Chapter 11

Harry sat alone inside the Hogs Head pub staring blankly off into space. He was no longer shedding tears of pain and loss, he had no more inside. He had just arrived here from the burrow and the encounter there still played over and over in his head, like a terrible movie on an endless loop. He had to look into Molly Wesleys eyes as the truth of her son's death hit her soul like a shot blasted straight from the center of hell. He watched as the life and joy shed her tender eyes, being replaced by horror and immense pain, pain he felt he had caused. How much more would those he cared about suffer because of him, he wondered. He watched as she collapsed to the ground, unable to bear the news. George happened to be there, along with Arthur, they helped her to a chair and wrapped their arms around her. Harry had just stood there and watched the scene, feeling completely outside it.

He didn't feel he deserved to be a part of their mourning, their painful tears. He stood there as the Weasleys tried to comfort each other and all Harry felt was guilt, the deepest guilt for having rained this misery on them. He left shortly after and made his way here, having already told Susan before seeing the Weasleys and electing a similar response. She to seemed to fall to pieces and Harry couldn't comfort her, he couldn't comfort anyone, for him the pain was still too real, to close. He sat there feeling cold inside, empty. All his life there was always something about him that seemed to infect those he loved, he felt truly cursed. He stared at his untouched drink, he really didn't want it, he just wanted a pretense for being there.

He wore a look that told all he craved solitude, and all picked up on that aura and granted him his wish, they left him to grieve in peace. He was so disconnected he didn't notice the door to the bar swinging open and a familiar figure slowly make their way in.

She walked over to the table where he sat alone and placed her soft comforting hand on his back. He eased slightly thinking he knew who its owner was.

"How are you doing Harry," said a soft and tender voice full of compassion, a voice that caught Harry, it wasn't Hermione whom he thought it was, it was a deeper, more fiery voice. He turned and looked up to find the beautiful face of Ginny Weasley looking back down at him.

"Ginny, I thought you'd be with your family," Harry said quietly.

"I was, but I needed to make sure you were OK, that you weren't torturing yourself for this like I knew you would be," she said in a soft and yet firm voice.

"Ginny I" Harry began but was hastily cut off.

"Don't start Harry, don't start telling me how this is your fault, it's not, Ron knew what he was doing when he joined the Auror's he knew the danger and risk that was involved. He knew full well and it cheapens what he's done, makes it seem smaller if you downplay his sacrifice by putting it all on you," she said taking the seat across from him taking his hands into hers.

"You know he died saving me, I don't know, maybe it would have been better if things had been reversed," he said plainly, in a monotone voice.

"Maybe it would have been," she said in a true voice, letting him know it wasn't said cynically or in mockery of what he had said, "then again maybe not, whose to say, we can't see all ends, we don't know why things happen the way they do. But what happened, happened, so it was meant to be that way, look at me Harry," he did and found no tears, but there was pain, deep pain but through it he found the will he currently seemed to be lacking, the will to carry on.

"You are not the master of fate, if you were than you'd have cause to feel guilt, but your not so you don't," she finished letting her eyes tell him she really believed this.

"Thank you Ginny, you can't know how much words like that help," Harry said emotion slowly flooding back into his voice.

"Yes I can, I know full well, now pick yourself up Potter, your daughter still needs you, Ron told me about it, Hermione has to go alone tomorrow doesn't she," Ginny asked.

Harry simply nodded, "Unless I can think of a way around it, I can't let her risk herself, these fuckers have taken all their going to take from me, I swear I am going to kill every last one of them if it's the last thing I ever do," Harry said letting his vitriol ooze out of him.

"I know how you feel Harry, believe me I do, I love Rose as if she were mine but you can't risk her, you have to let Hermione do this alone, don't underestimate her she can handle this, I promise it will all work out, don't lose faith," Ginny said with a blazing passion, needing Harry to understand her in this.

Harry simply looked at her and nodded, he knew she was right, Hermione had to do this alone, she had to be the one to get their daughter back. And she would be.