The featured short is 1954's Bewitched Bunny, the first appearance of Witch Hazel. Thanks to mabelreid for the suggestion!

"You have a sister?" Garcia asked, genuinely surprised.

"Yeah. Claudia. She's actually my stepsister—her mom married my dad when we were like, two and three—but as far as she and I are concerned…" Kevin noticed the look on his best girl's face and hastily added, "She's, uh, married now, to a nice guy working on the base. Flies helicopters for the Marine Corps."

"Your sister lives at Quantico?" JJ asked.

"Yeah, over in the family housing—two kids," Kevin beamed, pulling out his wallet. "The little one's my niece Claire, and the big guy in the pumpkin outfit is my nephew Zack. He's five."

"Oh, I'm so looking forward to Thanksgiving!" Garcia cooed. "They're adorable! Look at her little itty-bitty nose…!"

"So don't set a place for you this year, Garcia?" JJ teased.

"Of course!" Then the tech thought a moment. "Well, save some ice cream and pie—I'll need something to snack on whilst helping you watch the Lions lose…"

"True that," JJ agreed. Every year she rooted for the Lions (unless, of course, the Redskins were playing on Thanksgiving Day), and most of the time she was disappointed by the end of the night.

"Found it," Reid said breathlessly, waving the disc in his hands. Soon Bugs Bunny was doing a fair recitation of the fairy tale of Hansel and Gretel.

"Don't you love how he breaks off reading at the precise moment her line in the book comes up?" Kevin said. "Old girl's got some magical talent, there…"

"It's timing, Kevin," Garcia argued. "Just cause you don't like Bugs…"

"It's not that I don't like him," Kevin sputtered. "I just like seeing him lose once in a while."

"Sounds like you don't like him to me," Rossi muttered. Just then the sight of two fat, cherubic children with bad German accents filled the screen.

"Oh, God," Emily cried. "Uber-children!"

"She got to them already!" Garcia spluttered, horrified.

"Nah, they're supposed to be like that," Kevin reassured them. "She's a trip, that old girl…"

"Oh, yes, let's teach kids to follow strange women so they can eat ice cream and get stuck in a roaster," Hotch said, showing a side to him that the team normally didn't get to see.

"Was that sarcasm, Hotch?" Morgan asked.

"I'm serious."

"Apparently."

"Shh," the techs hissed, and soon fat Hansel and chubby Gretel hurled a rather clever insult to the witch before taking off into safety.

"Your mother rides a vacuum cleaner?" Emily giggled. "Pretty good."

"I'd have said something else," Morgan said.

"Oooh, what?"

"There's ladies present."

"Aww, you're no fun." Emily put on a mock-pout, her head still reeling from her earlier imbibing.

"Look, now she's decided to eat rabbit instead," Kevin chortled. "Yeah, you and your generous contributions, indeed!"

Will, meanwhile, was chuckling softly. "Sidesaddle," he murmured.

"What about it?" JJ wondered.

"Riding sidesaddle does prove a lady's quality," he explained.

"I don't…"

"Women weren't supposed to have their legs apart, JJ," Emily chimed in. "Today it's still a taboo in high society, but most women are pretty progressive."

"Aha."

The antics continued onscreen, and suddenly the team fell into fits of laughter as Witch Hazel made herself laugh with double entendre.

"She is a riot!" Garcia said, tears rolling down her face.

"And look! "In case of emergency, break glass'!" Rossi howled. "Huh. I wonder what the powder does…"

All eyes were fixed on the poor witch as she turned into a beautiful female companion for the harried Bugs. Then the short ended.

"Women are not witches," Emily said.

"Yes, they are," Will countered.

"How so, smart guy? Remember, I'm armed."

Will looked at his friend suspiciously. "Just kidding, I left it home," she said finally. "But seriously, what makes you think we're witches?"

"Girls always know what buttons to push on a guy to make them do whatever they want," the Southerner said. "Plus, they're beautiful."

"Well, it's a two-way street. I'm not exactly in a room full of ugly men."

Now the whole room really bursted into chuckles. "Someday you and I will have a sit-down about this," Emily promised Will. "But not now. My head hurts."

The room exploded louder, and no one noticed Rossi poring over the lists of cartoons available to them. Suddenly he picked up a disc and handed it to the night's impresario. "How about this one?" he asked.