Chapter Ten

He should have felt intimidated by the sheer size of the house and her obviously bloated bank account, but he wasn't. She was still Carol. She still had that same wit. She had that uncanny ability to put him at ease, even when his nerves kicked up so badly he wanted to crawl out of his own skin. If it wasn't for the heavy feeling of regret in his chest and the quickening of his pulse every time she got near him, it would have felt like they had never been apart.

He should have flogged her for selling those photos too but he understood why she did it. She hadn't done it to cheapen what they had shared that night just to make a buck. She'd been desperate to have enough to take care of the kids and that was okay. He hated the thought of his bare ass floating around out there but there wasn't anything he could do about it now and it had helped her. He would be a real piece of shit if he got too mad about it. His kids had a good life because of those pictures.

She showed him the guest room that Avery never used and then she pulled him into what must have been her bedroom.

"Damn," he muttered, his eyes taking in the large space. "You gave up the hippie life and now you're livin' large. My house could fit in here. My bedroom's likely about the size of your bathroom.

"You don't have a house, remember? You gave it to your brother," she said, meeting his eyes.

"Oh yeah." He inclined his head towards the doorway. "You gonna tell'em that your taste in men was so bad at one time that you got knocked up by a man that ended up homeless?"

She laughed, and the sound had him growing still while it poured over him like a physical substance. It was strange how many memories that sound conjured in his mind. "I don't think they'd care. They would probably insist on you moving in with us. They're very giving for their age." She met his eyes and he saw the question behind the banter.

"I got a job I gotta get to in Augusta in the mornin'. That's a hell of a drive for a man with no wheels." He wanted to stay. God, he really wanted to, but he couldn't just not go to work. Russel was a good man and he deserved a notice if she really did want him to stay here with her and the kids. Not that he wouldn't make the drive. And there wasn't anything in the world that would keep him away from them now so he didn't care about the commute. He just couldn't take off on the man without a word.

"Well, I have a car and I have an SUV and there's always the..." Her eyes lit up. "I can't believe I forgot!" She grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the room, down the hall and back into the kitchen. A door off the kitchen led into a spacious laundry room and the door beyond that led to a modest two car garage.

He stopped, gaping at the site before him. "You bought your own?" He laughed.

"Of course I didn't buy my own. A paint job goes a long way. It also has a newer engine," she pulled him down the steps, "But you haven't even seen the best part."

He took in the glossy black paint job and was impressed. He couldn't believe she had kept the damn van. He'd been surprised the piece of shit had gotten her all the way to California. He was about to say as much but then she pulled open the side door, dropped his hand and crawled inside.

He stood there, gaping at her. She glanced over her shoulder and then turned so she was sitting on the mattress. Nothing about the inside had been touched. Well, that wasn't true. It was clean for the most part but still the same. The same old lumpy mattress and the same seats. Even the blankets they had stolen from the hotel was there.

He grinned and then crawled in after her. It was like a time capsule. As soon as he sat down next to her he was an eighteen year old again, running away from everything. "You kept every damn thing," he said, glancing around, unable to believe she'd kept it all.

"I did. I keep the outside clean but I don't get inside very much. It's like sensory overload in here. Not very healthy at all, which I'm sure you could understand that."

He understood. He hadn't even been able to look at the pictures that she had slipped into his bag so he imagined how hard it would have been on her with all the memories the van held. "What about now?"

She laughed and he could see how red her face was growing even in the shadowy interior of the van. "Actually, I'm letting myself remember certain things that I never let myself remember before and it's kind of embarrassing."

He was pulling his crossbow onto his lap when he suddenly looked over. "Embarrassing? The best part of my life was spent in the back of this van. We had fun."

"Well, I hadn't even known you a day and the first night we slept in here I mauled you. That was so... slutty. Not to mention I had to force you to sleep back here with me to begin with. I hate to imagine what you thought of me."

He grinned and looked away, shaking his head. "I didn't know what to think. Never been mauled before then. Or since."

She laughed. "How in the world did you manage that? You look exactly the same, except you're bigger. All this time I thought you would have girls lined up. I mean, of course, I broke you in, but I figured you would at least try to drown your sorrows in loose women," she teased.

He snorted. "Nope. Pried a few off of me thanks to Merle but that's about it." He grimaced at the memory.

"Did you think about me much?" She asked, all teasing gone.

He nodded, not looking at her. "Even though I tried like hell not to, you were about all I thought about. All the time."

"Me too," she said, her voice quiet and almost sad.

He glanced up. "It'd be hard for you not to with those two."

"I wouldn't have stopped thinking about you whether I had them or not," he said wistfully.

He stretched his legs out so they were hanging out of the van and then leaned back on his arms. "What the hell are we gonna do?"

"Stay," she said, her voice quiet and unsure.

He looked over, wanting nothing more than to tell her that he wasn't planning on going anywhere. "I gotta talk to my boss. I ain't got anything here. My brother lied to the man and bought me a few days but we're damn near finished with this job and with me gone, I ain't too sure if they'd make their deadline."

"You have a few clothes here in the van. You can drive to work tomorrow, tell your boss you quit and then get your things and come back. If you insist on working then get a job here. You have money to hold you over until you find something else."

He snorted. "I ain't got any money. Paycheck to paycheck. That's how me and Merle live."

She shook her head. "There's an account. It's yours."

He scowled and shook his head. "What the hell are you talkin' about? I ain't takin' your money. Jesus!"

She shook her head. "Those photos were of you, Daryl. I put back your cut. I've invested money these last few years and we're fine financially. I've barely spent anything other than what we've needed and then I splurged on this house and once my place out west sells, that will pay for this place. But it's our money, not just mine. You gave me every dime we had between the two of us the day you left so just look at it like that. You invested all your money and I was able to make a profit with it."

"I'll stay here tonight, drive to Augusta in the mornin' and tell Russel I'm done. But I ain't takin' your money."

"You'll stay? As in, you're going to leave Augusta and actually move in with us?" She looked like she was in a state of disbelief.

He nodded. "If you want."

"Is it what you want?"

He thought about waking up with her every morning. Watching the kids antics and being able to learn how to be a good dad to them. "Yeah. It's the only fuckin' thing I've ever wanted."

He grunted and his arms gave out, causing him to fall onto his back as she launched herself at him, crawling onto his lap.

"Are you sure?" She asked, when he sat back up, his arms locking around her waist on instinct. He swallowed hard and nodded. Yeah, he definitely felt like a teenager again. Her eyes were bright and she was grinning at him.

"If you are," he managed before her lips were on his. He hadn't been expecting it but it felt natural. It felt like it had always felt back when they had been together. It lit a fire in his blood and woke something up that had been sleeping inside of him since the moment he realized that he wouldn't ever see her again. So many years he had been resolved to live out his life in quiet misery and now it really hit him, the impact of this incredible situation really truly sinking in.

He hauled her up until she was straddling his lap, the kiss growing deep and frantic as the knowledge that this was real, that he wasn't going to wake from this, had him reeling. He couldn't get her close enough but he tried, crushing her to him as her arms locked around his neck, her fingers threading through his hair. He had missed that feeling. They had spent many nights sitting out by the lake, his head in her lap and her hands in his hair.

When she pulled away her eyes locked onto his and he was surprised to see that they were wet. She blinked and then shook her head. "I've missed you."

He nodded, unable to articulate anything at the moment. She pushed his hair out of his face and pressed her lips to his forehead and then the distinct voice of Janis Joplin started belting out 'Me and Bobby McGee" out of nowhere.

She sighed and reached for her phone that was sitting on the mattress next to them. "That's Avery. I have to get it," she muttered. "This better be good," she said by way of greeting.

He watched her roll her eyes at whatever Avery was saying and then he let go of her, leaning back on his elbows.

"No! I... he's too young for that, that's why! Don't buy him a gun!"

Daryl arched a brow at her but she just shook her head, shifting on his lap and causing the breath to leave him in a rush. He stopped paying attention to what she was saying and looked down. She was wearing a dress much like the one she'd been wearing the day he had picked her up. Short and flowey and giving him a view of her thighs since the dress was bunched up from her crawling over him.

"No I'm not naked!" She huffed and sat up further. "You're ridiculous."

Daryl tore his eyes off her thighs and looked up. She quirked a brow at him and he smirked. For some reason he felt a lot more comfortable in the van than he had felt in the house. He felt like they were more them. Inside he felt a little like an outsider, even though she had told him that she had actually had him in mind when she had bought the place.

He stopped listening to what she was saying and simply took her in like he hadn't really allowed himself to do yet. It was almost as if the last five years hadn't touched her. She still looked exactly like she had back then.

"What?" She asked, looking down at him.

He met her eyes and shrugged.

"They're on their way back. They usually run her ragged but they wanted to see you. Lily is convinced that if they stay gone too long you'll get bored and leave. Apparently they don't trust that I can keep you entertained." She leaned down then, kissing him again and this time he dropped onto his back, his hands gripping her hips.

He reluctantly broke the kiss instead of deepening it. He wanted this. Goddamn, he wanted this bad. But they needed to wait. The kids were on their way home and he didn't want the first time being with her after being away from her for five years to be a quick fuck in the back of the van. He was spending the night so it wasn't like it was going to be too bad.

She smiled, understanding in her eyes as she crawled off of him. "See," she sighed, "There I go again."

He laughed and sat up, scooting out of the van and reaching in to grab her hand. "You sure they'll be okay with this? I know they know who I am now but it's just been the three of you for their whole life. I don't make them feel weird about it."

She chewed her lip as she thought about his question and he was hoping that she wouldn't actually reconsider. "I suppose if you were just some man I was seeing, I wouldn't rush into something like this, or even bring you around them at all until I knew you well enough. But you are not, and never was, just some man I was seeing. You are their dad and they know that. This isn't something that we need to ease into and I feel like the sooner you understand how excited they are that you're finally here, the better you'll feel about it."

"I'm afraid I'm gonna be bad at this," he muttered. He hadn't even meant to say the words out loud.

She stopped, her hands going to the sides of his face. "You are going to be amazing at this and I know it."

He held her gaze for a while, saw the conviction there. There wasn't a doubt in her mind and that had him feeling a little better. "Okay. I'm gonna try like hell anyway."