Thanks for the reviews!
And in response to purplewizard23 - Chad felt that he had accomplished something in that moment because of how much Sonny broke his heart three years ago.
And on with the story...
I lay on the couch in Tawni's living room, with my laptop resting on my lap and my head propped up on the edge of the couch. All the lights are out, and the only thing illuminating the dark room is the crackling fireplace. A warm (partly wet from my tears) quilt is covering me up. I feel so weak. I never wanted a guy to have this much power over my emotions, but here I am, googling the time Chad declared his love for me on national television.
I click on the video on YouTube and it starts to play. He's sitting opposite of a late night host, talking with him when my name is brought up.
"So are you still dating Sonny Monroe?" the host asks.
I can see Chad's eyes light up.
"Yeah," he says with a nod, a grin on his face. "It'll be two years in two months." The crowd applauds, which makes him laugh a little.
"So is there a future there? Possible marriage?"
Unlike when he was on Gotcha with Gilroy Smith, Chad happily answers, "Well, we're still pretty young now, but I honestly couldn't imagine being with anyone else. I mean, I'm always going to be in love with her."
The crowd awes, and Chad chuckles, shaking his head and rubbing his palms on the arms of the leather chair.
"Well, I'd say Sonny is a very lucky lady, or you're a lucky guy. Either one," the host says.
"We'll go with the first one," Chad jokes, earning a laugh from the audience. "But, no, I'm very, very lucky. Call it luck, call it destiny, call it whatever you want...I'm just glad she puts up with me. She's the greatest thing to ever happen to me, and I'm just grateful that I get to be with her. I think everyone has that one great love of their life, and she's definitely mine."
I pressed the space bar, unable to take it. Tears streamed down my face as I watched him. Was he lying then or is he lying now? I scroll down to look at the comments on the videos.
Sonny and Chad are goals. I wish someone would love me half as much as he loves her.
Channy is DESTINED to be together.
You can see in his eyes how in love he is with her...why did they break up? :(
Who thinks they should get back together? - 1268 thumbs up.
I hear the front door open to see Tawni walking in. She immediately notices that I'm crying, and she hurries over to me, only to find what I'm watching.
"Please don't tell me that you're sitting here torturing yourself with that interview," Tawni says, taking my laptop from me and closing it. She sets it on the coffee table and takes a seat on the couch, patting my leg.
"I think everyone has that one great love of their life, and she's definitely mine," I repeat, looking down at my lap where the laptop was.
Tawni lets out a sigh and gently says, "I've watched it, Sonny. I know what he says."
"That's funny," I say, my voice breaking. I finally look up at her. "Because it seems like Chad has forgotten." Tears start to stream down my face again as I cry, "Tawni, he asked Olivia to marry him."
Her mouth goes slightly agape and her eyes wide. "What?" she asks softly, sounding just as shocked as I was. "That's crazy."
"Maybe or maybe what's crazy is me for thinking that he could still have feelings for me after all these years," I cry, feeling foolish and ridiculous.
"We all know that...Chad isn't one to wear his heart on his sleep, especially when his pride is at stake or he runs the risk of getting hurt. He has a history of not being able to admit who he loves," she tells me, tucking my hair behind my ear and away from my face.
She does have a point, but I shake my head, not believing it. "It's different this time," I whisper.
Instead of trying to change my mind, Tawni just shakes her head and softly replies, "Okay."
"What am I supposed to do?" I whisper.
Tawni bites her lip and looks around the room. "I'll be right back," she says. She heads into my room and comes back with a copy of Chad's movie, one of the many that I have bought over the years.
"First, you're going to let go," she says, handing me the DVD and standing me up, walking me over to the fireplace. I take the DVD from her and hesitate before throwing it into the fire. "And now, we're going to sit," she says, walking me back over to the couch. "And you are going to cry on my shoulder for as long as you need to." She wraps her arms around me and I rest my head on her shoulder, crying as we watch the DVD be engulfed in flames.
The following Monday, I walk onto stage two, feeling numb and cried out. I cried all Sunday and now that sadness has been replaced by anger. I have to talk to Chad.
I walk past the sets, my jacket in hand, and head into the writer's room, to find him in there alone. He looks up from his laptop and stares at me for a few seconds before saying, "Hi."
I'm not interested in small talk, and I'm certainly not interested in him beating around the bush and acting like everything is fine.
"If you wanted to break my heart, there were about a thousand other ways you could have done it. You did not have to propose to Olivia to hurt me," I tell him in a dangerously low voice.
He licks his lips and says, "That proposal had nothing to do with you. It was just..." he picks up his coffee, brings it to his lips, and raises his eyebrows "...weird timing."
"Weird timing," I repeat, not believing him. I'm completely and utterly done with his mixed signals. I walk towards him, letting the door shut behind me. "Okay, Chad..."
I'm ready to tell him off, but I'm so angry and upset that I don't know what to say.
"I know that it must seem like-" he begins, standing up from his chair.
"No, don't marry her, Chad!" I exclaim. A few tears start to form as I walk towards him so we're only about a foot apart.
"Look, Sonny, you can't-"
"Am I crazy?" I ask him, desperately, some tears spilling over. "Do you not feel what I have felt every day we were apart for the last three years? Because I have felt..." I try to look him in the eyes, but his gaze won't meet mine. "That there is this piece of me that has been missing. And I tried to fill with work, and friends, and music. But I couldn't. But all that went away when you kissed me. And everything just snapped back into focus."
He doesn't say anything, but that doesn't stop me from continuing. "Chad, you can't marry her," I cry.
"Why not?" he asks, his tone low and almost dull, almost lacking emotion.
"Because there will never be anybody as good for you as I am, to believe in you as much as I do or love you as much," I tell him.
"I know that," he says quickly, instinctively.
"Well then why?!" I shout at him. He still isn't looking at me so I grab him by the face and force him to before bringing my hands down to his chest, but just as I let go, he looks down. "Chad, look me in the eye and tell me that that kiss didn't feel the same as it did three years ago," I tell him.
Slowly, he brings his eyes to meet mine and he pauses before saying, "I'm in love with her, Sonny."
That was not the response I was expecting. He looked me straight in the eye and didn't falter.
Suddenly the door opens, and I quickly wipe the tears away from under my eyes.
"What's going on here?" asks a girl I've seen a few times with Olivia. Tawni says they're pretty good friends, but I can't remember her name.
"Um, just congratulating Chad," I tell her. "Did you hear he's engaged?"
She just nods. "Yeah, I'm going to be her maid of honor." I can tell she thinks something fishy is going on.
"Speaking of Olivia, do you know where she is, Sabrina?" Chad asks.
Sabrina. That's her name.
"Yeah, she's in the cafeteria with Mel and Nico and Grady," she informs him.
"Alright, well, I'm gonna go see her," he says, slipping out of the room, leaving me and Sabrina alone.
She looks at me and rolls her eyes, clenching her jaw.
"I'm sorry. Did I do something to upset you?" I ask her, slightly offended. I have never seen this girl before in my life, and she's acting like I'm her worst enemy.
"Yeah, actually, you did," she says, crossing her arms. "I was at The Patio on Saturday night. I saw you and Chad kissing. And now, I'm the maid of honor to a really sweet girl whose fiance is fooling around with his ex-girlfriend behind her back so yeah, you have done something to upset me. And that should upset you too. I know that you were in love at one point, and that's great, but Chad fell in love with someone else. And I don't know why you're trying to take that away from him."
And with that, she walked out.
The girl was a bitch to me, but despite that, she does have a point. I haven't been able to stop thinking about what she said. Maybe burying my feelings is the best thing to do, if it will bring Chad happiness.
"So what do you think about that?" Mel asks, looking up from the piano with a smile on her face.
"Huh?" I ask, snapping out of my thoughts. "Sorry, I wasn't listening. Can you play it again?"
She rolls her eyes before playing the chords on the piano and singing along.
"I've got a world of chances, chances you were burning through."
These were lyrics that I had written a week ago, but I could never figure out the music to put behind it. However, Mel picked the perfect chords, and I know I made the right decision asking her to join the label. She plays through the rest of the song, and it's absolutely gorgeous.
"Mel, that's perfect!" I exclaim. "Gosh, you're a genius!"
I cannot help but hug her. I've finally had a musical breakthrough. I cannot wait to record it.
"It's what I'm here for," she smiles, excited that I love it so much. "You wanna record it?"
The lyrics ring in my head as I walk back over to stage two. By this time, it's already eight o'clock at night, and I hope Chad is still here, though I don't exactly expect him to be.
The song really solidified everything, and I realized that I could handle it - us being over and Chad being with someone else. It will be hard, but it would be much harder living without him. I'm done putting up a fight for us, when Chad doesn't even want that battle to be won. I walk onto stage two and see the sets. One looks like a library and I'm reminded of Mackenzie Falls. Standing in that library set is Chad. It's dark and only a few lights are on.
"Think Condor will let us off early so we can catch a movie?" I ask him. He turns around to see me and looks at me quizzically.
"What are you doing?" he asks, sounding defeated as he shakes his head. His hands are in his pockets.
"Just pretending that we're still seventeen and that nothing's changed," I say with a small smile on my face, walking over towards him. "Would you believe that I met a girl who lives vicariously through us? Or at least the old us?"
"Sure, I do," he says as I come to a halt. "It was a great story to be apart of, but...it also took place a long time ago."
"I know," I say softly, looking down at the floor. "Look, I didn't come here to rehash the past." I look up at him and give him a small, reassuring smile. That takes him aback and he cocks his head to the side, urging me to go on. "I was reminded today in a...weird way...that the greatest act of love is sacrifice. That's what you do for people you care about."
I let out a heavy sigh and take his hand in both of mine. I smile at him, trying to make myself not cry. "I love you, Chad," I say with a sad smile, my voice almost breaking. I stare at his hands in mine, deeply breathe out, and continue, looking back up at him. "And I have since the moment you took me into your arms on that dance floor at my prom. And it is gonna suck," I say with a small laugh, "but if what you want is for me to let go, then I'm gonna do it. Be happy, Chad. That's all I want."
He opens his mouth to say something, but I don't want him to feel obligated to. And on top of that, I don't know if I can handle him saying anything. Instead, I bring his hand up to my lips and give it a quick kiss before dropping it and walking off.
I know that these chapters are sad so don't hate me! But again, what are your thoughts? I have SO much in store for this love story. Do you hate Chad? Do you agree with him? Are you mad at him? Are you mad at Sonny? What's your favorite part of the story so far? Also, how great of a friend is Tawni?! I always felt like in the show she was shown as very into herself, but I could always tell that she was far more caring than she let on. Anyways, let me know what you think and I'll be sure to update soon!