A/n: Most horrible author ever, here! So sorry about the obscene wait. (Excuses: I am in law school and am in charge of two small children.) I hope the length makes up for the hiatus somewhat. The end of the story is near.
Sesshomaru led Rin away from the servants' quarters, greatly confusing the small woman. They continued to walk closer and closer to Sesshomaru's rooms and father from the servants' quarters, making Rin a little more nervous than before.
When they arrived outside of Sesshomaru's sliding doors, he turned and pulled Rin close to his chest. "You should rest," Sesshomaru said to Rin as he gently brushed a claw through her wavy hair. "It has been a long day."
"I feel like the day's only just begun," Rin whispered back, embarrassed that Sesshomaru would openly touch her in front of Toki and two other guards. "I should go back to my room…"
"I shall guard her. Leave," he ordered the trio of guards.
"Yes, my lord," Toki replied, leading the other two others away from Sesshomaru's quarters and down the vast hallway.
"You will stay here, in my room, from now on," Sesshomaru said gently to Rin, keeping a hand on her hair. "You will be safe here."
Rin was not so sure about that, but allowed Sesshomaru to guide her through his sliding door and into his incredibly large living space. Though the sun had gone down, Rin could see the expensive flooring beneath her feet and the outlines of carpets across the room. Sesshomaru glided past her lazily after sliding the door shut behind them and lit a few candles, throwing light on the large sleeping mat, which looked unused.
Rin was staring at a nearby wall scroll when Sesshomaru appeared in her line of vision again, handing her a haori which looked much too big for her.
Rin took the white silk into her hands and inferred that he was offering it to her for sleep. She spotted the room divider next to his wardrobe and made a beeline for it to preserve her modesty, though an inner part of her mind thought that her modesty would not last much longer. When she had finished tying the haori's inner belt and draping her borrowed kimono over the divider, Rin tried in vain to slow her quickly beating heart as she peaked around the decorated wood and rice paper.
Sesshomaru stood next to his sleeping mat, his armor discarded in the corner of the room alongside Tenseiga. His golden eyes reflected the low light of the room in a flash of green, inviting her silently to come over.
Rin gave the bottom hem of the haori one last tug before coming out from behind the divider, unused to the short length of it falling just below her knees. "I'm not sure I'll be able to sleep."
"Do not be afraid," Sesshomaru said in a particularly low voice. "No one else may hurt you."
Rin stood before the demon lord, hoping he would be more verbal about what he was thinking, as he had often been while she was mute. When Sesshomaru made no other movement, Rin pulled back the heavy blankets of the bed and ensconced herself in them, thankful for the protection against the cold winter air. Rin sighed happily, allowing herself to enjoy the expensive blankets and not missing her servant's bed.
Sesshomaru took one last surveying look around the room before sitting heavily next to the sleeping mat, slyly sticking his exposed feet under mokomoko.
Rin was wondering what Sesshomaru was expecting. Well… she knew, of course. Sharing a one-room hut with your parents clues you into things pretty early in life... and the other servants talked, of course.
"Rin," Sesshomaru said pointedly, "calm down."
No doubt her heart was doing backflips. "I think it will be sometime before I can sleep, my lord."
Sesshomaru gave her a sort of huff, cluing Rin into the fact that her last statement annoyed him. "Sesshomaru."
Rin gave him a slow smile, catching onto his meaning. Before she could react, Sesshomaru's hand was on her shoulder, gently pushing her to lie down.
"You should sing then," Sesshomaru said in a tone Rin did not recognize while his eyes wandered over her face before finally meeting her eyes.
"Very well, Sesshomaru," Rin said softly, her heart still pounding away.
As she began to sing a song about a tree and a cloud, Sesshomaru's gentle hand glided downward.
Rin slept more peacefully than in anytime she could recall. The warmth of Sesshomaru at her back and his bed fought off the cold of the night and allowed her peace.
Rin's mind allowed her to dream, remembering her memories from so long ago…
It was always warm in our house. In the dead winter, when snow surrounded our house, it was never cold within the walls of my home. Mama told me that papa built it with his own hands. Papa was always warm, he would smile and laugh and sing to us all. He would teach us all songs while we all huddled around each other and ate the food mama made. Maybe that's why the house was always so warm… we kept it warm, huddled all together.
Mama told stories while she cooked. I was always listening because I didn't have much to do around our little home. Papa wouldn't let me follow him and my brothers to the field, leaving me to do menial tasks my mother bid me to do- likely so that I wouldn't wander off.
Mama told me one story more than all the others- about papa building our home. He fell in love with mama when he saw her pass by his field almost daily when mama was young. Papa said it was like she was a lovely cloud passing by him as he stayed in one spot. Mama said he was like a tree, tall and strong. He always stood in his field, tending his crops, smiling at her as she passed by. Mama added- when papa wasn't around- that she passed by his field just to see him.
To prove himself to grandpa, papa built our house with only his hands and his love for mama. Grandpa was so impressed, as the story goes, that he immediately consented to the marriage and even bought mama a beautiful formal kimono for their ceremony.
Mama told that story all the time and I never tired of it in the short time I lived with my family. Papa even made a song up about it one evening while we ate our dinner. He sang it so much that the words remain with me today. It is the song about a tree that fell in love with a cloud. It is one of my favorite songs that have grown very close to me as I've grown up away from papa.
Floating on by in the sky… the tree wishes to reach that high… the could goes away…but the tree must stay…
The kimono from mama and papa's wedding was always folded neatly up in a large chest in our hut. On very special festival days, like the harvest festival, mama would wear it. Every fall I can remember she wore it for that occasion, and every time I saw the kimono it was still just as grand, if not more, as I remembered it. The under layer was a cream white made of nicer material; nothing too expensive as my grandfather couldn't afford too much when he gave it as a gift. The outer layer was one of the most beautiful in our little town, and I swear it was when mama wore it. The outer layer was a darker red with the image of a crane- a creature of luck- sewn into its back. The matching obi was always my favorite piece for it was yellow, my favorite color. Mama always looked so beautiful during these special occasions. Papa was proud to have her as a wife and to have three sons from her/
The bandits took that kimono alongside my family and home.
After the bandits came and destroyed many homes and families in our village, I was left an orphan with no place to shelter me. The village head had been killed and his larger home burned, leaving a distasteful, greedy man to take his place. This man cared not for the great misfortune that befell our village, and cared even less for me. He gave me a sorry excuse for a shack to live in; it was right on the river where I could smell the very fish I wasn't allowed to eat and starved.
I was beaten for eating. I was beaten for living. Until, one day, the most ethereal being I had ever seen appeared across the river scooping up handfuls of water to drink.
"Hello," its voice said frailly. "Why are you such as sad little girl?"
As a child, I was shocked that someone so beautiful would talk to me and not be angry when I didn't answer. At the time, I hadn't spoken a word since my family had been killed.
I understood quite clearly that this beautiful person was an old demon, she was Lady Kasumi. Mama had often told tales of demons, but I felt that this demon would not hurt me. What more could it do that humans had not?
Lady Kasumi put two and two together and realized that I was living alone in that shack on the river and immediately offered me warm meal if I followed her.
I did.
It was the best decision of my life.
Lady Kasumi introduced herself officially after about an hour of me following her like a lost puppy. She told me that she was on her way back to her home- which I now know as the Western fortress- from buying fine silks around the surrounding villages. She stopped in the next village and bought a fine meal from a cowering vendor and graciously fed me more than I had eaten since mama had last cooked.
"Would you like to come to my home?" she asked. "I promise that you can eat all you'd like. I'll bet I can even find you a warm bed."
My answer was found in continuing following her. We walked more than I had ever dreamed. My world consisted of my home village and its surrounding fields. We walked into a whole new world and I still vividly remember the joy of exploring the forests and towns we passed through.
After a few days, we came upon the fortress. My first impression was fear. The great stone walls were taller than anything I had ever encountered and the guards were more terrifying than any tale mama wove on a dark night.
Lady Kasumi took me into the fortress and I followed her footsteps as closely as I could in the expansive hallways and rooms. She led us to great sliding doors that belong to Lady Susumu and we were ushered in by the two demon guards on either side.
Lady Kasumi bowed before Susumu, who sat on her great throne surrounded with more wealth than my entire village had ever seen. It is strange to think that years later Sesshomaru confessed his mutual love for me on that very throne.
I stood stock-still, unsure of what to do and awed by the presence of so many obviously powerful demons.
Lady Kasumi offered up her procured silks and waited for the approval of Susumu. After her lady had consented, Lady Kasumi then calmly asked if she could take me, the cowering human girl, as an apprentice within the fortresses' walls.
"Make sure the girl causes no trouble," was all the permission Susumu gave, and the guideline I kept in the forefront of my mind throughout my early years in the fortress.
Lady Kasumi thanked Susumu generously and took my hand to leave the throne room. She led me to the servants' quarters and into the room I called my own for all of my years as a servant.
She immediately began teaching me everything she knew about kimonos. A couple of other servants sewed the fine silks, but not without the clear supervision from Lady Kasumi, and later on, me. She taught me how to clean the kimono, kosode, and obi. Most importantly, she taught me how to dress ladies no matter their shape or colorings. Lady Kasumi herself had water-colored hair and grey eyes, and often told me that she would be my greatest and final test to dress.
The day after I had been brought to the fortress, I met the demon that would change my childhood. I met Toki, the burgeoning water-demon guard who made my time as a servant happy.
I was carrying a cleaned kimono back to Lady Susumu's chambers when I tripped on an unexpected step and ripped a small seam on the hem of the kimono. The way Toki remembers the incident: I was on the verge of tears and panicking, albeit silently, when he came across me in the hallway leading up to Susumu's rooms.
"It's alright, little girl," he said very sweetly with a welcoming smile on his face. He tells me that when he saw the bruises on my face, the only remainder from my time in my old village, he instantly felt a need to protect me.
I cried upon hearing his words- they were kind and his voice sounded like my father's. I was also scared at the time- I was only allowed to stay if I didn't cause trouble, and yet I had ripped a kimono that looked more expensive than what my life was worth.
"It's okay! It's okay… I won't hurt you, I promise," he said to me, lifting my underweight body from the silk and setting it next to the kimono. He later told me that he thought that he had scared me. "Look, I can fix this…" he said as he searched around his haori's breast for something. "There!" he said in satisfaction, "I'll just fix this little rip and nobody will know but us, okay?" Toki pulled the rip back together with a minimal stitch with his handy needle and thread.
I bowed to him as low as I could manage after seeing him fix the situation, the only way I could thank him.
Toki laughed at me and pulled me up, gently setting the kimono in my outstretched arms. "Go on straight ahead, little girl. If you get into anymore tight spots, just call for me, okay? My name is Toki."
With that, I delivered that kimono to Susumu's rooms; it was never discovered to have a ripped hem.
The next night there was to be a grand celebration in the fortress. Lady Kasumi told me the reason was that Lord Sesshomaru, the son of Susumu, was coming home.
This had no meaning for me at the time other than that we would be running around doing various chores until Susumu called to be dressed for dinner.
I was running to the garden under Lady Kasumi's direct order to get a complementary flower for Susumu's hair when I happened upon one of the gate's regular guards. This guard was one that I had seen the day of my arrival and had scared me with just a glace in my direction. I saw him, and took an unusual route to the garden through a hallway I had never seen before. I didn't want to turn around out of fear that I would run into the guard again, so I kept wandering frantically until I came across an open door to a room I had never seen. I went in, hoping that I could find someone kind enough to give me direction or to call for another servant to lead me away.
One of the deepest, smoothest voices I had ever heard startled me when I took a few steps into the room. "Who are you?"
I gulped and took a step back before realizing that the beautiful demon before me did not wish me harm. He was annoyed, I know now, but had no intention of hurting me or eating me for a snack, as I thought the scary guard might do.
I looked at him and instantly knew he was Susumu's son and bowed before him, hoping that I hadn't offended him.
"You have been asked a question. Answer," he stated, finally catching my brown eye, the other was still bruised from the last beating from the villagers, with his golden eyes rimmed with magenta. He seemed to accept that I didn't speak after a minute of silence and looked me over. I had been given a bath and new working yukata since my arrival, but I still suffered the bruises and sported unbound hair.
"You are lost," he deduced. He stood from behind his desk and walked toward me and the exit. As he passed I noticed that I did not even reach his hip in height. He went out to the hallway and I did not hesitate to follow him. He led me to the kitchen, a place I could easily navigate, and disappeared without further ado.
I carried on with my mission to fetch a flower, but all of my thoughts were consumed with Sesshomaru.
I brought the flower to Susumu's chambers and watched intently as Lady Kasumi directed the other maids in dressing Susumu. The only part of the ritualistic dressing I ever saw Kasumi truly participate in was tying the obi. She always tied the various knots, whether they adorned Susumu's backside or her own, she was always particular with the obi's knot. It took many years before Lady Kasumi even let me try to tie an obi's knot in my apprenticeship with her.
We proceeded to the formal dinner, the first I had ever attended. Lady Kasumi kept me close by her side and I never felt stranger than I did during that first formal dinner. I watched with the other maids and guards as the worthy guests and host ate their expensive meats and finely cooked dishes. I never saw a true teacup until that night.
They spoke of things I mostly did not understand, but it mattered little. I was so captivated with thoughts of Sesshomaru- I was curious of him and his nature. When Susumu excused herself, I was pulled along Kasumi to the tedious undressing of the fortress's lady regent. Lady Kasumi always took great care in explaining to me during these early years the importance of both dressing and undressing the high class ladies in the fortress. With Kasumi's guidance, I became a favored servant in Susumu's house.
After being dismissed, Kasumi and I were headed back to our shared room when Kasumi encouraged me to take a walk to calm down before bed.
I gladly took her advice, I liked to be outdoors more than indoors, and made my way to a small grove of trees Kasumi had shown me the day before. To my delighted surprise, Sesshomaru was sitting on a bough of one of the tall trees, seeming to trace the stars with his eyes.
"Where did you get those bruises?" he asked, not even moving his eyes from the dark sky.
I smiled at his question- Sesshomaru noticed me without anger!
"What are you smiling about? I simply asked a question… I don't care, I'm just curious," he said quite softly after glancing at my silly smile, which only made me smile wider.
I knew after that encounter that I did not admire anyone else in the world as much as I admired Sesshomaru. This childish admiration, of course, turned into love shortly after I turned fifteen.
The fortress still did not know my name a month after my arrival with Lady Kasumi. I had kept silent for the most part; the only sound I had allowed to pass my lips was a small laugh, usually because of the antics of Toki.
This changed one day when I was watching the perfumes scent Lady Susumu's kimonos on a sunny afternoon. Jaken, the green impish demon that acted as a sort of assistant to Sesshomaru came across the highly-scented area and started squawking at me for the smell. I stood, helpless, as the green imp squawked as loud as he could about the smell and the fact that I was a scrawny scrap of human scum.
Jaken was silenced by a rock perfectly shot into the back of his head, knocking over his short body.
"Jaken," Sesshomaru called from a few paces away.
Jaken immediately righted himself and bowed to Sesshomaru, apologizing for anything and everything he could have possibly done to deserve such a punishment.
I thought it was funny and smiled at the situation and the straight face Sesshomaru managed to keep.
Sesshomaru silenced the obscenely short demon with: "Leave."
After Jaken had scurried away, Sesshomaru began to follow at a slow pace, satisfied that he had spared me from Jaken. I quickly said as clearly as I could muster with my unused voice, "Lord Sesshomaru!"
Sesshomaru turned his head in my direction and waited a moment for me to continue.
"Thank you," I said and offered a bow.
Sesshomaru nodded before turning on his heel to walk away.
Rin was in a comfortably warm sleep when she was startled by the sounds of movement in the room. It didn't really faze her- sound was a normal thing in the morning around the servants' quarters. But… Rin was not in the servants' quarters. She was in Sesshomaru's room. She was in Sesshomaru's bed. Naked.
"Good morning, sleepy Rin!"
Rin curled into the sheets, wondering where her demon space heater had gone and why she was being woken up by such loud voices.
"Move aside," Rin heard Susumu's voice command.
Rin peaked and eye open to find Susumu, along with five of her fellow servants, watching her intently.
"Why are you watching me?" Rin asked shyly, realizing she had nothing to shield her from six pairs of eyes but the silk blankets.
"Dear, you did it!" Susumu exclaimed, using her nose to find the truth. Rin was finally her daughter through mating. Though, to Susumu's utter disappointment, she did not yet smell of grandpups.
Rin wrapped the silk blankets around her shoulders and sat up to ask, "Where's Lord Sesshomaru?"
"He's gone to the training field," one of Rin's friends replied with the same silly smile as Susumu and the others. "He's been practicing with the half-breed and Prince Kouga for most of the morning."
Rin was a little saddened by this as she was expecting to wake up with Sesshomaru after their first night together, but the occupants of the room took no notice. Rin tried to not let it hurt her; maybe demons just didn't behave like humans did when in love.
"Come, let us get you dressed for the day," Susumu said, pulling Rin up out of the bed with her sheet as a makeshift dress. "I brought a couple of my kimonos for you to choose between… I'll have to send Jaken to buy your own new wardrobe…" Susumu mused aloud to Rin as the other maids pulled the sheet protecting the last of her modesty away and dressing her in a plain under robe.
"My lady… what does all this mean? For my place here…" Rin asked Susumu hesitantly. The question had been sitting on her mind since she woke up in the throne room the day before. "I do not want to assume that anything has changed…"
Susumu stopped her pacing and thinking and looked at Rin's confused look. She replied, "Everything has changed, my dear. You are no longer a mere human- no longer a servant to this house. Once you have been mated in the official ceremony, even your name shall change. That ceremony, I'm afraid, will have to wait until this whole Naraku business is taken care of," Susumu finally took a pause to breathe before continuing, "Until then, we can plan for a large ceremony to be the envy of every lord on the continent!"
Rin was a little taken aback from all the information, and a little scared. She never thought that the fruition of her admiration for Sesshomaru would come to all this.
"I have breakfast for you," one of the maids said as she came through the sliding doors carrying a tray filled with more food than Rin could ever eat in one morning and a fragrant tea.
Rin almost cringed as one of her fellow servants tied the obi, but figured Susumu wouldn't have her dressing herself. So Rin ignored it as best she could and sat as daintily as she deemed necessary once dressed to sip on her tea with Susumu and eat a few mouthfuls of food.
"Dear," Susumu interrupted Rin's half-hearted bite of a bean bun, "Why are you downtrodden? This is a happy morning."
Rin looked embarrassed enough for Susumu to wave the others in the room out before looking for a verbal answer.
Rin figured she wouldn't be getting away without answering, so she tried very hard to convey her strange feelings. She had expected to wake up next to Sesshomaru, to be together after sharing everything she had to offer. Even if it was selfish or human of her… Sesshomaru did have important things on his mind other than her...
Susumu seemed a tad shocked at this, she wasn't very versed in the love-life of humans, but tried to understand the practices of humans before telling Rin, "In all my time mated to Sesshomaru's father, I only woke up in the same bed as him a few times and that is usually because I woke up first. I feel that his father never stayed around Inuyasha's mother either unless she asked him to.
"If this is something you want to happen, this waking up to him in the same bed, you should ask for it head-on. Like how you confronted Sesshomaru about your love for him. Men, my dear, are clueless and will not know what you want unless you ask for it."