Chapter 11: Lying Monsters
"Don't you understand? What you take into your hands, you take into your heart."
—Witness (1985)
494 days prior. Kira Investigation Team Headquarters.
It was well after midnight, two days after Higuchi's death. Misa had been released, and Light and the rest of the team were all asleep—excluding L, that was, who aside from Rem was the only one that had remained awake.
Unfortunately, with L's irregular sleeping habits it meant that for so many hours each night Light wouldn't be able to monitor their discussions. He could not very well remain awake all hours of the day to watch over L without the detective becoming suspicious. L was already suspicious enough of Light as it was, despite the two rules that had apparently cleared him of guilt.
And so that evening, to no great surprise to Rem, L had asked if he could speak with her.
Light would not want this, Rem knew, but there was really no other way around it. She had to seem impartial, and if she refused to speak to L for no apparent reason he might become suspicious of her motivations. Light would just have to trust her enough that she would not to make a mistake that would endanger him or Misa.
But Light wouldn't have to worry. L would find nothing from her, just as he had found nothing from his previous questionings. As long as she remained careful, there was no harm in speaking to L alone, Rem reassured herself.
Besides, Rem thought, there was something about this human that intrigued her, just as she had become intrigued by Light over time. They were not like other humans. Not like Higuchi. Far from it. They did not seem to be motivated by money, or lust, or power for power's sake. Something else drove them. It made her curious to learn more about what made them so different from the rest of their kind.
So often the human species disgusted Rem. Even her fellow shinigami fell under the same description more often than not. But strangely, she had come to respect Light and his ambitions, and she wondered if under different circumstances she would feel the same respect for L were he not a danger to Misa's life. A funny thing, he was so similar in appearance to Gelus, the hunched shinigami that died protecting Misa, and yet L might be the one to harm Misa in the end, and not help her. He had already imprisoned Misa once, and Rem could tell that he still did not fully trust any of the events that had led to Misa's and Light's release.
But Rem had not forgotten Light's earlier threats to Misa's life, either. In the end, neither of them could be trusted when it came to Misa's safety. That duty fell solely to herself.
L was sitting on a couch in the main work area, some distance away from the computers. His coffee, probably well over-sweetened, had long since gone cold. The death note lay nearby it, though L didn't seem to pay it any attention.
"Thank you for agreeing to speak to me at this hour, shinigami-san," L began, in a respectful tone.
Rem looked down at him. "I will answer any questions I can, human. The time of day does not matter to a shinigami," Rem replied, each sentence slow and measured.
"Thank you," L said. "However, I do not have any questions in mind at the moment."
"Then what is it you wish to speak about?" Rem did not show her puzzlement, but underneath she had reacted acutely to L's statement. He had only asked her questions up until now. What could he possibly have to say to her?
"I would like to tell you something, now that we are alone," L said, his expression unchanging. He picked up his coffee, but changed his mind and set it back down again. "Questions will come later," he said, then waited for Rem to respond.
"Speak, then." Rem was beginning to feel nervous. Questions, she could answer, or give some kind of vague response to, but how was she supposed to respond to this type of exchange?
She soon saw that her nervousness was not unfounded.
"As you know, I have suspected Light to be the original Kira all along," L began, matter-of-factly, after a brief silence. "If this is true, then eventually he will be exposed as Kira, whether it is by me or another. There is no escape for him."
The silence returned again as he waited for her response.
"It is not of my concern what happens to him," Rem said, choosing her words carefully, glad that shinigami were good at maintaining a calm outward appearance when they needed to. But she could not help but glance to the screens that had shown Misa's room—where she had been confined until her release earlier that day. "However, I know nothing about Light Yagami being this Kira that you seek," she finished, and hoped that L had not seen her eyes waver.
Thankfully, he did not appear to notice, and continued.
"That is a shame, because if you did, and you were willing to answer my questions, then I believe I would be able to stop Kira without endangering his life, or anyone else who has worked with him."
It was a trick, it had to be. But her curiosity got the better of her, and she had to ask.
"How would you manage that?"
L picked up his coffee once more, pausing a moment as he held it. "If it's true what I think; that those who have used the death note can lose their memory of it, then I might be able to use that to Kira's disadvantage. But I can't do it if I don't know all the details." He looked down at his cup, but still did not drink from it. "There might be other ways as well."
"But why would you want to do that in the first place? Aren't you doing this so you can find and punish Kira?"
"I'm here to solve this case, and that is all," L said. He turned his head slightly to the side, eyes dark and more difficult to read than a shinigami's. "But personally, I believe it better not to expose Kira to the world. I would rather he disappear silently. That would be a better punishment for him, I think—to live as a normal human being, and not as a god or a martyr."
"So if you had your way, Kira would live a normal life, unaware of who he had been?"
"Yes."
Rem stood there, astonished.
How had he done it? How had he found her weakness?
She found herself needing to take a breath, and the addition of oxygen seemed to help her thoughts some. She didn't need much; this air was so thick with the substance compared to the shinigami realm.
It did not matter how he had done it, Rem decided. L knew... and no matter what the 13-day rule told him he would always know that Light was Kira. He was too smart to be fooled for very long by such deceptive evidence, no matter how skillfully Light had planted it. No doubt L would try to test these rules soon if Rem did not reveal anything to him tonight.
Rem took another breath.
She was hoping it would not have to come to this—after all, it did mean she had to die. But it was the only way to spare Misa, now. L had left her with no choice.
She would have to kill him.
Automatically, her arm went for her death note.
It wouldn't take long. She could do it now, before anyone else would notice. And kill that other human too—Watari—just to make certain Light and Misa would be safe from them. The rest of the task force Light would be able to control, she knew.
L seemed to be watching her intently, and Rem realized she still hadn't responded to him. But it didn't matter any longer. She wouldn't have to keep up appearances anymore.
Unless...
Her arm stopped mid-movement. She let her arm drift back, making it seem as if the motion had been natural.
Maybe she had been looking at this all wrong. Even if L was lying right now, Rem still had the upper hand. He seemed desperate, and had likely come to her as a last resort.
And if he was telling the truth...
There were two options apparent to her right now. She could die now, and take L with her. Or she could wait, and see what L's plan was. If he was lying, she would find out and could kill him then before any harm was done. If he wasn't lying, then she would be able to survive and continue to protect Misa.
She might have to go against Light's wishes for the latter option... but if he would not truly come to harm, like L said, then Misa could still be happy with him. Kira or not.
L's earlier words rang through her head. If he did not catch Kira, then someone else probably would. It mattered little how intelligent Light was. There would always be people after him. Misa would always be in danger with that kind of lifestyle.
If only she had never brought the death note to Misa in the first place, Rem thought. Then Misa wouldn't have had to go through any of this. She would have been happier without Light. But Rem had given the notebook to her, and these were the consequences. She could try to undo some of the damage she had done, or she could take L with her now and leave Light and Misa to their fate.
Rem opened her mouth to speak. She had made her decision.
"If I help you, know this first: if you are lying to me about your intentions, I will kill you."
L heard her words, and seemed to relax slightly, as if he had also realized Rem's thoughts and been fearful of the outcome.
"That would be acceptable," he agreed. "But it will not be necessary, I assure you."
If L didn't think of something soon, he was going to die.
It hadn't been a lie, exactly, when he said he knew a way to stop Kira without him coming to harm, but it had been closer to that than to the truth.
He appeared to have been right, at least, about Rem's part in this. Her aloofness to L's questions was what originally made him suspect it, since any question that he asked which had the possibility to incriminate Light or Misa, Rem would never give a definite answer to. Whenever humans acted that way, it meant they were either trying to protect themselves, or protect somebody else.
It also seemed he had been right about Light and Misa losing their memories. It made sense, in a way, that such a phenomenon existed, if the shinigami did. If shinigami were real, and had always existed, why else would there be no evidence of them after so many thousands of years? Either the appearances of death notes in the human world were so rare and short-lived that all accounts been lost to legend until a more technologically advanced culture had come along, or there was some way to erase the knowledge of the death notes and the shinigami from human memory.
He would have to make his way carefully, now, if he had any chance of defeating Kira after this. But for the moment, he needed to focus on getting more information from Rem. He had little time to work with before Light would wake. And many details would still need to be worked out.
"I don't know how you figured out what my weakness was," Rem continued, "but since you did, I will answer truthfully any question you ask, as long as you remember that one condition."
"I will remember it," L said, steadily meeting her eyes.
"Good," Rem answered. "Then where do you want to begin?"
L wasted no time in asking her.
"Right," L nodded, his feet digging into the fabric of the couch. "Shinigami—Rem. Tell me how you first met Light Yagami. The original Kira."
It seemed to take a while before Rem answered, though it could not have been more than a short span of seconds.
"I will have to go back further than that to answer your question," Rem explained. "To the day I first met Misa."
Rem told him everything she knew, condensing it as much as she was able to. L interrupted her as little as possible, usually only to clarify something about Light's plan or the notebooks.
It was fortunate that she had researched the rules regarding the death notes a little before bringing one to the human world. Otherwise she would never have known some of the things that L asked about. She just hoped that it would be enough.
"So that was Light's plan all along..." L said, as Rem finished. "I may be in danger as we speak. Are you certain Misa no longer has her memories aside from what you have told her?"
"I am certain."
"We must carefully monitor Light and Misa's interactions over the next few days. He may have her retrieve the second death note, wherever it is hidden. And if her memories come back..."
Rem's eyes widened in realization. "You think Light will have her...?"
"Indeed. She saw me before I arrested her for being the second Kira. But it has been almost 12 hours since her release earlier today, and I am still alive for the moment. She may not have found it yet, or she has since forgotten my true name."
"It has been months. Even if she finds the notebook, she might not remember it," Rem said.
"I am hoping for that. However, I would still be dead within a few days, with or without Misa's help."
Rem started. "What do you mean?"
"If Misa could not kill me, then Light was relying on you to do it for him. I would no doubt have tried to test the rules, and if I could disprove them, Misa would be in danger again. The only option would have been for you to kill me," L said, looking at Rem. "In that scenario, Light wins no matter what. His plan is foolproof." L paused, then corrected himself. "Was."
This human was smart. Not even she had suspected completely until now what Lights plan was, and the detective had guessed it in less than an hour.
"Then what is your plan?"
"The solution is simple. We must obtain the other death note, and then hold Light the 490 days until he loses his memories, after which—"
"Destroying the death notes would work just as well," Rem interrupted. She had already explained to him that the rule about destroying the death note after touching it was fake. Had he already forgotten?
"...I would rather avoid that, if possible," L replied coolly. "We can hold Light in a cell, and let Misa remain free if she is willing to give up her memories again."
"I can't allow that."
"Why not?" L asked, a hint of annoyance entering his voice. "Light will still be released afterward."
But Rem remained resolute. "This will be done without Light or Misa being imprisoned."
"Misa could still visit him. I don't see the problem."
"I don't care if you burn the notebooks," Rem repeated. It was something that a shinigami couldn't do, but for humans it was perfectly fine. "Just don't lock Light up. Misa won't be happy that way. Remember the agreement you made."
"I am well aware of it."
"Then is this what you mean by your plan?"
"Please give me a minute to think," L said, avoiding her question, and then cupped his hands over his knees.
Rem allowed him silence, but she did not allow him the comfort of thinking alone. Her presence would have to remind him that her priorities were also his. There was no backing out of this now.
L's brow contorted in concentration. He seemed to slouch further and further, as if his thoughts had weight to them, pressing him down further as they increased in complexity. Rem wondered how long he could last before he became overwhelmed by them. The hour was late, after all, and she did not know the last time he had slept. Didn't humans need sleep to function? Certainly they must, even for L.
After a while, L's eyes shut, but his brow did not relax. Minutes passed, and Rem continued to wait.
She thought he had finally fallen asleep, when his eyes shot open again, and he glanced at the death note on the table in front him. He picked it up, scrutinizing it closely and flipping through its pages, before letting it rest by his side.
"I think I know what to do. It's going to be difficult, but it will benefit everyone if it works."
"What is it?"
"I'll explain in a moment. I just have one more thing to ask you, shinigami."
"What is it?"
"Can you help me die?"
"I took a great risk, doing this. But it worked out in the end," L said, at the warehouse presently once more.
Light was silent.
"It was a brilliant plan you had," L continued. "I should have died, that day, according to it. But nothing can ever go exactly according to plan when you're playing with so many variables."
"490 days would have been... the fifth, right? The morning of the day of your death."
"That's right," L said.
"So you replicated the death notes and switched them," Light reasoned. "And Rem's notebook was never real to begin with."
"Correct."
"But how did you make a fake of Misa's so quickly?" L would have had to have taken the original from her after she found it, copied it, then replaced it again without her noticing.
"It took a little while longer to replace hers. I had Wedy's help with that—yes, she's still alive, too. But Misa will be willing to give up ownership on her own once you have lost your memories."
Light could use this... He wouldn't be able to keep his memories with just a piece of the death note hidden in his watch, but if Misa gave up her ownership, and Light got a hold of her death note, or managed to find his again, he would be able to retain his memories. The death notes would have to be somewhere nearby, though, if that had any chance of working. Would Watari be around? If he was, the death notes could be nearby, in case L's plan didn't work out somehow and they had to destroy the notebooks. It was possible that L had prepared for something like that.
"That still doesn't explain how Misa knows about all of this. And why Rem is gone," Light said aloud.
"Rem's death was something out of my control," L said.
Misa, who had been staring at the floor, lifted her head at L's words.
"I was there when Rem died, Light," Misa spoke up. "It was about a month ago, now, I think. She... saved me from an accident. But a while before that happened, Rem was the first one to tell me what was really going on. I didn't know anything at first, Light, I promise!"
"It's alright, Misa," Light said. "Explain how you found out."
"Well..." she began, "One night, when I got home late from a film shoot, I saw someone who looked like Ryuzaki leave our apartment building. No one else could look as weird as him, so I became suspicious about it. He didn't seem to see me... but I think it was on purpose, now, that I saw him." She glanced at L, but he didn't appear to react to her statements.
"Anyways, I went inside, and I was going to wake you up to tell you, when someone stopped me from behind. It was Rem. She explained that she had been here the whole time, and that she was here to protect us. She told me that L had promised not to harm you or me, and that when the time was right I would have to give up my memories, and I'd be able to live a normal life with you—but it would all be ruined if I didn't keep quiet or if I tried to harm L in some way."
It must have happened around the time he had been planning to see if Misa could prove L was real or not, thought Light. He doubted it had been a part of L's original plan.
"Did Rem tell you about the death notes, too?"
"No," Misa shook her head. "I thought they were real. I didn't lie to you about that!"
"What Misa said is correct," L affirmed. "Her discovery of me was planned, after it became apparent you would use her to test my existence. Rem did not care to do it, but we had little choice by then. And if at any time you realized I wasn't dead, I was prepared to administer an anesthetic, and you would have been held somewhere until you lost your memories. But only as a last resort, as promised with Rem."
An anesthetic...
"You did use it, once. The night I was sick."
L scratched his head. "Yes, unfortunately. You were becoming too suspicious that night. I hadn't expected it with your fever."
Light fumed. "You drugged me."
"It was to protect you as much as me. I knew you were Kira, Light. I could have done much worse to you than that."
"Using that as an excuse to do whatever you want... how typical of you, L. Monitoring us like that, faking the deaths... Seems like a lot of trouble to go through. Even for you."
"It was difficult, that's true," L didn't deny it.
"So why do it this way? Why bother pretending you were a ghost? What was the point of it, other than making me feel like I was going insane?"
"I wanted information," L said neutrally. "It was the only way we could be honest with each other."
"You mean the only way I could be honest with you—you were never honest with me."
"But we didn't have the barriers like we had before," L said, something different in his voice. "Like now."
"You are forgetting something." Ryuk interrupted suddenly. They all turned to look at him.
Ryuk's eyes were on L. "I know you want to keep Light alive, but I made a promise to him long ago that it would be me who writes his name down in the end. And it looks like his time is finally up. It won't be any fun anymore once Light loses his memories."
No, not yet, Light thought. How could he tell Ryuk that he could still get out of this, without revealing it to L?
"If that's what you want," L said, "I can't stop you."
"Wait!" Misa said, looking frantically at Ryuk. "You don't really mean that, do you Ryuk?"
"Sorry, Misa, but I do."
Her eyes widened slowly in horror, before all hope seemed to flicker out of them. She lowered her head, and slumped her shoulders, her hands the only thing holding herself up on the floor.
"Then kill me too, Ryuk," she said. Her eyes squeezed shut. "I can't live without Light!"
"Sorry Misa, but the only name I'm writing in my notebook is Light's."
So this was how it was going to end?
"I have a proposition, Ryuk."
Ryuk turned his head. It was L that had spoken.
"Heh. Okay. Let's hear it, then."
"You could kill Light now, and that would be fine. He deserves it, certainly, though I don't think that's why you're doing it. But what then?"
"Huh? Well, I guess return to the shinigami realm, until the next time I grow bored enough to come here again."
L nodded as if understanding. "Alright. I think there is another option for you, too, though. Don't you see it?
"What do you mean?"
"What if you had something to look forward to while you were in the shinigami realm? Let's say you let Light live. You might return in forty years or so, when Light is older, and with the death note return his memories. What do you think his thoughts would be? Would a human change his mind about such a thing after so many years, and regret his actions? Or would he only regret his time spent living as an average human, and feel like his life was wasted? It wouldn't be letting him live—it would just be postponing it for a while. Wouldn't it be interesting to know the answer to that, instead of just killing him as he is right now?"
Light held his breath as he waited to hear Ryuk's response.
"Haha, that's a pretty twisted thing for a human to say," Ryuk replied, after a heavy silence. "But you're right, I might get a kick out of doing that. What do you think, Light?" he said, turning to him.
"You know what I think." Light kept his voice calm as possible.
Ryuk's eyes remained on Light for a while, then turned back to L.
"Actually, L," Ryuk said slowly, "I think you've convinced me. I'll let Light live for now." He sent a glance to Light, whose eyes seemed to renew in strength and look determined once more. "But remember, I am the only one who can see his lifespan. I might be returning sooner than you think."
It was a small victory for Light... and the surprising part was that it had been L to save him this time around.
But Ryuk would soon realize that he wouldn't have had to kill him tonight, anyway. Soon L would die, and if Light was lucky, he would have a new chance to be Kira tonight with the real death notes that were out there somewhere. No more lies. No more L. Only Kira left to change the world.