AN: Hello, my lovelies! Didja miss me?

And, I know I'm super late, I have no excuse, except that the Akatsuki are freaking hard to write. Yes, you heard me, the much anticipated Akatsuki appear in this chapter! Can I hear some noise for that?!

*cricket cricket*

...Fine. Sheesh. Anyway, just to let you all know, I have a new story up, called Glue, and it's a totally different approach from VINTA. Regardless, if you enjoy Team Seven x Sakura, and don't mind copious amounts of angst, please do look it up!

Also, thanks for all your reviews! In addition, a shoutout to kukumalu01, because GOM, girl, you're the best, I love you!

Enough rambling, ON WITH THE STORY!

In disclaimer eleven,

for a glimpse of heaven,

I might claim I owned Naruto,

but we both know,

...that would just be me showing my obsession.

"talking in Japanese"

'thinking'

'Inner Sakura'

(translation from Japanese to English)

Violence Is Not The Answer

Chapter Eleven

Into the Lair of the Akatsuki

Zetsu stared at the comatose form of the human-flower blankly. Maybe she wasn't getting enough sun? No, that couldn't be right, she had fainted right in the middle of the clearing, and Zetsu had made sure that this area got enough sun so his precious daffodils could flourish… Black Zetsu snapped at White Zetsu for digressing, since that wasn't important. What was important was that this girl was trespassing, and they both knew what happened to trespassers.

They get brought before The Boss.

Sakura stirred slightly, and groaned as memories of what had happened assaulted her.

'Did I really just… faint? Please, tell me I didn't…' Sakura whined mentally. How could she face anyone after this?! She'd just swooned like one of those pansies she was always laughing at!

'Yep, you did! You dropped like some innocent maiden who watched the opening scene of Icha Icha Paradise: The Movie!' Inner exclaimed gleefully, taking far too much pleasure in Sakura's humiliation.

'If I recall correctly, Inner, so did you, you… damsel who just got rescued by prince charming!' Sakura tried to come up with an adequate insult, and failed spectacularly.

'Pfft,' Inner swatted Sakura's rather pathetic rebuttal away as if it were a fly.

As they both concentrated on the matter at hand, they realised they were suspended in mid-air, as Zetsu was carrying Sakura under his arm like a sack of potatoes – well, not really, Zetsu would definitely treat a sack of potatoes much better, they were some plant's season's worth of work, after all!

Anyway, they were in what looked like a study, or an office, and were facing a desk. Behind this desk was a chair, swivelled such that it faced the window behind the desk, its back conveniently facing them, presumably hiding the person seated on it from view.

"Who is this?" An ominous, and slightly familiar voice sounded from the person seated on the chair.

"I found her trespassing in the garden," White Zetsu droned.

"Oh? That's not good. There are consequences for trespassing on our land, little girl," The voice sounded again, as lightning flashed and thunder rumbled in the background (which was truly a feat, because Sakura swore it had been bright and sunny a few seconds ago). The chair turned around slowly, creaking forebodingly, and long black hair slowly fluttered in a non-existent breeze as the face of the mystery person was revealed, his fingertips pressed together in front of him like the evil mastermind he was, above which red eyes glowed like those of a demon-

"Sakura-chan?!" Madara gasped in surprise and delight, his previous fear-inducing pretense shattering into itty bitty pieces as he caught slight of the pinkette, still tucked under Zetsu's arm, arms and legs swinging slightly.

"Madara-sensei…" Sakura acknowledged. She vaguely remembered Shikamaru saying that he was the teacher-in-charge of the Akatsuki. Huh.

"Zetsu! What are you doing?! Put Sakura-chan down right this instant, you… you barbarian!" Madara demanded, jumping over the desk indignantly, ready to defend the honour of his One True Love.

Zetsu stared at him blankly for a while, before releasing Sakura gently, placing her back down onto the ground on her feet. However, he was frowning.

"That's not very nice, Madara-sama. I may be a cannibal, but I am definitely not a barbarian. There's a difference, you know…" White Zetsu's mellow voice sounded, traces of hurt evident in his tone. However, Sakura did a double take when Zetsu's mouth opened again, clearly forming words, but a gravelly, somewhat sinister and pissed off sounding voice sounded, "Anyway, we brought her here on your fucking orders, dipshit, so if anything, her manhandling is your fucking fault."

'No way…' Sakura thought, amazed.

'…Lip sync/dub?!' Inner completed her sentence.

However, after a while of observing the two(three?)-way conversation between Madara and Zetsu, in which Zetsu alternated between swearing up a storm and being practically on the verge of tears, while Madara tried to prevent what seemed to be the imminent tantrum, Sakura realised that Zetsu wasn't actually lip-syncing one of his voices. He really, truly, had two voices and what seemed to be two personalities. This should have endeared him to Sakura, since there was that whole saying about birds of a feather, however, the image of zombie-Zetsu was still stuck firmly in her mind, which meant that, unfortunately for him, Zetsu remained under the 'run-away-screaming' category in Sakura's mental catalogue, right beside Orochimaru and that creepy old dude at the hospital who kept hitting on Sakura whenever she went there for medical training with Tsunade.

Seriously, the nerve of old people… she hoped peanuts got stuck in his dentures.

'Though,' Inner pointed out, 'Plantman's actually not that scary, if you discount our first meeting. Give the guy some credit, at least his face is pretty cute!'

'Alright, fine, so maybe it's a little bit cruel to lump him with the old man. He gets promoted to the 'try-not-to-be-with-alone' category. Happy?' Sakura mentally pouted petulantly.

'…I'd be happier if you pounced on Madara… or Zetsu… or both!' Inner leered at said people, who were still engrossed in their conversation and so seemed to be ignoring Sakura. 'Or at least give me control of our body so I can do the pouncing!'

'No.' Sakura replied flatly.

'Aww… why?' Inner whined.

'Just… No.'

With impeccable timing, Madara realised that he had been ignoring his Angel, his Light, his Reason for Living (since he met her three hours ago) just as the conversation between Sakura and Inner Sakura ended. Gasping dramatically, he flashed to her side, hugging her and spewing apologies even as she squirmed uncomfortably. A thought abruptly occurred to him, and he couldn't resist asking, "Sakura-chan... not that I'm not happy you're here, but why exactly are you here?"

Sakura finally managed to wrestle herself away from Madara's arms so she could take a breath, replying, "Ah, I just wanted to walk around and clear my head a little, it's been quite hectic today and so many things have happened. Also," She added somewhat abashedly, "Pein-san gave me permission to visit the club grounds, and since it was so beautiful, I thought it would help me do so. Which it did, I suppose, until I tripped over Zetsu-san. Sorry about that, by the way…" She tacked on, glancing at Zetsu.

'So long-winded and diplomatic,' Inner groused. 'We're not cut out for this!' She continued to grumble about how Sakura was always so polite, though the both of them could not care less about such things. Sakura, being very used to occurrences such as these, ignored Inner easily. She guessed that rants of this nature was only natural, since Inner was an entity formed from the suppression of what she really felt and thought, though she was sure that Inner's personality had deviated somewhat along the way, because she was sure as hell not as perverted as Inner.

Inner sputtered indignantly.

As this occurred, Madara came to the decision that since Sakura was so obviously down, she could not be allowed to be alone, though he was unable to join her, due to the huge pile of work that needed to be done. He scowled fiercely at the stack of papers on his desk. Stupid Senju woman, she was always making his life miserable by making sure he marked his students' assignments, and did his paperwork, despite her renowned aversion to her own paperwork. If only he hadn't lost that challenge to her, he'd have been the principal instead! He allowed himself a brief moment of self-pity, before returning to the matter at hand, which concerned who would accompany Sakura for the rest of the lunch break. Making a snap decision and dearly hoping he wouldn't regret it, he turned to Zetsu, who immediately straightened as he sensed the change from Madara-the-idiot-teacher to Madara-the-unofficial-leader-of-the-Yakuza.

"Zetsu, take Sakura to meet the others."

Zetsu raised an eyebrow, but nodded his head in what could be seen as a slight bow as he replied, "Hai."

Sakura found herself staring incredulously at the other members of the Akatsuki. Whatever she had been expecting, it definitely hadn't been this.

Six other members of the Akatsuki were present on the rooftop of the classroom building, apparently a favourite haunt of the Akatsuki, (according to Zetsu, there were supposed to be two more members, but they were engrossed in an… art competition, or something? She couldn't really make out the rest of what he grumbled under his breath…). Of these six, plus Zetsu, two things were glaringly obvious.

One, they all wore the black-and-red Akatsuki cloak, albeit in varying ways, and two…

They were all devastatingly, though sometimes unconventionally, beautiful.

Zetsu, as earlier established, had rather pleasing features once one looked past the abnormal colouring and the plant thing attached to him. As he proceeded to introduce them to her, she silently evaluated them.

Pein, also as earlier established, was intimidatingly handsome, and he nodded to Sakura when he was introduced, saying, "We've already met." This caused Zetsu to blink in mild surprise before moving on to introduce Konan.

Konan was, in a nutshell, a cool beauty. From her facial expression, to the origami flower elegantly tucked into her shoulder-length blue hair, to the way she stood, she possessed an aura that said, rather simply, 'Mess with me and die'. She was, like Pein, able to pull off piercings with seemingly little effort, though she only had one stud just below her lower lip, against Pein's twenty-six, her elegant features striking and unforgettable. Her proximity to Pein implied that the two were close, and there seemed to be an air of familiarity between the two of them, though they weren't even talking or looking at each other.

'Aw man, Pein's already taken,' Inner pouted, upset. Sakura refused to acknowledge the pang of disappointment that she felt, as well.

The next person Zetsu introduced was Kakuzu. He flicked bloodshot, yet beautifully shaped moss green eyes in her direction, his striking profile highlighted from his position of sitting sideways on the very edge of the roof, the swaths of material around his neck seeming to be a (now discarded) hood and mask, as he brushed shoulder length back dark hair from his face, bringing attention to the stitch tattoos present on his face and most of his body that she could see, his cloak a puddle of cloth at his feet.

"Who the fuck is this bitch?!"

Before Zetsu could introduce the next member, he spoke. Loudly. And rudely. While getting in Sakura's face.

As Madara had earlier discovered, getting into Sakura's personal bubble was not wise, mostly because she tended to react violently to such things. Disconcerted with the person's abrupt and loud appearance, Sakura immediately shifted her weight and landed a solid punch to the guy's abdomen (because damn, she was short, and she couldn't reach his face), even as Inner practically frothed at the mouth from being called a 'bitch'.

Disturbingly, said recipient of the punch did not cringe, even as he stumbled back from its impact. No, instead of grimacing or even saying 'Ow' like a normal person, he moaned. In pleasure.

'…The fuck? Why the hell are the people in Akatsuki so fucking fucked up?!' Inner yelled, flustered despite herself, as Sakura backed away and blushed slightly, wiping her fist against her uniform.

'…I feel like I've contracted cooties…' Sakura confided quietly, feeling traumatised. Of all the reactions she's seen or been on the receiving end of, this was the one that caught her the most off guard.

It didn't help that he was good-looking too; slicked back silver hair had been mussed slightly, falling into a face that possessed conventionally handsome features, that currently sported one of the most charming grins she'd ever seen.

"Damn, bitch, do that again!"

…And the illusion shattered, as the silver-haired masochist's foul language ruined whatever good impression Sakura had gained.

"This is Hidan," Zetsu's monotonous voice cut through, his facial expression barely changing despite Sakura's rather surprising display earlier. Likewise, Pein and Konan had simply raised eyebrows in identical expressions of muted surprise, and Kakuzu had only rolled his eyes at Hidan's idiocy.

"And moving the fuck on, this is Itachi and Kisame. Introductions ended." Zetsu announced, gesturing vaguely to the remaining two members, who had been waiting patiently for their turn in the introductions.

As Sakura laid eyes on Itachi, she immediately knew that he was related to Sasuke and Madara, but thankfully managed to restrain Inner's reaction of pointing fingers and loud exclamations of his relation to tiny, high-pitched and annoying canines, in favour waving in their direction slightly awkwardly.

Itachi, who looked handsome enough to be a supermodel, despite the stress lines on his face, inclined his head to her, while Kisame, who was big and blue, laughed a booming laugh that displayed his sharp teeth.

"Hey, pinky," He grinned.

Sakura examined his blue skin, gills and strong, even features for a few seconds (while Inner drooled over his well-defined muscles), before grinning at him in return.

"Hi!" She chirped. She paused, before, "Erm… do you think I could as you a question?"

Kisame, suspecting it was going to be something along the lines of 'Why are you blue?' or 'Is your mommy a shark?', sighed somewhat disappointedly but signalled for her to go ahead.

"Have you ever considered that with your height, hanging out on the school rooftop is just like signing up to be struck by lightning?"

Kisame blinked in surprise, before another booming laugh escaped him, further endearing him to Sakura, because to be honest, the rest of the Akatsuki members she'd met were rather… emotionless, with the exception of Madara, and it was starting to grate on her nerves. "Well, not really, but even I know not to be in the open when there's a storm," he chuckled.

"Okay, that's good, because, you know, I noticed that the rooftop is actually off limits, according to the student handbook, and one of the reasons is because students on the rooftop have a tendency to be struck by lightning…" Sakura rambled slightly, faltering under the combined gaze of the other six people present.

"Regardless, Zetsu, why did you bring her here?" Pein asked, brows furrowed slightly in confusion. Zetsu was never what people would consider social, preferring the company of plants to people.

"Madara's orders. He wanted us to keep her company for the rest of lunch break, after I found her in the gardens."

After Zetsu's brief explanation, Konan walked up to Sakura, who had to crane her neck slightly to look up at the older girl.

"So this is the girl who you were talking about, Nagato," Konan said, tilting her head to the side as she observed Sakura.

'Who's Nagato?' Inner Sakura and Sakura were both puzzled, until Pein responded with an 'Aa.'

Konan hummed thoughtfully as she continued to look at Sakura. "Hey," she said, "Do you like origami?"

"Um, I like it, but I only know how to fold cranes…" Sakura said hesitantly. She never really had the patience to learn all the different origami forms, not to mention the origami paper always ended up being crushed into an unrecognizable ball of pulp since she kept underestimating her own strength.

"Well, that'll do, I guess." Konan announced, before her aloof demeanor melted and she smiled beautifully. "Pein, I approve of her. You two will make a cute couple."

"…Eh?" Sakura asked, confused, not only for the suddenness, but also because she couldn't see how she, a pink-haired midget, who looked the epitome of a good girl, would make a good couple with the gangster-looking, intimidating, dark Pein. "…I thought you two were together!" She blurted, pointing between the two of them.

"No, we're childhood friends. After seeing him killing fluffy animals, parade around in his underwear, picking his nose, and a whole plethora of other things, it's really hard to be attracted to him," She said, "Besides, look at that face... Are you kidding me?"

Sakura turned to look at Pein, taking in his rather above average, piercing laden looks, not seeing the problem. He raised an eyebrow in response.

"I'm not going to date some loser who's more attracted to a magnet than he is to me."

Sakura took a minute to process this before doubling over in laughter.

AN2: Aaaand that's that! Leave a review!

Please excuse any mistakes, I was too excited to post this, and I have work tomorrow.

XOXO

Ice