Chapter 11.

AN: I said stop flaming you preps! See if this chapter is stupid! It deals with really serious issues! (Al: yes, Enoby breaks a nail and her boyfriend realizes he used her eyeliner)

P.S. See for yourself if it's stupid, BTW fangz to my friend raven for helping me!

"NO!" I screamed. I was horrified. B'loody Mary tried to comfort me but I told her to f*ck off and I ran to my room crying to myself. Dumbledore chased after me shouting but he had to stop when I went into my room because he would look like a perv that way.

Anyway, I started crying tears of blood and then I slit both of my wrists.

They got all over my clothes (Pip: yeah, that happens to me when I go into attention whore mode and slit my wrists. Blood all over my clothes. Messy.) so I took them offand jumped into the bath angrily while I put on a Linkin Park song at full volume.

I grabbed a steak and almost stuck it into my heart to commit suicide. (Joe: how do you stab a hunk of beef into your heart? Is that even possible?) I was so f*cking depressed! I got out of the bathtub and put on a black low-cut dress with laceall over it sadly. I put on black high heelswith pink metal stuff on the ends and six pairs of skull earrings. I couldn't f*cking believe it. Then I looked out the window and screamed… Snape was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! And Loopin was masticating to it! (Joe: he was…chewing?)

They were sitting on their broomsticks.

"Ew, you f*cking pervs, stop looking at we naked! Are you pedos or what!" I screamed putting on a black towel with a picture of Marilyn Mason on it. Suddenly Vampire ran in.

"Abra Kedavra!"he yelled at Snape and Loopin pointing his womb. (Kylie: FEAR THE WRATH OF MY WOMANLY WOMB!)

I took my gun and shot Snape and Loopin a gazillion times and they both started screaming and the camera broke.

Suddenly, Dumbledore ran in. "Ebony, it has been revealed that someone has - Nooooooooooooo!" he shouted looking at Snape and Loopin and then he waved his wand and suddenly…(Starfish: MORE. FUCKING. DOTS.)

Hargrid ran outside on his broom and said everyone we need to talk.

"What do you know, Hargrid? You're just a little Hogwarts student! (Pip: isn't he the groundskeeper? I could've sworn he was the groundskeeper.)"

"This cannot be." Snape said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where Dumbledore's wand had shot him. "There must be other factors

"You don't have any!" I yelled in madly. (Al: is anyone else actually able to follow this? I'm trying my hardest and I don't think I can…)

Loopin held up the camera triumphantly. "The lens may be ruined but the tape is still there! (Joe: OPTIMISM! YOU GO!)"

I felt faint, more than I normally do (Kylie: if you normally feel faint THERE IS A FLIPPIN ISSUE.)like how it feels when you do not drink enough blood

"Why are you doing this?" Loopin said angrily while he rubbed his dirty hands on his clook (Joe: is he still masturbating while all this is going on? What…?)

And then I heard the words that I had heard before but not from him. I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy or to bite him and drink his blood because I felt faint.

"Because…because…" Hagrid said and he paused in the air dramatically, waving his wand in the air. Then swooped he in singing to the tune of a gothic version of a song by 50 Cent.

"Because you're goffic?" (Al: I have tried to hold it in, I seriously have tried but HOLY FLIPPIN' CRAP IT IS SPELLED G-O-T-H-I-C! You frickin –edited out because we don't want to explain Al's messed up slang-.) Snape asked in a little afraid voice because he was afraid it meant he was connected with Satan. (Kodi: according to you though it is…continuity, you has none.)

"Because I LOVE HER!" (Kylie: NOT THIS AGAIN.)