Derek sat holding Meredith's hand. The contusion had formed a blood clot and the neurosurgeon had performed a craniotomy on her to open a section of her skull to help relieve the pressure and remove the contusion.
That had been 8 hours ago and now she was resting in recovery. The contusion was worse in the CT then they had thought and they were hoping minimal damage was made to her brain and with hopes that she'd be awake and functioning well.
They did fear that damage was made to her speech and memory and that she may never wake up.
Derek had been made aware of Meredith's health care directive and if in a case of 30 days she didn't wake for her machines to be turned off as she didn't want to be a vegetable.
It was day 1 and Derek was hoping she'd be awake in less than 30 days because she was missing out on a whole lot.
He was dreading walking out of the room because he's sisters were all here to visit Aria and see Meredith and put in their opinion on what should be done. He didn't want to listen to their nagging and their numerous amounts of questions that drove him crazy.
"Daddy, they're here." Savannah says walking into the room with dread in her voice.
Savannah was so much like Meredith when it came to the sister. She could handle them but only in small doses and only a few times a year.
"Well how about we go to the bakery and get breakfast?" He suggests. He didn't want to leave Meredith's side but he really did want to spend some time with Savannah. "We can spend some time together."
"But Daddy they are your sisters." She says.
"But they interfere with my life too much they say things like, 'why don't you visit us more often?', 'why didn't you call?', 'why did you call her but not me?'. Too many questions."
"And they are nosey." Savannah adds in.
"Yes they are."
"Can I get a chocolate croissant?" Savannah asks.
"Of course. Come on let's go the back way to the exit and we can travel to Lakeview for breakfast there because let's face it, the croissants there are the best in Washington."
"No the whole of the world!" Savannah says. "Better than the ones in Paris."
Derek lifts Savannah into his arms and leans down and kisses Meredith's cheek. "We'll be back soon Mer. Just be warned, the sisters are here."
They leave her room and take the long way round to avoid the sisters.
"And where do you two think you are going?" They hear from behind them.
Derek turns around and sees Amelia standing there with her arms folded over her baby bump.
"I was taking Savannah to the bakery for breakfast. I promised her last night that I would take her." He says.
"He did Aunt Amy." She says nodding her head with a wide smile.
Derek smiled to himself. She was just like Mer already all the times they lied on the spot to get out of things. Savannah was now helping him cover up and he was reminded of all the times they were caught together.
"What are the two of you doing?" Lexie asks the two 16 year olds who were caught naked in the bathroom.
Meredith stood in front of Derek to cover him up from her sister and he covered her areas with his hands. They were completely butt naked and exposed to her.
"We just got back from the river and we are drenched. We decided it was too hot and just got in with our clothes on. We were just changing into some dry clothes." Meredith says when all in fact they hadn't been at the river and were going to get it on in the shower.
"Oh okay. Does Derek want to borrow some of Thomas's clothes?" She asks. Meredith knew that she had made her believe their story.
"That would be great." Derek says smiling.
"I can put your clothes in the dryer."
"I'll do it Lex. It's fine." Meredith says.
"Okay, I'll just leave some clothes by the door." She says and then shuts the door leaving them be.
"Oh okay." Amy says. "Bring back some things for morning tea then. I am craving chocolate croissants." She says rubbing her belly.
"If you eat too many you'll put on a lot of weight." Derek says to her.
"No uterus, no opinion." She says.
Derek smiles and grasps Savannah's hand.
"If we were at home we could have walked."
"But I don't have the right shoes on my feet to walk Daddy." She says pointing to her sandals
Derek laughed and picked her up into his arms and carried her across the car park. "You are just like your mother. That moment before with Aunt Amy, your mother and I used to do the same thing. We would be caught doing something that we shouldn't be and we would lie and cover for each other right on the spot. We got away with it 99 per cent of the time."
He drives them into Lakeview and to the bakery and parks and helps her down from the car and holds her hand as they cross into the bakery.
"Oh my favourite little girl." The owner says. "Come give me a hug."
Savannah runs to the old man and he picks her up into his arms and hugs her.
"Hi Frank."
"Hello Miss Savannah. What are we doing here?"
"Daddy and I came for breakfast. We wanted to get out of the house."
"Why?"
"Because my aunties and uncles are home." She says.
"Say no more." He says and places her on the counter. "Derek, it's nice to see your smiling face." He says shaking hands with Derek.
"You too Frank. I've missed this place and the pastries and the cakes."
"Well for my favourite family breakfast is on the house." He says. "Annie, come out here."
A middle aged woman comes out to the front of the bakery wiping her floured hands onto her apron and pushing her stray hair away. She looks up at Frank.
"What is it?"
"Look who's here." He says.
Annie looks up at Derek and smiles. "Oh my." She says coming to the front of the counter. "Derek, I haven't seen you in so long." She says embracing the boy who she used to babysit and watched grow up. "You've grown."
"No I haven't. You've just gotten shorter."
"Hey, you don't say that to a lady." She says playfully hitting his chest and grinning. "You seem well."
"I feel good." He says.
"Getting out of here was the best thing to ever happen to you."
"It was. It had its ups and downs but I think that being on the road and seeing the world has been a great opportunity for me." He says.
"The two of you take a seat. Chose whatever you want." She says picking Kaylee up and placing her down in a chair. "And I want to know about your time away from home."
He nods his head and smiles.
The two of them chose their breakfast and they served them with coffee and juice. Annie and Frank sat down with him at the table and ask him about his time away. He smiles at Savannah who smiles back at him.
"Where has daddy taken you?" Annie asks Savannah.
"Heaps of places. I've been to LA a lot. New York, Italy, London, Spain, Greece. I've been everywhere.'
"Well where do you want to go next?" Frank asks her.
"Mommy wanted to go to Australia. So I want to go to Australia and swim at the beach and pat a koala."
"Well you'll have to beg daddy to take you then."
"He will. I've got my eyes ready." She says.
"Oh all she has to do is bat her eyelids and I fall at her feet." He says. "I'll do anything she wants. We may just have to wait for Aria to be a little bit bigger."
"That's fine Daddy. Can we maybe go over Christmas break?"
"I'll think about it." He says. He looks at his watch and realises they had been out for nearly two hours. "Vannah we have to get back. We've been gone for a couple of hours already."
"Okay." She says sliding down from her chair.
"You're not going without a hug." Annie says holding her arms out. She embraces Savannah and kisses her forehead. "Be good for Daddy."
"I will be."
"I have to bring home some pastries and things. Amelia is craving chocolate croissants."
"How much longer does she have?" Annie asks moving behind the counter.
"10 weeks. First baby as well so it's going to be interesting." He says smiling.
Annie boxes an assortment of cakes and pastries and they farewell Annie and Frank.
"Daddy, do you think that maybe we should get something else just so they aren't suspicious of us being gone for so long?"
"We'll just say we went for a walk." He says to her.
"Okay." She says smiling.
He helps her into the car and drives back to the hospital where he's family is waiting.
"Daddy, is Momma going to be alright?"
"Of course she will be."
"But what is there's a chance that she doesn't get better?"
"Then we will cross that bridge when we come to it." He says. "But we won't have to worry."
"Where back!" He says as he walks into the waiting room.
"Finally." Amelia says rushing to him to grab the box of pastries. "I've been craving these croissants like crazy." She says.
"Go on, go and play with your cousins." He says to Savannah.
She runs off to the playroom where all her cousins are playing.
"Derek Shepherd. You snuck out without saying hello." Kathleen says. "If I knew better you were trying to avoid us." She says with her arms crossed across her chest.
"No. Savannah and I had plans to go and have breakfast together. You were all busy gossiping with each other we slipped out not wanting to bother you."
"Well I expect better from you. I wanted to see my niece and my favourite brother."
"I am your only brother." He says.
"And still my favourite."
He rolls his eyes and walks to the small kitchen that was set up for patient's family to use. His brother's in laws were supervising the kids and three of his four sisters were seated on the couch with Carolyn. Nancy holding her chubby checked 7 month old baby boy.
"Oh here he is." Nancy says. "Don't we get a hello?"
"I had plans with Savannah. We went for breakfast."
"You had been gone for an awful long time."
"We had some father daughter time. It's been a little crazy around here and we just needed some time to sit with each other and talk."
"You spent 2 and a half weeks with your daughter. How much more father daughter time do you think the two of you need?" Nancy says.
Derek turned to leave.
"Derek!" Carolyn says. "Speak to your sisters."
He was angry. They didn't understand anything. They were meddling in his life.
"Savannah could have lost her mother. There could be no more mother time. No more motherly words, embraces of kisses. No more motherly anything. She could die and Savannah, Jack and Aria have lost a mother and no matter how much time I spend with these children it will not make up mother child time. I need to step up and do both jobs for the three of them because no one in this whole wide world will be able to comfort them like a parent. I have to do both jobs because I love them and don't want them upset or missing time with me. You all don't understand anything." He says.
"Derek." Carolyn says.
"No Ma, it's true. They walk in here asking me a million questions and you all nag me and judge me for slipping out of the hospital. You don't understand. My best friend, my lover, my wife and they mother of my children was shot and she could have died. You all come in here asking why I'm like this. I l could have lost someone. Someone who I shared 27 years with. My person is lying in that hospital bed in a coma with a 30 day timer ticking. She was shot, almost lost her baby and her own life. I could lose the best part of my life in 30 days and there will be no more love for us because she could die. Those three children could lose a mother not just some friend or neighbour. A mother. My daughter is in the NICU because she almost lost her mother. I'm not going to stand by here and listen to your complaints and nagging because I can't handle it. Not today. I need time to be and realise that time is precious and tell her how much I love her. You all need to understand that or I won't be able to stay in this hospital with you all and I'll be on my way back to LA. Let me be and for once, let me be able to do something without the questions." He snaps before turning and leaving.
"Derek…" Amelia says as he leaves. "Look. I warned you two about this." She says and chases after him.
Derek went straight to Meredith's where he shut the door behind him. He shouldn't have snapped but they just didn't seem to understand. He sat on the chair beside the bed shaking from the anger that was boiling inside of him.
Amelia knocked on his door and waited.
"Go away."
She pushed open the door and closed it behind her and came and sat down beside him.
Out of all his sisters Amelia was his favourite followed closely by Kasey. He got along with her so well and she understood her little brother and knew when to not ask and just hold him.
"I don't want you in here." He says.
"Derek. You do. You need someone who understands you." She says. "And I know that Meredith isn't capable of being here and I am nowhere as close as being Meredith but I am your sister. I am not going to walk away because you yelled at me. You've yelled at me for 27 years and I've never turned my back on you. I've never. You've always confined in me when you were lonely and upset when all those times were unbearable. You would call me at 2 in the morning because you just wanted to hear my voice. Those times you were so upset I never hung up on. I sat down beside you. I would know when and when not to ask and then we would talk through things. You were the person I would call when I was upset as well and you gave me brotherly advice and I felt comforted. You've yelled and I've yelled. We still don't walk away from each other." She says.
He looks up at her and smiles. The two of them had been through the same experiences in life.
But her experience had a worse outcome. She lost a best friend to an overdose and he could have lost one to a shooting.
"I'm sorry for yelling." He says.
"I know you are. You needed to get it out. I understand." She says. "Remember me after Connie died?"
"I do."
"I was 18 Derek. I lost someone at a younger age." She says. "I could have stopped her Derek and I didn't. I've carried that with me for 12 years. I will never forgive myself."
"But you have to. Connie knew the dangers of drugs and she could have stopped herself. Her family could have stopped her. It's not entirely your fault."
"I know." She says. "I shouldn't say this but Meredith's injury was cruel. She doesn't deserve to be here lying in this hospital bed with complications and I know that Mom told me that the shooter got the two of them mixed up and that he shot her because she had three children. She was handed the cruel sentence. Connie did it to herself."
"Meredith didn't deserve it." He says.
"I know. Connie handed herself her own death sentence. Every injection and pill she took was shortening her life. Meredith woke up one morning, did a nice thing for Ma, went to the bathroom and then was dragged out in front of people and shot because she was a mother. No one should be shot because of that, let alone killed."
He nodded his head and Amelia grasped his hand.
"Can I tell you something?"
"Of course."
"You have to keep it a secret though. You can't tell the girls or Ma. Dad already knows but you can't say anything until after Mer wakes and once things start to return to normal."
"Derek I've kept every one of your secrets. I will not blurt this one."
He takes the letter that Meredith had written him telling him about Jack's paternity and hands it to Amelia.
"Here." He says.
She takes the letter and unfolds it.
She read the letter and is shocked. "You're Jack's father?"
"Yes."
"But we all thought it was Craig."
"No he was infertile." He says. "The day he left for Iraq, Meredith came to Seattle with Savannah, we later flew to LA and we spent the week in bed with each other."
"Why didn't you say anything?"
"Because I didn't realise until I got here and she actually told me. I thought she was on the pill and we didn't worry about other protection. She never told me about Craig being infertile and when she told me she was pregnant she never hinted I was the father."
"Did she ever hint that Craig was?"
"She didn't hint anyone to be. She wanted to keep it a secret because she wanted to keep a clean slate for Craig and herself and give him the decency and name around here. So she didn't say anything. I've seen Jack so much over these two year's times and I didn't realise that he was my son. He was all Meredith. I had a feeling but I knew it would go away. I came home and Mom said that his eyes aren't Craig and I knew that I was looking at my son."
"And nobody knows." She says.
He shakes his head. "Dad figured it out. I assume Mom may know. Meredith never told anyone."
"Wow." Amelia says. "So you actually do have three children?"
"Yep."
"And Jack isn't an orphan?"
"Nope."
"Wow." She says. "I just assumed. I never thought twice about it because I worked the conception out to be around the time he left and not after."
"Nobody did." He says.
"I can see why though Meredith kept it a secret."
"Well she never told Craig's family. Never. At the service for Craig she didn't bother sitting with his family because Craig had asked for a divorce a week before his death and she didn't feel like his wife. She went to pay her respects as a friend and not a wife." He says. "If Craig's parents knew about Jack they would want to be involved in his life and the moment Meredith died, Jack would be in their care. They would be sure of it. Even if Lexie was listed as guardian. They would fight for everything Meredith had."
Derek opened his arms and embraced her. He felt a small jab on his abdomen and pulled back quickly.
"Did that just happen?" He asks. "Did my future godchild just kick me?"
She just nods her head with a smile and grabs Derek's hand and places it where the kicks were coming from. He was in awe feeling his godchild kick.
"I always loved Meredith's baby bumps. I loved always kissing them and talking to them. I loved everything about them."
"I don't know why but she seemed to have the best baby bumps. I'm jealous of her."
He smiles and kisses her cheek. He was grateful to have Amy as his sister.
"Are you going to face the wolves?" She asks.
"I'm spending 5 days with the wolves." He says. "Not now. I will later."
"Don't apologise Derek. I know you feel as if you should but don't. They need to understand you and they just don't."
"Why couldn't I have four Amy's instead of two very nosey and pushy sisters? One who is a tag along and one of you. I want four of you."
"I like that idea." She says smiling.
He looks at his sister for another moment.
"I'm still trying to figure out the pieces Amy. Of what I am going to do next and where I am going to live and if I'm still going to play. Meredith is here recovering from surgery, Aria is in the NICU getting stronger. I have a list of things waiting for a solution but I can't do anything because time has frozen and I can't start moving things because I need to be here with Meredith and Aria and the kids. I need to catch up with people in town. I have a concert to organise and managers to call and fire. So many things and time feels frozen but it still feels like its running out."
"Well let's make a list then." She says. "Then you can know what is to be done."
He grabs a pad of paper and a pen and sits down. She takes the pen and paper into her hands and sits and waits.
"You know what I'll call Genelex and I will organise a date for you to go and visit them."
"I don't think that's necessary. I believe her and I can look at him knowing that he is truly mine."
"Well if you think this is the right thing to do. If your certain."
"Very certain."
"Okay, what else do you need to do?"
"Finish Aria's birth record and send it away." He says. "I have to call my manager Jenny. I also have to call my band mates, Callie, my record company, I have to fire my tour manager. I have to get a list of schools to send Savannah to. I have to look at arrangements for the kids. Look at a new houses…."
"I think we have enough for now." She says. "These are the important things for now and the others you can gradually look at." She says. "I'll get a list of schools that are close to your home for now and I'll chose some homes that I think might be good. You know what? The one across the road from me has just gone on the market?"
"Really?"
"5 bedrooms." She says.
"Is it the one that I have loved? The one that Meredith loved?"
"Yes." She says.
"You don't have to do all this for me."
"I like to lighten your load."
"Thank you so much." He says kissing her cheek and rubbing her belly. "I'm going to go and see Aria."
He left Meredith's room and wandered down the hallway to the NICU. He scrubbed his hands and walked to her bedside.
"Hey baby girl." He says stroking her finger. "You're looking stronger today baby girl." He says as she grasps his finger with her hand. He smiles softly. "We're going to be alright. Everything will be fine." He says.
He takes Aria from the crib and settles her in his arms, kissing her forehead and rocking her gently.
"You know what, when Momma is better and you are better we're going to go and live in LA where the sun shines all day long and where we can go for walks along the beach every sunrise and sunset. We'll get a dog who will greet us with kisses and which will protect you and play with you. You'll have Savannah and Jack to chase around. Your mother will always sing you lullaby's to help you fall asleep and she hold you tight in her arms when you're scared. I'll be there to catch you when you fall and teach you how to play the guitar. We're really gonna be fine." He says kissing her forehead again. "The five of us."
Carolyn stood outside the NICU with Jack, Savannah and Michael. Michael squeezed Carolyn's hand and smiled at her.
"I think you kids are going to fine." Michael says shifting Jack on his hip.
"I think you all will be too." Carolyn says. "Even if it's a bit crazy at the moment you will all be happy."
"Happy!" Jack says clapping his hands.
Things will turn around slowly for the family.
Thoughts and reviews would be great.
I'll try and update when I get a spare moment.