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Chapter 10

Confessions

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A raven-haired teen sat on the edge of a pier, letting his sandaled toes dip idly into the water. It was an uncommonly beautiful afternoon and heartbreakingly peaceful at the lake.

If Uchiha Sasuke took in any of it, it didn't show. He seemed to be looking somewhere beyond the ripples at this feet as his stormy mind wandered to the battle between him and Naruto just a few months ago.

'You're actually serious about this…damn it…'

'Yeah I'm serious. I intend to kill you…'

Confusion and hurt had shone clearly in those blue eyes. Much clearer in retrospect.

I was serious then…because I believed I had to, he thought. That loser was the only one who fit the requirement.

Sasuke saw himself kneeling on the water's surface with his hands over his eyes. But when I thought I ki—he died, it…my body just reacted. What was that feeling? What is this feeling?

He glanced at the water's surface now, watching as the ripples became calm and reform his reflection. He usually avoided the water's edge the same reason he didn't keep mirrors in his apartment. In the water he saw his brother.

'When you have the same eyes as I, come before me…'

Sasuke felt his self-loathing building in his chest and willed himself to continue to look at his reflection as if he was punishing himself.

'I don't understand…why you…but I don't regret it…coming after you,' Naruto had said.

Why?

It took his best friend dying at his hands for him to realize the irrationality of his decision. It took his best friend dying at his hands for him to realize that he had one.

'You know, Sasuke…you're strong. There…others are strong…Just…don't go to Orochimaru. You…you have a dream to fulfill…Don't you die...'

Why? Sasuke gripped at his dark locks with both hands, remembering Naruto pulling himself out of the water after he thought he had done the deed. Damn him. I couldn't do it again.

Soon, his wandering mind flashed through recent rehabilitation and training sessions, his loud teammate annoying him by talking about saying anything and everything. Everything except acknowledge the confrontation. The thought only made the Sasuke tighten his grip on his hair.

Why?

Sasuke didn't understand what had happened that morning. He could not fathom how Naruto got caught in a genjutsu. He couldn't explain why the pain didn't stop after it was released.

He sure as hell didn't understand why Naruto apologized to him.

He couldn't explain it, and he couldn't explain why he felt so sore and awful, but one thing was certain: I couldn't do anything. I can't ever do anything. I'm a pathetic monster…a monster…like…

His reflection leered at him and not for the first time, the icy-cold stung at his body as he shattered the image.

-'-

The hallway outside the emergency room was filled with a heavy silence. Jiraiya sat with his arms crossed on one of the benches that lined the wall. Across the way stood Kakashi, his hands deep in his pockets, his visible eye focused somewhere beyond the blank wall he faced.

The red light pinged off. Both sensei looked up expectantly as the door softly clicked open and a haggard Tsunade slipped out. She leaned back to close the door and rested a bit without acknowledging the two waiting. Finally, she said: "He's in stable condition."

Tsunade tried to give the two people who cared as much as she did about Naruto a smile, but her lips quivered at the attempt. Instead, her face contorted unattractively and she choked out a sob. A stream of tears lined her cheeks. Tsunade was about to let herself slide to the floor when she felt a strong arm slip around her shoulders. She gripped at the vest of her old friend and pressed her chest into his.

"I was so scared."

For once, Jiraiya didn't think a single perverted thought.

-'-

Sasuke watched the colors of the setting sun dance on the water like a million shards of broken glass. He sat on the knoll near the pier, his clothes since dry if somewhat stiff. Everything was still a little numb.

He heard sandaled feet paddle softly on the grass and stop beside him. The brooding boy didn't bother to look up.

"He's okay," he heard Kakashi's voice say.

Sasuke thought he grunted in acknowledgement.

"Jiraiya told me what happened."

Sasuke continued to stare at his hands in silence.

Kakashi looked down onto his troubled student, wondering what his sensei would say at this moment. What Obito would say.

"You know," Kakashi began, looking out into the water, "Naruto's not the kind of guy who abandons his friends. I think the best thing, is to do the same, and just be there for him."

Sasuke made no sign that he heard and after a moment, Kakashi let out an inaudible sigh and very slowly walked away.

-'-

Konoha was still. A bright moon hung high in the night sky and the crickets chirped their nocturnal song. The hallways of Konoha Hospital were silent and empty, at once calm and eerie with only the moonlight to mark the hall.

Naruto slept soundlessly in his hospital room.

With a slight creak, the door swung open and a dark figure wordlessly slipped in, casting a long shadow on the floor and onto the bed. The door closed with a soft click.

Sasuke stood there in silence, taking in the scene before him. Naruto's face was pale in the soft moonlight that filtered through the translucent curtains. His arm was hooked up to an IV. The monitor pulsed quietly in the corner.

Sasuke's dark eyes continued to rest on Naruto's prone form, watching the shallow rise and fall of his chest. Sasuke's graceful brows gradually stitched itself into a furrow and suddenly he found his jaw sore from gritting his teeth and his fists shaking at his side.

"I never asked for your help!" Sasuke surprised himself with the outburst.

Naruto responded with silence.

"You hear me, you moron?" Sasuke's voice sounded strained as he tried to control his voice. "You think you know me? What the hell do you understand? You never had a family!"

Sasuke swallowed hotly as Naruto's unconscious body continued to ignore him. Why would you go so far for me?

"I'm not sorry for what I did, you know." His voice was growing louder, but he took no heed. "I don't need you or anyone else. I have my ambition. It's all I have and all I need."

Sasuke's eyebrow twitched slightly, the presence of the IV annoying him to no end.

"What could you do anyway, you fucking hypocrite? I thought you never gave up; you never stay down. Look at you! You can't even take care of yourself!"

Sasuke felt the hot tension pent up inside his chest slowly drain away, leaving him empty and tired. He let his breath steady and the silence settle in the room again as he observed the moonlight play in Naruto's hair. He lowered himself heavily onto the bedside chair and rested his forehead on the edge of the mattress, letting his dark bangs splay messily on the white sheets.

His slender hand found its way atop the cool one of his comrade and unconsciously wrapped his fingers around it.

"I don't need your help," he whispered with tired eyes, "and I sure as hell don't need your forgiveness."

Sasuke thought he felt a squeeze.

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Chapter 11: Good Morning. Team Seven and a hospital room.