The black widow has no soulmate. The winter soldier has no soul. These are true. But the truth isn't all things to all people all of the time.
The black widow doesn't have a soulmate, because the black widow is only a name. Natasha is the widow but the widow isn't her. Natasha is a million miles away from Clint Barton and this is how she wants it. She can't see the horror in his eyes that she is what he is stuck with if she never meets him.
The winter soldier doesn't have a soul. He knows this is true, because it is what they tell him. The winter soldier doesn't have a soul, but they tell him his name is James. He has a name in those days. The girl they put him with calls him James, when they are alone together, and it is the only time he feels something like a person.
They lie in bed together after, she is smart and tells Them that they need more time if They want them to create the next ultimate puppet. They don't say much all the time. She lies there, and he lies there, and they stare at the ceiling. She doesn't think about the last person she killed. She thinks about the person next to her, and the person on her spine, and most of all she thinks about herself. She does not yet live the life of heroics that she will. He reaches out to the very tips of his mind, gathering everything he knew together and reminding himself of himself.Your name is James.Last week you killed a man with a green tie.When it is cold you feel like you are supposed to be somewhere.The girl with red hair will not save you.You will not save her. People may get saved, but neither of you are a person.
The ice sinks into his mind and into her bones and she never lets it near her heart and it never goes for his, only wants his brain and memories of a Someone. There never is a baby. She thinks that this is the only proof of a kind God that she has ever seen. She wonders if it would have had his eyes. She wonders if he would know his own child. She wonders if he would know himself.
This is the ghost in the night. This is the shadow. This is a more alert puppet, who is remembering just how many strings there are. This is months of work and no results. This is-
It doesn't matter what it could have been. They take him away.
This is a full wipe. He has no name. He still feels like there is something that he needs to do when it is cold. The only thing he remembers of her is red hair on the pillow next to him.
When the smoke is chocking, he wants to smile behind his mask. Somebody is burning them down. The winter soldier pauses to melt the ice in his veins.
The red headed girl's fighting style was effective, and it had been a very long time since the winter soldier had met his equal. His mind is clicking, grinding, doing anything to simply wake up, but there is simply too much ice. Her hair flickers in and out of his conscious.
"Who the hell is Bucky?" wasn't his name James once?