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"oh will you quit stairing?" Hermione said as Draco opened the door to the bathroom as she was coming out. She was only in a red fluffy towel that was tied around bust, her hair was wet and she had a brush in her hand. Draco couldn't help but examine her entire body from head to toe, she was so delectable.
"sor, sorry Granger," he said pulling his gaze away and walking into the bathroom. Hermione walked back to her bedroom and felt Draco's eyes on her until she closed her door. As she got ready for classes she was stuck in an emotional pit of confusion and choices that could change the course of her life forever.
What had happened with Draco the previous night, she didn't regret it, did she? It had been the most amzing feeling in the world, she had never experienced it before, and only hoped she could again, but it was Malfoy. She had been furious with Harry and Ron and Neville, but her anger had died down a little and she was now just mad at them. She began to wonder if Draco really liked her, if he did, and he wasn't just using her the night before, then the situation was even more complicated.
As much as Hermione wanted to act like the kiss never happened, she never wanted to forget it, and thought she wouldn't. it was too good, to passionate, to right to forget. But she was still enaged to Harry, still loved him, but how could she deny these feelings that she had for Draco. She didn't know how she should act around any of the men in her life at the moment, but knew she had to make a choice a desion, even if it pained her.
After dressing for school, she walked across the hall to Draco's room knocking on the door.
"come in," he said and she did. He stood there, a towel hanging dangerously low around the waist.
'Draco, why must you make this hard?' she said in her head, trying to keep her eyes on his face.
"we need to talk about what happened last night," Hermione said holding onto the door knob for support. She watched as he ran a comb threw his hair.
"which part?" he asked with a devilish smirk.
"I think you know Malfoy," she said, he loved making this difficult for her.
"you mean the part where you grabbed my wrist and begged me to stay with you, or the part where you cuddle up against me, or the part where you kissed me?" he said and loved how her nose scrunched, trying to contain his anger.
"Draco Malfoy, you are lousy! You're the one who led me back to the dorms holding my hand, you're the one who wrapped me in your arms, you're the one who was playing with my hair, and you're the one who asked to kiss me, I merely let it happen!" she said, her hands at her sides now.
"Hermione, calm down, I wasn't trying to upset you," he said approaching her, as much as she wanted nothing more than to rip the towel off of his body, and have him tear her clothes off violently, she knew it would be to hard to control her self if he came any closer, she backed up a little.
"but in all seriousness, we do need to talk about it," Hermione said, her voice stammering a little. She was agints the door now, no where else to go. Draco was on top of her. His arms on the door like the night before, making it impossible to escape. His chest leaning into hers, her knees went weak at his smell.
'so its his body wash that makes him smell so desireable. Wait focus,' she scolded her self.
"do you regret it?" he asked, bringing his face close to hers.
"not exactly, no," she said, fighting every urge in her body to bring her lips to his.
"neither did I," he whispered into her ear, making sure to blow into it. he felt her shudder and close her eyes and hold her hands against the door.
'score one for Draco,' he thought as he backed away.
"now turn around," he said.
"why?" she asked.
"I need to change, unless you want to watch," he suggested, she rolled her eyes and turned around, she began to finger the wood knots in the door.
"Draco, I, I just don't know what to do," she said after a few seconds of silence. He took a breath tyring to figure out the best phrasing for what he wanted to say.
"Hermione, I have feelings for you, strong feelings, and my regret is that I haven't acted upon them sooner. I understand the situation you're in, I know its hard, I cant fault you for which ever choice you make, but no one ever said you couldn't have both of us," he replied and she turned around in outrage.
"I have never cheated, and I don't intend to. it wouldn't be fair to Harry or you," she said, happy that he at least had pants on.
"what is fair in love and war?" he asked.
"is that your line or something?" she asked putting her hands on her hips.
"but seriously Hermione what is, Harry leaves you for weeks at a time, and expects you to be faithful? Espicallly when he keeps you in the dark?" he said pulling his shirt on.
"you even said so yourself last night Draco, that he does it because he loves me," she said, half of her agreed with Draco, the other wanted to scream at him.
"he does, but the question is, do you?" he replied and he began to button up his shirt.
"of course I do-," Draco cut her off.
"I see the way you act when he starts talking about the wedding, I see the way you drift off, trying to find anything else to keep your mind off of it. why?" he asked softly.
"i-, because, I don't," she said stumbling for words. He didn't smirk, he didn't smile, he just stood there expresonless. "I mean, its scary, that's all."
"shouldn't you be extatic right now, and scared closer to the wedding?" he asked, only confirming a question she had asked her self repeaditly.
"times are a little different right now, and considering the position Harry is in…" her voice trailed off because as much as she could read into his eyes, he could read into hers.
"you said yes because he wanted you to," he said softly. She looked down, ashamed that someone had found out.
"I do love him," she said kicking the ground with her toe a little.
"Hermione," he said in the gentlest voice she had ever heard from him. "you cant marry someone only because they want you too. You have to want to, you have to be happy," he said and wanted to touch her shoulder, but knew that could cloud her judgement.
"I am happy, and, he needs me," she said the latter just barely audiable.
"you're not truly happy," he said.
"and you can make me feel that way?" she said looking up to him, tears brimming her eyes.
"I can try," he replied. He watched as one tear escaped and ran down her cheek, as he went to go wipe it away she turned and walked out the door.
"I'll, I'll see you in class," she said as she flew down the stairs, unsure of what her actions should be next. She had only viewed two paths. A life with Harry and a life with Draco, but now a third was emerging, a life with both of them. She would have to lie to her first love, and be two peoples hearts at once, but his words that he would try and make her happy only made her question the path even more, made her truly consider it.
she wasn't sure what she was doing when she got to the Great Hall for breakfast. Everything seemed so normal, even though her world was upside down. she saw Harry, Ron and Neville all sitting, at the end of the table. Barely picking at their food. They looked upset and were not talking, they looked like they hadn't slept all night. Hermione put on a smile and marched down the table and took her seat next Harry.
"morning guys," she said reaching over for some toast. They all looked to each other and then to her.
"Hermione!" they screamed and all went to hug her, Ron and Neville succsuflly knocking over a pitcher of pumkin juice.
"calm down," she said laughing a little, she saw Draco walk into the Great Hall, he looked to her but she looked away.
"Hermione we were talking about it, we're so sorry, we shouldn't have pushed you away, we just cared for you so much. And you're right, we all know the risk and as much as we want to protect you we are doing more of a deserive to you and harming you more by not telling you anything," Harry said throwing her into a hug.
"we are going to tell you everything," Ron and Neville said at the same time.
"I'm sorry guys, I overreacted too," she said as Harry kissed her cheek, her eyes darted over to the slythern table just in time to see Draco look away disusted with Harry's affection.
"lets go some place private," Ron said standing up. The three of them followed, Hermione had the rest of her toast in hand. They walked threw out the building until they came to a stair case that wasn't used that frequently.
"where to start," Harry said as Hermione sat down. Neville sat down next to her and Ron sat on the banister, Harry stood facing them.
"middle of sixth year," Hermione said recalling when she was first being pushed away. as Harry and Ron told her the details of what had happened since that Christmas, she sat in shock. So much had changed since she was included in the trio, she realized how much older they had become in nine months, and she admired them.
"and then Neville began joining us, he basically took your job," Ron said.
"what do you mean my job? I was never included in any of these hunts," Hermione replied.
"we got information out of you with out you realizing it, how to battle creatures, curses," Harry said and began listing different things they had used against death eaters and traps they had fallen into. "Neville took over the job of the brains."
"but I still use you too Hermione, you know so much more than I ever could," Neville quickly interjected and she gave a small smile, unsure of whether to take it as a compliment or not.
"he is also our main communication with Hogwarts and the order while we are away," Harry added recalling everything that he had left Hermione out of.
"and what about you and Ron, these horcruxes you go looking for, what are they?" she asked and they began to explain to her how they were voldemorts soul.
"there's two left, and we think we know where they are," Ron said almost excitedly.
"see, trying to find them, locate them has been the hardest thing, well next to the traps voldemorts put on them. He's hidden them all over, remember the time last year when we came back and I was in the hospital wing for a week?" Harry asked and Hermioine nodded. "a potion he used, one of us had to drink it, and it made us dying of thirst, we were on an island, but we couldn't drink the water because of the inferii that were there, but then Ron-,"
"hey, you were about to die, and I had it covered!" Ron snapped back.
"Ron took the goblet and filled it with water and gave it too me. only then the inferii started to attack."
"and I said the fire spell and all was well, except for the fact it took you a week to recover, but other wise it was okay," Ron said with a smile. In a way the guys were taking it so lightly, but for Hermione it was hard to comprehend. She knew that they were brave and courageous for what ever they were doing, knew that they were risking their lives, but she never realized how close to death they had come so many times.
They continued with the stories of their trips, leaving Hermione gasping and laughing at certain parts of the story.
"we're sorry we didn't tell you, but if you still want to help, you could help Neville out," Harry said, he was sitting in front of Hermione now, his head leaning agiants her knee.
"sometimes it gets hard, keep track of all these loose ends, and with this," he said tapping his head. "it can get a little tricky. I could really use your help." Hermione gave a silent gulp, but then looked into all of their eyes.
"of course I'll help, I'll do everything I can," she said and they all got smiles on their faces and hugged her.
"now we're already on the hunt for the next horcurx. All we need to do is recover a little from this last trip, and then we're off to the orphanage Voldemort was in when he was a kid," Harry replied.
"you really think that he would put something so important in such an open place, I mean, its not exactly the smartest thing a person could do," she said thinking about all the places you could hide a horcurxe and not get caught.
"he's a sentilmental man," Ron said and the guys began to laugh, apparently an inside joke that Hermione didn't get. She smiled.
She admired these men, they were her friends, lovers, and confidants. They were the force that was going to change the world forever.
All Malfoy wanted was to talk to her, but he had given up on that nights ago. It was Friday night, and Draco lay in bed hoping that sleep would find him faster tonight than it had previous nights. Since that night of the kiss, and the following morning Hermione had avoided him at all costs. She came in much later than he was used to, and left even before he woke up. He never saw her looking at him in the Great Hall, and in classes couldn't get near her because of the people she was surrounded with all the time.
When the night came that it was their turn to do rounds, he had never looked forward to anything more, but he had found when a sixth year prefect from Ravenclaw came up to him, that Hermione was not feeling well and had gone to the hospital wing. He knew she wasn't there, probolly in the arms of Potty instead. He was so jealous, yet couldn't do anything about it. the descion was Hermione's. he prayed that she would choose him, that he could kiss her and hold her, and be with her unencumbered, but with the reaction he was getting this week he didn't know how likely that was. Hermione would never have him, would never have both men at the same time. It was asking her too much, and it was wrong. They hated each other, for seven years they hated each other, they were opposites, everything was different about them, all of it made what could be a relationship between them so wrong, yet all Draco could consider was holding Hermione in his arms. He didn't care how wrong it was, he wanted both of them to be happy.
'just let her go Draco. She hasn't acknowledged you once, she is not going to start to now. You never had a chance with her, not when it comes down to Potty being the chosen one, and Ron, and Neville. You're different, you're better, you'll get over it,' he told him self as he tried to get comfortable in his sheets. But he knew hew as wrong. He wasn't better than Hermione, she was so much better than him, she would always be, there was no comparison.
'just get over her, tomorrow, after the quidditch match, you'll go with the first girl who catches your eye, you'll bang her in the locker room,' he couldn't help but think, and he got a smirk on his face just at the thought, he hadn't thought about having sex all week with out anyone else but Hermione. Now beginning to accept that it would never happen, he forced him self to look at the other options of girls out there, there were so many.
'now get some sleep, you need to win tomorrow.' With that he shut his eyes, shutting off his thoughts as much as he could, but he couldn't help for a few images of Hermione to get into his head, her scent trigging his memory.
'just forget her.'