub Tails

Ratchet sat on the sandy beach in front of his cabana. They were all very lucky to have gotten a massage. Fortunately, the visitors in the Royal Beach got a masseur sent to them. Therefore, they got a massage in the beach house. Talwyn had left him to get hers done by a muscular Cazar. Ratchet was jealous of him. Steal my girl, eh? He thought. Not a chance. I'll bet he doesn't even work to get those muscles. I'll bet he's on steroids. Heck! What am I doing sittin' around here? I have to save her. Ratchet was just about to start running toward the cabana when he was suddenly face-to-face with Talwyn. No need. He thought. It's taken care of.

"How was it?" Ratchet asked.

"Great," Talwyn replied. "I've been tryin' ta reach that spot for months! How was yours?"

"Probably just as awesome," Ratchet said. "It was just as I hoped. That was one hot masseur…"

Ratchet was cut off by Talwyn giving him one of those looks. Ratchet knew he was going to need to back that up with something fast, or he'd end up feeling the wrath of a female Markazian. Not good.

"But, not as awesome as you, Tal," Ratchet decided. "I mean, you've always been like my mate."

Ratchet paused at that, he knew that he had not mated in about six years. That was a lot of time. His first mate, Sasha, wasn't exactly the greatest mate a Lombax could ask for. She wanted to raise kits. Ratchet began to think at that point. He was only seventeen at the time, and he would probably make a lousy father.

"You okay, Ratchet?" Talwyn asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Ratchet replied. "I was just thinking about my past."

"Hmm," Talwyn said. "Well, Justin wants to know if we can go out tonight."

"Yeah," Justin's voice said excitedly from behind them. "Can we?"

Ratchet thought for a moment. Not about whether the answer was yes, or no, but he was deciding on a place to go. But it must have looked like he was deciding on an answer, because Justin said, "Please?"

"Well," Ratchet said. "There's a nice pub in the Zunis Sector on Zenith Four."

"A pub?!" Talwyn said in the blindness of Ratchet. "Absolutely not!"

"It's a root beer pub." Ratchet continued. "Their said to make the best stuff in the galaxy. I've never been there myself, though. But I'm sure that it'll be a great place to go and eat and grab a shot of the specialty. Plus…" Ratchet was now whispering in Talwyn's ear. "…they've got sledge tables there."

Talwyn brightened up at that. Sledge was basically a poker game that was real fun for her (But not anyone who dared to play against her). She was the reigning champion back at the Space Station. Even Ratchet, who had played with a couple of buddies when he was thirteen, living alone in a garage, no more than sixty bolts to his name. But, usually, they would just play with about one bolt at a time each night. Ratchet won about half the time, but he couldn't compare to the awesome talents of Talwyn Apogee. But, it was kind of fun to lose to her. This was because of reasons that Ratchet did not know. The game consisted of a full deck of holo-panels, a five thousand bolt buy-in, and the skill required to take your opponents' money. Each player would put a selected amount of bolts into the pot to begin. This was the ante. But in this game, you put in money depending on how sure you are that you are going to win the pot. After this, you are dealt four holo-panels. You bet according to whether or not you have the best hand. After this, you are asked to show your hand. If you have an ace, you are hammered, and you lose. It would be best to fold this hand if you got one. Your cards are judged based on the highest card. If two cards are the same, it will be judged on the second card in the hand, and so on. The winner would take all before-game-bets made by the players, and bets and raises made by the players. This could end up being a lot of money.

"What are we waitin' for?" Talwyn said. "Let's go!"

They all were on the automatic transport crafts in less than four minutes. The crafts raced over the ocean at what seemed like much faster speeds than the trip to the cabana. But no one cared. They were all excited to go out. Ratchet was one excited Lombax. He had never been to this pub before, so it could be an experience for him. But what all was there to do? Well, drink root beer, play a few hands of sledge, and see the sights that this one little pub had to offer. But what was this feeling that Ratchet felt deep inside his nervous system? It wasn't happy, or sad, but he couldn't put his finger on it… That's it! Ratchet thought. But he decided to test it out to be sure. He started to move closer to Talwyn. Pretty close, but not too close that she would notice, he didn't want to embarrass himself any further than he had already. Yep, that feeling got stronger every step he took toward her. Ratchet knew from then on what that feeling was. It was love. Ratchet was embarrassed. But, he didn't want to deny it. He kind of liked it. Well, he liked the fact that he had finally found someone. There was indeed someone for Ratchet.

Once the ship docked at the VIP ship lot, they all piled out of the craft eagerly. They all started quickly walking toward the lot. Ratchet was ahead of them all, and he was the first to see the amazing sight that had awaited him a long time.

"Okay," Talwyn said, approaching Ratchet. "I guess we're ready to go. I have some money, my ship starter, and the key to the cabana. Hey, Ratchet, do you have your mon…" Talwyn failed to say "money," and finish her sentence, she was too busy looking at what Ratchet was looking at. Seconds later, everyone else stood there gaping at a ship that had not been there before.

"You are a tough Lombax to find," Aphelion said. "Do you know that?"

"Aphelion!!!!" Ratchet said with ecstasy. "I can't believe it! You're alive! Wait, how are you alive?"

"Well," Aphelion said. "I was…er…asleep in the hangar bay, and then, I started hearing an alarm. It…uh… woke me up, and I heard a voice that said that the self destruct had activated, and I activated the Thrustmaster 1000 to get away from the blast. Then, I noticed that you were falling through space. I activated my Thrustmaster again, and I was about to catch you, but Miss Talwyn's ship got there first."

"So," Ratchet said. "Can you take me and Talwyn to the pub on Zenith Four?"

"Of course. Hop in."

"What about us?" Zephyr asked, referring to him, Cronk, Clank, and Justin.

"Uh…" Ratchet stammered before coming to a conclusion. "You can take Talwyn's ship."

Zephyr understood. "Alright," He said. "We'll meet'cha there."

Ratchet and Talwyn walked toward Aphelion. As they approached, they cockpit hatch opened, to reveal those leather seats that Ratchet had used to sit in during all his interplanetary travel ever since that day he fixed her on Planet Fastoon. Ratchet climbed into the seat. He could feel the long-lost feeling of the seat against his back and the soft material over the steering wheel. It was all there. Ratchet heavily breathed out.

Talwyn seemed a little concerned. "Ratchet, are you okay?" She asked.

"Uh, huh," Ratchet replied, snapping out of his trance. "I'm fine."

With that, Ratchet took off. The hatch was very protective, so no air got through, but the G-force never failed to be right in the cockpit. It pressed them about a half-inch into their seats, but Ratchet still managed to keep his hands on the wheel and maneuver the ship.

"The trip to Planet Zenith Four will take approximately 10 minutes in hyperspace," Aphelion said.

"Alright," Ratchet said. "Just don't give us any Gs, okay?"

Within seconds they were in hyperspace, and Ratchet released his Space-Savs. Talwyn did the same, and they both got into a relaxed position. Ratchet's being placing his feet on the dashboard, and Talwyn's simply stretching, and then returning to her original seated position.

"Have you ever been to this place before, Tal?" Ratchet asked.

"No," She replied. "Never. Have you?"

"Nope."

A long silence followed, and it was almost deafening to the Lombax. But, he managed to stay quiet for the next five minutes.

Then, they exited the orange tube that had previously surrounded them, and Planet Zenith Four came into view. Ratchet shut off the thrusters and allowed the ship to coast down to the planet slowly. There was neither too much, nor too little speed. It was the perfect speed to be used to enter an unstable planet like Zenith Four. With the skill of an ace pilot Valkyrie, he entered the atmosphere. The sudden burst of gravity and air gave some G-force, but Ratchet was prepared for anything.

"Aphelion!" He shouted out of his mouth which was being restrained by the force of gravity. "Engage the Gravo-metric stabilizers!"

Then, six small engines, three on each wing, came out of the wings and started to emit small but powerful flames out of each of them. This greatly slowed the velocity of the starship, and the root beer pub that they were searching for had just came into view, even though it was surrounded by the black ground that was all of the land on Zenith Four. This was why the planet appeared a gray-black shade. Every adventurer worth the fur on his back knew this about Zenith Four. But anyway, the pub was easily in view, and Aphelion was already slow enough to land in the hangar in front of it. They slowly made their way through the atmosphere of the planet. Until the pub was five hundred cubits below the ship. At that point, Ratchet pulled up on the steering wheel to make the ship level out. Once the ship was completely horizontal, Ratchet pulled the wheel to the left, and down a little bit to create a motion of what would have been ending up as a downward helix to the left if Ratchet would have not started out straight again, and continued down to the surface. Thirty seconds after this, they were just 20 cubits from the hangar door, and the skilled Lombax pilot was pulling into the hangar at about 30 cps (cubits per second), and then did a full U-turn, which slowed the speed rapidly to 5 cps. Then, he set the ship down using the help of the boosters beneath the ship's fuselage, and released the Space-Savs system. He had done the whole thing in two and a half minutes. It was a beautiful performance of skill and coordination with the ship. But Ratchet didn't seem to care. He was more focused on the fact that Talwyn was safe.

"Wow," Talwyn said. "That was amazing."

"What?" Ratchet asked. "Oh, the landing? Oh, that was no big deal. I just have done landings with ships ever since my first one when I first got off that old rock Veldin ten years ago, and have been practicing ever since, even though all I'd really been doing was landing sloppily on planets until I finally got better."

"Ahem," Aphelion said.

"Oh, yeah," Ratchet said, putting his elbow on the ship. "I also had a little help from my ship's awesome functions and boosters."

By the time Ratchet had finished talking about his history of landings on other planets, the other ship that contained everybody else flew in at a much slower rate than Ratchet had with Aphelion. But when it landed, Ratchet walked over to help Justin get out of the ship, but, when he got over there, he noticed that Justin had just jumped out of the ship. He looked up and smiled. They grow up too fast. Ratchet thought to himself.

The inside of the pub was just as full of hoverbike gear, crude posters, and bartenders as a real pub, but there were a few young Cazars sitting at bars getting a glass of root beer. As soon as Ratchet saw six barstools together at one counter, he started walking over to them. But, as he passed one of the Sledge tables, someone, in a very familiar Lombaxian voice, said, "Brother Ratchet!"

Ratchet looked over and saw that it was his brother, Nikone. He suddenly was overcome with disbelief and happiness. "Nikone!" He said back.

"How's the old ship holdin' together?" Nikone asked.

"Great," Ratchet replied. "I brought it here today."

"Who's yer lady friend?"

"My name is Talwyn Apogee." She said. "Ratchet lives with me now at the Nundac Asteroid Ring."

"Wait a sec," Nikone said. "Did you say Apogee?"

"Yes."

"As in Max Apogee?"

"You know him?" Talwyn said, in disbelief.

"He came to Planet Muggon one day. He was sayin' somthin' about how he was looking for something that the 'Space Pirates' took. Said it was real important that he found it, so he could return to the Asteroid Ring to see his daughter again."

Talwyn pulled out the picture of her as a child and her father holding the pyramid-shaped object that Ratchet and Her had uncovered years ago. "Would this be it?" She asked, holding up the old photo for the Lombax to see.

Nikone looked at the picture, and said, "Yeah, that's it."

"Well, it's recovered now," Ratchet said. "We stole it from the Space Pirates a few years ago. It's all taken care of."

"Glad to hear it," Nikone replied. "You wanna join me in a game of Sledge? Space-Savs stock has gone through the roof, so I'm willing to gamble a few bolts."

"In a minute," Ratchet said. "We're gonna go get settled in to this place, maybe have a special glass, and then me and Talwyn can come back and play a few hands."

"Great. I'll see in a few, Brother Ratchet."

Ratchet, Talwyn, Justin, Clank, Cronk, and Zephyr all got onto a stool around the counter. The bartender was a six foot three inch Cazar with a patch over his right eye. He looked up, and slightly smiled.

"Welcome to the Zenith Four Root Beer Pub." He said. "What can I get you all for today?"

"I'll have…" Ratchet said as he examined the chart with the different types of root beer on it. "How about the Ultra? Oh… with the works."

"I'll have the light," Justin said.

Cronk and Zephyr both ordered the same thing; a 1960 style mild with extra ice.

"Nothing for me," Clank said. "It will crash my systems, and they take forever to reboot."

Talwyn however, was still looking at one particular style of drink, up in the bottom-right corner, in fine print, Ratchet struggled to read it, but he knew that female Markazians all had superior sight that even passed that of a full grown male Lombax. However, he could make out the price of the drink, 30 bolts. If Talwyn was going to play Sledge with the five thousand bolt buy in, then she was going to have to save her money. But, apparently, she had brought extra, because she slapped down three ten bolt pieces, and said, "I'll have the 'Oh, My Goodness.'"

Everyone in the bar heard that, and they started to stare at Talwyn.

"That is one tough Markazian," Someone commented.

A Cazar at the end of the bar whispered the surprising news into the ear of someone at a Sledge table. He sat up straight, and told his friends at the table. They told the people at other tables, and, pretty soon, it got all around the pub. Everyone at the bars, the tables, and anywhere else possible in the pub stared unblinkingly at Talwyn. Even the bartender was almost gaping at her. But, an order was an order.

""Yes, ma'am." He said as he went to a tap that read 'DANGER'. He has blocking the view of everyone as he added the special unknown ingredients to the drink. Then, he turned. In his hand was a small glass that he was holding with his tall finger and thumb as if it were a bomb that was set to explode. He put it down on the counter, and then made a face as if the glass would corrode through the counter then and there. Everyone got up out of their seats in a mad scramble. There were sounds of shattering glasses, spilling root beer, the dropping of poker chips, and the gasps of everyone who started to race towards her. They all lined up around Talwyn, trying to get a good look at the glass. Ratchet didn't understand. It looked like an ordinary glass of root beer to him, but it was much more. Talwyn picked up the glass, eyed it suspiciously, and gulped it down in half a swallow.

Talwyn's expression changed to an awful grimace almost instantly. She looked like she was going to explode. She dropped the glass, and it shattered into thousands of pieces, and she dropped to the floor. She began to cough, and then, she threw up. After that it was pretty much over. Ratchet got up out of the stool, and ran over to her.

"Are you alright?" He asked.

Talwyn choked a little more before saying, "Whoa. You would not believe how awful that was."

Ratchet had to see for himself. He ordered one, and tasted it. It was sort of hot, a melting sort of BA-BOOM! ZAP taste.

"This is weird," Ratchet said.

"What?" Talwyn replied as she got up off the floor.

"I can recall you bein' able to hold yer liquor," Ratchet continued. "But you just can't hold a hot soft drink."

Most of the pub-goers just laughed and went back to their games and drinks, but a few tried the 'Oh, my Goodness' on dares from their friends. Ratchet and Talwyn ignored them and started toward the Sledge table at which Nikone was sitting, but the face they met wasn't the Nikone that they had met when they had first walked into the bar. Now it was a Nikone that was both concerned and amazed.

"How was it?" He asked, wanting to know.

"Sort of burning and hot," Ratchet answered. "Tal doesn't like it."

"It's too darned hot." She said grimacing.

Nikone chuckled. "Well, I hope you weren't too sick to attempt to beat me at the one thing that I do best."

Talwyn snorted. "No way that'll happen. I mean, it's not like I'm gonna give up a chance to win an opponents' hard earned bolts."

"You got guts, Markazian," He said challengingly. "Let's play."

"Alright," The dealer said to Ratchet, Talwyn, and Nikone. "As all three of you know, the game is No-Limit Sledge. You have each deposited a five thousand bolt buy in, and with a re-buy of ten thousand bolts. The winner of the game will receive the jackpot of fifteen thousand bolts. Ladies and gentlemen, please wager your before-game bets, and enjoy the game."

Nikone put in his sure-win bolts into the side-pot first. He put in a stack of twenty-five bolt pieces into the center.

"Bet," The dealer said. "Two hundred."

Talwyn was a little more confident. She added a stack of fifties to the pot, and her stack was slightly larger.

"Bet, five hundred."

Ratchet was unsure of what he would do and why, because he knew that he would be ultimately defeated by either Talwyn, or Nikone. So, he decided to bet smaller. He simply put in a stack of tens the size of Talwyn's into the pot.

"Bet, one hundred. The game begins."

As the panels were being passed out, Ratchet could almost feel that ace beneath one of his four cards that he would receive. But, he tried to hide the fact of his knowing. But when the first card got to him, he slyly looked at it by lifting up the top a little bit. A jack. Not bad. But there was still a king in there. The next card came. Ratchet looked at this one. It was another jack. Ratchet began to think. If I can get a third ten, I could have a good shot at winning this pot. To be sure, Ratchet studied the faces of his opponents like a bat eyeing his prey. But, unfortunately, both Talwyn and Nikone had amazing poker faces, and he just couldn't read them, much less tell what the values of their cards were. But, Ratchet decided to play off of his own cards. The next panel came along. It was the third jack. Ratchet began to get excited, and he must have shown it a little, because Talwyn looked at him out of the corner of her eye as she picked up the third panel to see. Not good, Ratchet thought to himself. I really hope that she hasn't guessed that I have jacks. But, he couldn't know. And, the fourth and final panel had come around. Ratchet eyed it the final card, and was amazed at what he saw. It was the last jack in the deck. Ratchet had the punishing four of a kind. He was confident now. He had the third best possible hand. Just behind four Queens, and that was behind four Kings. But, he had a sneaky feeling about Talwyn or Nikone having one of those. Ratchet didn't know what to do. Should he risk it, and bet big? If he did that, he'd either get the before bets, and win the hand after everyone folded, or everyone would call, and he'd win the jackpot. But, then again, if one of his opponents had four Queens or Kings, he would probably lose almost all of his money. And that wouldn't be good. But, it was just a game, and with four jacks in the hole, he decided that he had the best hand on the table, and he was willing to risk it.

"The panels have been distributed," Said the dealer. "It is time to bet. Miss Apogee, you have the liberty of betting first."

Talwyn thought for a moment. She had four Kings in the hole. The best possible hand. But, after seeing Ratchet's little flinch after the third card was distributed, she thought that he also had a good hand, but no one else on the table could have this hand, so she had surely won. She felt like there was a little fiesta going on in her head. But she didn't show any sign of giving the value of the holo-panels away until the dealer said it was time to. She decided to bet a little smaller, and see where that would lead her. She put in a stack of chips, and sat back to see if she would get a reaction.

"Bet," The dealer said as Nikone stared at his panels not knowing what to do with them. "One thousand."

Nikone continued to gaze at the cards. He had four tens, and that was a good hand. But, he almost knew Talwyn and how she played. He was guessing that she was bluffing, or, she was trying to get a reaction from him and his brother by scaring them by betting one-fifth of her stack. Nikone thought that she was pulling something a little more though, so that was what he decided to think. He responded to the bet with a raise by another one thousand.

"Raise," The dealer said. "Two thousand." Ratchet was not looking at them, but he was thinking about his jacks in the hole. That could be the winning hand, and he knew it. But, Talwyn did bet a little smaller than Ratchet had previously presumed that she would. And, for the first time that Ratchet could remember, Talwyn had not only been called, but raised. Ratchet had never had the guts to do that. Ratchet decided that he still had the best hand, and put in thirty on hundred bolt pieces.

"Re-raise, Three thousand," The dealer added almost immediately after he had pointed out the raise from Nikone. Ratchet had given a quick re-raise, and that meant that he was confident. And Nikone actually had the guts to raise her in the first place. And knowing that she had the best possible hand, she decided that it was time to stop playing around, and start playing her cards like they were meant to. She pushed in all of her chips, and smartly responded, "All in."

"Re-raise," the dealer said. "Three thousand, five hundred. All in." Nikone wasn't sure about his cards anymore, but, he still had a little confidence, and that was good enough for him. He put in his remaining bolts.

"Call," The dealer said. "All in." Now ratchet was serious. He knew that both Talwyn and Nikone had good hands, maybe even better. But, Ratchet was going to be just like he was during last stand fights that he had been in with his Judicator. He wasn't going down without a fight. He put in all the rest of his chips. This meant that all of the chips were already in the pot, and the winner of the hand would be the winner of the pot, and the whole game.

"Miss Apogee," the dealer said in reply to the chip exchange. "You have been called. Mister Nikone, show down please." The person to the right of the person who was dealt the first card was always the first person to show their hand. Nikone smiled as he showed the tens, and the dealer reacted quickly.

"Four tens for Mister Nikone." The dealer said as he gathered up the cards and laid them out for everyone to see. "Mister Ratchet…"

Ratchet also smiled, happy that he had finally beaten someone that was truly better than himself, and showed the jacks with more confidence than Nikone would ever give in any Sledge game after that.

"Four jacks for Mister Ratchet." The dealer said. He did the same thing with Ratchet's cards as he had with Nikone's. He laid them out on the green felt of the table for the players and witnesses to see. "Miss Apogee, your cards…"

Talwyn's expression never changed from a poker face. She carefully picked up the four holo-panels, laid them out in front of her on the table, directly behind the five stacks required to keep the bolts from toppling, and carefully… slowly… mysteriously… overturned her cards. To reveal, to the opponents shock, and the witnesses amazement, the four kings. The dealer could only gape at the fact that he had dealt those cards to her. But, after a few seconds, he finally mustered the strength needed to pick up the cards, lay them out, and say, "F-f-four k-kings. T-the R-Royal Quartet. T-the high h-hand."

Everyone instantly began to clap and cheer.

"Incredible!" Someone said. "She just chugged down a highly dangerous 'Oh, My Goodness' drink, and had the skill to beat the pub champion."

After everyone cleared up from wanting to congratulate Talwyn on her win, Ratchet noticed Justin sitting at the counter that they had been sitting at. He was looking at the counter, rather than upright. And he wasn't perky like he was about ninety-five percent of the time. But instead, his little ears and tail were dropping down farther than Ratchet's did when he had been seriously injured in battle. But, Justin wasn't in pain or in need of a medical center treatment; he was simply depressed over something that Ratchet simply did not understand. But he couldn't stand to see his nephew so down like this, and he walked over to the stool and sat down next to him.

"Are you alright?" Ratchet asked him after he sat down. Justin turned his little puppy-dog eyes onto Ratchet and said, "I'm just a helpless little robot's play thing."

"No," Ratchet said in reply. "You aren't. You're very smart, and if I weren't around to help you, you'd probably had broken free of Vorselon's clutches."

"You don't understand," He said back. "When the troops came for me, I was the only one in the station. In the Nundac Asteroid Ring, in fact. When they came in, I just tried to outrun them, but they were just too fast. They threw me in a cage that was sitting over a cargo drop hatch. They threatened to open it if I didn't stay quiet. Eventually, I was taken out of the small ship and they put my cage on Uralian Talcstone. I was helpless, and couldn't defend myself."

Ratchet felt great guilt. He had left his only relative at the station alone. That just put him in a prime position to be kidnapped. Ratchet decided to put it off until later, because right now, he had something else to do. Something important. Ratchet walked back over to the Sledge table at which Nikone was sitting at. He sat down at the table, and Nikone looked up.

"Hey, Ratchet," He said. "How's it going?"

"Yer not mad are ya?" Ratchet said. "Talwyn's just got the perfect poker face."

"No, not at all. But, is there a reason you came?"

"Yeah. Do ya still own that pawn shop on Planet Muggon?"

Nikone looked at Ratchet. He knew exactly what he was talking about. He smiled at the fact that Ratchet had finally matured since they were kits back on Veldin. And he was happy for him. After all, she was a nice Markazian.

"I'm way ahead o' ya, Brother," He said with a small grin on his face. "How's a raritanium mount sound?"

"She's always loved raritanium."