This is the original chapter which was used for the preview. It is an expanded version. Natsu is confused over here, hence readers should be confused. This special will clarify some of the doubts you have about Natsu when he first becomes the dark mage.

Special Chapter 2: The Loneliness of the Boy of Darkness

What will you do if you wake up one day, look into a mirror & realise you had become someone else?

"Where is Tsuna? Where is Erza? And where is Lucy?"

I was shocked to see myself in the mirror when I woke up after a long slumber. I thought I would never regain my consciousness again. My feature and my outfit had totally changed to someone I did not recognise. I had black hair and I was wearing robes with gold trimmings and an open collar, along with a large, flowing white toga draped around my body and across my chest.

"This is not me! Not me!"

Someone came into the room. She was the most hateful person I knew of. Her name was Ultear and she betrayed my Teacher, Jellal who trusted her the most. She addressed me in another name I did not know of.

"Lord Zeref, how are you feeling today?"

I looked at her in defiance. I hated her since the first time I met her in the Magic Council. I knew something was fishy about her but no one would believe me even if I told them my opinion. I had no value to the Council after all. Jellal or Wendy would not believe me as well and I had no proof.

"My name is not Zeref. Stop calling me by that name!"

The next moment, she slapped me. I was told to remember that I would be living as Zeref, the Dark Mage from now on. The other me had died. Is that really true? I really don't know. I don't even know if that was my name? My head hurts.

I sneaked out when the airship landed on ground one day. I thought I could return to the guild I used to belong to to ask Grandpa (Makarov) for help to turn me back to who I was. It was surprisingly easy to escape compared to the Headquarter of the Kingdom Empire. I was expecting at least that woman or that crazy guy who slapped me when I was still in my slumber to deter me from leaving.

Taking a break by the river after running a certain distance, I was surrounded by a pack of wolves. I knew I had no more magic power to fight my way out. Subconsciously, I used my hands to defend myself and begged them to leave me alone, I wanted to live. Never did I expect to see the group of wolves which attacked me to fall all of a sudden. I looked around and to my horror, they were dead. I had killed them.

I realised I had been cursed. I had lost all of my original magic power but I gained new power which would cause harm to everybody around me, by taking their lives. It is the Death Magic. I looked down on my palms in despair. That was the reason why they did not stop me from leaving. I would not be able to return to my guild without hurting anyone. Besides, no one would recognise me in this appearance.

My view of the world had changed. What exactly did I do to deserve this?

It is hopeless and I wish to die. However, the curse upon me will not allow me to die. People will end up dying because I'm alive.

I hate my destiny. It never fails to make a fool of me. I let out a bitter laugh and made a silent decision.

I shall get back on those who landed me in this state!

I made my way back to Magnolia, avoiding people as much as I could because I did not want to kill them by accident. I would not be able to stop myself.

Even so, I could not help but to return to my former guild where I grew up in. Over there, I stood behind the door of the entrance where I saw familiar faces, laughing and having fun. That was just like them. My mind was screaming, I wanted to return to the guild to where I belong, to where people would accept me. I knew quite well that it would not happen for I had been cursed from getting near to people.

There was Tsuna who was full of energy shouting and challenging people for fights with Happy cheering him on, Gray was laughing at Cana over something I did not know about, and Lucy. My heart ache when I saw her. She seemed to be stuck between Alzack and Bisca who were blushing and playing with their fingers. I wonder if they felt the same towards one another like my feeling towards Lucy. I can no longer be with Lucy considering what I had become.

I looked away from Lucy and caught a familiar blue haired girl on sight. It was Wendy. She seemed to be enjoying the sight of the lively guild which was direct opposite from the Magic Council she was used to. It seemed that Wendy and Charles had joined the guild. A surge of jealousy welled up within me when I saw her Fairy Tail emblem on her arm. Mine was removed before I left for the Magic Council. It really hurt to leave the guild I loved.

I left the guild before I was noticed by any of them. I passed by a cake shop where I noticed Erza who was engrossed with her cakes as usual. I was really glad that they were doing well. Life goes on even without me.

I headed to Kardia Cathedral. If they thought that I was… I should be able to find the proof of my existence. To my disappointment, all I find was a grave with no words other than a Sakura tree engraved on it. I recalled the wanted poster around the town. I must have caused Tsuna great inconvenience considering how identical we look as twins. I was wanted by the Magic Council for the crime I committed by breaking that hateful man out of jail in order to locate my teacher, Jellal. The Magic Council would not acknowledge my death if they did not see my body and of course Fairy Tail would not be able to erect a grave for me. I saw a bunch of Sakura flowers in front of the grave. Lucy must be here earlier. It is spring now after all. I looked down sadly at the Sakura petals which were blown along with the wind.

Feeling really depressed, I passed by the Southern Park of Magnolia where it was rowdy. It was then I realized a blonde lightning mage who was stepping on another one with black and spiky long hair with piercing along his eyebrow. I recognized them. It was Gajeel and Laxus who was rarely seen in the guild. Laxus was having a heated confrontation with Gajeel. He was lashing out at Gajeel.

"Why are you so careless in accomplishing your mission? I can't believe thrash like you are allowed to stay in the guild and this is not the first time you almost got your comrade killed!" Lightning shot out of Laxus who was in rage shocking Gajeel who did not seem to be retaliating, taking in whatever frustration he had on him. I wanted to stop them but it was too dangerous. I could have them killed instead.

I stalked Laxus to the nearby town. I knew he was trying to stand up for me when I saw him clenching his fist when he spotted Happy, fishing in the river feeling pissed off because Tsuna ate his fish he kept in the guild. It was not Gajeel nor Happy's fault that I almost died by the hands of Kingdom Empire. It was an accident. That was when I realized how much Laxus actually cared for his comrades even though on the surface he denied it. I had decided to use him for my own purpose.

Laxus actually initiated the Battle of Fairy Tail and put the Thunder Palace in place heeding my advices. I knew that through this event, Laxus would realise his true feelings towards the guild and that he was going see how everyone in Fairy Tail actually feel towards him. They exceeded my expectation by risking their lives to destroy the Thunder Palace and enduring the pain from the Organic Linked Magic. I was sure Laxus would be able to find a sense belonging in the guild. Everyone sees him as their comrade. He would return to them one day.

What I did not expect was that my teacher, Jellal would be able to track me down. I happened to see Gray lying unconscious after his defeat against Bickslow. I could not help but laugh at him. Gray was a potential S Class mage. He must be at his limit if he could not hold his own against Laxus' bodyguard. After I left the alley, I noticed someone was stalking me. I managed to throw him off when I passed by Kardia Cathedral where Tsuna and Erza appeared in the middle of the battle between Laxus and the mysterious masked mage Mystogan. I knew he was Jellal all along. I was dense but not stupid. I saw my teacher talking to him back in the Magic Council by accident when I dozed off while cleaning up his office. Back then Mystogan was his double. My magic power was too weak for him to even sense me back then. But now, he could sense me by the magic of death I possessed. No matter what, I did not want to hurt him.

I allowed him to hit me with whatever he had. Maybe he can...

Jellal managed to have me bounded. Pain shot up my body as he was trying to use some magic on me. It was so excruciating that I thought I would finally be liberated from all my suffering. It was then his expression changed, when he saw me in my real appearance.

"Natsu?" He ran to my side and held me on his arms. It was warm. It had been a while since I had any bodily contact other than a few tight slaps back at the flying ship. I wished he could end my life. "Please kill me... I don't want to live on like this". As I said that my head hurt and I lost control of my body…

I did not know how I ended up at Cait Shelter. I woke up with a bunch of villagers watching over me. I was afraid I would hurt them which was why I recoiled when I saw them trying to touch me. I stumbled and I saw myself in a mirror. I had reverted to my original appearance.

The people of Cait Shelter had taken me in where I had recuperated from my injuries. My body was hurting which I think was due to the damages dealt by Jellal earlier. This was when I was finally able to go near people without hurting them. I wish times like this would last. However, it was not long when I noticed some changes in my appearance one day. I was turning back to that black haired boy. The appearance Zeref was known as. I begged the Head of the Cait Shelter to kill me and obviously they would not so I left the village before I did something I would regret.

My instinct told me I should head to Nirvana. I thought if I headed there, I could be liberated. Over there I saw Lucy once again. I saw somebody trying to hurt her and I could not help it. As I could not control my power, Lucy and Hibiki was dragged into my attack on the girl named Angel. I approached Lucy after realising what I had done. I truly regretted it. I wanted to caress her face but I couldn't. I would end up killing her by accident. I'm glad that she was alright. "The furthest distance in the world is when undoubtedly knowing the love from both yet cannot be together".

When my twin, Tsuna appeared before me, I thought he would be able to sense me due to our bonds as twins but I was utterly disappointed. I became worked up and I almost got him killed with my power along with Gray who happened to pass by.

I decided to continue from what I was doing, to defeat all the members of Oracions Seis, to arouse their hatred and to kill me. I approached the man I hated. It was because of him I landed on this state in the first place. I attacked him hoping that he would retaliate and kill me off to defend himself. It seemed that not even he could kill me.

Forget it. Nirvana no longer served any purpose. With that, I relayed the method to destroy Nirvana through Brain's telepathy. It was weird. The method was all in my head. I leaved the rest to the Alliance.

I returned to somewhere near Cait Shelter to reflect alone. I heard cries coming from the village and rushed there to see what was going on. To my horror, there was not even a single soul left in the village. All I could see was only the members of the Alliance.

The villagers were already gone. Did I cause the demise of the village because I lost control of my power unknowingly? I really hated myself.

Lucy tried to approach me when I held my hand up to stop her. I could not stop myself from taking lives of others and to hurt Lucy. I decided to bid them farewell since they were there. From now on, we had nothing to do with one another and I wish them happiness.

We would become enemies the next time we meet. The world would end because of my existence.