We weren't that far from the village when Alistair shuffled me to the back of the group while we walked, far enough away that he felt comfortable to talk to me. If he was thinking the others were out of earshot, he was wrong.
"You need to get training," he hissed, right from the start. Okay, if we're going to get our feelings out...
"Yeah," I cut him off, "and I will. Morrigan is going to start my training tonight. Soon I'll be slaying darkspawn and lighting fires with flint like the rest of you."
He scowled at me. "All right, you won't mind me supervising, will you? That's how they do it when mages train. Properly. At a Circle."
That's how it was going to be, huh?
I scowled right back, my lip curling. "Oh, really? And I guess you'd know all about that, would you? Mister big, bad templar, saving the poor mages from themselves."
"Only when they try to kill me, more than once, by complete accident," Alistair shot back.
"One time! I set myself on fire this time, not you!" This would be the second time I set myself on fire, actually. Was that going to be a thing? I'd rather it not.
"It could have spread!"
"Please, there is no need to fight." Leliana stopped us, stepping up as a mediator. She smiled sweetly, disarming us with peacefully raised palms. "I have heard there are many dangers of training mages. Templars are only there to make sure that people are kept safe. Alistair would not disrupt your training, I'm sure."
She turned her pretty doe eyes on the tall warden.
He swallowed visibly and looked away. "No, of course not..."
I snorted and crossed my arms. "Whatever." I growled, stalking forward to walk behind Mahariel. He didn't talk and wasn't trying to say I was an unstable mage. Even if I was.
oooooooooo
We finally stopped for the night. I was pulled away before Mahariel could grab me for animal gutting duty. I was getting kind of good at it.
"Come with me," Morrigan commanded, with a high lift of her brow. "We shall begin while the fool cooks."
Alistair, still in a bad mood, shot her a nasty look. I ignored him and followed her. Puppy whined unhappily as I left, but knew better than to follow.
Morrigan's tent was not the strange lean-to I remembered from the game. I had noticed that the first night. But she always kept it wide open, facing the rest of us, and a fair bit away. She didn't always have a fire going in front of it either. Tonight she did.
"Sit down," she told me, settling down herself. "I've seen you meditating every night since Ostagar. You found someone to tell you the basics, but that is how you teach a child. You are no child. Tell me, how does it work for you?"
"Well, I just search for my magic. It's been getting easier to find it, I guess," I shrugged.
Morrigan's brows furrowed. "'You guess', do you?" She huffed in disapproval. "When you find your magic, what do you do?"
"Uh... I don't really know, I just do it over again. I was never told what to do after that."
"I daresay you are ready to move on. You do not have the time to loiter." She waved a dismissive hand. "Now, meditate. Find your magic, and do not let go of it. Hold it. Tell me when you have done so."
I nodded and closed my eyes. The trance was easier to get into. I had grown so used to trying to call it up. The familiarity of doing this nightly made my task faster.
When I found it, I grabbed hold. It was a bit like attempting to balance a slick object in your hands, tilting to and fro. I furrowed my brows in concentration and kept my eyes closed.
"I have it. Now what?" My voice was strained. It was the longest I had consciously held on to the well of power inside me. It was as if my body had been numb this entire time, and I was only just realizing it now that I was warming up.
"Good. Open your eyes," Morrigan coaxed.
I did so cautiously. My control wavered as distraction came with my field of vision, but I managed to keep balanced.
Morrigan remained silent as she judged me.
"Your control is thin. It will get better. Now, pool your mana into your hand. Just one hand. Hold your palm out." She showed me, holding her own palm out skyward as an example.
Her hand started to glow faintly, converging in the center. It built, then floated upward in a luminous sphere.
"I do not expect you to do this, but, when properly done, your magic will manifest itself in your palm or where ever you wish it. Go slowly," she cautioned.
Right, slowly.
From the moment she had told me to pool my magic, it had begun sliding toward my hand in increasingly larger trickles. I jerked my palm up nervously as the trickles turned into a river. I tried to stymie it, but it only felt like I was damming it with pebbles.
The dam only lasted so long before it burst.
I let out a scream as a bolt of lightning shot from my palm into the sky, the power of it pushing me flat on my back.
Morrigan yelped as well, and I heard heavy footsteps rushing toward us.
"Do I need to-"
"Get back, you oaf! We are making progress!" Morrigan snapped at Alistair.
I groaned on the ground, my hand twitching. I could feel the flickers of electricity still jolting around. Why couldn't I be learning something nicer, something tame and useful like healing?
"Don't- Don't touch me yet," I coughed, trying to push myself up. Morrigan ignored me and grabbed my shoulder, dragging me upright.
"What happened?" She demanded.
"Too much, too fast. It wouldn't- I couldn't make it stop." I shook my head, looking down at my hand. Little sparks flashed, but it was fading now that I wasn't holding it anymore.
Morrigan sat down, eyeing me in speculation.
"Your control is worse than I thought... Can you feel your magic outside of meditation?" She questioned.
"No."
"You should be able to. You are denying your magic. It is part of you; it cannot be denied. It is as the blood beneath your skin. Stop blocking it."
That sounded like some weird magical clot.
"But I'm not doing it consciously!" I protested. "How am I supposed to do that?"
"When you meditate, never let your magic go once you find it. It is more unnatural for you to continue to release it than it is for you to hold it close."
Maybe that was the problem. Right now, it was unnatural to me. It was something my body never had before, and suddenly I had a new circulatory system of magic. It was an invader. And if my body couldn't fight this invader, it was going to block it out.
I sighed in frustration at myself. "Okay. Are we done?"
Morrigan's golden eyes flashed. "For now. Go meditate."
I left to sit back by the main campfire. Leliana was preparing the food and it smelled good for a change.
I rolled out my tarp and opened my bedroll over it. The night seemed warm enough for sleeping under the stars.
Though I tried to keep my eyes open and meditate, they slowly fluttered shut and I was out.
oooooooooo
Acid green flashed across a film of darkness. It lit up the surroundings in a sickly wash. Tattered wings, mottled purple and spiked, bracketed a spiny body. Claws, overgrown and cracked, dug into an aging bridge. A roar sounded over a tireless hoard of darkspawn. They looked as a tide of ants did when you stirred their mound.
Another roar sounded, muted. The noise was thick and slow, moving through layers to reach my ears.
I trembled like the prey I was as the Archdemon glared at me from his perch. His face drew closer and closer. I could feel the sharpness of his teeth as they pressed around me, and a rumbling voice spoke to me in words I didn't understand.
I woke, gasping.
I lay clutching my bedroll beneath me, wet with exertion. Even my hair felt damp with sweat. Gross.
"Bad dreams, huh?"
My head nearly snapped as it whipped toward Alistair direction. Behind him, Mahariel was stirring as well.
"Y-Yeah. You too?" I asked the elf, sitting.
Mahariel glanced at me in silence, eyes knowing.
"It was the Archdemon, wasn't it."
He nodded. Mahariel looked to Alistair. "Was it... Real?" He asked.
"It is, sort of," the "senior" warden confirmed. "Part of being a Grey Warden is hearing the darkspawn. That's what your dream was. Hearing them. The Archdemon... It 'talks' to the horde, and we feel it just as they do. That's how we know this is really a Blight."
"Why did Duncan not tell everyone so?" Mahariel questioned, cocking his head.
"He did," Alistair said, exasperated. "He said he felt the Archdemon's presence. Everyone just assumed he was guessing."
That's true. Since the beginning Duncan had said that. But everyone wrote it off. He was a Warden, after all; that's what he was supposed to say. "Be wary of the Archdemon" and all. No one thought he was actually serious. No one except the other Wardens. All three of us.
Alistair shook his head. "It takes a bit, but eventually you can block the dreams out. Some of the older Wardens say they can understand the Archdemon a bit, but I sure can't." He shrugged as if he could care less.
"Anyhow, I heard you two thrashing about, and I thought I should tell you. It was scary at first for me, too."
"Thanks," I murmured.
Alistair took the olive branch, small as it was. "Not a problem," he answered, just as quiet. We let the early morning fill the silence before Alistair cleared his throat.
"Anyhow, you're up now, right? Let's pull up camp and get a move on."
He stood up and started hustling things about, but I certainly wasn't ready. I could barely see the light of the sun coming up.
"Hey, whoa, can we have breakfast first or something? We bought soap, right? Can I go down to the stream and rinse off? I feel gross, and I haven't bathed in forever." I seriously reeked and felt like my skin was covered in a film of grime.
Alistair made a face, but he pointed to Leliana, who was crawling from her tent and yawning.
"She's got the soap. Ask her, and make it quick."
"Sir, yes sir," I grumbled and pushed myself up. "Hey, Leliana, can I have some soap?"
"Oh, are you going to the stream? So early... Would you mind if I joined you?" She asked brightly as she dug around her pack. It figured Leliana would be the one person who was actually lucid enough for real conversation in the morning.
"Yeah, sure. Does it work on hair?" I asked, pulling a change of clothes from my pack.
"I have something for that; there is no need to use this rough thing for your pretty hair." Leliana assured me, pulling out a vial.
"Okay...?" Pretty hair? It was just- Oh. Blond, bleached blond. Such a pale shade for hair was rare in natural coloration. I didn't correct her. How could I explain it?
I followed her down to the nearby stream, where the water was sure to be frigid. What a way to greet the day.
As we undressed, I turned my back to Leliana to give her privacy out of habit. I folded my old clothes away and carefully toed my way into the water. Not quite frigid, but still cold enough to set me shivering.
I turned to Leliana and stopped short.
I felt so outclassed by the beauty that is naked Leliana. Her chantry robes do her no justice. Before she could catch me, I pulled my roving eyes away and cleared my throat. "The soap?"
She smiled and passed it over before she knelt in the water. "Shall we wash our hair tonight? That is, if we find another stream where we camp. Wet hair while walking is no good."
Right. I touched my hair unhappily, feeling the oily strands. "Yeah... Maybe I should cut it short like yours." It would be much more manageable, at the least.
"Oh no!" Leliana protested, looking up sharply. "It is too beautiful. Your long hair suits you well. If you find it troublesome, I can help you braid it. It would be my honor."
I blinked rapidly, startled by her vehemence against cutting my hair. "Oh... All right. If you want." What was she going to do when my roots started growing in?
We finished washing quickly, and Leliana braided my hair as we dried. It was heavy between my shoulder blades, but it was no longer in my eyes.
When we got back to camp everything was packed up. Even my bedroll was taken care of.
Sten waited impatiently, already fully up and at it. Puppy lolled about at his feet, like he had found a new best friend. I think Sten was just too stoic to shoo him away.
Everyone was on the move after little more than a few more minutes.
I shuffled closer to Mahariel. "So... How long will it take to reach Redcliffe? That's where we're going, right?"
He nodded, shifting his weight. "Alistair said it would only be a few days. It is on the shore of Lake Calenhad. If we continue to follow the road, it will lead us along the shore and to the Arl's Redcliffe village."
I hummed. "Well, if the Arl's as sick as they say, I wonder who is in charge. The Arlessa, I think Alistair said. I hope she's reasonable. And that the village is in good condition. Might need supplies and stuff. Can always use more supplies."
Mahariel cast an uncertain glance my way. "... Indeed."
The village was going to be in a terrible position, it was unlikely they could spare many supplies, if any, and the Arlessa is entirely unreasonable about almost everything.
I pursed my lips in resignation and wished for an iPod.
oooooooooo
The next night found us in the presence of Bodahn and Sandal again. The elder dwarf talked over a deal with Mahariel cheerily. I don't think our good leader could turn down such optimism and confidence in our small party. Plus, he offered discounted goods. Huzzah.
That didn't mean we had great access to food, Bodahn wasn't a baker, but he did have some spices. I managed to make a little deal of my own. If we shared our meals, he'd let us use some of his cheaper spices. Even a few spices did wonders to brighten the flavor of our meals.
The next few days were uneventful, but much more tolerable with our newest companion. The dwarf's placid bull was a big sweetheart too.
The night before we reached Redcliffe, I sidled over to Bodahn with the evening meal.
"Hey, you might want to stay here for the next few days. Or just... Away from Redcliffe," I warned quietly.
Bodahn peered at me with a quirked brow. "Oh? I had been planning on doing some trading with a fellow I know. Is there a problem?" His voice lowered to my volume.
"Well... I don't know, but the Arl is kind of sick. We don't really know what to expect. Better safe than sorry, right?" I said with a half-hearted smile.
Bodahn gave me a look and I deflated.
"Look, the Arl is sick. Deathly ill sick. No one knows why, and any attempts to find out haven't turned out well. Nearly all his knights are out on some treasure hunt for something impossible to find. Things are desperate there. Who knows what's going on. I just... I'd feel better if you and your son stayed safe, all right? If things are good, I promise we'll come back and get you. If they aren't..." I shrugged and poked around at my own plate.
Bodahn sighed, taking a bite. "I understand. 'Better safe than sorry', you said? That sounds like a good idea. It's hard to find safety these days. Very well, Sandal and I will wait here for a few days until you and your friends return."
I smiled widely at his acceptance. "Good. You won't regret it, promise."
Some ears were sharper than others, though.
Mahariel intercepted me on my way back to the main fire. He nodded in a general direction away and I sighed, shoveling the last of my meal into my mouth.
"You," Mahariel began, crossing his arms, "warned them to stay away from Redcliffe. Why?"
Okay, how to explain without sounding... Weird and prophetical.
"Um, well... The Arl is really sick, right? And Loghain is crazy, but he's not stupid. Who's to say he's not going to take advantage of this. The Arlessa is probably great and all, but the knights are out searching for this cure, leaving the place pretty weak. We have no idea what we're walking into."
That sounded decent, I guess. I sighed as Mahariel gave me a calculating look. "Like I told Bodahn, better safe than sorry. He and his kid aren't fighters. All they would do is get in the way if there really is shit going down. Besides, I already convinced them to stay, so no big deal."
The elf cocked his head, still quiet. Then he shrugged, dropping his arms.
"That is sound," he agreed, walking back. "You are smarter than you seem."
That's it?
"Okay? Wait, what the fuck does that mean? Hey!"