It was at exactly seven that I finally saw Bella. I did it dramatically. She came home and I was there in the hallway with the door closed and the lights off. She turned them on and shrieked when she saw me sitting there in a chair I had dragged into the hallway.
"Isabella Swan." I said smoothly, not giving her time to catch her breath. "You had best have a good reason, that doesn't involve one Edward Cullen, for worrying me." I told her, my hands stenciled in my lap. She looked kind of freaked out but I could hear Charlie chuckling upstairs.
"Uh, um I was with Edward…" She whispered, pulling me with her up into her room, away from Charlie's prying. "Belle, I know. Edward he told me everything, about…about your being a vampire and your… aging gift." She whispered and glanced intently at my face. I stopped for a moment to breathe it in. I guess there was that little part in my mind who still wanted Bella to be too innocent to know, to understand.
"And? I know you two didn't sit around discussing me." I said, flopping onto her bed, smiling. She tentatively, like I was going to explode at her, sat down with me before smiling. "Dish it out for me Bella." I ordered.
"It was awesome." She gushed, explaining how he told her. I scowled at some parts, like the rough way he grabbed her and took her up the mountain, not warning her about the speed. I also didn't like that he didn't bother to tell anyone where he was. Bella was happy though, and that's what mattered.
"…it's just the way he phrased it, you know, 'and so the lion fell in love with the lamb'." She gushed. We'd been talking for an hour about her obsession with Edward that had swiftly turned into love. I knew the feeling. Well, not the obsession but the love I knew…
Whoa…wait….calm down…not happening.
"I'm in love with Jasper Whitlock." I stated out loud, dumbfounded and horrorstruck all in one. I mean I knew I was enamored by him, so much so that I fantasized about his hair. It had never occurred to me that I might love him…because that would mean he was my mate and I don't want to get my hopes up, I don't want to love him and then find out he isn't the one. But he was just so…him that how could I not love him? How did I not see it before? I mean I didn't rush into the relationship, hell I had to go into a dance battle to win his date. Admittedly, he had probably known I was attracted to him, even before he knew that my human form and my vampire one were one and the same.
"You are seriously just now understanding this?" Bella asked me, being inappropriately exasperated. I grabbed her shoulders and looked her right in the eyes.
"Bella you don't understand. Vampires, we have mates. Mates are people that we love forever, someone we would die to keep alive even knowing they'd probably go right after us from loving us to much. Bella, he has to be mine. If he's not my mate…" I dropped that thought before I could get it started.
"Belle, he is your mate." Bella tried to assure me, but I knew she was only now getting this explained to her. It seems that Edward hadn't told her about it. Maybe he was just like me, and needed a little reassuring that Bella was it for him.
"How do you know?" I begged for any kind of reassurance that what I was feeling was the real deal.
"Because Belle I can see the way he looks at you." She said softly. "When you look away…You thought Edward was the only one who was staring at a Swan? I don't even know if Jasper knew he was doing it but his eyes were on you at all times, ever since we tripped together that day. His eyes say it all. Usually he looks like he's in pain but when he's standing with you it's like it all washes away." Bella smiled kindly at me. I couldn't help the fluttery feeling or the happy tears that spilt down my cheeks.
"I'm in love with Jasper Whitlock!" I exclaimed again, happier. "I'm in love with him!" I shouted this time before I got up off the bed and started Emmett's happy dance, and managed to look like a weird walrus who was making a snow angel. It got Bella laughing but I couldn't help the way my heart felt like it had grown in size and it was trying to beat out of my chest. Well…it was kind of painful, like my change but it was the good pain, the pain that I knew I was giving my heart over to someone who could crush it. But I had faith that Jasper wouldn't.
"Oh," I blinked, my mouth frowning.
"What now?" Bella asked me. I turned to her, sitting back on her bed. She really needed to get a bigger one but I guess the bed was big enough for her…or well Edward and her.
"I was just thinking….when I tell him…" I said and for once I felt vulnerable with my sister. Usually, I was the mature one. Yeah, I acted younger but I like to because I was changed when there was no acting like this and I enjoyed being me here. But it was nice to still know more than her and to know that she could come to me with any thing and I could help her. I've never needed advice before…and I've certainly never had anyone who I could trust with myself. But now I had Jasper. To bad I needed advice about him….but I'd never thought about Bella.
"What is it?" She asked, moving closer to me. Now she knew the danger she was in. Yeah, I'm an old vampire and I didn't think about blood even half as much as others but that didn't mean that I wasn't dangerous for her. She really does attract danger like a magnet.
"Nothing…I'm just happy that you finally know." I confessed. She grinned, like I'd just swept away some kind of worry of hers. "What? Did you think I wouldn't be happy?" I asked her incredulously. My arms were around her in a moments notice as I tugged her close to me. "Bella, you are the only human that I could see ever sharing this with."
"What about Charlie?" She asked me, still vulnerable.
"Please. I love Charlie, he's the best father I have ever had and will probably ever have, not comparing to Carlisle since I don't see Carlisle that way." I told her, pulling back to look her in the face to talk to her, I even moved a few inches back. "But despite that, I could never make him live this life of secrets. He's not quite over Renee, as you've seen and I can't see him taking another blow, like me leaving in the future, because I still don't die you know." I told her.
"Okay, I get it, I get it." She said pulling herself together.
"Honestly, Bella you should have more confidence in yourself." I told her, ruffling her hair.
"But we weren't talking about me, you changed the topic." She accused and I sighted.
"Guilty as charged." I said raising my hand then letting it fall to my leg. "It's just…he feels my emotions and I want my first time telling him to be romantic. How can I make it romantic if he already knows that I love him?" I asked her, flopping down on her bed. She lay down beside me as well so we were both staring at the ceiling. "How do I even know that I want to tell him yet? We've only been on one date. I don't want it to be to fast for him." I explained my fears. "It's just hard…I guess. I don't want him to be rushed into anything with me and especially if he doesn't feel the same, after all I am really old-"
"Belle!" She interrupted me as I slowly started working myself into a fit. I let out a long deep breath and groaned, rubbing my eyes. "Belle, you are beautiful and I know he already loves you. Even Edward didn't do what he did for you." She told me. I blinked and looked at her. "Jasper went on a date with you. He actually wanted to go on a date. I'm not in anyway saying that I want that, because Edward…sort of took me on a date but Jasper actually cared to take you on a date first." She told me but I snorted.
"Bella I asked him out on that date, actually I won a dance competition against Emmett where I got to go on a date with him in return." I told her, bitterly. Don't get me wrong, it was the best date in the world, and I loved winning his affections but I couldn't help the doubt.
"And what did he do?" Bella said after a moment when she got over the funniness of Emmett and I dancing it out.
"What do you mean?" I asked, turning to face her. She copied me and smiled humorously. Oh, she was enjoying this.
"Well, did he complain that he didn't want to be a prize or what?" She asked me. I thought back to the night. We'd cleared the living room out and we'd had Carlisle, the ever neutral coven leader, to turn on the radio and switch it to an anonymous channel. Then I got a little hope.
"Well….when Emmett was dancing, rather good actually, he…well…" I giggled and Bella's eyebrows pulled down in frustrated confusion.
"He did what?" Bella whined.
"He tripped Emmett while Emmett was about to power slide." I told her. Her face slackened for a moment before she burst into a fit of laughter. I couldn't help it because as much as just the image made her laugh, the actual memory made me laugh harder until we were both gasping for breath and clutching each other.
"Oh my God, if that wasn't proof that he wanted to go on the date, then you are screwed." She said, giggling still and I smiled at her.
"You always can cheer me up." I sighed at her, and she stopped giggling to smile at me.
"Well, you are my sister, it's my job to make sure you are happy. I may not be able to hurt Jasper if he hurts you, but I can try and keep you from making mistakes in your relationship." She told me seriously but then cracked a smile. "I can always have Edward hit him for me." She teased. "Cause it seems that you are having second thoughts."
"Na, as awesome as it would be to see Jasper kick Edwards ass, I don't think I need to see that just yet." I said and I laughed when my comment made her loyalty to Edward spike.
"Edward could kick Jasper's ass." She challenged. I grinned wickedly.
"Please. Jasper has experience from the military!" I scoffed at her.
"So! Edward can read minds!" She challenged and I narrowed my eyes playfully.
"Jasper has been around Edward long enough to control his thoughts. Even I've thought up some thing's and I don't even need to." I said, leaning on my elbow to look down at her. She frowned and I could see she'd already abandoned the playful argument to find something else new out.
"Why can't he read your thoughts if you aren't my biological sister? I mean it can't be just the Swans either because Charlie's mind can be read." Bella asked me. I thought about it for a minute.
"Maybe…" I said slowly. "Maybe it's because my mind is the only thing that doesn't change – well besides the eyes and ability to smell vampires – It could be that he might have been able to read my mind before I first changed my age. I guess that with every change I make my mind changes complexity and he just can't read it because my mind has been switched so many times." I theorized before blinking. "You know I've never really minded. I felt better that he couldn't hear my thoughts about Jasper." I grinned when she rolled her eyes.
"I was glad that he couldn't read my mind." She told me and I blinked because I'd ignored the context clues but it made since that his fascination with her had started because he couldn't read her mind. I was just glad that he hadn't thought that I was the gorgeous one. How awkward would that have been? "Probably for the same reason that you didn't want him reading your mind." She confessed. I grinned.
"Ou did you get dirty about Edward?" I asked Bella and she shoved me and I laughed at her flushed expression. "I knew you did. But all kidding aside, I do get it. But Bella, I know this is all pretty fast for you." I told her, finally getting completely serious. "I want you to know, that for me I knew you first, and you are my sister." I told her. True, Jasper as my mate meant everything to me but Bella meant everything to me to. I'd hate for them to be at odds at anytime because I already knew who I would choose without fault.
"I know, and you are mine." She promised, squeezing my hand but her face changed for a moment.
"What is it?" I asked her. She fidgeted a bit before seeming to give in.
"Will you show me, what you really look like?" She asked me. I was cautious and I pursed my lips.
"Are you sure? I don't know if now is the time for you to see that. Your psych has been through a lot. I don't think it could take me changing into a vampire in front of you to. You've known me for so long that it might frighten you worse then what Edward showed you." I told her. "I don't want to make you uncomfortable." I told her, sitting up completely and she followed me with a determined face.
"I want to see the real you." She told me stubbornly and I sighed before standing up.
"All right then." I told her. I looked at her, the trusting gaze and I slowly let the change take over. I felt every molecule of my body shift and become indestructible, my eyes became the golden color of an animal drinker and my hair grew longer. I opened my eyes, not having known I'd closed them to smile at her. She looked in awe and her hand was over her mouth. I knew how weird it looked when I was in control, when I made myself turn. I'd hate for her to see me when it forced itself out of me. Not only was it…painful but it was hideous and most of the time when I'm forced into vampire mode I lose control for some time after it.
"That was…" Bella breathed, standing up. I stayed unnaturally still, the only movement I made was with my eyes to warily watch her come closer. Her hand came up, to touch my cheek but she hesitated.
"It's all right Bella." I told her, grinning at her. She touched my cheek and I winked at her. "I'm still Belle, just a little more…well vampire." I told her, grinning.
"I feel so…" Bella said and I frowned when her face turned from awe to sadness. "I feel like, everyone is so beautiful and I'm just…plain Bella." She muttered, falling back on the bed. I moved and sat beside her, turning back to myself so she might be more comfortable with it.
"Bella, you are far better than me in everyway possible. You are caring, and everything I could possibly say to you but the only thing that I think will work is that no matter how many abnormalities I seem to come up with, you still want to be my best friend. For that, I owe you." I told her strongly. She smiled at me but I knew she didn't believe me. "Honestly, I don't know why you think so little of yourself when every boy in Forks wants to screw your brains out." Just to be funny I dry humped the air. Just like I planned, laughter spilled out of her mouth.
"Thank you for that." Bella said and I was pleased to see that she wasn't as self conscious.
"Well, I think we both need sleep. If you have something you want to tell me or ask me then it can wait." I told her, getting up and stretching a bit. "At least until morning that is." I said, yawning. I headed out the door calling a good night to Charlie who I passed on the way to the bathroom where I took a long, pleasant shower before plopping on my bed for the sweet release of sleep.
I think this is the last one that I had prewritten. I'm not sure. I've been trying to write some more these last two days, because I finally got to see breaking Dawn. Let me explain this torture to you! See I was at my Grandparents house on vacation and they are really strict to the book Christians and I have no problem with that. I do have a problem with them 'subtly' trying to tell me I'm going to hell because I like a book about vampires and werewolves. So I couldn't go with her and I wasn't going alone to have all of those feelings hitting me. I met my mother and she took me to see it and .God.
There were so many broken feelings trying to crush me the entire movie, especially the SPOLIER vision that Alice had….evil little movie people. When the fight happened, or more when Alice broke away I was like whoa this isn't in the movie. At first I thought they were merely trying to expand the scene and then people started dying. Everyone in the theatre was screaming.
Anyways. What I really want to tell you is that I have found a new love. Garrett. There are no words for how sexy I find him. I don't care that he's a human drinker that vampire is one of the most delicious people that I've ever seen.
The point in me telling you this is because I was thinking that when I finish this series, or before that maybe, I was going to do a break off of this story where she ends up with Garrett. Would you read it? I would still make the whole Jasper thing…probably. XD