Exile

Chapter 11: The Question

Aang swooped through the streets, ducking and weaving past houses and other obstacles in the dimness. The house which concealed Azula's place of confinement wasn't far away, fortunately. He saw a light shining through a window flung open to catch the cool air on a warm summer night. Rather than stop to open the door, he shifted his weight, flipped the glider neatly up onto its side, and skimmed through the window with inches to spare.

He found himself in the kitchen.

It was empty.

A steel door with a firelock on it stood open, the gaping maw leading down into the depths of the Dragonbone Catacombs that lay everywhere under Crater City. Miles of secret tunnels appeared to be required for cities of a certain size, Aang reflected. Ba Sing Se had its crystal caves, Omashu its extensive sewers, and he was sure that somewhere underneath the frozen palaces of the North lay vast, unexplored caverns of ice and stone.

He landed, folding his glider with a snap. In the sudden absence of rushing wind, he heard faint voices rising from below. Aang dove for the open passage, hoping he was in time to avoid some sort of disaster. He didn't know exactly what he was afraid of, but there was no way that the combination of Azula and a confused and terrified waterbender with a rare and frightening power could possibly be good.

Azula's cell was well below ground. As Aang descended he began to catch bits of conversation floating up. He heard Mikka, distraught, pleading with someone. Azula? No, there was someone else down there. A man with a soft voice, one that Aang knew and was overwhelmingly grateful to hear. Shyu was no stranger to dealing with panicked children, and could, Aang hoped, prevent Mikka doing something potentially catastrophic.

He rounded the last corner in the descending stairwell and saw the two of them standing by the door to Azula's cell. Aang breathed a sigh of relief to see that the fireproof dragonbone door was still firmly closed and locked, and that Mikka appeared to be in one piece. Whatever the dubious ethics of Roku's actions with the boy, he had managed to keep Mikka from breaking his neck on his reckless rooftop run.

"…might be enough," Mikka was saying. "That's all it took, last time. I don't know why."

"Well, I'm willing to try," Shyu said in return. "Though I don't think you should get your hopes up. And I'd like to be the one to do it – if it does awaken her, she's likely to be dangerous." The sage held a hand out to the boy. Aang saw Roku's crown in Mikka hands as he slowly held it out for Shyu to take.

Aang made a quick set of gestures. A sudden sharp gust of wind smacked into the crown. Mikka lost his grip on it and cried out. A moment later the ornament rolled to a stop against Aang's feet, and he leaned over to scoop it up. Yes, he could now sense that the crown had a very definite feel of Roku attached to it.

Aang looked up, straight into Mikka's huge blue eyes. Aang had to spend a moment admiring the boy's reflexes as Mikka immediately spun on one heel and started to sprint away down the darkened hall, heading deeper into the catacombs. Aang reached for the earthroot, found it, dug down with his bending, and snapped a hand upward. A solid wall of rock shot from the floor of the hall straight up to the ceiling. Mikka didn't see it quite soon enough to stop. He slammed into it with an audible "Oof!", and stood there for a moment, stunned, before turning unsteadily to face Aang. He'd managed to give himself a bloody nose. The scarlet dribbles were the only color his face had – he was white as snow, but he stood up straight to take whatever punishment was coming to him, now that he no longer had any hope of escaping it.

Shyu looked back and forth between the two of them, clearly at a loss. "Avatar…is there a problem here?"

"Yes, but not the one Mikka thinks. So can you calm him down? Because I think he thinks I'm going to kill him or something ridiculous like that."

Mikka snuck a look at him, his eyes asking You mean you're not?

Shyu looked at Mikka, who just looked miserable. "And why would he think that?"

"Because it's been a really, really long day, and a whole lot has happened, and some people aren't thinking too clearly. Mikka – Zuko's not dead. He's hurt, but it's nothing Katara can't take care of with a little time. And he's not mad about it – well, not too mad anyway – because he knows he needs to keep working on his temper and he shouldn't have shouted at you like that, okay? As for this – " Aang held up the crown. " – you didn't realize it, but you weren't acting entirely on your own when you grabbed it, okay? So just…relax, all right? You're in hardly any trouble at all."

Shyu had jerked when Aang had mentioned Zuko possibly being dead. "What happened to the Fire Lord?"

"An accident. He'll be fine, although probably grumpy for a little while."

Mikka seemed to be thinking things over. "I…I don't know what I did to him. He screamed…." The boy shuddered, and Aang was glad to see that he was as horrified by what had happened as everyone else who knew about it. "And then he fell," Mikka finished. "He'd just been telling me it was a fall no one could survive…"

"You probably wouldn't have, but Zuko's always flinging himself into open air like that. You wouldn't believe some of the leaps he's pulled off. I saw a few of them and I still don't believe it. Really, only airbenders should be trying that kind of thing. And we're smart enough to use gliders."

Mikka was looking slightly less panicky, if not exactly calm. "And…what…what about what I did to him? I don't even know how I did that. He screamed…."

"Yeah. You pretty much wrecked his arm with a single touch. I'd have yelled too."

Mikka recoiled. "I swear I didn't mean it!" He shoved his hands behind his back, perhaps so he wouldn't have to look at them. "I never did anything like that before! I didn't know I could!" Tears trembled at the edges of his lashes, but didn't fall just yet. "I – I'm a healer, or at least I was – I don't even know what I am any more!"

"You're a waterbender with an unusual gift for healing that you're not really in control of," Aang said. "But you can work on that, okay? You haven't had any training at all, right? Bending isn't something you can just handle by instinct." Aang winced, remembering his first try at firebending. "Believe me, I know what I'm talking about. Anyway, I have it from an excellent source that what you did to Zuko isn't unheard of, and with the right training can be very useful for a healer to know. Just don't use it until you've gotten thoroughly trained and your Sifu gives you the okay, got it?"

"I don't want a Sifu. I don't ever want to do it again." His hands were still hidden behind his back. "I don't ever want to bend again."

"You probably don't have a choice in the matter. I've never known a bender who could just stop bending. You really only have two options – get properly trained so that you can trust yourself never to use your abilities to harm anyone ever again, or stay untrained until the next time you get upset enough that you strike without thinking." Aang had been practicing looking solemn, and he put it to good use here. "And I don't really see that we could let you run around loose like that."

Mikka jerked. "You'd – lock me up? …I…I guess that's what I deserve. Next time I really could kill someone." He sank to the floor and buried his head in his arms.

Aang smacked his forehead in exasperation. He wondered if he'd ever managed to irritate Katara, Sokka, or Toph this much. He was afraid he had. (With Zuko there was no question.) "Mikka, I know it's been a really long and hard day for you – for all of us – so look, how about you just don't decide anything until after you've had a good meal and a good night's sleep? And a long talk with Katara. She's my waterbending Sifu, and she's really nice, and a really good teacher. Or if she can't do it for some reason, she'll help find someone who can, I'm sure of it. Just don't go swearing off waterbending for life because you had a bad scare tonight, okay? I think you've got a real talent for healing, and I'd hate to see it wasted. There's never enough healers to deal with all the damage the war did. We need every one we can get."

Mikka didn't lift his head. "I don't know if I can make myself heal again." His voice was muffled. "What if something goes wrong?"

"Stop thinking about that for the time being, okay? And stop running away. There are several people who are very worried about you right now, you know."

"I know. I messed that up too."

"Okay, I forgot to add – stop feeling sorry for yourself. I know you're confused and scared, but you really don't have anything to worry about. Except that bending, and we'll deal with that. There's no way Lady Ursa and Lu Ten are going to abandon you, so just settle down."

Shyu made a wordless exclamation. Aang shot a look at the Fire Sage – he'd completely forgotten about Shyu's presence while trying to talk some sense into Mikka.

"Ahem. Er. Pardon me, Avatar." Shyu seemed torn between a desire not to get in the way, and a furious curiosity. The curiosity was winning. "Did I hear you correctly? Did you say Lady Ursa?"

"Oh. Right. No one knows about that yet. I forgot. Yeah, Zuko and I went out today and found her, and also Iroh's son Lu Ten, who was imprisoned with her. That's where we picked up Mikka too." Shyu stared at him, his mouth hanging open in a very undignified way. "Keep it under your hat for now, though, okay?" Aang continued. "I think Zuko wants to give everyone some time to settle in before he makes a formal announcement." He waved at Mikka. "As you can see, things aren't very well under control right now."

"I understand. But I would very much like to have some time to speak with her when she is able, to discuss restoring the Fire Sage histories and scrolls to their correct state after Azulon's redactions. Ursa would have been a Fire Sage herself if she had not agreed to marry Ozai. Her father was one of the greatest Fire Sages ever. He was Avatar Roku's youngest son."

"Youngest? He had others?" Aang made a mental note to have a stern talk with himself. Roku was being very quiet at the moment.

"Oh yes. Three boys, two girls."

"Oh. Wow. That's….a lot of kids. And grandkids. And great-grandkids…."

"Indeed. In addition to being the Avatar, he was of high Fire Nation nobility. Many of our most talented firebending families bear a trace of Roku's blood somewhere, or are related to him through cadet lines. I can show you the family trees – "

"Uh – not right now, thanks. Some time later." Aang thought he could deal with being related, spiritually, to Zuko and Ursa. Possibly even to Azula. He wasn't ready to be related to a huge chunk of the Fire Nation nobility.

Azula…

Roku's crown was quite warm in his hand – not hot enough to burn, but just barely. Roku wanted it given to Azula, to the crazy girl who had killed Aang, almost killed Zuko, and tried to kill Katara. And then lost her mind.

It would all be so much easier if she simply drifted away in whatever half-life she was living now. Easier not to have to deal with the problem she represented. Easier not to ever have to face those mocking, malicious, clever golden eyes ever again – so much like Zuko's, and yet so different.

What was Roku thinking, to risk bringing her back? Didn't they have enough trouble and danger as it was? Weren't there already too many threats to the infant peace he and Zuko were desperately trying to shield so it could grow and thrive?

Shyu had shrugged off his outermost robe and was settling it over Mikka's shoulders and checking on the boy's bloody nose, which had mostly stopped dripping. He said nothing to interrupt Aang's reverie, but watched him, and the crown, closely.

Could he leave Azula as she was? Let her just waste away until her body stopped stubbornly clinging to a life her mind appeared to have abandoned? What would the monks have said?

They'd have said to try to heal her, no question about it. Air Nomad monks might, regretfully, kill in self-defense or defense of others, but they did not believe in punishing wrongdoing by death, because it gave the offender no opportunity to grow in wisdom and see the error of their ways.

But was he bound to the wisdom of the past? Even Yangchen had thought he needed to kill Ozai, but Aang had rejected that, rejected all of them, and with mysterious help had forged a new path for himself. One that might yet prove to be a mistake, he knew, but a path that was his own to walk. Should he walk his own path here as well? Should he let nature take its course and let Azula go?

He couldn't.

He had to try and bring her back. If he couldn't condemn Ozai to death, who so richly deserved it, he could not condemn this girl who was only a few years older than himself, who was in some mysterious way his own great-granddaughter, who was the little sister of his friend, the young man on whose back so much was riding.

Aang sighed deeply and looked up. "Mikka, if you're doing better, I need Shyu to run an errand for me."

"I'm okay," Mikka muttered, sounding a little embarrassed. Well, it was an improvement on self-pity, at least.

"Glad to hear it. Shyu – would you please go and find the Fire Lord and Lady Ursa for me? We need to talk."

In the end, Shyu had been unable to bring Zuko and Ursa without bringing the whole crowd. Sokka had even managed to recover Momo from wherever he had put the lemur. Rather than hold the discussion in the catacombs or the small kitchen, they had settled into one of the front rooms of the little house. They all fit, though just barely, and there was hardly room left over to breathe. Ty Lee offered to help by sitting on Lu Ten's lap, an offer which he refused, although with a genuinely amused smile that gave Ty Lee a fit of giggles. The only ones who got to snuggle were Mikka, who was curled up against Ursa, still wrapped in Shyu's red robe, and Mai, who sat next to Zuko with her head on his good shoulder. Suki and Sokka's attempts to snuggle were being resolutely foiled by Momo, despite both her and Sokka struggling to get him under control.

Iroh had insisted that no talking be done until he had made tea. Zuko would normally have taken the job of serving it, but his bad arm was bound up in a sling, so Lu Ten got the honor. Once everyone was seated, Aang did his best to summarize the situation for them. Then he asked for their opinions, and the room erupted in shouts and loud talk immediately. After about two seconds Aang had to stick his fingers in his ears. He wondered what the neighbors were thinking right now.

"Everybody SHUT UP!" he howled, using a subtle bit of airbending to magnify his voice. Much of the commotion died away, though a few people insisted on continuing to mutter. Aang glared them into silence.

"All right," he said, when all was quiet. "That's the situation. It's possible we might be able to bring Azula out of whatever state she's in. Lady Ursa was in something similar and she recovered with help from Mikka and Roku, acting through this crown." He had identified the crown as Roku's, but had left out the part about the family connections. That could wait until later. Much later. "I know it's dangerous, but I feel we have a duty to try. We can't just let her waste away and die down there if we can do something about it."

"Yes, we can," said Suki. "I have no problem with that at all."

"Seconded," said Sokka. "And I'm not just saying that because Suki will hurt me if I don't."

"It's a kinder end than she had in mind for you and Zuko and me, Aang," said Katara, frowning fiercely. After the way Katara had greeted Zuko at the Western Air Temple, Aang had known she would not be inclined to forget or forgive Azula's actions.

"It's pretty awful to just let her fade away like that, though," Toph said. "I mean, I think we can manage to handle her, don't you?"

"I don't know," said Mai, a faint trace of sorrow in her voice. "We've been friends nearly all our lives and I think she was still willing to kill me after I helped Zuko escape from the Boiling Rock."

"I want to help her," Ty Lee said. "She wasn't herself then, Mai. You know she wasn't."

"If she wasn't herself, then who was she?" Mai's voice quavered with uncertainty, something Aang had never heard before. Mai could generally be counted on to maintain her composure under all but the most stressful situations.

"I can't believe you're talking like you're going to leave Zuli like that," Lu Ten said, outrage just barely contained. "She's neither alive nor dead. Either help her, or if you're so eaten up by vengeance you can't do that, kill her cleanly and quickly." He scowled furiously around the room.

"Azula is not your sparkling little cousin Zuli any more, my son," Iroh said. "She lost her moral bearings years ago. There is some real question as to whether or not she can ever get them back. I am not sure it would be so merciful to bring her back to this world only to be forced to execute her for the safety of the world and the maintenance of the fragile new peace."

"Whatever's happened to her is Ozai's fault, not her own," Lu Ten countered. "And he is still alive while she lies slowly dying. What's fair about that?"

Aang looked at Zuko, who had brooded silently throughout most of the yelling. "Zuko? What do you think?"

"What do I think?" Zuko sighed. "I think I wish this were someone else's problem. But it's not. I don't feel good about leaving her like this – Lu Ten's right, she used to be different, back before Father got into her head and twisted her up. I mean, I don't really have to remind any of you – " He waved his good hand at Sokka, Suki, Katara, Toph, and Iroh – "just how good Ozai is at making you see things his way. You saw how bad I was, and that was just a little more than six months ago. And Azula's only fourteen. If she should want to change, she has plenty of time. Believe me, I never would have gone against Ozai if he hadn't made the mistake of burning and banishing me. She's only a little older right now than I was when that happened, and it still took me three years – and a lot of help – to learn to think for myself.

"But, on the other hand – if she returns fully to her senses, the amount of destruction and the loss of life she could cause …is worth considering." Zuko grimaced. "She would have very little trouble finding people to conspire with, to either free Ozai and restore him somehow, perhaps as just a figurehead, or to take back the Fire Throne on her own. She's always been a stronger firebender than me – I know I've improved a lot, but will it be enough if she challenges me to an Agni Kai? Have her own abilities been reduced by her breakdown?"

"Can she even legally challenge you?" Aang said, alarmed. "I thought you took care of that."

Zuko shrugged, his face grim. "It has as much legitimacy as the nobility decides it does, Aang. I can disinherit her, but not everyone agrees that I have that right. The biggest thing on my side right now is how badly Azula ruled during her brief time as Fire Lord – the nobles and the military don't seem eager to have her back there. Some of them are not much more thrilled about me, but at least I haven't gone on any banishment sprees. Not yet, at least. Some of them clearly expect me to do something like that, or worse. If Azula goes back to being her old self, as she was before she lost it, she'll be formidable. You saw how she handled the Dai Lee – the Fire Nation nobility aren't much harder to impress. She could put her breakdown off as a spate of comet-induced madness, or claim it was a side effect of an attempted poisoning….or many other things I'm sure she could think of that I can't.

"So…what I think it comes down to is, we should try to help her. But remember that the consequences will likely be bad, and it will be our responsibility." He sighed again. "Call me a coward, but I'm not at all eager to be put in a position where I may have to order my little sister executed."

Katara spoke up. "Aang….could you deal with her like you did with Ozai? You know – take away her firebending?"

Aang shook his head. "I could only do that to Ozai because he was threatening the balance of the world. And I nearly failed – and you don't want to know what would have happened if I had. Azula may be strong enough to win that battle of wills. But regardless, at the moment she's no threat to the balance, so I can't spiritbend her. If she becomes a threat, then I'll have to try – but before she gets that bad, there might be a lot of destruction and loss of life."

"That's enough." The voice was quiet, but carrying. Everyone else fell silent. Aang looked curiously at Ursa. She looked back at him steadily, but there was white fire in her eyes. "Under no circumstances will my daughter be left to wither away."

There was a sudden uncomfortable shifting in the room. Nearly everyone stole a glance at Zuko. Would the decision ultimately be his and Aang's, as it should be? Or would Ursa attempt to take authority from her son?

Zuko didn't react, other than to look quietly at Ursa. "Mother," he said gently. "What happened to Azula is not your fault."

"Yes, it is. This would not have happened if I hadn't left her in her father's hands since she was eight years old, Zuko. Just as I would never have let Ozai touch you, had I been here. Or had I been smarter or faster, all those years ago, and managed to take you two with me." Zuko opened his mouth to say something, but Ursa raised a hand to stop him. "No. Don't tell me I wasn't strong enough, fast enough, or smart enough to stop him. I was all those things, Zuko. I should have found a way. I failed. So now I must make up for that, no matter what it may cost me." She held her hand out to Aang. He took a quick look at Zuko, who nodded. Aang placed the crown in Ursa's outstretched hand.

"I promise you this – as my son and my Lord, Zuko, and you as the Avatar, Aang – if my daughter endangers anyone again, she will go into exile as I did.

"And I will go with her."

To Be Continued