She didn't panic, no Felicity Smoak did not- lie. She did panic and in a big way. HOLY CRAP SHE WAS PREGNANT! How did this happen? Well...obviously she knew how it had happened...she flushed just thinking about. Oh how nice that had been.
"What the heck Felicity. You just found out you're pregnant and you're thinking about that? Stop it!" She exclaimed aloud, her voice sounding slightly hysterical.
Oh isn't this just the most irresponsible thing she had EVER done. She started taking deep breaths and started to jump around trying to relive some of her anxiety. Wait... she stopped jumping. She was pregnant, she shouldn't jump around... right? She had no idea what she was doing. She sat down on the couch and put her head in her hands. How was she going to take care of a baby? She couldn't even keep a goldfish alive in college.
What if it came out looking like Oliver? Then everyone would know.
What if she was a horrible mother?
What if she miscarried?
What if Oliver finds out and wants nothing to do with her? No, Oliver wouldn't do that. But he still might kick you out of the foundry.
What if, what if, what if.
"Calm down Felicity. You're fine. You are completely one hundred percent fine."
What did she do now?
"Google!" She exclaimed loudly to the empty room and ran and practically jumped on the couch like a monkey. "Oh, sorry little one. Didn't mean to do that."
She Googled for a long time but the only thing she learned was that she was scared. Why did she look all that stuff up?
"Oh my gosh," she threw her tablet on the couch. "I'm one of those people that look up their symptoms and think they're dying..."
She stood up and walked around the room.
"Get it together, think. What should you do now?" She asked herself. "Doctor. Obviously you should go to the doctor." She found her phone and dialed the office she went to for her check ups which she usually missed most of the time anyways. She explained that she thought she was pregnant and wanted to be one hundred percent sure. The nurse sensing her urgency asked her if she could be there in an hour because someone had just canceled an appointment. She said yes. She dressed quickly in a pair of jeans, a loose red top and her panda flats. She needed comfort today and if her Panda's could give her that then she didn't care what people thought about her fashion sense. She threw her hair back in a ponytail, googled if she could take nausea medicine, found she could and took one of the pills, ate a piece of toast and was soon out the door.
She arrived at the office and checked in and not very long after they called her back. "Felicity Smoak?"
"That's me!" She called then ducked her head as people turned to look at her.
The nurse led her down a long hallway and into a room where she took her blood pressure, temperature and pulse, all of which were high due to her anxiety. She also took some of her blood. The Nurse asked if she had any concerns and she told her "Just the fact that I might be pregnant." She had just nodded and started typing away before she left the room with a 'The Doctor will be in shortly.' Felicity had sat there in the hard chair for what seemed like hours when in reality it had only been forty five minutes when the Doctor entered.
"Hi Felicity, I'm Dr. Matthews." The doctor reached out her hand and Felicity took it.
"Thank you for seeing me."
"Of course," Dr. Matthew's said as she sat down on her stool and started going through her file. "Well... looks like congratulations are in order. You are indeed pregnant Ms. Smoak." She already knew but it still felt like a shock to her system. She sat there gaping at the Doctor. "I take it that it wasn't planned?" She shook her head numbly. "You have options. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. There's abort-"
She cut her off. "Excuse me, but are you suggesting that I abort my baby?"
"Well I assumed since you hadn't planned it."
"No, just because I didn't plan this doesn't mean I would kill my baby. What kind of Doctor are you?" She asked incredulously.
"Calm down Ms. Smoak, I didn't mean to upset you. Of course you want to keep your baby. I will do everything in my power as a doctor to help you do so healthily."
She took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. I usually don't have outburst like that."
"It's perfectly fine, you have a lot on your mind and you're no where near the worst that I've seen."
"Thank you. So...what's the next step?"
"We need to figure out your due date. Few women know this but do you have any idea when you conceived?" That gave her pause. Yes she did. That day was seared into her memory.
"October 3rd," she stated.
"Oh... that's good, lets see...that means you're about six weeks pregnant. It's still a little early to do a ultrasound but we'll set you up with an appointment five weeks from now and get you some prenatal vitamins. Other than that try to eat a healthy diet and avoid unnecessary stress."
She couldn't help but chuckle a little at that. If only she knew that the unavoidable stress she endured everyday was to help protect the city.
"You'll be experiencing symptoms like extreme fatigue, breast tenderness, increase in acne, changes in appetite, nausea, possibly accompanied by vomiting."
"Oh I've already found that out."
"Make sure you stay hydrated and that you eat. I know it's hard when you're feeling so sick but it's important that the baby receives proper nourishment to be healthy." She closed the folder. "Any questions?"
"None that Google hasn't already answered."
"Then I'll see you in a few weeks Ms. Smoak, if you have any concerns please contact us and again, Congratulations."
She was still in disbelief as she walked out of the doctors office hand full of pamphlets and vitamins in a daze. She was ashamed of the way she had yelled at the doctor but even though she hadn't planned this baby just the thought anything happening to it...it was unthinkable. This was her baby. Oliver's baby, they had created it together and she would do whatever...what ever was necessary to keep it safe.
She started to understand what Moira had done to protect her children from Malcolm. How was it possible to love someone she hadn't even met yet? To be willing to do unimaginable things to keep them safe. She hoped she would never be one that would sacrifice five hundred people for her children but the feeling rising in her chest now could only be describes as determination...to do whatever it took to keep the ones she loved save.
As she laid in bed that night hand resting on her stomach she couldn't believe it. She was creating a life. Sure it was crazy but it was the most amazing feeling in the world. Six Weeks, she was six weeks pregnant. The baby was only the size of a pomegranate seed but the nose, mouth and ears she knew she would spend a lot of time kissing were already developing.
She closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep. That night she dreamt of a blue eyed baby boy that looked just like his father.
The next thing she knew she was being woken up by a pounding noise. She rolled over and reached her hand out searching blindly for the alarm clock but only succeeded with knocking things from her nightstand into the floor. She groaned and opened her eye when the noise didn't stop. She finally became fully conscious and realized it wasn't her alarm making the noise. Someone was pounding on her door. Crawling out of bed she exited her bedroom and went to open the front door. When she did Digg was standing there holding a bag of food.
"I brought breakfast." The smell wafted of eggs and bacon wafted from the bag and her stomach turned. She covered her mouth. "You okay?"
"Uh, yeah," she opened the door further and he let himself in.
"I figured you'd be hungry after yesterday."
She had called him in the afternoon and and told him she had been sick all day but was alive. Digg must have talked to Oliver because he had sent her a text later that evening.
O: Hope you're feeling better, let me know if you need anything.
She had text him back a little bit later, after thinking over her response.
F: Thanks, I am. I'll be into work tomorrow. Can't let the temp ruin my computer.
O: Don't rush back.
O: Not that I don't want you to rush back...
O: Cause I do. I just want you to feel better, I don't want you to push yourself.
F: I'm usually the one talking in sentence fragments. It's nice being on the other end for a change. I think that's the most I've heard you say that wasn't related to 'you know what.'
F: And by 'you know what' I mean what we do at night outside of work...
F: Not that we do anything outside of work...at night. Cause we're not like that.
F: Crap, now I'm babbling over text. Kill me please.
O: Can't do that, it's too hard to find a good IT girl. Besides if I was going to kill you I would have done it a long time ago. You know too much.
She'd laughed. That was his attempt at a joke right? It was practically impossible to tell when he was trying to make one.
F: You're joking right? You wouldn't have actually killed me... right?
O: No Felicity. I could never purposely hurt you.
F: Okay, that's good. Uh well I guess I'll see you tomorrow. Good Night.
O: Good night Felicity.
O: Oh and I didn't get a temp. So your computers are safe.
F: How thoughtful of you. I've trained you well. Not that you're a dog...cause you're obviously not.
O: Go to sleep Felicity.
"How are you feeling," asked Digg as he laid out the food on the counter.
"Better," she replied while trying to breathe through her mouth to avoid the smell. The burritos he had gotten them looked delicious but the thought of actually having to eat one made her cringe. She was feeling fine this morning but dreaded that the food would come back to haunt her at a later time.
"Good, I'm glad I decided to come over early. I figured you'd forget to set your alarm."
"Crap! I forgot! Today's the annual board meeting." She rushed to the living room and went through the files scattered across the coffee table and found the one that Oliver needed to sign before the meeting.
"What do you want to drink?" Digg asked from the kitchen.
"Orange juice," she called back.
"No coffee today?"
"No I'm still a little sensitive with smells." He poured her a glass from the jug in her fridge and placed it and the plate of food on the coffee table where she had stacked the files and placed them on the corner. "How's Lyla?"
"She's doing fine. We got to spend the whole day together yesterday but Waller called her in for debriefing early this morning."
Felicity bit into her burrito and sighed. It tasted heavenly. After she finished she wiped her mouth.
"I'm going to get ready for work," she said to Digg before she slipped from the room.
She brushed her teeth, showered, did her makeup and straightened her hair and moved to her closet to get dressed, she picked a white polka dot shirt and a black pencil skirt. She slipped on the skirt but couldn't get it zipped. "What the-? Are you kidding me? This is my favorite skirt."
She looked at herself in the mirror before turning to make sure the door was closed then returned her gaze to the glass. She ran her hand over her still flat stomach and imagined what she would look like in a couple months. Looking sadly at her closet of tight dresses and skirts she sighed. "Oh well, you'll be worth it sweet pea."
She was already talking to the baby and it's ears weren't even fully developed. Wow she really needed to find a girl to talk to. Hah, she'd probably end up at one of those new mothers support groups if she had time. She sucked in a breath and was able to pull the zipper up the rest of the way. She made a mental note to go by and pick up a few bigger skirts after work though she didn't know how she could have gained weight when she'd been puking her guts up.
A knock came on her door. "Felicity, we've got to get going," called Diggle.
"Coming," she called as she slipped her earrings in and grabbed her purse and tablet. They got in the car and pulled away. "You're not picking Oliver up today?"
"I'm dropping you off and then I'm going to pick him up. Thea had some questions about the club so he told her he'd drop by this morning. He slept in the foundry last night," he said in explanation. "I'll never understand why he wants to sleep down there when he has a perfectly good bed at his house."
Felicity stared out the window at the passing cars and thought about the big house with mazes of hallways. "I think he get's lonely there." She rubbed her thumb and forefinger together, a habit she knew she'd picked up from Oliver. She'd tried to make herself stop but every time she got stressed or nervous her hand automatically started to twitch. Diggle dropped her off at the front of Queen Consolidated and left to pick up Oliver.
Forty-five minutes passed and she got caught up on half of the phone messages. She opened Oliver's emails and started replying to the ones he hadn't gotten to yet. Most were generic answers like 'The company will review your proposal and get back to you.'
The glass door opened and Oliver strode in nose pointed down at his file. "You're here."
"Of, course. I said I'd see you tomorrow. So here I am, good thing too. I'm gone for a few days and there are a hundred phone messages and even more unopened emails. Do people ever stop working?"
"I think that's kinda of how the world works Felicity," he took a sip from the cup of coffee he held in his hand and she looked at it longingly but just the smell wafting from the cup made her burrito filled stomach turn. "I'm sorry I didn't think to get you one. I could run-"
"No," she stopped him. "I'm not really in the coffee mood today." He eyebrows rose and he looked at her as if she had grown another head. "What?"
He didn't get to reply because Isabel stomped, as gracefully as you can in heels, into the room."Meeting with the board in the conference room. Now."
He looked at his watch. "The board's not supposed to be here for another half hour."
"It got moved up, hurry up, the board does not like tardiness." Oliver turned back to her and rolled his eyes. She handed him the file for the meeting and told him to sign it. "Oh, and bring us coffee Ms. Smoak, I think you're qualified enough to do that."
"Isabel, Felicity isn't going to do that," Oliver said simply.
"Oh? Letting the assistant make the rules now are we? I guess I'll have to find someone that knows their place to do her job." Her stomach flipped again and she started tasting her breakfast at the back of her throat.
"You'll do no such thing," Oliver said angrily. She could not deal with this today, so she swallowed and broke her rule.
"Oli- Mr. Queen. It's fine. I'll be in with the coffee shortly Ms. Rochev."
Of all the days to hate the smell of coffee it would be on the day of the annual board meeting. Oliver sent her a 'I'm sorry' look and she just smiled weakly back at him. She went and made a fresh pot and brought it into the conference room and started to fill the cups of all the board members and started to fill Oliver's when he touched her wrist lightly. "None for me, I already got my one remember?" he whispered.
She smiled at him and he pulled out a chair next to him. She tried to decline but he sent her a look that had her sitting down. The board meeting droned on and even she was starting to get distracted. She could see Oliver's stubble covered jaw out of the corner of her eye and automatically her mind drifted to that night six weeks ago when she had been able to kiss it. She saw that his long fingers were steepled together and remembered when he stroked them down her cheeks softly. She didn't know when but she had turned her chair and was staring at him. She saw movement out of the other corner of her eyes and flicked them in that direction to find Isabel throwing knifes with her glare. She flushed and to cover it got up to grab the coffee pot and refill the members mugs but as soon as she grabbed the pot she stood there frozen looking down as the smell drifted up to meet her nose and suddenly she knew there was going to be a repeat from yesterday. She could feel Oliver's stare so she looked up and managed to talk through tight lips.
"Excuse me, I'm going to make a fresh pot," she explained before running unceremoniously from the room not caring what anyone thought only about how embarrassing it would be to throw up in a conference room full of board members. After she'd finished she wet a towel and wiped her mouth smearing her face with her pink lipstick. After she had wiped the rest of her face she just stood there weight pressed against the counter.
"Felicity?" Oliver's voice called from the door. "Are you okay in there?"
She took a final glance in the mirror and went and opened the door. His hand dropped from the place it had been pressed against the door.
"I'm fine," she answered him. "Is the board meeting over already?"
"No. When you didn't come back I got worried," he looked at her face. "Hey, you're really flushed." He placed a hand on her forehead. "You're warm but there's no fever. Are you still feeling sick?"
"I'm fine," she said and slipped around him. "Really, I just needed a minute." He looked concerned. "Oliver really. You really need to get back to the meeting."
He looked back towards the conference room. "Isabel can handle it."
"Yes but this is your company and if you ever want to get it completely back then you need to be in there. Show them you're responsible and that you care."
"What I care about right now is you. It's been three days, you should be feeling better by now." He tried to feel her forehead again but she stepped back.
"I'm sure I'll feel better soon," Like in eight months, was unspoken, "If you really care about me then you'll go back into that meeting and wow that board." He looked at her again and sighed. "I promise I'll be fine, I'm going to finish going through the phone messages and if I get sick again I'll get Digg to take me home."
"You promise?"
"Scouts honor," Not that she was a girl scout. Like ever. Thankfully she kept that babble to herself.
"Okay," he said reluctantly and started towards the conference room. She sat down hard at her desk and laid her head down.
Why did they call it morning sickness when it happened at all hours of the day? She thought.
She had to find a way to control it or her secret...wasn't going to stay hers for long.