I waited until Katniss and I were alone to tell her. I knew that she wouldn't be happy about it. I wasn't happy about it. I was worried because I didn't want to go back there. I didn't want to admit that I was sort of afraid too. Last time I was in the Capitol they kept me there for tests to make sure I could come home. The tests weren't painful, well most of them anyway. But they were boring and they weren't fun because they watched me while I was having a flashback and then studied my brain cells.

Raina Rue and Cannon are sleeping in their rooms. Since Cannon is two he sleeps in his own room, though for a long time he slept with us. Katniss was pushing him out of our room but I wanted to keep him in. I loved having him here because I missed having a new born. I miss having an infant now but I like being able to talk in an almost normal human voice to both of my children besides just babbling.

"Katniss the doctors in the Capitol…" I don't know how to put this. I sit against the backboard of the bed with Katniss head on my lap. I touch her hair gently and look down into her eyes while I speak.

"What Peeta?" she asks urging me on.

"The doctor wants me to come to the Capitol where they can do some tests. They want to see how my brain is now after relapse. They want to see if everything's healing." I explain.

"Healing?"

"Sort of like when your tracker jacker stings healed but in my head." I tell her. She shudders at the thought of them going into my head again.

"When?" She sits up now paying more attention.

"Friday." Today is Wednesday, that doesn't give us much time to tell the kids.

"Friday." She says, "How long?"

"I come back on Monday."

"That's three nights alone, Peeta." She says and I was thinking the same thing.

"I know, but I think it will be good. I should go."

"I know you should. The kids are going to miss you a lot. I'm going to miss you." She has no idea how much I will miss her. How much it will hurt when I am not with her. After a bad dream or a flashback she won't be there. I won't be able to feel her soft touch and hear her gentle words. I want that. I need that.

"It's not that long. You'll be back, and I'm sure it won't be that bad. Right?" she see's through me. She holds my shaking hand.

"Are you afraid to go back to the Capitol?" she asks and moves closer to me.

"A little," I have to admit.

"Don't be. Your going to be okay. And I'll be fine here with the kids. You don't have to worry about us." She lays her head on my chest and I feel her close to me. I feel her warmth and her heart.

"Thank you. I love you."

I didn't want to tell him goodbye. I was afraid I was going to break down and just start bawling or shaking or something. I don't want my kids to see that. Of course I don't have to worry about Peeta breaking down. He is very good in front of the kids. We are at the train station with him. He carries only a backpack, he doesn't need much else and he won't be there for long.

"I have to go guys," Peeta says.

"No!" Raina Rue protests. I don't want her to do that because I don't want to make him feel worse.

"I'll be back soon. You get to have special time with mommy for a few days. Keep her company." Peeta says to them.

"Yay!" good she is distracted. I don't want her to cry. He puts her down and then I give Peeta Cannon who was on my hip. He whispers something to Cannon that makes him laugh, his little baby laugh and then I put him next to Raina on the floor. My turn.

I see Peeta sigh and then he pulls me in his arms. He hugs me for a long minute breathing into my hair. I wonder what he is feeling. I am sad that he is leaving. I am worried that he will be hurt or in pain. I am worried that he will miss us and miss the kids. I feel his body shudder.

"Don't be afraid." I whisper in his shoulder.

"You too," he reminds me. He is right. I can't be afraid either.

"Take care of the kids. I'll be home soon," he says.

"I will and I know. Call me." I say. He hugs me again.

"I love you. I'll see you soon." I promise. He responds with the same thing and then lets go. He kisses my lips twice and we linger there holding each other close. He let go and turned to get on the train. I could see him waving in the window. It reminded me when he waved to all of the people in the Capitol. I never did, but he was smart enough to. Now he was waving to his little family. We are little and broken but still good.

It was a very sad and long walk home.