Author's Note: We are nearing the end of this fan-fic. I envision three more chapters after this one. I have thought about extending it further, but I will become very busy over the next few weeks and I do not want to leave it open-ended, or be unable to update it for months at a time. I think you will enjoy the ending I have planned.
P.S. Huis Clos (No Exit) is the masterful play written by the French Marxist-Existentialist writer, Jean-Paul Sartre.
Tori rolls over as her eyes open to the daylight. Her sight remains fixed on the silky black hair cascading down her nighttime partner's back. She lifts her head up a tad to glance at the clock on Jade's side of the bed, and realizes it is still a very early seven o'clock. School will not start for another two hours. She huffs and plops back down on the bed. A smile fights its way onto her countenance as she cannot help but think about how amazing this morning is. She doesn't want the weekend to be over and to spend all week working, away from the girl with the nautical star tattooed on her forearm.
Jade moans and rolls over to face the latina. She barely peaks her eyes open, not taking too kindly to the light coming in through the curtains. She had a rough night, but the nightmares did not return after Tori's arms cradled her gently back to sleep. "Morning," Jade mumbles almost inaudibly, clearly not a morning person. The contrast between Tori's peppy movements and Jade's lethargy are quite comical.
Jade yawns and stretches her arms and legs. "What are you smiling about?," Jade asks in a more coherent tone, knowing fully well the likely answer; a smile of her own starting to form.
"Oh, nothing," Tori replies coyly, the wide grin refusing to disappear. "I'm just really glad you're here... really glad that I happened to wait for Trina in the park that night and met you." Her face tightens as she becomes a little more self-conscious at how sappy she sounds right now. Is it too much since they only know each other for three days, she thinks to herself. And then she says it out loud, "Sorry, I'm getting to... ugh... mushy... and stuff..."
"Yeah," Jade agrees and proceeds to pick up her pillow and gently smack it against Tori's face. "It's okay," she concludes. "I am not afraid of this anymore. I used to be, but I am honestly more terrified of losing this than..." she trails off, calculating where she is going with this very carefully. Jade bites her lower lip as she looks into those big brown eyes. "Do you believe in angels?," she asks softly.
Tori puzzles over the question for a moment before answering, "Well, I say the guardian angel prayer every morning before going to school or out anywhere, so yeah, I kinda do." She pushes herself a little closer to the caucasian girl in front of her and inquires, "Why such a weird question?"
"Oh, no reason in particular," Jade hides her true motivations with a teasing voice, "I'm just trying to learn more about you, since you're so damn interesting. I mean what other girl in the whole wide world has a Hello Kitty collection." She finishes the performance with a roll of her eyes.
"Hey!" Tori protests smacking Jade lightly on the hand, "You're a big meanie." The gothic girl just chuckles at that childish comment.
"Yes, but you seem to like me anyway, so you give me no incentive to ever change," Jade retorts, moving in closer. She presses her lips to Tori's mouth and kisses her slowly. Tori place a hand on Jade's side, deepening the kiss.
Without warning the bedroom door swings open and Tori's mom comes strolling in with a small suitcase in her hands. The two girls do not hear her footsteps. Mrs. Vega raises her gaze and freezes upon seeing her daughter kissing and holding in her arms the stray they took in. "Oh my God!," she exclaims, dropping the suitcase to the floor.
Tori and Jade jump apart and turn to face the shocked mama bear, with her gaping mouth. "What the hell are you two doing?," Mrs. Vega shouts angrily.
"Mom!" Tori cries in a frightened voice, "It's not what it looks like." She quickly places her feet on the carpet and stands shaking like a reed in the wind.
In a more confident manner, Jade swings her feet off the bed and pulls herself up into a semi-sitting position. "Yeah, we didn't do anything, Mrs. Vega," she corroborates. It might be a little more convincing to the unbiased observer had she not taken her pajama bottoms off in the middle of the night, but she was too warm from Tori's body heat. The girl in the panties wearing the other girl's cozy shirt does not make a very convincing case.
"I swear, she's telling the truth," Tori rambles in defense, her hands pulling at her hair, "Jade has been too scared to sleep alone these last few nights, so I let her sleep with me. It started out like that and it just... it just... became..." Tori drops her shoulders and shrinks in size.
Mrs. Vega gives her daughter an incredulous look, shaking her head. "You expect me to believe that," she says while pulling Tori towards her by the elbow as Jade begins to shift closer towards her. "What am I supposed to think when I find the stray we took in half-naked and kissing my daughter?," she continues focusing her attention on Tori, "How could you let her take advantage of you like this? Jade does not like being called "the stray" very much, but she refrains.
"She didn't take advantage of me," Tori retorts in a slightly more defiant tone. Jade gets to her feet, and places the pajama bottoms back over her legs, coming to the aid of the girl she spent so much time hating.
"Are you... like a lesbian?," Mrs. Vega asks the one question that has been haunting her mind all this time.
"What?," Tori ejects, rubbing her legs together, "No, I'm not... I mean I... I don't know." She tries to free herself from her Mom's hand-lock, but it is to no avail.
"Mrs. Vega," Jade raises her voice, trying to convince the pissed off mother who glares at her with hatred, "I never intended for this to happen. I didn't intend to corrupt your daughter or whatever it is you think I did." She clasps her fingers together, digger her nails into the back of her hand. This is new territory for Jadelyn. She has never gotten caught with Beck, quite honestly, because she never spent the night at his place, or did anything wildly inappropriate. She comes off licentious, but she is definitely in the modest category. People have to earn intimacy with her. "I would never do anything that would hurt Tori or push her to do something she's not comfortable with," she finishes her justifications.
Tori's eyes are silently pleading her Mom to call down. She is afraid her behavior might chase Jade away, forever. Being close to Jade West is like taking a chronic drug. The mere possibility of losing it is enough to send your body into spasms. Mrs. Vega looks between the two of them and softens her facial expression a tad. She points to Jade and announces sternly, "Get dressed, I'm taking you to the shelter in fifteen minutes." She brings her attention to her daughter and commands, "You get ready for school, I'll drive you when I get back, and we can discuss this further when your Dad gets home."
Jade nods compliantly but Tori squeaks in protest, "No!," finally squirming her way out of her Mom's grasp. She takes two steps back to place some distance between them and move a little closer to her girl in an oblique manner.
Mr.s Vega's eyes flair and she asked in a domineering tone, "What was that, Missy?"
Tori's lips move to say something, but nothing comes out. She closes her mouth and drops her gaze. "Nothing," she mumbles. She is defeated. She committed a cardinal sin in the eyes of a parent. Tori silently prays to God that it is only the shock of the situation and not a deeper prejudice of seeing her daughter with another girl that is at work here, because she couldn't take her parents hating her like that. Not in a million years.
"Come on," Mrs. Vega says to her daughter, grabbing her by the hand and leading her towards the door.
Jade's bright blue eyes catch Tori's deep brown irises, as the latina glances back. Even though she is terrified of what might happen, Jade decides it is time for her to start defending and taking care of Tori. She has remained curled up in the fetal position for far too long. It's time for the strong and confident Jade to make her return. So she puts on a reassuring, sheepish smile and winks at the youngest Vega.
Once Tori is out of sight, Jade lets out a huff as she sits on the bed. "Well, it looks like I might have screwed this up again, Raphael," she mutters, looking at her pale face in the dresser's mirror. "Everything I touch crumbles doesn't it?," she continues pessimistically.
Tori drags her feet through the halls of Hollywood Arts. The last time she can remember coming to visit Trina was when she had to perform for the big showcase. Of course it was a disaster. Her singing was totally off-key and she embarrassed herself greatly. Tori occasionally glances up at the people around her, self-consciously fidgeting by twirling the ends of her hair. These people look so stylish and talented, she thinks, as she passes by a duo playing the guitar.
Tori spots a darling little red-headed girl putting her books into a locker. Tori decides that she looks like the sweetest and most helpful person around, so she walks up to but and clears her throat before introducing herself. Cat turns around quickly, hearing the sound. Tori opens with a short, "Hi," and waves her hand all friendly-like.
"Hello," Cat squeals and returns with a bigger wave. "I'm Cat," she continues in a perpetually cheerful but rapid-fire tone: "I haven't seen you around here. Are you transfer student? My brother was a transfer student one time in the middle of the semester, except that nobody introduced him, so nobody paid any attention to him, which made him sad and lonely. So I promised myself that I would never let anybody feel like that again, just because they were a mid-semester transfer student." With that she goes completely silent and simply blinks her eyes at Tori.
Tori bites her lip, not sure if this girl is crazy nice or merely straight-up crazy. She decides to give her the benefit of the doubt. "That's very nice of you," Tori replies as she forces a tentative smile, "I'm Tori." She rests her heavy backpack on the floor and asks her favor, "I need somebody to help me find my sister, and I was hoping you might be able to help."
"Cat Valentine reporting for duty," Cat says in the most serious tone she can muster. She stands her back up straight and delivers a military salute. "Who do you need help finding?," she inquires in her regular, cotton candy voice.
"Trina Vega," Tori deadpans, hoping she is not one of the people her sister has pissed off, because that is quite honestly a very long list.
Cat's eyes go wide and she squeals in delight. She runs up to Tori and gives her a hug. Cat squeezes her tightly and shakes her from side-to-side before pulling back. "You're the baby sister Trina talks about!," she exclaims.
"Yeah, I guess so," Tori comments scratching her scalp, "I never really thought she would talk about me." She and Trina were always bickering and never spent that much time together hanging out as "friends". Tori just assumed she was the bothersome baby sister that irked her and that she only tolerated.
"Come on," Cat shouts in a way too loud voice as she grabs the tan girl's hand dragging her towards the door, "I'll go take you to her." Cat is surprisingly strong for her petite size. "I was heading over to have lunch with her and our group of friends, anyway," she continues with Tori still in tow.
Tori walks under her own power as they make their way into the Asphalt Café. Cat's child-like mannerisms surprise Tori, especially when she begins to skip instead of walking like a normal human being. She's never seen a girl of sixteen behave in such a silly way. Nevertheless, Tori does find her somewhat endearing, like a yippie little puppy dog.
Trina sits at a picnic table with André, Beck and Robbie. She turns her head and notices Tori making her way over, led by an extra bouncy Cat. Her jaw hangs open as she peals away her sunglasses to make sure she is seeing rightly and not witnessing a mirage.
"Tori, what the hell are you doin' here," Trina questions, shifting in her seat. "Oh my God," she shouts as a scary idea just popped into her head, "Did grandma die?" She places a hand on her forehead. "I knew she was looking extra pale the last time she came over for a visit and that..." she continues to babble.
"Relax," Tori interjects her hands signaling her whacked out sister to stop panicking, "Grandma's not dead." Cat takes a seat next to Robbie and steals a french fry from Beck's plate. Trina lets out a gigantic sigh, placing a hand on her heart to check her pulse. Tori just rolls her eyes and groans, stomping her foot while waiting for Trina to finish.
"What's up then?," Trina asks so nonchalantly as she takes a bite of her taco. She crosses one leg over the other and after savoring the taste, gives her full attention to her sister. "Does it have something to do with Mom taking you to school when I got up this morning?," she further inquires.
"Well, Mom..." Tori responds, swinging around the table to stand closer to Trina, "Caught me and Jade this morning." The hem of her jacket brushes up against the bubbly red-head, as she squeezes in between the two.
"You slept with Jade!," Trina ejects with a high pitched-voice and her eyebrows raised. "I knew it. It was only a matter of time before it happened," she says, nodding her head to congratulate her own guesswork.
"No, I didn't sleep with her," Tori yells at Trina, slapping the bare skin on her arm with her palm. Trina voicelessly mouths the word "Ouch" at her sister's violent behavior, and rubs the spot. "I mean we were sleeping together, but not like that," Tori admits, "She just caught us kissing a little."
Trina lets out a drawn out, "Ohhh..." as she tries to shake the other, gross images of her baby sister doing that out of her mind. "Still, kudos to you. Up top," Trina returns as she raises her hand for Tori to high-five.
"You don't understand," Tori says with her pitch dropping to a sullen tone, leaving Trina hanging. She twists her fingers together, trying not to cry as she recalls the events of this morning, and the loss she feels in her heart, even though it seems silly after only six hours. Her last three days were spent wholly with Jade and she feels as if the other girl's soul is becoming a part of hers. "Mom was really angry," Tori states, "She immediately drove Jade to the shelter, and said that she doesn't want me going over there by myself to visit."
"Yikes," Trina replies mockingly, "So what're you doing here? I've never known goody-two-shoes Tori to skip out of class?" Tori stays silent, and Trina notices the sadness on her normally cheerful face. Trina asks, "She's not just a play-toy, is she? You really care about her don't you?," being completely serious in demeanor now.
Tori shakes her head in the affirmative. Cat touches Tori comfortingly on the shoulder and informs her, "We used to have a friend named, Jade." She points to Beck and says, "She dated Beck here for a while, but then she started losing it. Jade was never very kindly, but as the days went by she started slipping deeper and deeper into her bad moods. That's when she stabbed that poor girl, who stood up to her."
Trina and the younger Vega share a glance, wondering if this is the same Jade. Tori brushes the hair behind her shoulders and asks cautiously, "You mean Jade West?"
"Yes," Beck answers for Cat in a disgruntled tone. "Don't tell me?," he scoffs, "You hooked up with the devil herself?" He takes a stab at his salad and brings a fork full of lettuce into his mouth, before chuckling condescendingly. Tori avoids his gaze and bites her lip, turning a little red.
"Hey, don't talk about her like that," Trina defends. She pushes her food tray towards the center of the table and stands up. She raises her voice, "I might not have known her back then, but the Jade West I know isn't anything like you're describing." Trina leans over the table to get in Beck's face. "She might be a little ganky around the edges, but she's been nothing but good to my sister ever since she came into her life," Trina reprimands, "So why don't you just shut your face?" She plops back down in her seat. Tori cracks a smile, never seeing her sister get defensive over her before.
"Beck's not wrong," André speaks up, "The girl's bad news, Tori."
Trina ignores him and asks Tori, "Why did you come here? You want me to drive you to see your girlfriend?"
"Ugh," Tori groans, "She's not my girlfriend. But... yeah."
"All right, let's go," Trina announces grabbing her purse and getting to her feet. She stumbles a little, because she is wearing a new pair of five inch stilettos that haven't been broken in yet. She rattles the keys at Tori. She might be playing the role of the protective big sister, but it's not like that entails a complete personality overhaul. Trina is and always will be perpetually impatient.
Tori and Trina walk together to the parking lot and make boring, pointless chitchat along the way. Trina climbs into the drivers side. Tori pops the door handle, but freezes upon seeing red hair reflecting in the window. She turns around and finds Cat standing there with a reserved expression.
"Jade came to visit us a few days ago," Cat coos while rocking back and forth on her heels, "She was asking for our help." She picks at her nails and without looking up continues saying, "Is it true? Has she really changed? She's nice now?"
Tori presses her lips together and confirms, "Yeah, she's a pretty cool person. And I've got the pink unicorn she won for me to prove it."
"I love unicorns," Cat exclaims in her goofy, stoner tone. "Can I go with you guys?," she cries with a wide smile latching itself across her face.
"Of course, get in the back," Tori chuckles opening her door and climbing in.
"Yay!" Cat shouts and takes her spot in the back seat, bopping up and down in the car like a sugar-filled five year old. Trina cranks up the radio to drown out her squeals.
Jade sits alone reading a copy of Huis Clos left by the previous girl who had this room at the shelter. She gets towards the end and reads the line "L'enfer, c'est les autres." She takes in the depth of the words and mouths the translation in English, "Hell is the other." Jade reads the last few lines and claps the book shut. Those four words haunt her. The closer she gets to others, the more vulnerable she becomes. She dared to kiss her best friend, Ashley, when she was ten years old, and that act of opening herself up to the Other did not end very well. Then her Mama left and broke her heart a second time that same month. It was then Jade vowed that she wouldn't let anybody new into her soul. She would obliterate everybody who tried to penetrate her defenses.
Beck was the perfect boyfriend for a long time. He never scratched at the walls that Jade erected. He rarely poked or prodded to get at her soft, gooey center. Whenever she would scream at him to stop, he would. It worked for the most part.
Then she came into Jade's life. It was mostly anger and hatred she felt towards Tori when she first caught her rubbing all over her boyfriend. For a while it was a sort of catty rivalry between the two girls, Jade fighting for dominance of the group. Yet, after that first day of alphabetical improv, Tori did something Jade never expected. She refused to fight back. When Jade faked getting whacked in the face during their stunt-fight scene and Tori found out, she merely turned the other cheek. It frustrated the raven-haired girl to no end. She did not know how to respond to such kindness.
Whenever Jade raised her shields, Tori kept smashing up against them, until she made a crack in her armor. It was a struggle for a long time, back and forth; one step forward, two steps backwards. Yet, in this world, Jade finally waved the white flag. The war was over. So perhaps other people don't have to be Hell. Maybe, just maybe, they can be Heaven.
Two soft knocks are heard on the door. Jade places the book on the desk and swiftly gets to her feet to answer it promptly. She pulls the handle open and is pleased to see Tori and Trina on the other side.
Tori presses forward, lays her hands on the side of Jade's face and gives her an ardent kiss. "I missed you," she mutters as she pulls away. A blush covers her cheeks when she hears Trina clear her throat, remembering they are not alone. Jade just chuckles and replies, "You're such a dork," waving them inside. "Hi, Trina," she welcomes.
"Wow, this place is small and depressing," Trina replies, spinning around to take in the entire ambiance of the room.
Jade shrugs and answers her, "It's warm and it's comfy," sitting down on the plush bedspread, "When you're at the end of your rope, it seems more than enough." Could it be? Jade West showing a small measure of thanks and gratitude? Tori takes her proper spot next to Jade on the edge of the bed, sitting close enough so that their arms are brushing up against each other.
"Why aren't you in school, baby?" Jade inquires with a curious expression after looking at the clock and realizing how early it still is. She raises her hand and pets Tori's upper arm, tilting her head to give her a stereotypical inquisitive stare.
"I wanted to make sure you were all right," she retorts shyly, wetting her dry lips with her tongue.
"I'm fine, Tori," Jade reassures, "You don't have to worry so much. I really don't mind staying here. I couldn't crash at your place forever." She pats Tori on the head like she is a five-year old boy.
"Yeah, it's not like I haven't been caught macking on a boy before," Trina pipes up, finally done scrutinizing every little detail of Jade's new room. "It's probably a little more shocking to be caught macking on a girl... not that I would know but," Trina continues, "Mom and Dad aren't homophobes. They'll get over it." With that she smacks her hands against her thighs and announces, "Well, I am gonna leave to go find some pudding," while standing. "Places like this usually have pudding," she adds, and is out the door.
They sit in silence for a few moments, enjoying each other's presence in the stillness and the quiet. Jade notices sadness creeping its way onto Tori's visage. "You okay, beautiful?" Jade asks her not yet official girlfriend, as mist begins to form in Tori's eyes. Jade takes her finger and brushes away the tears from the corners of her eyes, getting a little mascara smeared on them. "How could someone with such great cheek bones possibly be sad," Jade jokes, pinching the skin on the other girl's cheeks. In this world, there is no history of bitterness between her and Tori, Jade thinks to herself. Jade was never the tormenter here. It feels like a new tabula rasa, a second chance to re-invent herself, and she is not going to waste it.
Tori cracks a small smile and laughs softly in that airy, hissy sort of way. "I'm just afraid my Mom hates me now. You know?"
"Yeah, unfortunately I do," Jade responds sullenly. She simply wraps an arm around the latin girl and pulls her against her body. Jade turns her head and plants a kiss on Tori's forehead, which is covered with hair. It tastes like pomegranate.
"Can I come in yet?," a cute voice from the hall shouts anxiously.
Tori smacks her palms against her face and speaks apologetically, "Oh my God! I'm so sorry. Come on in, dearie."
Cat cautiously peaks her head around the corner, her red locks drooping off the side of her face. Like an outdoor cat creeping closer and closer to a food bowl left on the porch, Cat enters the room. Her steps are light.
Once Cat is standing directly over Jade and Tori, she tilts her head and studies the pale girl's face. It seems less twisted than she remembers. All of a sudden, Jade pops up and screams in a frightening voice, "BOO!" Cat screams in absolute terror and tries to run away, but Jade restrains her wrist. Tori scolds, "Jaaaddee!"
In a sudden reversal of persona, Jade pulls Cat closer and wraps her arms around her in an embrace. The poor red-head is so confused. Jade tightens her hug, squeezing her like she is going out of style. "I was just messin' with you," Jade informs, "We all need to have a little fun." With a smile from Tori, Cat gains the confidence to hug her long-lost friend back. "I'm so glad you're here, Kitty Cat. You broke my heart when you shunned me," Jade says tenderly into her ear.