AN. We're almost at the end of the first trimester! Everyone's reactions to Elphaba's sandwich were hilarious, haha.
WEEK 11
During your 11th week of pregnancy, your baby-to-be's body still may look a little strange. At this point in development the head makes up nearly half of his body size. Don't worry, in the next few weeks the rest of his body will catch up. Right now, part of your baby's small intestine coils around the umbilical cord outside his body—this will change soon, too.
Elphaba frowned as she flicked through a pile of mail.
"Something wrong?" Fiyero asked seeing her face.
"What is it? Bills? Love letters from women proclaiming their love for me?"
Elphaba turned to head to shoot daggers at him and Fiyero blanched. It was always so hard to tell how she was going to react to his jokes these days with her hormones and the mood swings that accompanied them.
Of course, a wise man might suggest the best solution would be to not tell any jokes at all, but well… Fiyero never had been known for his common sense or wisdom.
He cleared his throat awkwardly. "So, what's up, Fae?"
Elphaba sighed. "There's the usual no-doubt-wedding-detail-filled letters from Galinda, but… nothing from Nessa. I haven't heard from her in a few weeks."
"I'm sure it's nothing, Elphaba," Fiyero assured her. "I'm sure she's got her own stuff going on, and no doubt she's preparing things for when we come visit. It's only two weeks away," he reminded her.
That made Elphaba smile. She was excited to see her sister again, and to finally share their happy news, even if it meant having to see her father at the same time.
"I can't wait."
They were already making plans for how to tell Fiyero's family the next week, after they saw Izanami for their official twelve week appointment and reached the end of the first trimester. They had already invited Ibrahim, Kasmira and Kastle and Anton over for dinner one night next week, and there they would make the big announcement.
Then Elphaba sobered and sat down on the couch next to her husband, one leg tucked underneath her.
"I need to talk to you about something."
Fiyero put down the newspaper he was reading as he looked at her. She looked so serious he was tempted to make a joke about the paternity of the baby, but then thought that might result in either tears (for her) or broken bones (for him) and both would be bad.
"What is it?" he asked, frowning in concern.
Elphaba looked at her hands. "Well, you know I've been talking to Kastle a lot the past few days," she began and Fiyero nodded.
Since his sister had guessed the news, she and Elphaba had met a few times to talk. This was one subject where Elphaba found it a lot more helpful to talk to someone rather than just read about it in books; and Kastle was full of helpful advice.
"Well, she has all these stories, from when she was pregnant with Noak and Aaylis; and the thing is… Noak's only six and he knows some of those stories. He knows how his mom could only eat carrot sticks for two months, and that he once kicked Anton in the face through her stomach when he was trying to talk to him…"
Fiyero grinned broadly. "Yeah, that's a great story," he chuckled.
Elphaba rolled her eyes. "My point is, that he knows things. And I- I don't know anything. Kastle and Izanami have both asked questions about my mother's pregnancy and when I was born, and I know nothing. I've been thinking that… I want this baby… I want our children to know things like this. Stories and facts about before they were born."
"They?" Fiyero asked in interest and she rolled her eyes again.
"Yes, 'they'. I'm not opposed to more children… although wait until I've experienced labour before we make that a definite plan."
"Agreed," Fiyero nodded, and gestured for her to continue.
Elphaba bit her lip. "I've been thinking that… in case there's a reason why I can't tell them..."
Fiyero stilled. He'd been wondering if Elphaba was giving much thought to her mother's death lately, but hadn't wanted to bring it up.
"Fae, nothing is going to happen to you," he said gently.
"I'm not saying it will," she said quickly. "But I'm saying it could happen. Anything could happen, Yero. To either one of us."
She stared down at her lap again. "You know… I only have a few memories of my mother. And I miss her every day. But at the same time… I never really knew her. The few memories I have are so vague and fuzzy… for the majority of my life, she's just been this… huge hole in my life that my father always told me was my fault."
Elphaba finally met Fiyero's eyes again and his heart ached as he saw the tears in them. "I've been reading all the books. And Izanami and now Kastle have been great, and I know that once we tell your mom she's going to be a huge support to me- to us. But… I don't think I've ever missed my mother more than now. It's really only just starting to hit me that she went through all this- twice. And she probably imagined being here and being able to pass on her stories and knowledge and being able to see her grandchildren. She's- she's going to miss so much. She already has, and my father just… doesn't give a damn."
Fiyero said nothing, just raised his hand and gently wiped away a tear that was rolling slowly down her emerald cheek.
Elphaba chuckled faintly and rolled her eyes at herself. "The plan was not to cry during this conversation. I hate these stupid hormones," she muttered, wiping her eyes.
Fiyero smiled gently. "It's ok, Fae. So, what were you thinking?"
She took a deep breath. "I read something in one of the books. About the idea of the parents keeping a journal throughout the pregnancy. Just to… to document the whole process. At first I thought it sounded kind of lame, but… the idea keeps running around my head ever since."
Fiyero thought about that for a few moments.
"I think it sounds pretty cool," he said finally. "And it would be something we can give to him or her one day."
Elphaba smiled faintly. "It doesn't sound dumb?"
Fiyero shook his head. "No, it doesn't. I think we should do it. We uh… we wouldn't have to write long entries, would we?"
She laughed. "No," she reassured him.
"Ok, then. Let's do it."
Elphaba beamed, she hadn't been sure how he'd respond to the idea. "Well, we have to get something to write it in first," she chuckled.
"I think we've got some old notebooks from Shiz around here somewhere," Fiyero suggested.
Elphaba just stared at him blankly. "I was thinking of something a little nicer than that," she said slowly and Fiyero shrugged.
"OK, then. We could go out tomorrow and buy something? There's nothing suspicious about buying a notebook, is there?"
"For you, yes," she teased, but agreed.
So the next day, the two went into town and entered the stationary store. Fiyero looked blankly at the piles of differently designed journals as Elphaba studied them thoughtfully.
"What do you think?" she asked.
"I think there's way too many options here," he replied honestly, making Elphaba laugh.
They went back and forth amongst them, before finally choosing a simple brown leather journal.
"I know this was my idea and all," Elphaba said when they'd returned home and she was lying on the couch, staring at the first blank page of the journal, pen in hand.
"But now that we're here… I have no idea what to write," she admitted.
Fiyero placed a cup of tea on the coffee table in front of her, then lifted up her feet so he could sit down on the end of the couch, replacing her feet on his lap.
"I do, gimme."
Elphaba handed over the journal and pen without arguing and reached over to grab her tea as Fiyero raised the pen over the paper.
"It's not that easy, is it?" she asked, seeing him pause.
"I was just wondering," Fiyero explained. "What do I start with? I don't have to write 'Dear Diary', do I?"
He winced at the idea and Elphaba laughed.
"No. We can write… whatever. We can give it a name, if you really want to. Galinda named her diary Daezy, for Oz's sake."
Fiyero turned to Elphaba in interest at that, and Elphaba let out a horrified gasp and clamped her hand over her mouth as she realised what she had let slip.
"Which you are never to let on that you know about," she said sternly.
Fiyero laughed. "Really? Daezy?"
"Galinda's going to kill me," Elphaba groaned.
"How do you know this?" Fiyero asked eagerly.
"She told me in confidence," Elphaba admitted. "Now, can we move on please?"
Fiyero, still grinning, nodded. "Sure. Well… if we're sticking with the idea of giving the baby this one day… why not address it to the baby?" he suggested.
Elphaba narrowed her eyes. "By that, you mean 'dear Baby' not 'dear Little Fiyeraba', right?"
Fiyero pouted. "Well, if you're going to ruin my fun," he muttered, but began writing.
Although Elphaba was fascinated to know what he was writing, she decided to leave him to it and grabbed an old magazine that was lying in arm's reach and picked up a spare pen to do the puzzles with.
She completed the crossword, code breaker and was halfway through the word search when Fiyero announced,
"Finished!" and shut the journal in satisfaction.
Elphaba couldn't help but smile, she'd seen that look a hundred times before when he'd finished writing an essay in their years at Shiz.
"Can I read it?"
"Sure. I'll trade you for the word search," he offered and she gladly made the exchange.
Then, with a combination of excitement and slight apprehension, Elphaba began to read.
"Dear Baby,
Hi. I'm your Dad. At this moment, you are still 29 weeks away from joining us in the world (assuming you are born on your due date, of course) , and according to the baby books, you're about the size of a lime. That just sounds completely crazy to me, I can't even imagine you being that small.
Let me tell you something, you are one lucky kid. I'm not talking about being born into the royal family, that sometimes isn't all it's cracked up to be, take it from me.
This is why you're lucky: You are getting the best mother in all of Oz.
I mean that in no disrespect to your grandmother, who was a pretty great Mom herself, but it's true. Your Mom is the most incredible person I've ever met, and I know she's going to be a fantastic mother.
I've been in love with your mother for years, and my life changed completely from the moment I first met her.
Now, you're going to hear a lot of stories as you grow up about how your mother and I met, so let me just clear it up right now: I did not run your mother over. Whatever she tells you (or anyone else, for that matter) I did not run her over.
My driver did. And she wasn't actually run over, just… knocked down.
So, what can I tell you about your mother? Well, she's brilliant, beautiful, a talented sorceress, kind, caring and has a mean right hook.
Most importantly, she loves you already. And she will love you and do anything she can do make you happy for your entire life.
You are going to be such a perfect new beginning to our family. No one knows about you just yet (well, except for Auntie Iz because she's the midwife and your Aunt Kastle kind of guessed just last week) but for the most part, you're a little secret of your mom's and mine.
We're both so excited about meeting you, at times this seems to be going to slow, but at other times I can't believe how fast it's going. You're coming into a family where there is lots of love.
You're going to have two grandparents who are going to spoil you rotten; a wonderful Aunt and Uncle and two crazy cousins to play with. Then there's your Aunt Nessa in Munchkinland, who I'm sure will adore you, and your Aunt Galinda and Uncle Boq, who are family- even though not by blood.
We're telling them about you in the next two weeks, and we're so excited to be able to finally tell them about you. The point is, you're not even in the world yet and you're already loved so much. We can't wait to meet you.
Love, Daddy."
It was a quiet sob that caught Fiyero's attention away from the word search, and he looked up in alarm to see Elphaba crying quietly.
"Fae?" he asked worriedly, putting down the magazine.
Elphaba sat up and crawled into his lap, kissing him deeply, which Fiyero gladly returned.
"I love you so much," she whispered and Fiyero held her tighter on his lap.
"I love you too, Fae," he replied, gently stroking her hair. "I meant every word, you know."
Elphaba smiled faintly, and rested her head on his shoulder. "I know."
As she curled up on his knee, Fiyero moved his hand to rest on her stomach that was just beginning to round, although it wasn't noticeable yet unless you knew what you were looking for.
"One question," Elphaba said finally, looking up at him.
"Sure," Fiyero agreed.
"Did you really have to mention how we met?"
Fiyero grinned innocently. "Hey, I'm just setting the record straight."
Elphaba chuckled faintly and kissed him again.
"Well, for the record, I think you're going to be a pretty amazing dad," she told him and Fiyero kissed her softly.
"I have you to help me. I'll be fine."
Elphaba covered Fiyero's hand that was resting on her stomach.
"I didn't mention your father," Fiyero said suddenly, referring to the journal entry. "Because well… he's your father. But I think this baby has a pretty great family around it. Even if your father chooses not to be a part of that, this baby is going to be so loved."
"I think so too," Elphaba agreed.
Fiyero tucked a lock of hair behind her ear gently. "And I bet your mom is watching over you somewhere, and that's she's as proud of you as I am."
Fresh tears pierced Elphaba's eyes. "I wish she could be here," she confessed in a whisper.
"I wish she could see this, and know you… and the baby."
Fiyero smiled. "I think she does see it. I bet she's… wherever and she already knows this baby and I bet she's really excited."
Elphaba merely relaxed into his embrace and closed her eyes as he continued talking. She wasn't really sure if she believed in an afterlife or anything like that; but the image Fiyero was painting was comforting and in a strange way, it put Elphaba at ease, the idea of her mother looking over her unborn child.
And then Elphaba realised that although her mother was gone, she was still a part of the family. And the hole inside Elphaba seemed to ache a little less.