a/n: thanks for the reviews!!! I have the next few chapters written out, but I'm trying to make sure it all fits with where I see the story going. the beginning is sort of PG-13. Nothing too bad though. Certainly not in lemon-land (yet).

The characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, I'm just borrowing them in my happy fantasy land.

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EPOV

I was losing control. I could feel it with every touch of her hand, with every parting of her lips. Her legs wrapped around my hips bringing me closer to her. My hardness pressing into her hip, she moaned. I am going to explode, I thought.

I trailed my lips to her neck, kissing every inch of it. Wanting, needing to kiss every inch of her body. Taking in her taste with my tongue, the noises coming from her mouth, the feel of her hands on my body, every second I was losing control.

This fear came over me in a wave. I didn't want to just fuck her. I didn't want her to be the next Tanya. She was married before, she has baggage to deal with. I had to give her time. I couldn't lose myself. Once I lost control there would be no stopping me. You got your second chance Edward, don't fuck it up now, I thought.

I pulled away. She looked at me with confused eyes. Her hands grabbed my shirt and pulled me closer with more urgency. I pushed back. "Bella" I said "Bella stop". It took every strength I had to get up and walk away.

There she was breathless on the couch, looking confused. "Is something wrong with me?" she cried out.

My heart sank. "You don't know how hard that was for me to stop Bella, you don't know how badly I want you right now" I panted.

"Then why are you walking away?" Bella asked. The look on her face was one of complete confusion, defeat.

"Because Bella, if I lost control, if I went forward, there would be no going back. You are better than that. I don't want to rush into something only to have you regret it. You need to deal with your feelings for James, deal with this thing we have between us. We have been drinking tonight, hell, we just met! I just don't want you to wake up tomorrow, look over at me and think 'what the fuck was I thinking'" I said. "I want to be more than that to you."

"Last time I checked I'm a grown woman capable of making my own decisions" she said, with anger rising in her voice.

There you go Edward, fucking up again, way to go man! I thought.

"Bella, it isn't that, please" I said softly, sitting next to her, running my hands in her hair. Holding her gaze for another minute. "I just don't want to rush into something and have it all fall away. I don't want you to be hurt, I couldn't live with myself if I hurt you, we have all of the time in the world, I'm not going anywhere".

Silence passed for what seemed like an eternity.

She sighed deeply. "You are right" she said "I'm sorry, I guess I just let the old hormones go a bit out of control. I mean hell, they were getting a little dusty hidden away in there. Also, for the record, I'm quite sure my first thought would be after rolling over in the morning would be 'score, I bedded Edward Cullen! Someone get me the number for Just Jared!'". Then she winked at me. I laughed. My adrenaline was starting to come down now, I was starting to relax again.

"I knew it, I just knew you were one of those star fuckers!" I giggled, wresting her under my arm and giving her a noogie.

Bella pulled away from me and her face changed and she looked at me with squinted eyes as if to pretend she was angry. "So" she said "I'm freaking starving here, is there anything in this crap town to eat?" Then smiled at me with that smile that melted my heart.

I smiled with relief. Bella. My Bella. I thought.

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a/n: sorry to be a tease, I just didn't want to jump them right into bed. I felt it lost something between them. I promised lemons though and darnit, there will be lemons eventually. Like all things, good things come to those who wait.

a/n cont: The next few chapters I think are kind of weak, so I'm going to put them up all at the same time, probably tonight or tommorrow night. I've been rewriting and rewriting and I can't come up with a good way to bridge this part to the next, so I'll just put a bunch up and hope you bear with me. Reviews are helpful, both good and bad, I'd love to know what it is I could improve on or what it is people like!