"Tell me again why we agreed to do this," Clarke put her head on Lexa's shoulder as they waited outside the restaurant Clarke chose for this occasion.

"Because your friends wouldn't leave you alone until you agreed to introduce them to me and Anya's in town and refuses to let me sleep with her incessant 'Can I meet her? Can I meet her? Hey Lexa, are you awake? No? Well wake up! When can I meet her?'"

Lexa put her arm around Clarke and kissed her forehead.

"Yeah, about that. When does she leave? Because I kind of miss our sleepovers." Clarke looked up at her with those big blue eyes and Lexa felt a little tug on her heart.

"I miss them, too. I told you I can come to your place when your mom works the graveyard shift."

"I'm not letting you leave your cousin alone after she came all this way to visit with you."

"Then stop making me feel guilty."

Clarke thought for a moment. "No."

Lexa rolled her eyes. "You're lucky you're cute."

Clarke smiled and kissed her. "I'm lucky you're mine."

Lexa tried to ignore the way her stomach flipped at Clarke's words, but she couldn't avoid how warm her face felt. She knew she was definitely blushing. She wasn't used to this. She didn't know if she would ever get used to it. She didn't know if she ever wanted to, either. The way Clarke made her feel far surpassed anything she ever imagined being in love would be like. Not that she'd ever admit it out loud. Far too scary and far too soon. Right now, she was just hoping to get through the night without making a complete fool of herself in front of Clarke's friends.

She had no idea how to respond without her voice cracking from nerves, so she simply pulled Clarke in closer and kissed her deeply.

"By all means, keep kissing. Don't stop on our account."

They pulled apart and Lexa was met with two rather familiar looking brunettes. She knew them to be ones who tried to hide the fact that they were spying on her as she worked out in her room. Lexa detached from Clarke, stood up straight and held out her hand with as much confidence as she could muster.

"You must be Octavia. It's nice to meet you." Octavia shook her hand looked her up and down. It wasn't in a threatening way. It was more out of curiosity.

She then turned to Raven to shake her hand, as well. "And you must be the overprotective pain in the ass that's going to judge me all night long."

Raven pursed her lips and looked Lexa up and down just as Octavia did, but this one was definitely in a threatening way. It took a moment, but Raven finally relented and took her hand.

"Well, at least we know Clarke has told you about us. I was beginning to think she had forgotten all about us with how much time she's been spending with you."

"Raven," Clarke warned.

Raven shot her a look of innocence. "What? I'm just saying we haven't seen as much of you as we did last summer."

"Sorry. I guess I have been taking up a lot of her time," offered Lexa.

Raven gave her a death stare that could melt the face off the devil himself. Lexa had no idea why she was so afraid of this girl. She found herself praying that Anya would arrive soon and rescue her. There was no way Anya would let anyone intimidate her.

Raven's death glare slowly faded and turned into a smile.

"All right, enough with the scare tactics, soccer girl. Let's get some drinks in us and become besties!" She put her arm through Lexa's and pulled her toward the entrance.

Lexa was completely caught off guard. "I…uh…ok. Wait! My cousin is meeting us."

"She's late. She can meet us inside. Is she older? Can she buy us drinks?"

"I don't know…maybe?"

"Well text her and tell her to get her ass over here. We're thirsty." Raven looked back at Clarke and winked. "Some of us more than others. Sorry I'm stealing your girl for the night, princess. You'll have to make out with her on your own time."

Once inside the restaurant and in a booth towards the back, Lexa was still nervous, but for a completely different reason than before. Raven was sitting next to her going a mile a minute asking her questions while barely giving her time to answer. Clarke and Octavia managed to start their own little conversation knowing full well it was pointless to try to talk over Raven. Lexa looked across at Clarke to signal her for help, but Clarke was too engrossed in what Octavia was saying.

Suddenly, Raven was silenced when five full shot glasses were slammed down on the table.

"Did anyone order a good time? Because here I am."

Lexa had never been so happy to see her cousin.

"Anya! You made it!" She jumped up and pulled her into a hug and whispered to her. "Save me, please."

Raven's attention went from Lexa to the shot glasses to the woman who brought them and her jaw nearly dropped.

"Uh, I believe I ordered the good time. I also ordered the sexy. Nice to see you brought both. I'm Raven."

Anya raised her eyebrows and gave Raven a once-over. "Hi Raven. I'm not interested."

Clarke had to stifle a laugh and Raven shot her a look.

Anya downed a shot and nodded over to Clarke. "Well, at least someone thinks I'm funny. It's nice to finally meet you, Clarke."

"You too, Anya."

Octavia stared at the girl in awe. "I think you might be my new favorite person. No one has ever put Reyes in her place like that before. Look at her. She still can't even talk."

"Shut up, Blake. I can talk just fine."

"Ouch. Someone's bitter," teased Clarke.

Lexa nudged her cousin, trying to convey that she was trying to impress Clarke's friends. Now wasn't the time for Anya's jackassery.

Anya took the hint and grabbed a full shot glass. She handed it to Raven. "My apologies. Allow me to make it up to you. Drinks are on me. All night."

Raven drank her shot and slammed the glass down on the table. "I'd rather be on you all night."

Anya just laughed. "You really don't learn, do you kid?"

"What can I say? I'm persistent."

"You're also annoying."

"Don't worry. It'll grow on you. These two still love me." Raven gestured to Octavia and Clarke, then put her arm around Lexa. "And this one's warming up to me, aren't you?"

Lexa shrugged and took a shot. This night was going to get a lot worse before it got any better. The only thing that helped were the looks Clarke was giving her across the table the entire night. Looks that told her to just breathe and everything would be all right.

Once they were a few shots in, everybody seemed to loosen up. Clarke made her way over to Lexa's side of the table and Octavia and Raven were busy playing quarters with Anya. They were having so much fun, they almost forgot they were actually there for dinner and finally ordered some appetizers to share for the whole table.

"You look really pretty tonight, Lex." Clarke's hand made its way up underneath Lexa's shirt.

Lexa cleared her throat and tried to ignore what Clarke's touches were doing to her body.

"Thank you. So do you. I kind of feel like an asshole for not telling you earlier."

"You were nervous. So was I." Clarke leaned into her neck and sighed.

Lexa didn't drink too much more, but she did feel drunk. Completely drunk off of Clarke. The blonde's breath against her cheek, her fingers skimming Lexa's thigh, the gentle kisses she placed along Lexa's jaw and down her neck. Who needed alcohol when she had Clarke Griffin?

"Seriously, Lexa. You look so hot tonight. How do you always look so good?" Clarke could feel her words starting to slur a bit, but she trudged on, trying to convince herself and everyone else that she wasn't drunk. "I can barely keep my hands off of you."

"Yeah blondie, we can tell," replied Anya.

Raven let out a hardy laugh.

Octavia chuckled. "Thank God somebody said it."

Clarke started to pout. It wasn't her fault Lexa looked so good. The moment the girl showed up at her door in skinny blue jeans, a tight red tank top and a black leather jacket, she knew she was going to have a difficult time focusing on anything but her girlfriend. Apparently the alcohol only made it more apparent how attracted she was to her.

Anya just nudged her playfully. "I'm just kidding, darlin'." She looked over at Lexa. "She's cute when she pouts."

Lexa nodded. "That's why I always like to give her a hard time. She's the best pouter I've ever met."

Clarke huffed. "I liked it better when we were all picking on Raven."

Anya ordered another round of shots. Lexa chose to stick to water. Someone needed to be sober tonight and it's not like they would even notice she had stopped drinking a few shots back.

"A toast." Anya raised her glass. "To the girl who finally tamed the legend that is Lexa Woods."

They all downed their shots in unison as Lexa sipped her water.

Octavia looked at Lexa curiously. "Legend, huh? Any stories you have for us, Lexa?"

"Oh! Tell them the one about the cheerleader and the Porsche," exclaimed Clarke, who was having trouble maintaining her indoor voice.

"Ha! Lexa, I can't believe you had the balls to even tell Clarke that story. That was the fucking funniest thing ever."

At that moment, Lexa got up. "I need to pee." She looked at Clarke and winked playfully. "I told you that in confidence. Traitor" Then she turned her focus to Anya. "And you…shush! No embarrassing stories."

She gave Clarke a kiss and headed off to the bathroom.

"I did NOT agree to that," Anya yelled after her.

"I need to pee, too." Octavia excused herself from the table.

"Well, I guess I should escort her. She tends to get lost when she drinks too much," said Raven, as she got up to follow Octavia.

The table fell silent as Clarke and Anya were left alone.

It was Anya who decided to break the silence.

"Are they going to threaten her?"

"Probably." Clarke nodded.

"I figured. I suppose I should use this time to do the same."

"I had a feeling this was coming." Clarke did her best to act as sober as she could. She didn't want to get on Anya's bad side. She needed to be ready for whatever the girl threw at her.

"Look Clarke, I'm not going to threaten you. You seem like a really good person and I don't think you would ever intentionally hurt her."

"I wouldn't."

"I know. But Lexa's had a difficult time. So if she ever seems guarded with you, don't take it personally."

Clarke nodded as she continued listening to Anya.

"Her childhood was rough. Her parents were rarely ever home. Always taking business trips or traveling or attending social galas. And they were definitely not happy about her being gay. To the point where they won't even mention it. It's like it's a part of her that doesn't exist for them. They made her work hard and train hard and focus solely on school. The only way her dad could relate to her was her competitive attitude. She just wants to make them proud, but all they do is push her even more. I really thought she would eventually break, but she's strong. And she's proud. I really hope someday she'll be out of their grasp for good, but for some reason she just strives to make them proud. That's why she's so driven."

Clarke nodded slowly as she allowed the information to sink in.

"She'll probably kill me for telling you all this and I know it's not my place. I just care about her a lot."

"So do I."

"I can tell. I'm really glad she found you. You seem really good for her. I see the way you look at her. And knowing her, she'll probably take forever to admit it, but I can tell she really likes you."

Clarke smiled. "Actually, she already told me that."

The stunned look on Anya's face spoke volumes. "She did?"

Clarke nodded.

"Wow. She's actually coming to terms with her human emotions. Damn. You really are good for her."

"I think we're good for each other. I mean, I know it's early, but I'm excited about it."

"You two are kind of adorable." Anya grabbed a few fries off the plate in front of her. "What are you going to do when she goes back to New York next week?"

Suddenly, Clarke felt very sober.

"What?"

"New York. She's going back next week. I was just wondering how you're going to handle it since you obviously can't keep your hands off each other." Anya chuckled. "I never thought I'd see my little cousin so giddy. It's so weird."

Clarke was trying to process what Anya just said. "What do you mean she's going to New York next week? Columbia doesn't start for another three weeks. Same as NYU."

Anya's smile started to fade as she realized she may have revealed something Clarke didn't know.

"She's going back for soccer. There's a two week training camp before school starts. It's really intense. Especially since she's captain this year. She didn't tell you?"

Clarke stared straight ahead, suddenly very interested in the salt shaker in front of her. She started playing with it, pushing it back and forth between her fingers.

"No. She didn't tell me."

Anya scooted closer to her. "Well, it's only a couple weeks. She probably didn't think it was a big deal since it's really not that long a time."

"Yeah." Clarke could feel her chest tighten. She could feel herself turning in to a sad drunk. And a sad, drunk Clarke is the worst kind of Clarke there is. She rarely makes an appearance, but when she does, it's never a good time.

"Clarke? Fuck, please tell me you're okay. Lexa will kill me if she found out I upset you."

"You didn't upset me, Anya. I'm okay. I'm fine. Really." She gave her a sweet smile and hoped it was good enough to mask the sadness.

Lexa walked back to the table completely flanked by Octavia and Raven on either side of her. They certainly did their job as the best friends by giving Lexa the "break her heart and I'll break your face" speech. But did they really have to be so graphic? They had her seriously questioning if they were actual serial killers.

She was thankful that they at least started joking with her afterwards and they both told her with sincere honesty that they really liked her and liked seeing Clarke this happy. That made Lexa smile.

She excitedly made her way back to the table and put her arm around Clarke.

"Sorry I took so long. Your friends wanted to have a word with me."

She felt Clarke stiffen at her touch.

"It's fine."

"Are you mad that I left you alone with Anya? She promised me she'd be good."

"No. Anya's nice. I like her a lot."

Lexa could feel something was off. Clarke wouldn't even look at her. She looked to Anya for an answer, but her cousin seemed to be really interested in her phone at the moment.

"Did she say something?"

Clarke shrugged Lexa's arm off of her shoulder and leaned over the table.

"So Octavia, how's Lincoln? Any new hot pictures to show us?"

"He's coming to visit this weekend. You'll finally get to meet him!"

Lexa sunk back in her seat as Clarke continued her conversation with Octavia. She took her phone out and texted Anya.

Lexa: What happened?

Anya: Lex, I'm so sorry.

Lexa: Again, I ask: what happened?

Before Anya could reply, Clarke started yawning. "I'm beat. I think I'm ready to head home. You girls want to share a cab?"

Octavia gave Clarke a confused look. "Uh, you literally live next door to Lexa. And she seems pretty sober. Just go home with her and Anya."

Clarke still wouldn't look at Lexa.

"I think we're overdue for a slumber party. And I'm sure Lexa and Anya still have some catching up to do. Come on. Girl's night at Raven's!"

Lexa got up from the booth, letting Clarke out without even having to be asked.

"I'll see you later, Lexa." Clarke gave her a quick kiss on the cheek, but still wouldn't look at her. "It was really nice meeting you, Anya. This was fun."

As the other girls said their goodbyes, Clarke spent her time calling for a cab and very blatantly ignoring Lexa.

"Clarke, let me take you guys home."

"No. That's okay. Raven lives the opposite direction. We'll be fine."

Lexa could feel herself starting to break. What had happened in those five minutes she was in the bathroom?

"Clarke, please." The 'please' wasn't Lexa asking to take her home. It was asking Clarke to turn around and look at her. To talk to her. To at least acknowledge her.

But her 'please' went unanswered as Clarke left with her friends leaving Lexa ready to kill Anya for whatever it was that she said.

"I thought you had told her!"

"I was going to tell her tonight! After dinner. Jesus, Anya!"

"I'm sorry!"

Lexa continued pacing around her room. She had tried calling Clarke multiple times but it kept going straight to voice mail. She sent her a few texts as well, but she knew they would go unanswered.

Anya stayed seated on the edge of Lexa's bed scrolling through her phone.

"I fucked up. I should have told her."

"Lexa, it'll be fine. She'll be okay. She just needs to blow off some steam."

Lexa felt herself starting to panic when she thought back to how Clarke wouldn't even look at her. She looked out her window only to find Clarke's room as dark as it was ten minutes ago.

Anya was still focused on her phone while trying to calm her cousin down.

"You should get some sleep. You'll feel better in the morning."

"How can I sleep? She wouldn't even let me touch her, Anya. I can't sleep knowing how upset she is." She continued pacing, then grabbed at her stomach. "I don't feel so good."

"Yeah, that sounds about right."

"What?"

"That sick feeling you get when the person you love is mad at you."

"What?"

"Welcome to being in a relationship, Lexa. For the most part, it's awesome. And then there are moments like this."

"So this sick feeling is from being in a relationship?"

"It's from caring about someone. And I know how much you care about her. So you must be feeling pretty nauseated right now."

Lexa paused and watched as Anya texted someone.

"Could you please get off your phone? I'm in the middle of a crisis."

"Sorry." She put her phone down. "Look, I promise it will be okay."

"How do you know?"

"Because I've been texting with Raven. She gave me her number. Clarke is okay. She's just upset. Raven seems to think she's more upset about you leaving than you not telling her, but it's hard to say."

"I should have told her." Lexa sat down next to her.

"I think it'll be okay. Raven seems to think it'll be okay. You just need to wait it out. Come on. Let's watch a movie or something. We have to get your mind off of this."

"Fine, but promise me if Raven texts you anything about Clarke, you'll tell me. Even if I'm asleep, wake me up."

"I promise."

Lexa was awoken by a familiar buzzing, but she wasn't exactly sure why it was so familiar. Then she realized it was her phone. She shot up out of her bed and reached for her phone. It was 6:23am. She managed to sleep a full two hours. Anya had passed out long before the first movie ended.

Lexa saw that she had three texts from Clarke. Each one sent about five minutes apart. She was terrified to open them, but knew she had to.

Clarke: I'm home safe. Couldn't sleep at Raven's so I left.

Clarke: Your room is dark. It's weird.

Clarke: When you wake up, we need to talk. Come over when you can.

Lexa's heart stopped as she read those words. 'We need to talk.' She was new at this whole relationship stuff, but she knew those were not good words to hear. Or read.

Knowing there was no way she'd be able to go back to sleep, she threw on some shorts and a t-shirt and walked over to Clarke's house. Her mom's car wasn't there, so she knew Clarke was alone. She made her way up the stairs and took a deep breath before knocking.

"Come in."

She heard a small voice telling her to come in, but it couldn't be Clarke's. It sounded so unfamiliar. Then she heard someone sniffling.

She opened the door to find Clarke sitting on the floor with her back leaning against her bed. Her eyes were red and she was wiping tears away from her eyes. The sight nearly killed Lexa. She fell to the ground in front of Clarke and hugged her as tight as she could.

"I'm so sorry. Oh my God, Clarke. I'm sorry. Please don't cry. I fucked up. I know I fucked up. I'm sorry."

Clarke's face was buried in Lexa's shirt. She could feel the wetness from her tears soaking through it and hoped that if she held her tight enough, the tears would somehow stop.

Clarke shook her head and Lexa's heart sank.

"Please, baby. Don't cry. I'm so sorry." She could feel a lump building in her throat. Her eyes were starting to water, but she refused to let a single tear out. She hadn't cried in years. She wasn't about to start now.

Clarke just continued to shake her head and mumbled something into Lexa's shirt.

"What?"

Clarke pulled her face away and wiped her tears with the back of her hand. "I said stop apologizing."

"But I..."

"No. You don't need to apologize. You didn't do anything wrong. I mean, I wish you had told me-"

"I was going to. I swear."

"I know. I was just in shock. Anya threw a lot of information at me all at once and I think I just panicked in a way. And I shouldn't have taken it out on you. I'm so sorry, Lex. I couldn't sleep knowing how upset you were."

"How did you know-"

"Anya told Raven."

"Right. Of course." Lexa moved to sit down next to Clarke, their shoulders touching, but nothing more.

"Raven and Octavia spent most of the night pretty much telling me what an idiot I'm being and that I was acting like an asshole when we left the restaurant."

"Really? They said that?"

Clarke nodded, sniffling. "Yeah. They really like you. And they couldn't understand why I was being such a jerk."

"Because I should have told you I was leaving. I really am sorry that I didn't tell you. I guess I don't really know how to do this. I've never been in a relationship before and I'm trying so hard not to fuck it up that I lose sight of the little things that are equally important. It really didn't occur to me to tell you about it until last night. I really was going to tell you."

"I believe you. Raven and Octavia were right. I was a complete asshole. I shouldn't have done that. You deserve so much better than that. Especially after all you've been through."

Lexa turned to look at Clarke. "What do you mean after all I've been through?"

Clarke breathed a deep sigh. "Anya told me some stuff. About your parents."

"Oh I am really, really going to kill her dead."

"Don't be mad at her. She was just trying to look out for you. She wanted to make sure I wasn't going to hurt you. And I told her I wouldn't and then I went and did it anyway."

Lexa leaned her head on Clarke's shoulder. "So you're not mad at me?"

"God, no. I am going to miss you, though."

"Well, we still have some time. I'm not leaving until next week."

Clarke grabbed Lexa's hand and intertwined their fingers. "Please forgive me."

"Done. You didn't even have to ask." She leaned over and kissed Clarke's reddened nose, then leaned her head on her shoulder once more. They stayed like that for a while, just sitting in silence and breathing each other in. Lexa felt overwhelmed, but in the best way. This is what forgiveness feels like. This is what trust feels like. This is what love feels like. And she had no idea how she had gone so long without it.