Facebook
Author's Note: This is a result of the requests I asked for. So this one's dedicated to you, WhiteFire56. Enjoy! Also, I won't be posting anything new until at least the 9th or 10th. The internet is out for upgrades in my building until then, and I have practical exams this Friday and Saturday for my police position.
Disclaimer: The Final Fantasy series and all of its associated content are property of Square Enix. I am making no profit from this whatsoever.
Yuffie was perched on a chair at the desk in the corner of her living room with a blanket wrapped around her legs as she tapped away on the keyboard while clicking through her friends' profiles. It was a mindless activity, but it gave her a chance to get in touch with people she hadn't seen in a while.
'Hey girl, come by Edge next month for my birthday. Everybody's going out and you know Tifa and I don't like getting schwasted and dancing on bars without you! - Yuffie xoxo,' she wrote on Elena's wall. Not a minute later, a red box popped up in the corner of the screen to notify her of something new. Yuffie clicked it to find that Reno had liked her post.
"Ewwwwww," she said aloud as she made her way back to the main page. Vincent looked over with mild interest from his position on the couch, but didn't say anything. He was spending the evening reading, and didn't mind that Yuffie was enamored with the computer screen at the moment, since it gave him an extra hour or so of relative silence to enjoy the book he had bought yesterday.
Yuffie scrolled down the main page that was her news feed. Reeve had written something on Barret's wall about going to visit him in Corel next week. Rude had just uploaded about a hundred pictures from the Turks vacation to Costa del Sol, most of which featured Reno drunk in his Speedo, posing in various locations around town.
She continued scrolling downward until something caught her eye - something big and red and important. "Oh my Gods!" She exclaimed as she nearly toppled from the chair in her excitement. She steadied herself before squealing again and frantically clicking the 'Like' button.
"Are you okay? What are you looking at?" Vincent asked as he set his book down and walked over to stand behind her. He hoped it wasn't that two girls, one cup video again.
"Cloud and Tifa are engaged!" Yuffie yelled, turning slightly to hug Vincent around the middle before pointing at the screen.
Vincent leaned in, squinting to read the small text. Sure enough, in the middle of the screen where Yuffie was pointing, it read 'Cloud Strife and Tifa Lockhart are now engaged', right next to a big, red heart. Vincent scowled. "What is this? How do you know it's true?"
"Vinnie, it's on Facebook, of course it's true!" Yuffie replied as she began typing out an excited reply to the news.
"Facebook?" Vincent asked, clearly confused.
Yuffie scrolled up to the top of the page and pointed at the blue and white banner. "Yeah, Facebook. You should get one."
"No thanks," Vincent replied as he turned around to go lounge on the couch with his book. Yuffie was quiet for a moment before looking over at him with her bottom lip quivering. He sighed, setting the book down again. "What is it now?"
"You should make a Facebook so I can say who I'm in a relationship with," Yuffie replied. "Or at least so I can say who it's complicated with. They should really give you a space to write why it's so complicated. You and I would have the best one ever."
Vincent sighed and stood up again, walking over to the dining room to get an extra chair before returning and sitting next to her at the computer. He was a sucker for Yuffie's sad face. "What do we have to do?"
Yuffie squealed as she clicked the logout button and began typing Vincent's name and e-mail address into the form to create a new account. She paused on the birthday. "Vinnie, can we hide your birthday on your profile? I don't want anyone thinking I'm sleeping with an old man."
"Fine," Vincent said, glaring at the old man comment. She knew he was sensitive about his age.
Within a minute, the account was made and Vincent was clicking the activation link in his e-mail. Yuffie then took over the controls again and quickly began filling in his profile.
"Let's add you to the WRO network so you can find people from work easier. Now, you're a moderate, you like classical music. Your interests include reading, firearms, and underage girls from Wutai," Yuffie said as she typed into each of the fields.
Vincent reached a hand over and hit the backspace key, erasing 'underage girls from Wutai' from the interests field. Yuffie smiled before kissing him on the cheek. "Well, it was almost true. At least the first time anyway. Hmmm, do we have any pictures of you on here?"
She searched the pictures folder of the computer for a moment before finding a suitable picture of him. He had his cape on, staring away from the camera in typical broody Vincent fashion. Yuffie uploaded it before moving on to the task of finding him some friends.
"Okay, now we'll add everyone from Avalanche. Everyone's on here except you and Red. But he doesn't have any thumbs. I don't know what your excuse was," she yammered as she clicked 'Add to Friends' on Tifa's profile. "Okay, and we'll add the Turkeys and Rufus, oh and Shelke."
Yuffie then logged him out and logged back into her own account, where she accepted his friend request. She then went under the menu to edit her profile, where she added his name to the 'In a Relationship With…' field. Switching back again, she accepted the request.
"There! You're all set up. We just have to wait for everyone to accept your friend requests and then you're in business!" Yuffie said excitedly, drawing him into another sideways hug and planting a kiss on his lips.
Vincent didn't look nearly as excited, but he vowed to log on to the thing at least once in a while to keep Yuffie happy. He supposed it would be nice to have another means of communication besides the phone, which he didn't bother answering most of the time anyway.
Three Weeks Later…
Yuffie walked into the dining room, setting her armful of groceries on the table before turning around to go get more. "Vince! Can you give me a hand with the food?"
No answer.
Yuffie huffed before walking back out to the car. Maybe he wasn't home. She had left three hours ago to go see Tifa to help her pick out a wedding dress, and she had stopped for groceries before coming home. Vincent had been there when she'd left, playing some game on Facebook while he lounged around the house in his underwear. Ah, the joys of being a WRO contract and not a full-timer.
After retrieving the rest of the groceries, Yuffie walked back in and began putting them away. A soft clicking sound from the living room caught her attention and she paused her unpacking to go investigate. Once she walked into the living room, she couldn't believe her eyes. Vincent was still seated at the computer, still in his underwear, staring at what appeared to be a little farm that took up the whole screen.
"Vincent! I wanted some help with the groceries," she complained before walking over to stand behind his chair. "What are you even doing?"
Vincent looked up at her as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I'm planting raspberries and milking the cows so I can get enough coins to buy a tractor."
"What the hell are you talking about?" Yuffie demanded as she threw her hands up in exasperation.
"Farmville," Vincent replied. "You make a little farmer, and then you grow vegetables and things on your farm to get coins, which you can use to get a bigger farm and more vegetables. Or a tractor, which is what I'm saving for. It's on Facebook; you should play and be my neighbor."
Yuffie shook her head before backing out of the room, suddenly quite concerned about the monster she'd created. As she resumed her task of putting the groceries away, she pulled out her cell to dial Tifa's number.
"Hey, Yuffie," Tifa answered after two rings. "What's up?"
"Teef," Yuffie whispered. "I'm going to text you tonight before we go to bed. I need you to deactivate Vincent's Facebook. He's addicted."
As Tifa agreed to perform the task Yuffie asked of her, Vincent continued to sit in the living room, drooling slightly as he clicked on tiny brown patches of dirt on the screen so that his farmer would begin planting a new row of raspberries. Only 14,753 more coins left until he was the proud owner of a pixilated, red tractor.