Blame Game

Back at my house, I had just barely finished shaving my legs when Gabe knocked on the bathroom door. "Sang, sweetie, you almost done? I wanna' play with your hair before you leave." He didn't wait for an answer and peeked his head in.

"Gabe!" Luckily my back was turned toward the door, but honestly. Didn't these boys know a thing about privacy?

"Fuck, Trouble. What kinda guy do you think I am? My eyes are closed." Gabe harrumphed. Like he had a right to be irritated. "I didn't hear you respond. I was making sure you were ok. And besides, you forgot this…"As I turned to see what he was talking about a warm, fluffy towel hit me in the face and then bounced onto the bathroom floor.

I tried to scowl at him, but the smile on Gabe's face made it impossible. "Thank you Gabe."

"You're welcome, Beautlful. Now hurry up and get dressed." With that, he shut the door and went back to my room, I assumed, to wait for me to get dressed.

Gabe had picked out a pair of red athletic shorts and a white t-shirt for me to wear for the day. It was something I would have picked out to lounge around the house in, or maybe something I would have chosen for a run. It was very comfortable and made me curious as to what Nathan had planned for the day.

A stuffed back pack sat near my doorway, but whenever I asked about it Gabe just popped me in the thigh and told me not to worry about it. When I turned to Victor for help, he would just shake his head and smile. He wasn't any help. Luke just laughed. "No way, short stuff, I'm not spilling the beans. Nate should be here any minute. You'll find out soon enough." I just huffed in mock exasperation. They were helping each other out, I couldn't be mad about that. It was actually rather sweet that they were working to keep each other's secrets.

Luke was lying across my bed, watching Gabe as he applied my makeup. When I complained, he promised that it was only going to be a little tinted moisturizer and some mascara. "Shit Sang. You have to be the only girl I know that's ever complained about getting her hair and makeup done." Gabe continued to grumble under his breath while I focused on staring at the ceiling and not blinking. If I was able to wear lounge clothes for the date, then why did I even need makeup?

Victor was on the floor, sitting against my bed fiddling with his phone. "Are you excited, Princess?" Victor's question seemed genuine, and I bit my lip, nervous about how to answer. "Nate's got a fun day planned. You're going to have a lot of fun, promise." When I met his gaze, Victor smiled sweetly. No doubt he could tell that I was a little edgy. Victor was always so perceptive of my feelings and moods.

My finger started to push at my lip, and Gabe reached over and pulled it away. "Stop that, Trouble. You have nothing to fucking worry about. Not with us." His voice had lowered and I could have sworn I felt it pulse through my body, touching the deepest parts of me- making me feel things that I didn't have a name for. Gabe still hadn't let go of my hand, and slowly he brought it up towards his lips, pressing a warm kiss on my palm and then lying it on his cheek, covering it with his own.

From his position on the floor, Victor cleared his throat, reminding us that he and Luke were still in the room. When I met Victors' gaze, he gave me a sad smile and that helped to snap me out of whatever had just happened between Gabe and me. I dropped my hand from where it rested on Gabe. I tried to smile at Victor, but he wouldn't even look at me. This was all so confusing. I couldn't get closer to one boy without upsetting the others. Once again, I was doubting again. How were we going to make this work? It seemed impossible. Fortunately, a knock on the door broke the tension that had begun to weave its way about my bedroom.

Luke jumped up and ran toward the stairs, eager to get to the door first. Gabe slapped his hands onto my thighs a couple times before he got up and followed Luke, leaving Victor and me alone in the room.

"Victor-" I wanted to make things better between us. I hated it when any of the boys were upset with me. Why couldn't I control myself when I was around them? I feared that one day they were going to get sick of me and walk away, and I would have no one to blame but myself. They were so close, brothers in every way aside from blood. Would my attentions or lack thereof, cause rifts amongst their tightly knit group? I didn't want to be the reason that they got into fights. I'd take myself out of the picture before I let that happen.

"Don't worry about it, Princess. This is my problem, not yours. You did nothing wrong." When I didn't look convinced, he got up on his knees and walked over to sit between my legs, bringing his hands up to cup the sides of my face and neck. "Honestly, Sang. This is something that I need to get over. You did nothing wrong. Ok?" Victor's eyes were imploring, begging me to understand. Woodenly, I nodded my head once but Victor didn't seem persuaded by my deplorable performance. I didn't blame him. I was a terrible liar. "Sang, sweetheart. My beautiful girl." He was so close; I felt his heated breath dance across my lips and I poked my tongue out hoping to catch a taste. I reached up and grabbed onto Victor's wrists, pushing and pulling at the same time. How could I be allowing this moment when Nathan was downstairs waiting to take me on a date? It was enough to scramble my already jumbled brain.

Victor pulled himself closer, pressing his soft lips to the sensitive spot below my ear. My eyes closed without me telling them to. Before I had time to process the gamut of sensations his kiss had created, he started to speak. "Princess." His lips brushed over my sensitive skin and I trembled from his touch. "I am so sorry. I don't want you to blame yourself. This is all me. I need to work this out. I knew what I was getting into from the very beginning. I would do anything to keep you. Please, don't let my selfish reactions make you doubt yourself. I couldn't bear it. Please." Victor trailed his lips towards the corner of my mouth, where he stopped. "Please, Princess." He seemed to be asking for more than my forgiveness, but I was at a complete loss as to what he wanted. My brain almost felt detached from my body. I couldn't think, only feel.

Victor's lips were so soft and so sweet as he pressed them to the corner of my mouth. I was almost disappointed that he hadn't kissed me on the lips. But Victor always knew what I needed and he understood that now wasn't the time to take things further between us. Not yet, but soon.