"Henry why don't you go get us a few things from the vending machine to share?" Emma asked, handing him some change.
"Uhh... okay." Henry looked at Regina and then back to Emma. "What should I get?"
"You pick."
"Alright," Henry hopped out of his seat and exited the room.
The two women remained in a somewhat awkward silence for a minute, both avoiding eye contact. Emma leaned forward, arms resting against her knees.
"So I know I stopped Henry from asking you this before, but... did you really want to do it?"
"Does that even matter now?" Regina asked tiredly, "I'm still here whether I wanted to succeed or not."
"Of course it matters."
Regina sighed, she looked down towards her clasped hands. "At the time... yes. I did."
"Why?"
"Why do you think? I just... I missed Henry so much. I couldn't bear to be apart from him. I considered contacting him but... I already knew what he'd decided. I believed he didn't want anything to do with me anymore and I wasn't about to make things more difficult by trying to reach out to him again. He was gone. I needed to accept that. But... by the time I'd fully accepted that he wasn't coming home... I couldn't handle it."
Emma nodded her understanding. Her eyes softened as she watched Regina wipe the tears from her face.
"Did you know before we left that it would affect you this badly?"
Regina shook her head. "I knew it would be difficult of course, but I thought with time it would be easier. After all it was what Henry wished, and I wanted him to be happy. I thought knowing he was happy would be good enough for me."
"But it wasn't."
"No... he is everything to me. Without him I... " She trailed off.
"Be honest, were you upset when you realised David and Mary Margaret had saved your life?"
Regina wasn't looking at her. "Miss. Swan I really don't want to talk about this right now."
Emma leaned back in her chair, biting her lip in thought for a few moments.
"But seriously, what were you thinking?" Emma asked in a hushed voice.
Regina pushed herself into a more upright position.
"Excuse me?"
"Downing a bottle of pills? Did you even consider what this would do to Henry?"
"Of course I..."
"He would have been devastated. He's been blaming himself all day."
Regina said nothing in response, she felt too guilty.
"Can you imagine what it would be like for him if you'd succeeded? To have to live out the rest of his life thinking that he was responsible your death? He doesn't deserve to have to carry that with him the rest of his life."
Regina's arms crossed, as if she were protecting herself from Emma's words. Her eyes were full of anguish and she hadn't bothered to wipe away the new tears because she knew they would only be replaced with more.
"I never wanted that." Regina said quietly.
"You know, he wants to go back and live with you but I'm not so sure that's a good idea."
Regina let Emma's words sink in. Henry wanted to come back to her. "Why ever not?" She responded.
"Let's be honest Regina, I don't think you're in a good place right now. I just don't want Henry getting hurt."
"And how exactly would he get hurt?"
"If anything like this ever happened again. And let's not forget that he tried to get away from you for so long. I think moving in with me, changing schools and moving to a new city was too much for him at once. I think he just got scared. If he were to move back in with you now... it would be a bad idea. He would eventually be reminded of why he left and we're gonna have to start this thing all over again."
"So what would you suggest?" Regina said somewhat bitterly, not appreciating the fact that Emma implied that Henry's life with her had been awful.
"Don't let him change his mind."
"Are you saying you want me to tell him he can't stay?"
Emma stared back at her, "yeah."
"Well dear, that's never going to happen. I will not tell my son that he isn't welcome in his own home. Don't ever ask me to do anything like that again." Regina dared.
Emma crossed her arms. "He'll leave you again."
"You don't know that. He wanted to come back and that shows something. He chose me over you today because I am his real mother."
" Like I said, he's experiencing too many changes at once. A few months ago he came to find me and asked me to stay with him before he even knew me. He must have hated you so much that he preferred the company of a complete stranger."
Regina's mouth was hanging open slightly. Emma had hit a sensitive topic.
"Henry doesn't hate me." She said weakly, sounding as if she was trying to convince herself as much as Emma.
"Oh yeah? Then why does he call you the Evil Queen?"
Regina closed her eyes, she was starting to tremble and she couldn't control it.
"You know what he calls me right?" Emma went on. "The Saviour. I think it is pretty obvious which one of us he prefers."
Regina was shaking her head. "Stop it. What the hell is wrong with you?"
Emma went quiet, her expression changed as she realised how she was acting. She was mad because she had been so close to having Henry to herself, but it had ended all too quickly. Still, she was better than this.
The blonde heaved a sigh, "sorry that was out of line."
As she took in the sight of Regina she felt a little sympathetic for the other woman. Regina was just short of a complete wreck. Her face was covered in tears and she was shaking with silent crying. Emma had almost forgotten what she'd tried to do to herself that morning and here Emma was, making her feel worse about it. Emma had never thought she would see Regina in a state like this. The hot headed mayor who ruled the town with an iron fist, the one who never showed any form of weakness if she could help it. And yet here she was; fragile, distressed and in need of help and support. She was barely even fighting back which was very unlike her.
"You have no idea what it's like..." Regina started quietly.
"What what is like?" Emma asked, her tone now much softer than before.
"I haven't heard Henry tell me he loves me in years. Some people would say that was normal, that some children go through phases where they are distant from their parents. But with Henry... at some points he would look at me, and I felt like there was no connection between us. That was the hardest part for me... because the bond between a mother and child is supposed to be the strongest of all. My biggest fear has always been of losing him, but the harder I tried to get him to let me back in the more he pulled away. I don't know what I did wrong."
Emma was listening intently, but before she could say anything Regina continued.
"Do you know if he still loved me? When he came to find you I mean."
"Oh... I don't know Regina he never said."
Regina sniffed and she let her gaze fall to the arms still folded in front of her.
"Did he ever tell you he hated me?"
"No... One time I asked him what the deal was between you two. He said it wasn't about the two of you, it was about the curse. I'm not sure what that really means since the curse obviously isn't real but... it has to be better than the alternative right?"
Regina pursed her lips in thought.
"What is it? Does that mean something to you?" Emma asked.
"Sometimes I wonder if things would have turned out differently if I hadn't told him he was adopted."
Emma took a minute to respond. "How'd he find out?"
"I told him a few years ago, when he was six." Regina smiled, remembering how Henry had been at that age, curious about everything and so full of life. "He was asking about his father as he had a few times before, and of course, I couldn't tell him anything because I myself knew nothing about the man. I felt it was time to tell him. But maybe I was wrong."
"I think you did the right thing, it's important for him to know the truth."
Regina looked up at Emma, "but what if..."
"Okay so I got a bag of M&Ms and a bag of Gummy Bears." Henry's voice came from the doorway, getting louder as he entered the room. He stopped when he noticed their expressions, and saw the tear stained face and red rimmed eyes of his adoptive mother. "Mom are you okay? What's wrong?"
"Nothing sweetheart I'm just not feeling very well."
Henry looked to Emma who gave a sad, but reassuring smile.
"Do you think we should call Dr. Whale?" Henry asked Emma.
"No that's okay Henry," Regina answered for Emma, "I'll be fine."
"Are you sure?"
Regina nodded.
"Okay. Here Emma," Henry handed her the two bags to choose from and she took the Gummy Bears.
"Thanks Henry."
Henry took a seat, both bags of candy remained unopened.
"So umm, are you two staying in Storybrooke tonight or going back to Boston?" Regina asked.
"Staying here." Henry said quickly.
A look of relief flashed across Regina's face. "You are welcome to stay at our house if you want." She said to Emma.
"Oh, thanks I really appreciate that. But Mary Margaret said we could crash at her place so I think that's what we're gonna do."
"Well if you change your mind, the offer still stands."
"Thanks."
Regina exchanged a glance with Henry and then, realising what she must look like, dropped her gaze in an attempt to hide her face.
Henry stared at her, thinking about how unhappy she must have been after he left.
And he had once thought she didn't love him.
He had thought he didn't love her.
What would have happened to her if he hadn't changed his mind and wanted to come back? Or what if he'd waited a few more days to call? She would have died, and it would have been his fault.
Both his mothers looked over at him as they heard him sniffling.
"Henry? Are you okay?" Emma asked, moving to kneel in front of him.
He shook his head. When Emma saw him start to cry she took his hand in hers.
"What is it?" She asked softly.
Henry looked over at Regina, who too had more tears falling down her face. She was sitting up now, no longer leaning back against the pillows. She was watching the other two with concern.
"She's gonna be okay Henry." Emma whispered, running a hand through his hair.
The look that he gave Emma cut through her like a knife, he looked so heartbroken.
"Henry..." came Regina's small voice from behind them.
Emma and Henry both turned to her.
"Sweetheart come here."
Henry practically ran into her outstretched arms. She held him tightly, gasping as she tried to control her own emotions.
"Mom..."
"I know honey. It's okay."
Emma blinked back tears of her own as she sat down behind Henry, rubbing his back consolingly.
"I love you Henry." Regina whispered.
Emma's blue eyes met Regina's brown ones.
"I love you too." Henry said.
When Emma saw the happiness that spread across Regina's face in that moment, she couldn't help but give a small smile of her own.
A/N: Thank you once more for waiting so long for an update. Please review, I'd love to hear from you all!