Disclaimer: I own many things but the Twilight series is not one of them. All rights are deserved to Stephenie Meyers. I also do not own the quote from Pride and Prejudice—that right belong to the wonderful Miss Austen.

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Love in Affliction

Chapter Eleven: The Affliction

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January 1, 1896

"Stop your moping, Edward." Jasper growled in frustration as his cousin's mood dampened his own.

"I lost," Edward whispered, repeating the same phrase for the past hour.

The Cullen's and McCarty's had left long ago and back to their own homes. Alice refused to come out of her room, thoroughly infuriated by Edward. She herself had believed that Edward had a change of heart and felt something for Bella. She could not forgive him so easily; the thought of losing her dearest friend was too hard to bear.

Jasper grasped Edward's shoulders, shaking him lightly. "Cease your prattling! Instead of being a pathetic fool, do something about your indiscretions!"

"What could I possibly do?" he asked, his eyes haunted with grief.

"Go to her!"

"And what? What could I say? She does not even want to look at me."

"Tell her the whole story." Jasper pulled Edward up by the arm, shoving him out of the room and dragging him down the stairs. "Take a train—no matter the cost. Tell her what needs to be said! Things will fall into place."

"You honestly believe that?"

"I know so. I can feel it."

And so he left. Without thinking, Edward shot out of the door and demanded to go to the train station, buying a non-stop ticket. As he boarded the train, he hoped that Bella would find it in her heart to forgive him. He had been cruel to life and the people in it because he was subjected to the pain all others felt.

But she did not deserve any of this. She did not deserve to be tricked and deceived. The image of her face flashed in his mind. Bella. Her curious, teasing eyes sparkled at him. Bella. Her interrupted confession, telling him that she fancied him. Bella. And a scene he did not witness invaded his thoughts. He could see Elise playing her game, coy and vindictive, falsely sympathizing with his love. Bella.

He closed his eyes, tapping his fingers against the glass impatiently. An icy terror gripped his body. What if she did not accept him? He had to plan before hand. After asking for a piece of paper and a pen from the conductor, Edward began on his letter.

Bella

I do not intend to frighten you with this letter, but merely feel the need to clarify the events that have occurred…

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Only hours ago did she leave behind the world of illusions, and she did not regret her choice. The outcome of her holidays was not ideal, but she left with what little dignity she had left. Though she swore not to lethis words to affect her, she could not help but hear his pretty phrases echo in her mind.

The sweet scent of his breath faintly lingered, tickling her ears. His smoldering, emerald eyes haunted her, enticing her to join in his mischief. The crooked smile that played upon his lips still left her breathless. For all this, she was a fool. She was a fool for love.

How silly she was to fall for his deceitful lies and trickery. The imprudence of it all was unbelievable. Bella could not believe how easily persuaded she was. She never was one to trust others easily. On first meeting, it took Bella nearly a year to truly trust Alice. After a life full of disappointment and betrayal, Bella found it hard to put faith in another person.

And yet, she put her faith into him. Edward. She had gifted him so many things—so many rarities that neither other man nor woman received, yet he repaid her poorly. His gifts were merely bought from tainted money or a product of deception. The art set may as well have been a gift from Alice, for Alice told Edward of her passion for the arts.

She marveled at how many books he must have read. To write such pretty verses seemed sinful in her mind. It should have been a crime to make something sweet sound awfully agonizing. Never again could Bella read Shakespeare or poetry. It would not hold the same ardency it once had.

After dealing with a man of cunning whom wrote beautiful sonnets, Bella could not fathom how anything written about love and affections could be true. If someone so vile could write such a persuasive and passionate, who was to say that anything in the world had meaning.

And to think I would not let him have this satisfaction. She thought bitterly. Edward has changed my point of view. How unpleasant I have become.

"Can I see your ticket, Miss?"

Bella looked up at the usher, a blank stare in her eyes. She handed him her ticket wordlessly, staring back at the blurry landscape passing before her eyes. The usher handed back her ticket and left, leaving Bella to revel on her thoughts.

She gasped harshly, hugging her stomach. Her heart pounded profusely, and Bella feared that if she let go, she would fade away. The pain of heartbreak had been too unbearable. Even though he had shattered her, Bella still could not forget Edward. She did not know why he had affected her so much.

Why? She thought, horrified. Why have the fates turned against me? Have I not endured sufficiently? Is it not enough that I lack kinship and affection? Is it not adequate that I live according to others and their expectations?

Tears began to cloud her eyes, slowly streaming down her pale face. How could you do this to me, Edward?

To be so monstrous was a mystery to Bella. He tricked her, used her, and lied to her. Every word from his mouth was a lie. He used the early death of his mother, and his father's character as an excuse. The man truly was spoiled. Nothing was ever enough for Edward. He always had to win, no matter what the cost.

She closed her eyes and pressed her face against the cool glass. The soft pattering of the rain reached her ears, lulling Bella into an uneasy sleep. The heavens saw fit to mourn with her. After all, the devil's advocate had captured her heart, and no matter how wrong it seemed, Bella did not regret the lies.

The winter's light had awoken her the next morning. The train had stopped at the final station, and with that, Bella took a carriage back to Brighton Academy. Dreams haunted her that night. At first they were pleasant, teasing her with an illusive future of marriage and children, but then the dream turned dark, featuring Miss Dervish and him.

Everything happened in a blur. Before she knew it, the carriage stopped at the Brighton, helping her carry her trunk to the door. The mistress welcomed her, questioning her stay in London. "It was…" But what could Bella say? It was pleasant? Surely not.

"I know. The wonders of London leave everyone speechless," the mistress gushed, a pert smile forming on her lips. "Oh—you have a visitor, Miss Swan. He says he is your relative. I will have Marianna take your trunk to your room, while you speak to him."

Bella shrugged slightly, walking relentlessly to the den. As she opened the doors, her stomach churned, gripping angrily. All breath had been lost when she saw his face. "What are you doing here?" She asked, horrified, as she shut the door.

Edward stared at her kindly. "I'm afraid I had to lie to your mistress. If I had not said that we were kin, she would not grant us privacy."

"I have nothing to say to you, Sir Cullen."

"But I have something to say to you." He stepped closer to her; though keep a few feet of distance between their bodies. "You have been deceived—"

"Stop," she whispered harshly. "Do not say another word or take another step. I ask you to leave."

"Please—"

Tears pooled into her already reddened eyes. "Have you not caused me enough pain, Edward?"

"If you will just listen—"

"I never knew that you were a sadist!" Bella cried out, but not quite loud enough to cause trouble. "But then again, I did not know that you were betrothed."

Edward bit his lip. "I am not exactly betrothed, Miss Swan."

"I saw the contract!"

"You may have seen it, but did you read it?"

"There was no need to do so."

"If you would have read it, you would have known that I am technically not betrothed to that vile shrew!" Edward's eyebrows furrowed. "The contract clearly states that if I do not find a wife by my birthday, then the betrothal between Elise and I is activated."

Bella stared at him, astounded. The tears spilt freely down her face, her body shaking lightly. "And you think that makes it all the better?" She laughed hysterically, hiccupping. "You lied to me, Edward!"

"I may have kept that from you, but it was all real!" Edward exclaimed wildly. "I love you, Isabella Swan! I love you most ardently. Every word I said and every part in our courting was tangible. It was there!"

"I do not know what is real or what is not. Not anymore. Not until I met you." Bella stared at him, clutching her heart and stomach, trying to maintain the ache that throbbed within.

"Believe me when I say—"

"No!" She screamed furiously, her eyes livid with anger. "I will not believe you, Edward!" Bella turned to leave, until she felt a tug on her wrist.

"Bella, listen—" But he was cut off as a sharp sting came to his face. His eyes widened upon seeing Bella's hand raised. She had slapped him.

She took in deep breaths, gulping for air angrily. "No. You listen, Edward. I fell for your games. I fell for your lies. I will not be fooled once more. You betrayed me when you promised not to. You took my heart and toyed with it so cruelly." Her lips curled in a sneer. "You do not know the meaning of love."

"Not until I met you," Edward said passionately, unnerved at her change in attitude.

"That is your problem, Sir Cullen—your affliction. I did not see it before, but I see it perfectly now."

"And what is my affliction, as you put it?"

"Love," Bella murmured, backing away from him. "You did not receive this when you were younger. You did not have a mother, to teach your morale. You did not get the attention you wanted from your father. There was no parental affection." She turned, facing the wall. "But you had a chance. You had an uncle and aunt who felt for you dearly. You have two cousins whom treat you like a brother."

Edward stood shocked, unable to speak.

Bella then spun around, pointing an accusing finger at him. "I had none of that. I never received so much as a hug from my mother or father! They favored my brother, my sister-in-law, and now my nephew. Never once have they told me they were proud of me!" She began to tremble violently, the tears spilling once more. "No. I have not been as spoilt as you, but you cannot toy with people just because you are angry at the world!"

He opened his mouth, and then closed it, still speechless.

"You found love in affliction." Bella dropped her hand to her side, her eyes swimming with mixed emotions. "You used love so carelessly and brought it a new meaning. Love is nothing more than torture when it comes from your mouth. The word brings suffering to my heart."

"I…I am sorry, madam." Consumed by guilt, Edward walked passed Bella, and out of the door. He turned around, a hollow look in his troubled green eyes. "You think this lowly of me, Miss Swan, and for that I am sorry. I will take my leave, but for every patch of distance that I put between us, will be a piece of my heart ripping to shreds." He then laughed coldly. "Yes, even a man of my demeanor has a heart."

"Please…"

"Yes, I will leave. I hope one day when we meet, you will not hold the same resentment as you do now. I am not as ruthless as you make me out to be, Miss Swan." He sighed, and then turned to leave. "Elise Dervish does not deserve your sympathy either. She is a woman of many scandals, and I am sure that not all she said was out of truth." He paused for a moment, and then continued. "Even if this does not mean much of anything to you, I love you, Bella. I do not mean that in a connotation of suffering or torment. I love you like you deserve to be loved. I suppose that does not matter now."

Bella closed her eyes until she heard the soft click of the door. When she was sure he had left, she ran up the stairs and to the suite that she shared with Alice. After locking the door, she threw the window open, allowing the bitter chill to enter her room. To enter her heart. At the moment, she did not want to feel.

She welcomed the numb feeling that seeped into her veins. With that, her body fell to the floor, lithe and tragic. A deep sob ripped from her throat as a gust of wind filtered the room. She did not notice the sudden drop in temperature. She did not pay any attention to her surroundings.

She did not even notice that as the wind came in, it blew a letter from atop her desk, causing it to float under Alice's bed.

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Authoress Note: Yes, I am sorry. Call me cruel, but it had to be done. I know all of you are upset about the last chapter and expected a nice fluffy dose in this one, but I'm afraid I have fooled you, but I am not Elise! Bella fell for Edward but she can't put her trust in him so easily after all those lies—gasp—But please keep up those wonderful reviews. I can't believe how great all of you are. All your wonderful comments make me feel so much better because everything is slowly going wrong.

ALSO: I need a Beta for this story. Of course, I will want to finish the story before I have it Beta'd but if anyone is interested, I would prefer a someone with experience help me out. Thank you and much love.