"Can we sit? I think I need to sit." Lexa said.
Clarke sighed and plopped herself down onto the couch. Lexa followed her lead and nearly dropped herself into Clarke's lap.
"Lex," Clarke said. Lexa laughed, giving her some space as she straightened out.
"Okay, look, you're mad, right?" Lexa asked, waving her hands in a way that looked more spastic than she probably intended.
"Yeah, I'm mad." Clarke said stiffly. Lexa looked at her as if she expected her to keep talking. "Do you even know why I'm mad?" Clarke asked, exasperatedly.
"Because of the whole Anya thing," Lexa said, swinging her hands obviously.
"No, not because of 'the whole Anya thing'," Clarke snapped. Lexa furrowed her brow, drooping forward slightly.
"No? But that was bad, wasn't it?" Lexa asked thoughtfully. "It was bad."
"Why do you think it was bad?" Clarke asked.
"Because we were, you know, in the middle of things and-" Lexa started.
"That was your concern? Not getting off?" Clarke fumed. "Or was it that Anya almost caught you trying to fuck a girl you'll never be with?"
"Wait, no, Clarke, look, that's not what I meant-" Lexa said. She reached out to grab Clarke's hands, but Clarke pulled them back.
"I was there, Lex! I had to listen to you say terrible things about me!" Clarke said. Her eyes stung. She pressed at them hard with the backs of her hands.
"Wait, please, just, shh, for a second. Shh," Lexa said, bringing a finger to her lips. "I just need a second to make the words right because I keep messing them up."
"Because you're drunk! After all the shit I had to deal with today, you decide that a bullshit drunk apology is gonna be enough? I mean fuck, I know I messed up but you've been making me pay for it for fucking weeks, it's bullshit!" Clarke yelled. "And not only that, but fuck who knows if you're even going to remember this tomorrow-"
"Clarke," Lexa said tenderly.
"What?" Clarke groaned.
"I miss you," Lexa said. Clarke nearly groaned again. She pressed her hands hard against her temples.
"You don't get to just say things like that," Clarke sighed.
"I do. I miss you," Lexa said.
"You don't even want to be my friend," Clarke said.
"I can't be your friend," Lexa frowned.
"What the fuck?" Clarke snapped. "This is officially the worst apology in history-"
"You scare me," Lexa said softly.
"What?" Clarke asked, dumbfounded.
"We can't be friends because you scare me," Lexa said.
"Wait but- why?" Clarke asked.
"Every time I see you, I want to kiss you," Lexa said.
"Lex-" Clarke tried in vain to fight her creeping blush with anger.
"And that's scary because I didn't think I would feel like that again. And this probably isn't a good apology but I just wanted to give it to you as soon as I could because I knew you were upset and that I fucked it up," Lexa said.
"You know we need to actually talk, right?" Clarke asked. "Like, sober, I mean."
Lexa nodded. "Tomorrow. I promise tomorrow," she said.
"Are you gonna remember that promise tomorrow?" Clarke chuckled.
"If I don't, you'll remind me," Lexa shrugged. She stood up from the couch, stumbling slightly.
"What are you doing?" Clarke asked.
"Leaving," Lexa said.
"You can't leave," Clarke said.
"Are you kidnapping me?" Lexa laughed.
"No," Clarke said. "But it's late and you're drunk and I don't feel like walking you back to the dorm, so you're gonna stay here."
"No, I can't. I should go home," Lexa shook her head.
"Come on, the sixth floor will be fine without your drunk ass for a night," Clarke said. She pat the space next to her on the couch. "Seriously, Lex. You going home drunk and alone would be more trouble than it's worth," Clarke insisted. "I'll even start the Harry Potter marathon over for you."
"Okay," Lexa said. Clarke got up and switched the movie, before taking a seat back on her spot on the couch. "Do you mind if I sit a little closer?" Lexa asked as she watched Clarke get settled. Clarke sighed, chewing her lip slightly.
"I guess not," Clarke said. Immediately, Lexa shifted, dropping her head into Clarke's lap. "This is not what I meant," Clarke said, trying not to smile back at Lexa, who was grinning, apparently pleased with her con. She turned to face the the tv and Clarke sighed, deciding it wasn't worth the fight.
They sat in silence like that for a while, watching the movie. Clarke fought the urge to recite lines from memory. Harry had just gotten on the Hogwarts Express when Lexa spoke."They really played down the whole child abuse thing, huh?" She asked.
"Downplayed," Clarke said.
"Right, sorry," Lexa said.
"But yeah, it's a kid's movie, so they always do. Kinda like Matilda," Clarke said.
"What's that?" Lexa asked.
"Matilda?" Clarke asked. "You've never seen Matilda? Were you just born fully formed at the age of twenty-one?"
"I wish," Lexa sighed. "I usually just watched whatever my mom was watching."
"Like what?" Clarke asked.
"I don't know," Lexa shrugged. "Scarface. Boyz N The Hood, stuff like that."
"Sounds age appropriate," Clarke said sarcastically.
"My mom wasn't very good," Lexa breathed. She turned to lie flat on Clarke's lap, looking up at her.
"Should you be talking about that kind of stuff when you're drunk?" Clarke asked, frowning.
"When else am I going to talk about it?" Lexa asked.
"I don't know. Sober. Maybe with a therapist," Clarke offered.
Lexa chuckled. "That's what Anya keeps saying too."
"It's probably worth considering," Clarke said.
"I don't want to talk about it sober," Lexa said.
"Why not?" Clarke asked.
"Because it hurts," Lexa said.
"Lex," Clarke frowned. She moved a piece of hair from out of Lexa's face. "You know I worry about you, right?"
"You do?" Lexa asked, brow scrunched up in confusion. "Why?"
"Sometimes I think you're too independent for your own good," Clarke shook her head. "Asking for help doesn't make you weak."
Lexa examined her with glassy eyes, looking very serious. "I missed this," she said.
"What?" Clarke asked.
"You," Lexa said. "Talking to you. Being around you. It makes me feel warm," she said, jabbing a finger towards her chest.
"Lex, stop," Clarke said, trying to ignore the way her stomach flipped. "You're gonna hate yourself for saying that tomorrow."
"But it's true," Lexa said.
"I know," Clarke said softly. Lexa stared up at her for another moment before turning back to the tv.
"Hey, Clarke, raccoon face, time to stop gaying up my couch," Raven called. Clarke opened her eyes slowly, vaguely aware of a weight on her lap. "Good morning princess," Raven smiled sweetly. "Please wake up your lover, she looks like a human disaster." Clarke could only blink to clear her blurred vision, still confused. She tried to shift her legs, but was stopped by what she realized too late was Lexa's head. Lexa's eyes shot open, she sat up quickly before immediately doubling over with her head in her hands.
"Shit," Lexa muttered. "What's happening?" She asked, putting down one hand to look between Clarke and Raven.
"I, am going out for a little while," Raven said. "You guys, I guess can stay here while I'm gone. Or don't, whatever you want to do. I just figured I'd wake you up because it's almost noon."
"Are you kidding me?" Lexa groaned.
"Not all all," Raven said.
"I feel like shit," Lexa said with a hollow chuckle.
"You don't look much better," Raven teased.
Lexa looked at Clarke. "Is it really that bad?"
Clarke grimaced. "The eyeliner," she said, gesturing to where Lexa's makeup had smeared around her eyes. "It is a little raccoon-y."
"You look like roadkill," Raven laughed.
"Wonderful," Lexa said sarcastically.
"Alright, well, I'm off. Don't have sex on my couch," Raven said as she pulled her shoes on.
"Rae!" Clarke said, but Raven had already opened the door, shutting it behind her without another word. Clarke turned her attention to Lexa, who was clearly suffering. "I thought you didn't get hangovers?"
"I don't, as long as I'm not drinking on an empty stomach," Lexa said, shaking her head slightly. "I have to get some food." She stood from the couch with some difficulty, scanning the floor for something.
"What are you doing?" Clarke asked.
"Walking to the diner," Lexa said.
"You can't go out without at least washing your face," Clarke said. "Why don't I just order us some food? It doesn't look like you'll survive the walk," she teased.
"Fine," Lexa said begrudgingly.
"You probably should still go wash your face though. I can't take you seriously looking like that," Clarke chuckled. "And we have a lot of serious things to talk about."
"Do we have to?" Lexa groaned.
"You're the one who decided to get hammered and show up here," Clarke shrugged. Lexa groaned and trudged off toward the bathroom. Clarke could hear the water running from behind her. She took a few breaths, trying to fight the sudden knot in her stomach. What's the worst that could happen?
"So, did I do anything stupid?" Lexa asked as she returned. She took sat back down on the couch, leaving an almost excessive space between her and Clarke. "I mean, other than show up here, obviously," Lexa joked, but it fell flat.
Clarke watched her for a moment, looking so guarded and tentative. She almost wished Lexa was still drunk. "You mean aside from trying to give Raven a lapdance and professing your undying love for me?" Clarke teased. Lexa went stark white for a moment before she assessed Clarke's smirk and realized she was joking.
"Not funny," Lexa sighed.
"Man, you really believed me for a second. Glad to know both of those things are within the realm of possibility," Clarke chuckled.
"I don't trust drunk me," Lexa shrugged.
"You shouldn't," Clarke agreed with a knowing smirk.
"Do I even want to know what that's supposed to mean?" Lexa asked.
"Probably not," Clarke said. She grabbed her phone. "What do you want to eat?"
"I don't know. I don't really care," Lexa said pathetically. "Whatever will get here fastest."
"How about burgers?" Clarke asked.
"Burgers sound amazing," Lexa breathed.
With a few more taps on Clarke's screen, their food was on its way. "You wanna watch some more Harry Potter?" Clarke asked. Lexa nodded lightly.
They sat in silence for awhile, watching Chamber of Secrets. A knock on the door announced the arrival of their food.
"Thank god," Lexa muttered.
Clarke answered the door, taking the prepaid food from the delivery man without much interaction. She brought it back to the couch, setting the large brown bag on the coffee table as she emptied its contents. She passed a burger to Lexa who hardly hesitated before immediately taking huge bites. Clarke couldn't help but laugh. "Jesus christ, Lex. You're gonna choke."
"Worth it," Lexa mumbled between bites.
Clarke smirked back at her before giving her attention to her own food. After a few minutes, Clarke set her half-eaten burger down on the table. "Alright, now that there's some food in you, the grace period is over. You've got some serious explaining to do," Clarke said.
"I can't finish my breakfast first?" Lexa asked, gesturing to a pile of french fries.
"Nope," Clarke said.
"Seriously?" Lexa asked.
"Seriously," Clarke said.
Lexa sighed. She reached across the table for a napkin and wiped her hands before settling back onto the couch. "Where do you want me to start?" Lexa asked half-heartedly.
"How about with you when you decided it was a good idea to show up here drunk," Clarke said. Lexa sighed again and grabbed a french fry.
"I was at the bar with Anya and she just kept bullying me to talk to you, so that's when I texted you. I wasn't planning on coming over then, but you know, I got drunk and drunk me got it in her head that if I didn't come talk to you immediately that everything would be ruined," Lexa said, grimacing.
"You mean like it wasn't already ruined?" Clarke asked. Lexa frowned. "Not to mention you topped it all off with the world's shittiest apology."
"I'm sorry," Lexa sighed.
"Yeah, I know," Clarke sighed. In the silence, they both reached for some french fries, crunching quietly. "You did mention something about wanting to kiss me every time you see me, though. Is that true?" She asked.
Lexa's blush was immediate. "Clarke," Lexa shook her head uncomfortably.
"I'll take that as a yes," Clarke smirked.
"So is that all?" Lexa asked, looking intently at her fries.
"Is what all?" Clarke asked.
"Is that all you wanted to know?" Lexa asked.
"You're joking, right?" Clarke asked. Lexa looked up at her, uncertainly. "Not even close. I had to listen to you tell Anya all about how shitty I am, how you'd never be with me, just for you to show up here drunk and apologizing. Not to mention all the hot and cold shit you've been putting me through since thanksgiving. It's bullshit," Clarke said.
"I know. I'm sorry," Lexa frowned.
"Right now, I'm looking for a little less apologizing and a little more explaining," Clarke said.
"There really is no way to justify it, if that's what you're looking for. I'm just an asshole," Lexa sighed, pushing her fries around. "But I really am sorry."
"That's such bullshit, Lex." Clarke breathed. "I wish you were just an asshole, really, I do. I've dealt with so many assholes in my life, it's easy. I know how to deal with them. You're not an asshole. You're doing shitty things, but fundamentally, as a person, I don't think you're an asshole."
"I don't know what else to tell you," Lexa shrugged.
"The truth?" Clarke asked. "Last night you told me you're scared of me, you're scared because you have feelings for me. Is that true?" She asked. Lexa shifted uncomfortably, avoiding Clarke's eyes. "Lex," She said.
"Yes," Lexa said.
"Yes what?" Clarke asked.
"It's true," Lexa said.
"Okay," Clarke said, ignoring the way her stomach twisted. "So, if you have feelings for me, why have you been acting like such a jerk?"
"Because you scare me," Lexa said. "You answered your own question."
"It can't be that simple," Clarke said.
"Why not?" Lexa asked.
"Because you are probably the single most complicated person I've ever met," Clarke chuckled.
Lexa smirked at that. "I don't know where to start," she sighed.
"Anya was saying something about this not being like where you're from, or something?" Clarke asked. "I didn't really get it, but it sounded like a big deal. Why don't you start with that?"
Lexa sighed deeply, looking across the room. "Do I have to?" Lexa asked.
"You don't have to do anything," Clarke said obviously. "But I think I deserve a little bit of explanation, at least."
Lexa nodded again, still looking across the room at nothing. She glanced down at her own lap before her eyes flitted toward Clarke. "Fine," Lexa said. "I'm sure you've probably figured it out by now, but, where I'm from is not a good place."
"What do you mean?" Clarke asked. "I thought DC was nice? It's got all the museums and shit."
"DC is nice, if you have money. Or, if you're visiting. My neighborhood was not a good place. We didn't have money. It was dangerous," Lexa said.
"Okay," Clarke nodded slowly.
"Trusting people was hard. Everyone had motives, none of them were good," Lexa shrugged. "I guess I just haven't gotten used to being away from there yet. It was toxic," she sighed. "After so many years, I guess I just got used to living that way," Lexa looked across the room again.
"What way?" Clarke asked.
"I don't know. Detached, I guess? Not trusting new people. Skeptical. Cynical. Jaded. All the big cliches, really," Lexa said, corners of her mouth upturned. "I never thought I'd be able to get out of there," she added seriously.
"What about school?" Clarke asked.
"What about it?" Lexa asked.
"Didn't you know you were going to college?" Clarke asked.
"You don't understand, Clarke," Lexa sighed. "When you live in a place like that, no one plans for the future. There is no future," she said solemnly. "There was tonight, tomorrow, maybe next weekend, but no one thinks long term. No one in my neighborhood was thinking about college. People were lucky to make it to their next birthday," Lexa said, frowning. "I never thought I'd be here. I thought I'd end up just like my mom."
Clarke wanted to press, to ask about her mom, but thought better of it. "So then what changed?" She asked.
Lexa smiled slightly. "I had this history teacher sophomore year, Ms. Indra," she started. "She wasn't like the other teachers. Every few years we got some well meaning yuppie that would come in and try to connect with us underprivileged kids like we were the Freedom Writers or something," Lexa joked.
"Wait, so you've seen Freedom Writers but not Matilda?" Clarke asked.
"A teacher made us watch it in class, then we played the line game. I guess they were trying to inspire us or something but- That's not the point. Those teachers never lasted. Ms. Indra wasn't like them. She wasn't trying to change people, but she did anyway," Lexa said, taking a bite of her last fry. "Everyone went to her class. Everyone. She was just one of those people who commanded respect. You know?" She asked. Clarke nodded. "One day she held me back after class and asked me what I was planning to do with my life. I felt so dumb for not having an answer for her," Lexa chuckled. "But she helped me out. Wrote me letters of recommendation when it was application time, I mean fuck, a couple times in senior year she let me sleep on her couch. I owe her everything," Lexa said.
"You really never thought about college before her?" Clarke asked.
"Never," Lexa said. "I didn't know anyone who went to college," she shrugged. "Me, Lincoln, Anya, she helped us all."
"That's unbelievable. I swear, my mom was prepping me for college in the fourth grade," Clarke joked. "And look at me now, in a few weeks, I'll be an art major," she chuckled.
"You talked to your advisor?" Lexa asked.
"Yep, made it official a few weeks ago. I thought I told you," Clarke said, brow furrowed. "I guess we weren't talking."
"I really am sorry about that," Lexa said quietly.
"What?" Clarke asked.
"The whole, not talking thing. It was dumb. I thought I was doing the right thing for me," Lexa sighed.
"But why? Just because you were scared?" Clarke asked. Lexa stared back at her for a moment before taking a deep breath.
"Okay, look. I'm about to say something that I've been thinking for a long time but have avoided saying out loud, and I need you to pretend that it's not a big deal, okay?" Lexa asked. Clarke nodded, uncertainly. Lexa took another deep breath and stared down at her lap. "I know I said that it wasn't about Costia, but that isn't completely true," she exhaled, looking at Clarke for any kind of reaction. Clarke remained impassive, unsure if that was the end of the revelation. "When I lost her," Lexa said, voice catching on the word lost. "It was because I was busy writing a paper for school. This school," she breathed. "I still don't know what happened to her. I don't know if she got into a car with someone, or if she took a wrong turn down a rough block. Every single day I have to wonder what would've happened if I would've gone with her. If I could I have saved her-"
"Lex-" Clarke started.
"And that's why this is so important. I chose a future for myself over her life," Lexa said, blinking back the obvious tears in her eyes. Her breaths came out as if she was counting them.
"You can't think about it like that, that's not what happened," Clarke said softly.
"That's how it feels," Lexa shrugged, looking up at Clarke before staring down at her lap. "So I have to do it for her, and for Indra, for every kid trapped in a shitty situation that feels like they have no escape and fuck, for me. Because without a degree, without that stupid fucking piece of paper, I go right back to being nobody from nowhere with no fucking future," Lexa said, trying to wipe her eyes. Clarke watched her for a moment as she calmed herself down.
"Why didn't you just tell me all of this?" Clarke asked quietly.
"I shouldn't have had to," Lexa shrugged. "You knew school was important to me. That my job was important. You knew I took it seriously. That should've been enough."
"You're right. I'm sorry for that," Clarke said seriously. She watched Lexa breathe for a moment. "Actually, you know what, no," Clarke said. Lexa looked over at her, confused. "I already apologized for that. You accepted that apology. Don't you remember?" She asked. Lexa nodded. "So, that definitely doesn't justify the fact that you've been stringing me along for weeks," Clarke said seriously.
"I didn't mean to," Lexa said.
"But you did," Clarke said. "And then I had to listen to you while you told Anya about all the reasons you'd never even consider being with me, which, even if it has an explanation, still really fucking hurt," she frowned.
"Is that what you want?" Lexa asked.
"What?" Clarke asked, reaching to taking a sip of her soda.
"To be together," Lexa asked seriously. Clarke choked on her drink. "Shit, are you okay?"
"You really lack tact, huh?" Clarke asked.
"What do you mean?" Lexa asked, confused.
"I mean I'm in the middle of trying to get some apologies from you and you're asking me out?" Clarke asked, unsure if the hammering in her chest was from nearly choking or something else.
"No!" Lexa exclaimed. "I mean, not that I- not that it would be- not that- shit, uh-"
"Lex, breathe," Clarke smirked, hoping to sound more confident than she felt.
"That's not what I was trying to say," Lexa said after a moment. "I just meant-" Lexa looked at Clarke seriously. "I never know what you're thinking. I didn't think you were interested at all. In me, I mean."
"Are you serious?" Clarke asked incredulously. Lexa nodded. "Why did you think we made out all those times?"
"I don't know. Obligation?" Lexa said.
Clarke laughed. "Well, to clarify, I am interested- I mean, you know, I was."
"Right," Lexa said awkwardly. They sat in silence for a moment, avoiding each other's eyes. "So what do we do now?" She asked.
"With what?" Clarke asked.
"With us," Lexa said.
Clarke drummed her fingers against her own thigh in thought. "I guess we should probably just start over, right?" Clarke asked looking over at Lexa.
"Start over?" Lexa asked.
"You know, as friends. That way we can pretend we're two normal people instead of two complete assholes," Clarke smirked.
"I thought you said you didn't think I was an asshole?" Lexa asked with a smirk. Clarke rolled her eyes. "Yeah, okay," Lexa smiled slightly. She held her hand out to Clarke. "Friends?"
"What is this, a business transaction?" Clarke chuckled. "Handshakes are not friendly, Lex."
"Handshakes are a universally recognized symbol of coming to an agreement," Lexa said.
"Yeah, well, we're agreeing to forget we're both dumb, not signing a treaty to stop firebombing each other's home countries," Clarke said.
"Fine," Lexa rolled her eyes. "Do you have an alternative in mind?"
"Uh, yeah. We hug. Like normal people," Clarke said.
"Clarke," Lexa groaned.
"What, are you scared to hug me or something?" Clarke teased.
"Shut up," Lexa said.
"Oh my god," Clarke grinned. "You totally are!"
"I am not!" Lexa said defensively.
"Aw, look at you, getting all pink," Clarke laughed, pointing to Lexa's quickly reddening cheeks.
"Clarke," Lexa said threateningly.
"I can't believe it, Lexa gets embarrassed. She just may be human after all," Clarke chuckled. "This might be the best day of my life."
"You must have a pretty pathetic life," Lexa said, annoyed.
"If you must know, I do," Clarke laughed. Lexa only rolled her eyes. "Are we gonna hug or what?" Clarke asked.
"Weren't we supposed to be hugging in celebration of not being assholes?" Lexa asked.
"Oh come on you big baby," Clarke teased. "I'm just messing with you. I promise I won't even tell Anya how red you turned." Lexa scowled at her. "Okay, fine, I get it. Jokes over," Clarke said, holding her hands up in surrender. Lexa stared at her for a moment before taking a deep breath. She held her arms out, looking only mildly tortured. "Oh no," Clarke said, glancing at her as she stood from the couch. "None of that weird fake side hug bullshit, we're doing this for real," she said, gesturing for Lexa to follow her lead. Lexa did so reluctantly, until they stood inches apart. "It's only fair to warn you," Clarke said. "This is probably gonna be a long hug because I've really been missing human contact."
"You have?" Lexa asked, holding her arms out again. Clarke stepped in toward her, wrapping her own arms around Lexa.
Clarke spoke into the crook of Lexa's neck. "Yeah. I mean, Raven's hugs are okay, I guess. But-" She moved her head to look Lexa in the eyes. "Wait, what the fuck is that supposed to mean?"
"No, Clarke, it's not like-" Lexa said.
"Are you seriously implying I'm some huge slut?" Clarke asked, dropping her arms. "Like I have so much company all the time how could I possibly miss-"
"Clarke, that's not what I meant," Lexa said.
"Then what did you mean?" Clarke asked, nostrils flaring.
"I just meant, I don't know," Lexa sighed. "You have all these friends and people around all the time-" Lexa stopped short.
"What?" Clarke asked. Lexa looked down, shifting awkwardly. "What were you gonna say, Lex?"
"Just that," Lexa hesitated again. "There are just so many people in your life," she sighed. "I didn't think you would miss me." Clarke stared at her in complete disbelief.
"What?" Lexa asked.
"You really have no idea, huh?" Clarke asked, vaguely aware of her sudden urge to touch Lexa's face.
"Hm?" Lexa hummed.
"How important you are to me," Clarke said. Clarke didn't realize she'd put her hand on Lexa's cheek until Lexa moved, stepping toward her.
"Clarke," Lexa breathed, moving a hand to the back of her neck.
"What?" Clarke asked, suddenly tense and breathless.
"You can't say things like that if we're supposed to be friends," Lexa said softly. Clarke could feel her breath and wondered when she got so close.
"Why not?" Clarke asked.
"Because it makes me want to kiss you," Lexa said. Clarke swallowed hard, looking back at her. Lexa's gaze was intense, Clarke ignored her thrill at Lexa's slowly tightening grip.
"I mean-" Clarke breathed. "Friends can kiss, right?" She asked quietly.
"They can," Lexa said. "But we probably shouldn't."
"You're right," Clarke said. Lexa started to relax her grip. "But maybe we could. Just this once," Clarke said. Lexa looked at her. "You know, to get it out of our system."
"That seems logical to me," Lexa breathed.
"Completely," Clarke said, moving a hand to Lexa's waist. Clarke wasn't sure which of them closed the distance first, only that Lexa was warm and soft and pulling hard against her. It wasn't enough. She moved her hands to Lexa's neck, one slipping into her hair, pulling down near the root. Lexa tipped her head back slightly, either to breathe or to moan, Clarke wasn't sure. She was preoccupied with pressing hot kisses on either side of her throat, holding Lexa's head back with a thumb against her jaw. Lexa shivered under her. It made Clarke want to grip harder, to touch more, to be closer. Impulsively, she bit down on soft skin of Lexa's throat.
"Fuck, Clarke," Lexa said, taking a step back.
"Shit, uh, I'm sorry-" Clarke said, chewing her own lip. The look that Lexa gave her was not at all what she was expecting, her eyes were darker than Clarke had ever seen.
"Fuck," Lexa said again. Not a second later she grabbed Clarke again by the sides of her face with such force that she stumbled backwards onto the couch, pulling Clarke with her. Clarke settled onto Lexa's lap with only a passing thought of how well she fit there. Lexa moved her hands easily, one into Clarke's hair, the other on the side of her neck, long fingers nearly wrapping all the way around the back. Lexa didn't give her a chance to take a breath, immediately guiding Clarke back to her lips. Lexa's skin was so warm it almost burned, Clarke couldn't understand how it was possible when her own skin felt like it was on fire. Lexa moved her hands to Clarke's waist, thoughtlessly pushing up the fabric of her t-shirt to touch her skin. There were goosebumps everywhere her hands weren't. Clarke buried her hands into Lexa's hair, pulling though they were already as close as they could get. Lexa pulled away, looking up at Clarke. "Can I take this off?" Lexa asked, tugging on the hem of Clarke's shirt with a ragged breath. Clarke nodded, not entirely sure that her voice could be trusted. Lexa hooked her thumbs outside the garment sliding her hands up along Clarke's ribs, but stopped short of the clasp of her bra.
"What?" Clarke asked. Lexa's brow was furrowed as she looked passed Clarke, like she was thinking something over.
"Shh," Lexa said, apparently straining to hear something. A second later, Clarke heard it too, the clunk of a key turning in a lock. Lexa ripped her hands back like she'd been burned, flattening herself against the backrest. It took Clarke a little longer to transition. She threw herself across the couch torso first, leaving Lexa flushed and alone with a tangled mess of hair.
"I said no sex on my couch," Raven said knowingly as Clarke straightened herself out.
"We- weren't- we- uh- just-" Clarke defended breathlessly. Clarke watched as Lexa stood, quickly walking toward the door. She stooped down to pull on her shoes.
"Uh huh, totally," Raven nodded sarcastically. "Glad you guys made up. When's the wedding?"
"We're not- we're- just friends," Clarke said, looking toward Lexa who nodded back at her.
Raven looked between them, smirking at the obvious discomfort. "Ah, well, who am I to judge?" She chuckled.
"I'm going to go," Lexa said, picking her jacket up from the floor where she left it the night before.
"Aw, so soon?" Raven teased.
"I guess I'll talk to you later?" Lexa asked Clarke. Clarke bit back her grin and nodded.
"Alright, bye," Lexa said, as she walked out the door.
"So, that was fun," Raven smirked, taking a seat on the arm of the couch.
"Shut up," Clarke said, looking down as she fought her own smile.
"Obviously things went well, then?" Raven asked.
"Better than I thought," Clarke said, looking up at her friend.
"But somehow you're still not dating?" Raven asked.
"We decided to start over, as friends," Clarke said.
"Right. So, friends with benefits?" Raven asked.
"No, just- friends," Clarke said a little awkwardly.
"Do you mind texting that to Octavia?" Raven asked with a sly grin.
"What?" Clarke asked, brow furrowed.
"That you and Lexa are just friends," Raven said.
"Uh, why?" Clarke asked.
"Because she owes me ten bucks," Raven said with a triumphant chuckle.
"Can you guys stop betting on me?" Clarke groaned.
"We'll stop betting on you when you being easy to bet on," Raven laughed.
"What was it this time?" Clarke asked.
"Last night when I went to smoke I called her about it and she bet me that you and Lexa would be together by this afternoon. She has too much faith in you," Raven laughed.
"Shut up. What makes you think I even want to be with her?" Clarke said. Raven gave her a look.
"Come on, we have a Harry Potter marathon to finish," Raven said, throwing herself down on the couch.