Chapter 11

+ Lucy+

I did something that never in a million years would I have done. I broke right there in front of him. I looked down, ashamed of my weakness as silent tears spilled out of my eyes. I made no effort to wipe them away as I knew that that would be a dead give away that I was actually crying so I let my brown hair shadow my face in hopes that the salty tears would get wiped away in my hair. It was already a mess, sticky and smelling like a toxic zone with the disgusting mixture of sweat and blood in it. A few salty tears would not make a difference.

I felt strong arms engulf me in a hug. Yet my arms were motionless, dead. Not because of the pain, surprisingly though my wound had been very severe I only felt a little stinging pain when I moved, I could definitely live with it. It was the sense of helplessness and betrayal that made me feel so useless, naive and insignificant.

Abused.

I couldn't hold in the whimper that escaped my mouth as I started getting back short images from last night that turned into memories. The feelings, sensations and the pain all came back to me.

How much my cheek stung when he hit me.

The feeling of the unforgiving blade sliding within me.

But worst, the absolute worst of the whole situation was the fact that I couldn't decide if I felt more bad about the fact that my brother had come close to sexually abusing me last night rather than the fact that he really stabbed me with a knife. I had endured practically every type or form of violence. I handled structural violence pretty well because it was in my nature not to give a shit about what people think of me. I don't mind being put down my some slut's comment or by some arrogant ass hole who tried to get himself noticed by messing with the weird girl. I didn't even mind it when my brother made Jules break my heart (even though Jules didn't succeed, I didn't love him in the first place). And physical violence has been something I got used to a long time ago. I knew that I was exploited and mistreated in every way possible. I also knew that I was abandoned by both parents. Bad stuff has been such a constant issue in my life that it has become a routine.

But never ever have I ever been sexually harassed, well, never ever up until yesterday. I think my brother was too wasted to realise what he was doing but the damage was still done and it was unrepairable. Nick's hands woke me up from my nightmare of a daydream.

"Lucy! You're shaking like a leaf. Just tell me what's wrong, I can't bare to see you like this." Nick pleaded me in a whisper of a voice. I felt his lips at my forehead, putting hasty, small kisses on my skin. His grip on me tightened. I huddled up as closer to him as physically possible, making our bodies mould into one. My head found the soft crook of his neck where it settled and we stayed like that for a few minutes. Tears fell freely now that the poker face I usually put up cracked. But Nick's presence soothed me. I didn't know where I would be without him. Though I don't remember much what happened, I'm sure that he saved me from certain death.

As I lay inhaling his scent I realised how much I had become addicted to it. But he fact that I knew that what was going on between us right now was just the product of his pity for me made me furious, frustrated and vulnerable at the same time. I had blown up what we had for my brother. He had warned me against my decision but I decided to go with it so I had to pay the price now. But honestly, if the price was almost risking my virginity I had to say that maybe the price to pay had been too high for me. Destiny had its own twisted way of making my life hell. I'd never forgive myself for what I had done, and now the memory of my brother sexually harassing me would be etched within, reminding me this unforgivable decision.

"It's all going to be alright. Don't worry." he cooed me reassuringly. I nodded, trying to get that through my thick skull, but something from deep within me told me that this wasn't over, that we still had much more troubles that we needed to face. Call it sixth sense or paranoia, but whatever it was it wouldn't allow me to calm down. The sense of safety that I felt was only virtual, non existent. I knew that soon enough when he dropped his arms from around my body I'd be left exposed and all the troubles of the world would come crashing down on me again.

He made me sit down, considering that I was acting like a maniac I was surprised that he wasn't restraining my hands which wrapped themselves around his wrists, making my fingernails dig painfully in his flesh.

"Just calm dow, Lucy. I'll get you a glass of water." he said, but as he tried to step away I gripped at his white shirt. "No! Don't leave me alone!" I pleased. He shushed me. "I'll come back in a second." he insisted. I shook my head vigourousely.

"Nick, if you leave my mind starts thinking and that's the last thing that I want to do." I pleaded. "Just stay. Please." he sighed and sat next to me on the bed. He sighed, lowered his head and rubbed his eyes. Only then I noticed the purple bags looming over his eyes. Hadn't he slept this night?

"I'll stay." he said and despite his obvious tiredness, he clasped my hand in his and smiled a barely there little smile. But even in his presence, my mind still wondered about last night. But who would blame me? I almost died!

Gah, why was everything such a blur? I had lost conscience by the time I heard his voice, so I didn't remember how he managed to save me. I was still finding it difficult to believe that I had survived. I swear that I could feel death's cold grip tight around me, dragging me to the land of the unknown. I needed answers.

"Nick, why am I alive?" I asked him bluntly, cutting to the chase. His eyebrows furrowed. "What do you mean? Aren't you glad that you're alive?"

I looked up to meet his confused eyes. "No, I am. But how's it possible. I lost so much blood. I felt my life slipping from between my fingers, Nick. How can I still be alive?" At my words, he broke our eye contact. "I... you... Lucy, I had to um... give you some of my blood. you where going to die and it was the only way to save you." he confessed. My eyes flew wide open and for a moment, my tongue dried up. I didn't know how to answer. He fed me his own blood. A part of him was flowing through my veins. Was I angry, disgusted? The emotions were swirling within me like a raging tornado.

"Lucy?" he asked me after a while, sounding quite worried. I didn't respond. I was no longer in control of my body. He said my name again. Nothing.

"Just say something. Anything! I'd rather have you shouting at me that deal with this fucking silence!" he said after a while as he shook my shoulder. I swallowed, trying to regain my ability to speak again. After a couple tries, I managed.

"Nick, what does that entitle for us? I remember your dad saying that no vampire should ever give their blood to a human. Why, what would that mean for me?" I asked trying to contain the whimpers.

He pulled me on his laps and wrapped his arms tightly round me. He kissed me softly on my forehead. "I don't know, Luce, but whatever it is we'll get over it together." I smiled, though I was honestly not feeling humorous or happy in any way.

My stomach rumbled hungrily then. Nick laughed lightly. "Time to feed the beast." he said. But then his smile turned sourly into a grimace. "And to tell Sol, I guess."

"She doesn't know yet?" he shook his head.

"We didn't want to tell her, cause you know how she'd act." I nodded in agreement with him.

"I'd rather have her focused and non preoccupied with anything else, at least until she goes through the change. There's no need to tell her. Whatever there was in your blood worked wondered, I'm almost completely healed." I said as I lifted my shirt, exposing the thin pink line and the shiny raw skin around it.

Nick nodded and got off the bed. "I'll go get you something to eat." he said as he made his way to her.

"Nick," I said before he exited and closed the door behind him. "I never thanked you for saving my life." I muttered. I was just about as good with gratitude as I was with apologies.

He grinned. "Anytime, Lucky."

Hope you liked this :)

What do you think about Lucy? How will she handle what her brother did to her and what did Nick's blood do to her? Is she still human?

Find out next time :D