Part 11

When Kurt comes back to himself, he realizes that the shower water has gone cold. He shivers and swings his leg out of the tub. He doesn't feel ready to stand, so he just places both feet flat on the bathroom floor and rests. Karofsky still straddling the edge of the bathtub; he doesn't seem intent on moving. His head is tilted back, and his eyes are closed. Kurt can see the long stretch of Karofsky neck and the rise and fall of his chest as he regains his breath.

Just when things start to slide from pleasant afterglow into uncomfortable silence, Karofsky says, "That was fucking amazing."

Kurt laughs. "Definitely gay, huh?"

Karofsky snorts and replies, "Definitely. It was nothing like that with Brittany or Santana."

Kurt chooses to ignore the references to the girls and instead focuses on the positive. Look at how easily he's admitting to being gay. Just yesterday he was breaking down. Today he's joking."Yeah, me too." Karofsky raises an eyebrow and Kurt realizes how that could sound. "I mean, I'm definitely gay too."

The jock snorts again. "Yeah. I didn't have any doubt of that."

The assumption pisses Kurt off. "Just because someone likes fashion and singing doesn't mean they're gay," he snaps. "That's stereotyping." Karofsky should know that more than anyone.

Karofsky raises his hands. "Dude, I don't want to fight with you right now. It's ruining my buzz."

Kurt splutters, wouldn't want that, now would we?Still, he swallows down his retort as well as his annoyance. Karofsky rolls his eyes and stands. Kurt can't help but stare at the mess on both of their stomachs. "Now I really need a shower." He reaches over and turns up the hot water, praying that there's some left. The cold water turns warm. It's not as hot as Kurt likes, but he figures if he gets in quick he might get out before it runs completely cold.

"I'll go get some more towels," Karofsky says and leaves the bathroom.

Kurt steps inside the shower. He's starting to feel awkward. He yanks the shower curtain shut and reaches forward to grab the shampoo bottle. It's a generic brand, and Kurt stares at it in horror. He pops open the lid then brings the bottle to his nose. It smells like the stuff that comes out of the soap dispensers at the mall.

The bathroom door opens again and Kurt hears Karofsky's footsteps. Kurt has a moment of panic, Is he going to get in the shower with me? His heart starts to pound. Stop being stupid,he tells himself. He and Karofsky just gave each other spectacular hand jobs. Taking a shower with the boy isn't anything.

Setting the bottle back on the shelf in the shower, Kurt sticks his head outside of the curtain. "Do you have any shampoo and conditioner that aren't made by Kroger?" Kurt eyes the bar of soap sitting in the little dish. "And body wash?" Karofsky sets the pile of towels on the toilet seat then stares at Kurt. He looks a little like a deer in headlights¸Kurt thinks. The jock's eyes are wide and his mouth is open.

"Uh…" Karofsky says then rubs the back of his head, showing off a decent amount of underarm hair. "My mom might have some." Kurt just looks at him and waits. After a moment of uneasy silence, Karofsky says, "I guess I'll go see." He pads out of the bathroom. Kurt gets a look at a firm ass, and suddenly, his own mouth is open.

Definitely not chubby,Kurt thinks for the second time. He gets back under the warm spray and splashes the water over his messy skin.

"Here." Two hands stick around the side of the curtain holding three bottles.

Herbal Essences, not bad.Kurt smells both the hair products. They're meant for women with colored hair, but Kurt figures he can't have everything. At least they smell good.The body wash is still a generic brand, but it's pink and smells like raspberries. Kurt figures that's acceptable too. Hair or body first?

"Can I come in?" Kurt can see the outline of Karofsky's body through the shower curtain. He's struck by howbig the boy actually is. Big shoulders, big hands, big feet.

You know what big feet mean,Kurt thinks, then snorts at himself. You know how big that is too. You just had your hand around it.Kurt stares at his hand. I gave a boy a hand job.He flushes.

"Hello?" Karofsky says, voice soft.

"Sure," Kurt replies. Karofsky doesn't come in right away. His hand wraps around the shower curtain and pauses. Kurt counts seven heartbeats, then without fully pulling back the curtain, Karofsky steps inside. His eyes rake over Kurt then quickly look away. Kurt swallows down the lump in his throat.

Standing this close to each other, Kurt realizes they're almost the same height. Karofsky has maybe an inch on him, but in heels or lifts, Kurt would be taller than the other boy. Somehow, the thought calms his nerves.Courage.The word- Blaine's word- pops into Kurt's head, and he almost laughs. I don't think this is what Blaine meant when he told me to be courageous with Karofsky.Still, the feeling applies.

Kurt shoves the bottle of body wash towards Karofsky. "Here, wash my back," he demands, turning around. He pretends to ignore Karofsky's surprised look and squirts of the shampoo into his hand. As he works it into his hair he hears Karofsky squeeze some of the body wash into his own hands. He's expecting the touch, but Kurt can't help himself from jolting forward when Karofsky slides his slick hand across Kurt's back.

Calm down,Kurt tells himself. He massages the shampoo into his hair. He feels soapy bubbles traveling down his skin. Karofsky's hands are still near his shoulders. Kurt takes a subtle breath. "Hold on. I need to wash my hair."

Karofsky's fingers disappear as Kurt turns around. Karofsky's whole face looks tense. He's obviously clenching his teeth, and his normal hazel eyes are dark brown. Kurt doesn't know what to make of the look, so he closes his own eyes and dips his head back into the water. He threads his fingers through his hair, scrubbing out the shampoo. He can't hear anything but cascading water, so when fingers skim up his stomach, Kurt jerks in surprise and swallows a mouth full of water.

He leans forward, coughing. Karofsky's fingers leave as the jock starts laughing. "Sorry," he says between snickers, sounding anything but. "Didn't mean to startle you."

"Yeah," Kurt wheezes out when he gets his breath back. He tries to glare at Karofsky, but the boy is so obviously amused that Kurt can't help but shake his head and chuckle too.

The tense atmosphere disappears. Water hits Kurt's back. Some of his hair has fallen in his eyes. Karofsky's hair isn't even wet yet. Kurt looks at Karofsky's sideways grin and for the first time in a long time he doesn't want to run away in fear or jump the boy's bones. It's a pleasant feeling.

"I think we need to talk about what this is. What it's going to be," Kurt says.

Karofsky's smile shrinks; his eyes tighten. "I think it's pretty good how it is," he replies.

Kurt shakes his head. Droplets of water splatter against Karofsky's chest. "Karofsky," Kurt says, "we both want this to continue." Some of the tension in the jock's eyes fades. "But how are we going to make this work? We're obviously not going to be doing this at school." Karofsky licks his lips and nods. "We're not boyfriends. We're not going to walk around at the mall holding hands. We need to figure out where we can meet, and what our boundaries are."

The water is starting to cool. Kurt holds up a finger. "But first we need to get clean before this shower is an icebox." He squints. "So no funny business," he adds jokingly.

Karofsky nods again and hands Kurt the conditioner while picking up his own, bland shampoo. "Dave," he says.

Kurt wrinkles his nose. "What?"

"My name is Dave. I think that's a good start."

Dave,Kurt thinks. He's never thought of the other boy like that before. He isn't Dave. He's Karofsky, the hockey-turned-football player. The jock. The bully. But he's not just that now is he? He's something new now."Okay," Kurt says. "Let's finish our shower, Dave."

Kurt turns his attention to his hair, but he doesn't miss Karofs- Dave's- smile.

It feels good too.