9 months after

"Mother, I am trying. Give me a second."

"Well, if you don't hurry up then were never going to get her a spot."

Castle ran his hand through his hair trying to hold in his frustration. His chest tightened with anger, but it subsided. His mother has been aggravating him all day. Alexis was moving back into her dorm for the second semester of freshman year and they were there for "Family Day." But what the university fails to mention in their flyer for this day is the stress and the panic that returning students' parents have to face. Castle was trying to get Alexis a decent parking spot to bring her car up to campus, but this could only happen if you stood in line for hours. First come, first serve style. But they couldn't find the line, which was about to form within moments. They had been walking around in circles trying to find the room called the "Stop and Shop". Apparently everything could get paid here – your tuition, fees, meal plans – but Alexis never gave him a map or anything. He was in the midst of tall buildings and students with their parents. Castle hadn't been able to reach Alexis on her phone all day; her friends came and got her to go dorm room shopping. He didn't know what she needed that she didn't already have, but he let her go while they took care of the boring things on campus. Like find her damn parking spot.

"Wait, Richard! That's it!"

The heavens opened up above this small building across the street. Relief spread throughout his body, pounds of pressure left his head. Determined, they both crossed the street and ran to get his daughter a spot close to campus and her dorm.

Kate sat in her living room debating on whether to more the couch to the left and put the television in the corner of the room, or to leave everything the same. Or just buy a whole new set of furniture.

No. New furniture means money. Money that you don't have.

She paced her living room a few more times. The itch to redecorate sat inside her for a few weeks now. She wanted to drop thousands of dollars on a whole new apartment. Not a new apartment, but new furnishings. Frustrated, she left her living room and went to her bedroom. Castle had left last night to drop off Alexis at college. Family day. She didn't want to crack open that huge discussion so she excused herself by saying she had things to do around here. She sat on her bed and looked around her room for something – anything – to do. She already cleaned this morning. She made an elaborate breakfast for one. The grocery store was calling her name, but the living room distracted her. She missed Castle – even though it had only been less than a day. Her apartment was too quiet. She wasn't sad, or scared to be alone. She didn't know this emotion that was surrounding her. But then it hit her.

Kate Beckett was bored.

They only waited in line for an hour and a half. That was nothing compared to the night that some people had ahead of them.

Why wasn't this online like everything else?

But he didn't care. His daughter had a spot close enough to campus that he felt comfortable leaving her with night classes. He picked out his phone from his pocket and texted Alexis her new parking spot. First semester freshman are not allowed to have them. Second semester freshman aren't suppose to have them either, but when he saw her schedule Castle broke a rule and pulled some strings to get her on the list of students able to park on campus.

Kate was sitting in the middle of her living room. She felt uneasy, like she needed to move. But when she walked she didn't know where she needed to go. She wanted to get out of this apartment. She also wanted to stay curled up on the couch all day, but she had too much energy. She felt stuck. Bored with her surroundings, her life.

"Dad, I'll be fine. I promise. Now, please, can we go get dinner? The door is fine."

Castle looked at his daughter's tired and pleading face. He had spent the last hour trying to get the door to close the right away instead of the handle only letting it close halfway. Maintenance would be here in the morning, but this Castle knew he could fix if he could just get the thing to twist right . . .

"Richard, seriously."

If the doorknob would just turn a little more . . .

Martha let out a sigh and walked to the opposite wall to lean against. Castle stood up, saw their faces, and gave the persistent women standing behind him exactly what they had been asking for.

"Okay, fine. We can go."

Kate put on her sneakers and went for a walk. Getting out of the house was something – a change of scenery. Her headphones allowed the world to drown out and her walk became a run. It felt good. The adrenaline pushed through her system as the stress of whatever was going through her escaped. She ran until the park bench in the distance was calling her name begging her to sit down.

Just for one second.

She found herself sitting for longer than a second. People watching, enjoying the calm air around her. It was a warmer day in January, something that didn't come around too often. There wasn't much snow this winter so the ground was still bare. Perfect to go for a run. Her eyes were just about to close, let her slip away into her surroundings, when a man sat down at the opposite end of the bench. They exchanged awkward smiles; Kate's head faced her lap and she debated on putting her headphones on again. She should probably start running, get the motivation –

"My name's James."

Kate, startled by the sudden force of a conversation, smiled and looked at the man – James.

"Hi. Kate." She said as she nodded her head slightly, looked back down at her iPod, scrolling through songs as an excuse to remain silent.

"Do you run through here often?"

"Um – not often. Occasionally. When I'm not working."

"What do you do?"

"Uh - I'm in the police force."

"A cop – "

"Detective."

"Oh, alright. Got some power there," he said with laughter behind it.

She gave a third uncomfortable smile. Tried to find an excuse to not talk to this man, but she couldn't.

Is it too rude to stand and walk away?

"Arrest anyone lately," he said with a laugh.

Did he really think this was something original . . .

"I – I uh, I should be going," she said as she stood up, put one earphone in.

"Why leave so soon?"

Kate ignored the comment and started walking in the other direction. Began her route back.

"Hey, I'm talking to you," he said almost as a question. He ran up next to Kate as she tried to ignore him. He was walking sideways now, half jogging next to her, trying to steal her attention.

"I really have to be going. I'm sorry."

"Where are you going? Maybe I could walk you?"

"No, that's okay," she said.

"A walk never hurt anyone."

Kate looked at the man, still next to her. She stopped walking and stood in front of him.

"Um, James – is it? I'm sorry, but I really need to be going. Thank you for the offer, but I can walk by myself. It was nice meeting you." Kate said politely, added a smile.

She continued to walk, desperate to be free of this. It was awkward and it was ruining her serenity. But he continued to walk a few feet behind her. She sped up her pace, thinking that maybe he was just going in the same direction as her. There was a fork in the path up ahead. Maybe he was turning. But, as she verged to her right, he did as well. She could see him in the corner of her eye.

"Excuse me, but do I know you?"

"No, but when I saw you sitting I knew I had to talk to you."

"Um - thank you, but I am going to have to ask you to stop following me."

"Why, do you have like a boyfriend or something."

"Yes – no – um, kind of." She said, confused, but annoyed.

"You don't seem too sure, beautiful woman like yourself ought to know."

"I do, so I'm sorry. But, I need to go now."

"Okay, fine. I'm leaving, sorry to have bothered you," James said, annoyed.

Kate, relieved, checked over her shoulder a couple more times before finally heading back home. Home, to where Castle would be in a few short hours.

Okay, more like many hours, maybe not even until early morning, but still. What had just happened?

She usually said she was involved to get men like these off her back, but this time she felt bad for saying no. But she felt guilty for saying yes. But yes was comfortable. But were they in a relationship? She felt embarrassed for asking these questions, but confused for not knowing the answer. They were living together. They did spend a lot of time together. But, they weren't dating in the sense that other people dated. And what if Castle didn't want to date. What if they were just really good friends?

Why is this even a consideration?

Kate didn't love him, did she? Well, in that way. She loved him as a friend. She knew that, but as more?

Her walk home was almost finished. She could see her apartment building from the street corner where she waited.

But, when that man had called her beautiful, and started following her. She felt protective of Castle. She felt protective of herself, yes, but she had the sudden urge to defend her nonexistent romantic relationship. One that hadn't even begun, yet.

Yet?

Was there a yet?

She crossed the street and turned left to her building. The door was open letting the fresh air in for a change. She crossed the lobby and pushed the elevator button twice out of habit.

Maybe that's what she was missing.

Kate didn't need to redecorate to fill something in her life. Maybe she just needed to gain the courage to finally just let things happen. The elevator let her off at her floor and she headed for her apartment.

Would things be different when he got home?

She entered the too familiar room and sat on the couch just like before. There were thoughts filling her mind and all she wanted was a relaxing walk.

Maybe she would know? Maybe something would happen and everything would make sense.

She turned on the television and watched the news. Nothing else was on. An hour passed, she ate dinner. Tried to push all of her thoughts away until she felt her phone buzz from across the couch. Castle's picture came upon the screen and the beginning of his message was below it.

"Be home soon. Left campus an hour ago."

Her chest tightened, pushing something – some emotion – from her chest to her fingers, her toes. Her senses heightened, the hair on her arm reacted. She felt excited, impatient, eager for him to walk through that door.

That felt new.

Not new, she's always excited to see him, but now she knew why. She realized – it clicked.

Castle sat in traffic with his mother sleeping to his right. He gripped the wheel and stared tiredly at the car in front of him. All he wanted to do was drop his mother off and drive home. He wanted to see Kate and ask what she had done all day. He wanted to talk to her and hug her and hold her. He wanted to be out of this line of traffic.

She couldn't sleep. Kate was wide-awake. She was pacing the floor like before, but she wasn't stuck this time. She had work tomorrow, but she didn't care.

What would she do? He would walk through that door and –

- what.

Kate was nervous. She was never nervous.

Finally he was turning onto the corner of his old street – his street. Still his street. He said goodbye to his mother and let her out of the car promising to call her sometime this week. He pulled away from the sidewalk and back onto the road, finally in his home stretch. He reached the building that contained everything that he wanted: sleep, food, Kate. He parked his car, locked it. Left the parking garage and went inside. The man in the lobby let him pass – turning a blind eye to the new living situation. He got inside the elevator and took it up. He was using the last bit of energy he had to get to her door – their door. He turned the key and the familiar smell of home filled his lungs. A comforting atmosphere compared to the stressful day he had. Kate was sitting on the couch but when she saw him she stood up, fast.

"Hey. Why are you up?"

"Oh – I'm – I was – how was your trip?"

"Fine. Stressful. College is stressful."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Do you want anything? To drink. Do you want anything to drink?"

"Kate, are you okay?" Castle said lightly.

"Yeah. Me? I'm fine."

"Okay, you're just acting weird."

"Am I?" she said, putting a hand to the back of her neck.

Castle looked confused.

Get it together. Nothing happened and you're acting pathetic.

Kate walked over and sat down on the couch, across from Castle sitting in the chair.

"How was your day?" he asked.

"Fine. I went for a run, " She said, taking a deep breath trying to calm herself down. It wasn't like they didn't go through this before. Sitting here, talking about their day. It didn't need to be different.

"Sounds better than mine. You know, I'm proud of Alexis, I am. But I do wish that I didn't have to go through all of this. But, one day is just one day. And if she can be happy for a semester then it's worth it."

"So she's all settled in? Nothing more to do?"

"Yeah."

The sat in silence, but it was awkward this time.

"Castle, I have a question."

"Yeah?"

"Does she know about us? Not – not us, us. But, like what's going on."

Us?

"She knows enough."

"Is she okay with it?"

"She's adjusting. She knows enough to have a reason behind everything. She's doing fine, Kate. Why? What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I was just wondering how she's doing. "

Something was different. She was different. She wasn't sad, but she wasn't Kate. She was jittery. Like she had too much coffee that was only affecting her nerves. Her hair was tied up in a bun and she was in sweats. She looked like she was comfortable – had a good day, but something was off. He was too tired to dissect it tonight.

"Okay, I'm going to go to bed. I'll see you in the morning."

"Okay, night."

Kate watched him walk away wishing that he wasn't. He closed his door, saw the doorknob turn. She could just go turn it the other way, rewind it and do this right. Step into his room and look at his eyes, sink into them and let everything fall into place. Fall into his arms. Let herself –

Let herself what? What was she trying to do?

She was nervous for nothing. She needed to pull herself together. She stood up and went into the kitchen to grab a glass of water before heading to bed.

Castle opened his door and walked into the living room startling Kate. Her eyes widened, innocence spilled over her face. She wasn't hiding anything.

"Forgot my phone."

Castle turned, headed back to his room.

"Castle!" Kate said, the words taking over her body.

"Yeah?"

She built the sentence in her mouth, prepared herself to change everything, but nothing spilled out. The courage was stuck.

"Ne – never mind. Good night."

Stay tuned.