Chapter Eleven

Bella

It didn't take me long to realize the only way to keep Renee and Becca safe would be to take my own life. Once I was dead my tormentor would be satisfied and my daughter would be safe. Having decided I wrote Becca a long letter explaining my actions and telling her how much I loved her and how I would watch over her as she grew into a beautiful young woman and found love herself. That her father and I would do our best to keep her safe and happy. I just hoped that whoever found my body would make sure my daughter received the letter which I was sure Renee would keep until Becca was old enough to understand the contents.

I had picked the place to end my life, a cliff above the ocean. If I was not killed by the fall then I would drown just as my sweet John had done. Maybe he would be there waiting for me under the water, arms outstretched to take me and hold me close once more. I parked the van up in a car park at the base of the cliff with the keys in the ignition, maybe someone else would find it useful as I had no further use for it myself. Then I began the climb as the sun rose higher in the sky, the birds singing and the sound of rustling as tiny creatures accompanied me. By the time I reached the top the sun was already beginning its downward arc and I decided to sit and watch until it touched the ocean, then I would join it.

As the sun's orange orb touched the water on the horizon I stood up opened my arms and stepped off feeling the air whistling around me as I plummeted downwards. I closed my eyes and conjured up visions of John and Rebekkah to help me on my way. I expected to feel the water like a solid barrier as it smashed my body, breaking bones and tearing flesh but I felt something else, strong arms grabbing me from the air as if to take me up into the very clouds.

"John!"

I knew it was my husband, that I had died during the fall and my dead husband had collected me and was taking me with him into another more gentle world.

Then I felt the hard ground at my back and heard a voice, a voice I vaguely remembered although I couldn't remember where I had heard it before.

"Oh no you bitch, you don't die until I say you can. If I am to live on in such torment I will not be alone."

I opened my eyes sitting up in terror,

"Victoria!"

The redhead smiled down on me but there was no warmth in it, only pure evil, reflected double in her cold eyes.

"You didn't think of me did you, Bella? Enjoying your life with your tall handsome husband and sweet innocent child. Did you really think I would sit by and see you happy in your life while I suffered the pain of losing my mate? The man you were responsible for murdering. I have to admit I looked for you first with the Cullens. After all Edward Cullen was like a little puppy following you around. So, what went wrong? I would have killed him but that wouldn't have hurt you, you wouldn't even have known or, if you did, cared. So, I waited and watched, watched as you fell in love and married, then gave birth to that little angel of yours Rebekkah.

You never thought for a second that you were responsible for all those deaths around you now did you, Bella? Poor Mike who thought he stood a chance, your puppy friend Jake and his crippled father, even your own father. Did it never occur to you that all the men around you were having accidents or violence? I was very restrained, using deputies to kill some and killing others myself but never drinking their blood. I wanted my identity to be a surprise. I admit I took great delight in drowning your husband, oh how he fought but I just held on as his struggles slowly died away.

Well, that's in the past and we are here in the present, one that will get more and more unpleasant for you Bella. You see I have an eternity to mourn the loss of James so I'm not allowing you to end your own suffering so easily. There is a new rule to remember, if you attempt suicide again I will rip your mother's body into tiny pieces watched by that little angel Rebekkah and then take her away and torture her for years before finally killing her. Succeed in suicide and the same will happen so you'd better ensure you stay alive hadn't you?"

She dropped the keys to the van in my lap and I knew she had followed me all this time knowing one day I would attempt to end my life.

"I didn't kill James and he came looking to kill me. He was the one responsible for his own death."

The blow was tempered or it would have knocked my head off otherwise. It did set my ears ringing while coloured lights flashed in front of my eyes.

"How dare you blame my mate for what happened. If you hadn't flashed those pretty little eyes at him he would still be alive. I should gouge them out and leave you blind for the rest of your life but maybe later. For now, you will do exactly as I say, keep moving, make no friends unless you want their deaths on your conscience. Think about your little girl, growing up without her parents and thinking her mommy didn't love her and that is why she was left with her grandmother. That must scar her, let's hope it's the only scar she has to bear but that is entirely up to you and how much you love the little brat. There will not be another reminder, next time your mother and daughter will pay the price so be careful."

She left me then, sitting cold and depressed wanting nothing more than to end my miserable existence the only way to end the terrible pain of knowing my little girl was alive but I could never see or hold her again. However, even that had been denied me and I slowly made my way back to the van my head still ringing and slipping as I felt faint from time to time. Back at the van, I changed my clothes, unable to bear the thought of keeping on clothes that Victoria had touched and then took a couple of painkillers for my headache then rolled myself in my sleeping bag and tried to sleep but it wouldn't come.

This time, my mind had another torment for me, not Becca and John but Edward, the Cullens and the confrontation with James, Laurent, and Victoria at the baseball game. Finding I was in danger and the hurried drive to Phoenix, to safety with Alice and Jasper. If only they were here now, perhaps they could free me from Victoria's spite. But then if I hadn't met Edward I would never have come into James' company and been forced to run for my life. I wondered where the Cullens were now and if they had any idea what they had set in motion when they destroyed James?

For the first time in years, I wished I had never met the vampires or at least not fallen for Edward Cullen but it was too late now. Edward and his family were blithely unaware of my plight and I doubted even if they discovered it that they would come riding in to save me. After all, they had left without a word of goodbye merely because I had broken off my relationship with Edward and if they thought so little of me they would hardly bother finding I was in peril.

,My outlook was bleak, I was tired of running, tired of having nowhere I could call my own and suffering bitterly at the absence from Becca. How could I go on without her? What would happen in the fullness of time when I could no longer run from town to town finding low paid jobs for a few weeks and then uprooting to somewhere new. I couldn't even make a friend for fear Victoria would kill them out of spite. That reminded me of Harold's face when he heard of his son's death, the pain that had been a direct result of my actions.