Credit for the twins' keyboard prank that I will mention goes to Hummergrey. She has lists of creative pranks and rules! I love them! (I only have one list, and progress on it is slow… you can still check it out though; it's called "In the Event of an Autobot Party").
After watching the Discovery Channel's "Boom De Yada" song on YouTube, I could not resist doing what I did in the first section of this chapter. :) A special thank-you to MisCrasyaboutfanficsfor telling me about the song! I love this song; it always puts a big smile on my face! (Your writing and your reviews make me smile soooo much, too, MisCrasy!) For those who haven't heard the song or seen the video, search on YouTube, "Discovery Channel Song 1 & 2 - Boom De Ya Da" if you like. It has Optimus Prime in it! XD
Chapter 11
Mechs and Cannons
Weapons fire boomed and echoed and the ground shook as five huge mechs ran through weapons practice. They did a form of skeet shooting; shooting at stationary targets was not their thing. Besides, Decepticons never just stood and waited for one to aim and fire.
"Regroup!" Optimus called, and they all came back from where they had scattered. They had finished round four; it was time to cool off a little and checked the status of their weapons.
"My total score is still the highest," Ironhide announced, a pleased look on his face.
"Yeah, yeah; we know." Ratchet cut him off. The weapons mech shook his head tolerantly at the medic. Optimus chuckled at them.
The other two mechs, Inferno and Ultra Magnus, came up from the lower field, shaking the ground underfoot as they moved quickly.
"Nice shooting, 'Hide." Inferno said.
"Thanks. You, too." Ironhide said, grinning. "Ah, I got just one more charge left and this'll be empty..."
"Fire," Optimus offered.
Ironhide aimed, and fired, "Boom-de-yada," he growled playfully.
Except for Optimus, the other mechs stared at him like he lost it. He ducked his head. "What?" he rumbled, "Auri's been watching the Discovery Channel…"
"Is that supposed explain…it?" Ultra Magnus asked.
"It's a phrase from a song they play on a commercial." Ironhide explained, looking annoyed with himself. "Like I said, Auri's been watching it a whole lot. Bumblebee spent hours watching it when he first found it."
"'I love the whole world,'" Optimus sang, "'No place I'd rather be/ Boom de yada, boom de yad…' Uh…" now he got the odd stare, and Ironhide grinned, "Nevermind." The Autobot leader said sheepishly, "Just watch the channel sometime."
"I'm not sure that would be safe." Ultra Magnus said, giving him and Ironhide a skeptical look. "I might end up singing 'boom-de-ya-da,' and that would be really weird."
"I'd like to see that." Ironhide said as he began the process of checking the replacement parts in his cannon. "ARG!" he yelled, "The ^^~** connector has melted!"
"Again?" Inferno asked, frowning.
Ironhide nodded unhappily. The part had gotten broken some time ago, and he'd not yet figured out which alloy would hold up to the heat of repeated firing. Some of the wires were getting corroded, too, but he'd fix them later that day. "I'll ask Auri if she'll bring the replacement out here." He muttered, disgruntled with the weapon's defect. "She'd better not get lost." He said, frowning after a brief intercom conversation with Auri.
"Is she in the habit of getting lost?" Optimus asked, looking up from checking his small blaster with a smile; he knew the little femme wasn't.
"Well, no. But still…! She's not been out here before." Ironhide reasoned. Several days had passed since the sword lesson, and he was feeling more and more protective of his little charge than ever.
"Have you completely spoiled her yet?" Ratchet asked grimly, but his tone was just a front; he was concerned about the little femme-ling.
"Oh… we've not spoiled her quite yet," Ironhide said, "Bedtime stories are routine now, though. And neither Chromia nor I can come back from doing something without having to answer a slew of questions about all we've done. And she's Velcro when it comes to hanging onto us after hugs."
"She's sure is a sweet youngling," Inferno said; he'd met and gotten acquainted with the little femme. "My Firestar and I are quite willing to 'babysit' any time."
"Ha! Like we'd let her out of our sight." Ironhide retorted, but he smiled at his old friend. He would let the other Autobot pair enjoy his little femme-ling sometime, but he wasn't ready to just yet. He paused to check his ion pistol.
"Have you met her?" Optimus asked Ultra Magnus; the other mech hadn't had anything to say for quite some time.
"I have." The red, white, and blue commander said, ducking his head a little, "Briefly."
"She scared'im." Ironhide said, grinning.
"Startled." Ultra Magnus corrected.
"She jumped out from behind a corner with two fully charged mini-swords and a Decepticon war cry." Ironhide said with relish, "And he jumped backwards, snapping his battle-mask up so fast."
Ultra Magnus shrugged at that with an easy-going gesture while the others chuckled.
"She had been waiting for Ironhide and mistook my step for his." Ultra Magnus said, "My reaction was only natural. She stood there for a second, and then said –sheepishly-, 'Ah… you're not Ironhide.' I said, 'no… I am not.' And then she ran off."
"I saw the whole scene from across the street." Ironhide said. "I loved it."
"You're biased." Ratchet stated, having had to deal with new fathers for millennia.
Further retort was stored away for later as a bright little sports-car came revving up the small hill to where the mechs were conversing.
Auri pulled up close to Ironhide, halted, and transformed. "Hello!"
"Hello," the other mech's heard the softness in Ironhide's greeting.
She held up the replacement piece for all to see, "I have a fine… replacement thing -piece for a Really Big Cannon," she announced, "What am I bid for it?"
"A cuddle and a piece of information." Ironhide said.
"Sold-!" she said, bouncing to receive her price.
Ironhide knelt down to give her a hug, "What's the information?" she asked eagerly as she nestled her head against his.
"The information is about what this 'replacement thing' is."
"Oh." She said, sounding slightly disappointed. "I do know what it is; I just don't know the name." she explained. Then she looked pleased as she stepped back, "I know where it goes." She adored her guardians with all her spark, and it gave her pleasure to no end to please them; she knew Ironhide would like it that she knew about cannons.
"Let's see then," Ironhide said, holding the cannon out for her to look at. The others watched.
She cocked her head and motioned for him to turn it over, which he did, and then she undid part of the paneling. "Um…" she slid back another part of the weapon and carefully took out a piece. She glanced up and smiled at his intent expression. "There. It goes in here. Ooo…! These wires need to be replaced, too."
"You know about guns." Ironhide said, astonished, impressed, and pleased. The other mechs grinned at the wonderful look at Ironhide's face. Ratchet covered his optics; the weapons specialist was going to be insufferably pleased with his youngling more than ever now.
Auri, oblivious to the audience, nodded, thrilled with her guardian's reaction, "Lots, and lots. But I've never fired one."
"N-…?" Now he was astonished and confused.
"My old guardian always had lots and lots and LOTS to clean. So, after awhile, I picked up on the process. I worried my guardian a bit to start with, but I got it figured out." She slid the replacement into place with a soft click. "I can take apart whole cannons and put them back together again. May I stay and learn to shoot?" she asked, looking up at him.
He shook his head. "No. Not right now." He said.
She looked disappointed but didn't say anything.
Ironhide rose, "I will show you within a few days."
She looked pleased. "Alright! May I stay and watch instead?"
"Ah…" he paused, "Well,"
"He means 'no'." Ratchet said bluntly.
Ironhide glared at the medic but crouched down to and turned a gentle face to Auri, "We're rough-housing, my little one, and… This is the mechs' equivalent of bond-time." He explained.
She paused to process for a moment. "I had better leave you mechs then. The femmes talk about cannons, old times, and 'the other make' when they have bond-time."
Ironhide nodded.
Auri went up to hug her guardian again. "Okay. I will see you later,"
"Yes; bye for now, my femme-ling."
"Bye…" she turned slowly to leave and walked off a little ways before cheering up and scampering down the hill.
"Awwww." Inferno said. "It's a good thing Firestar and I aren't her guardians…" he shook his head. "Mech, she'd shatter my spark with one little pout if I told her no."
Ironhide chuckled at him. Ratchet muttered something about spoiling sparklings, but Optimus smiled.
"Is she aware that she has 4.8 tons of soft, malleable metal in her little hands?" the leader asked.
"Not at all." Ironhide said. "Besides, she doesn't have '4.8 tons of soft, malleable metal in her little hands.' I'm not going to spoil her."
"Brave words." Ratchet replied. "Brave words. When are you going to teach her how to shoot?"
"Tomorrow." Ironhide said.
The following morning, true to his word, Ironhide gave Auri a lesson in cannon-practice. They went through none of the drama they had gone through with the self-defense lessons. Ironhide was glad, for that meant that things were improving in Auri's processors. Auri was happy with the lesson, pleased that she was developing another skill.
"Y'know," Ironhide said when they were finished with the lesson. "Sunstreaker and Sideswipe are sitting on the challenge course playing video games. Why don't you go give them something more real to dodge."
Auri cocked her head, considering it. "Is that safe?"
"Not for them it ain't." Ironhide said, grinning with ominous glee.
"Well… okay," she said, grinning as she caught on to her guardian's mischievous intent.
Ironhide hunkered down, "Now, here's what you do…"
The bright and shiny twins were sitting behind a wall, preserving their paint jobs while fighting virtual battles. They bickered pleasantly over their inter-com. and tried to out-shoot each other.
"BANG! You're both offline!" A small 'Bot yelled, jumping between them, knocking them over with a simulated blast from twin mini-cannons.
"WHOA!" "WHAAAAAT-?" they yelled, rolling and springing up with battle-masks engaged.
Auri grinned up at them.
"What do you think you are doing?" Sunstreaker demanded, gusting air through his venting system to cool off the emergency programs that had kicked in when she scared him.
"I could ask the same thing of you," she said before blowing at the end of the right the mini-cannon.
"You'd have to drag it out of us." Sideswipe said, teasing.
"I could do that…" She bragged like Ironhide, missing that fact that her hero was much, much larger.
"Nevermind." Sunstreaker wasn't interested in having his twin and the femme bickering. "How do you like NEST Base so far?"
"I'm liking it. Ironhide just finished giving me a shooting lesson." She replied, smiling. "Y'know, I haven't seen you since that first day."
"Ah, yeah. We've been a little busy." The twins gave each other a brief glance, mutually agreeing to tell what they'd been doing but to keep secret the part about Prowl throwing them in the brig for switching letters on the humans' key boards among other things. "We've been on Base a little, but we've also been on patrols, here and there. We fought with a Decepticon one day." Sunny said,
"Then once we got back there were all kinds of reports to make." Sides continued, "And making reports is not fun stuff."
"It takes hours." Sunny muttered.
"Hours? Why so long?" Auri asked.
"Wording, and getting all the details, and phrasing, and paragraphs, and ALL in English, too, so the humans can read it."
"We don't have Document translators?" programs in her data-bank were booting up at the prospect of making a translator system.
"No. We don't even have a keyboard for our glyphs that allows us to type in Cybertronian." Sunny said, and Sides added, "We use a touch-pad to write in Cybertronian, and those don't interlink with typed documents."
"Hmm… Mmm… That shouldn't be too big of a problem to overcome…" She mused. This would be a good, interesting challenge to take on.
"Too big? Ha! How about too time-consuming and boring." Sunny threw his hands in the air.
'Sides shook his head. "Sunny and I don't mind hacking stuff; that's fairly easy. But, writing whole programs? No way."
"Yeah," Sunny averred, "The 'Bots that have the time don't have the inclination, and the 'Bots that have the inclination don't have the time."
"So, there are 'Bots who are inclined?" Auri asked; they could get together in a group and work that way.
"Errr… Make that 'there is one 'Bot.' Prowl."
"I think I may go talk to Prowl." One Bot was better than none, and Prowl was… well, she admired him from a distance. He had such a cool job.
"You just got started talking to us, though!" The twins protested.
"No, I mean, after I'm finished with you."
"Yeah!" Sides said. "We had some pretty interesting experiences off-base you'd probably like to hear about."
Auri nodded, "I like to hear about adventures."
Sunny grinned. "Yeah, well, it was a little boring at first, but then we picked up a hitch-hiker."
"Did he mind?" Auri gasped, envisioning the twins in bi-pedal mode holding a human aloft.
"Oh, no, no, no; I mean, we gave him a lift.-that is, Sunny's holographic driver gave him a lift." 'Sides clarified.
"Oh." Auri said, "So?"
"He sure was a strange fellow." Sunny said, shaking his head. "He was rather raggedy, and grizzled, and he had this bag that he would not put down. He just sat there frowning and holding it tightly. I asked where he was going, y'know, just to be friendly, and he said, 'None-a-yore business!' all curt-like and clutching the bag tighter. And I said, 'oh, okay' and let it drop."
"Then he tried asking what his name was," 'Sides said, "Same answer: 'none-a-yore business!'"
"Then, getting curious, I asked, 'what's in the bag?'" Sunny said. Auri's optics were fairly riveted on the twins. "And he said, 'None-a-yore business!' We drive along a little further, and I ask again, 'dude, what's in the bag?' because I was getting a little concerned, and he snaps "None-a-yore business!' getting ugly. Well, that was enough. I mean, I'll put up with people, but if they act up, I kick them out."
"Well, yeah!" Auri exclaimed, perturbed.
"So I snag the bag with a safety-belt as I slow down, and then shove him out real fast and slam the door. He jumps up yelling, and I speed away." Sunny motioned with his hand, "And that was it." he finished.
"W-What was in the bag?" Auri asked, dying with curiousity.
"None-a-yore business!" Sunny exclaimed, and 'Sides doubled over with laughter.
"Wh…?" Auri gazed at the twins, confused. Then realization that they'd been telling her a tall-tale dawned on her. "OH!"
They both laughed, all the more harder. "Got it?" Sunny asked.
"Got it all over." Auri said grinning, starting to laugh at herself.
Sunny patted her shoulder. "We fell for that one the first time, too."
"'None-a-yore business.'" Auri repeated, giggling. "You're silly mechs."
"Ah… we're cool, too!" Sunny said.
"Real cool!" Sides added, and then Sunny asked, grinning, "Okay, what do you wanna to do now?"
"Take yah on, and take yah apart!" she said, mimicking Ironhide and charging up the mini-cannons. "Simulated battle."
"Awesome!" Sides said.
"YEAH!" Sunny yelled, swinging out his weapons in practice mode. "Let's do it!"