Beautifully

Chapter 10: The Announcements

~.~

I want to write a book. I mean, it's been on my Life List since I was about 7, and I have one kind of started that I've been playing around with for a couple of years now, but…every time I watch a good movie or read a good book, I think, man, I want to write a book. So, I think I'm going to. I can do it, right?

Thanks for the reviews! As promised, here's another quick update!

~.~

Monica glanced out onto the balcony as she crossed her dark apartment on the way to the bathroom, able to see only the top of Chandler's head through the window. She frowned at that, grabbing a blanket from the back of the couch and wrapping herself in it as she headed over to the window to check on him. Even after she crawled out onto the balcony through the window, he was seemingly unaware of her presence, crouched down against the wall, face in his hands, cigarette between his fingers. Monica smiled, not because it made her happy that he was in such distress, but because she had been wondering all day when it would happen.

"Hey," she finally said quietly, making her presence known, and Chandler glanced up, dropping his hands from his face.

"Hey," Chandler replied, taking a quick drag of his cigarette. "You gonna yell at me for smoking?" he asked as she moved beside him, crouching down, as well. Monica shook her head. "Good, 'cause it wouldn't be worth it. I found these in the bottom of a drawer, and they're so stale, I might puke if I finish just this one."

Monica laughed, sliding down completely onto the cold ground, pulling the blanket tighter around her arms. "You okay?" Chandler shook his head from side to side, taking another drag of the cigarette, making a face as he did so. "Hey, you know who took it really well, at least? Ross," Monica pointed out.

"Why wouldn't Ross take it well?"

"Chandler."

"Rachel told you about Ross, huh?"

"It's a surprise to you that Rachel tells me things?" Monica laughed.

Chandler again shook his head. "Just never thought of it, I guess. I have too many other worries right now," he took another drag of his cigarette before smashing it out on the concrete.

"Like what?" Monica probed, and Chandler gave her a look. "Okay, I can guess the answer to that, but you could also tell me…you know, talk about it…."

Chandler sighed, moving from his crouching position to sitting beside her. "Everything," he sighed, running his hand through his hair. "I can't have a kid. I can't be someone's father," he shook his head. "I hardly ever had a father. Hell, I hardly ever had parents. I don't know the first thing about babies…I left Ben on a bus! Who the hell leaves a baby on a bus?" he continued, still staring at the wall. "And Rachel and I…we're so good right now. I didn't want to jinx it by saying that thought out loud, but we're doing so well, and things just work, and that's not something that usually happens for me, and I'm scared to death of what this is going to do to us…" he trailed off, staring at the ground, rubbing his arms since he was only wearing a long-sleeve tshirt.

"Chandler," Monica reached out to touch his arm reassuringly.

Chandler shook his head. "I just-what if I screw up a kid as badly as my parents screwed up me?"

"Chandler," Monica shook her head. "You're not as screwed up as you think you are."

"Yea, tell that to the therapist my mom sent me to for about ten years," he quipped quickly, shivering in the cold, so Monica moved closer, offering him part of her blanket, wrapping it around his shoulders. "Thanks," he whispered. "I just don't know how the hell I'm going to do this…."

"Well," Monica started slowly, "for starters, you could tell Rachel all of that…."

Chandler shook his head. "I can't freak her out more than she's already freaked out…"

Monica nodded. "I think you need to tell her all of that, though."

Chandler nodded. "I know. I just wanted to be okay with all of this and be strong for her."

Monica smiled. "Just because you tell her how you're feeling doesn't mean you're not being strong." Chandler sighed. "As for how to get through it…just take it step by step. Right now, go inside and go back to bed with Rachel. In the morning, talk to her. And then just…take it day by day. If you get freaked out about something, be freaked out, just…talk about it. I would guess that every parent in the history of the world has been freaked out and felt unprepared about having a baby…."

"Yea?" Chandler asked, and Monica nodded. "Thanks, Mon," he patted her knee, giving her a slight smile.

"Anytime," Monica returned the smile. "Now, if you're okay out here, I'm going to go back inside and pee, because that's the reason I got up, and the whole being cold out here thing isn't helping."

Chandler laughed. "Yea, I'm fine. I'll be right in."

Monica nodded, leaving the blanket for him as she stood up. "If you need anything…."

Chandler nodded. "I know. Thanks, Mon."

Chandler stared at the window for a few minutes after she was gone, finally standing up and going inside, heading towards Rachel's room. He stripped down to his boxers before crawling into bed with her, hoping he didn't smell too much like smoke.

"Hey," Rachel mumbled as he cuddled up beside her. "You're all cold," she paused. "And smell like smoke."

Chandler laughed. "Mad? I can go shower…."

Rachel shook her head. "Not mad. I was kinda waiting for it to happen," she rolled over to face him. "You okay?'

Chandler smiled. "I kind of talked it out with Monica, and, you know what, I think I am."

Rachel smiled. "Good. Wanna talk about it?" she asked, stifling a yawn.

"In the morning. Go back to sleep," he leaned in, kissing her.

Rachel shook her head, pulling away from the kiss. "Nope, it's like licking an ashtray."

Chandler laughed. "I'm gonna go shower and come back. Night, Rach," he kissed her on the forehead. "Love you."

Rachel rolled back over, already almost back to sleep. "Love you, too."

~.~

"Rachel, you are going to love me!" Julie sat down beside Rachel at Central Perk later that week, where she was currently filling out a stack of job applications. "So, you know how I had that friend who used to work at Bloomingdale's?" she asked, and Rachel nodded. "Well, he still has some connections there, and I was telling him about you, and he said he would talk to his old manager, and if you wanted, you basically already have an interview lined up to be a personal shopper!"

"Oh my god, are you serious?" Rachel asked, tears in her eyes, and Julie nodded. "Oh, I don't know why I'm crying," she wiped at her eyes. "Probably the whole being pregnant thing."

Julie smiled. "Okay, well, I will actually just give you his information, and he can give you the details," she handed Rachel his business card.

"Thank you so much," Rachel leaned in, hugging Julie. "I'm going to go call him right now," she stood up, walking over to where Gunther was standing at the counter, positive he would still let her use the phone.

~.~

"Guess who is now officially a Personal Shopper at Bloomingdale's?" Rachel exclaimed as she came into her apartment, everyone else already there.

"You got the job!" Julie was the first to respond, though Chandler was already out of his seat and had gone over to hug her.

"Congrats," he hugged her, picking her up off the ground. "I knew you would get a job you wanted," he smiled, leaning in to kiss her.

"Thank you," she replied sincerely, since he had been the voice in the back of her head that had given her the boost she needed to quit her job at the coffeehouse.

"Congratulations!" everyone else came into the kitchen to congratulate her, as well, so Chandler moved away, giving her one last smile, before letting everyone else hug her, too.

~.~

"I look fat," Rachel looked at herself in the mirror, studying the fourth outfit she had tried on, trying to get dressed for work, before peeling her shirt off, moving back over to the closet.

"No, you don't," Chandler reassured her, watching the growing mound of clothes on the floor.

"I wish I would just start to look pregnant so I could stop just being all bloat-y," she sighed, pulling on another, looser-fitting shirt. "I can't look pregnant if my mom's coming to visit tomorrow, though," she sighed, sitting down on the bed.

"Why is she coming?"

Rachel shrugged. "Beats me. But I'm glad she asked to come, so she doesn't wonder why I all of a sudden am the one to ask her to."

"Nervous to tell her?"

"Not as nervous as I am to tell my dad," Rachel sighed.

"Any chance we could just not tell them or see them for the next six-and-a-half or so months, and then just show up with a cute baby to deflect any negative feelings they might have for the situation?"

Rachel laughed at that. "Well, as appealing as that sounds…."

"Ready to kick some ass on your first day?' he asked, standing up and pulling her with him.

"Ready to kick ass and take names," she nodded, following him towards the door.

~.~

"Well, Chandler's a very nice young man," Rachel's mother pointed out as she and Rachel walked into Rachel's apartment after having lunch with him.

"Yea, I like him," Rachel smiled, letting her mother in.

"Your apartment is just so adorable!" Sandra gushed. "And your job just sounds like so much fun… You know, I never lived on my own or made my own money. I went straight from my father's house, to the sorority house, to my husband's house," she looked around Rachel's apartment. "This is some life you have here, sweetie."

"I know. And Mom, I realize you and Daddy were upset when I didn't marry Barry and get the big hose in the suburbs with all of the security and everything, but…this is just so much better for me, you know?"

"I do," she nodded. "You didn't love Barry, and when I see you with Chandler," she paused, shaking her head. "I've just never seen you this happy! I look at you, and I think, oh, this is what I want!"

"For…me."

"Well, not just for you."

"Wait, what do you mean?"

"Sweetie, I'm, um, I'm leaving your father."

"You're…you're what?" Rachel looked at her in shock at the sudden announcement.

"I mean, I haven't told him yet, but-"

"I think I'm gonna be sick," Rachel shook her head, running from the kitchen into the bathroom. Sandra walked over to the living room, leaning against the back of the couch for her to come out. When Rachel did, she shook her head as she walked out, her mother walking towards her.

"Rach-"

"No, Mom, I cannot have this conversation with you," Rachel shook her head, going back towards the kitchen. "I mean, god, you just come here and drop this bomb on me, before you even tell Daddy. What do you want? Do you want my blessing?"

"No."

"You want me to talk you out of it?" Rachel asked in frustration, grabbing a bottle of water from the refrigerator.

"No…"

"Then, what? What do you want?'

"I just figured, of all people, you would understand this."

"Why on earth would I understand this?"

Her mother smiled at her, walking over to where she was standing. "You didn't marry your Barry, sweetie. But I did."

Rachel's face fell, suddenly understanding. "Oh," she said quietly, tears in her eyes.

"Oh, honey, don't cry," Sandra walked over to her, hugging her.

"I'm sorry," Rachel choked out, moving away from her to sit down in one of the kitchen chairs. "It's just, once you're an adult, you don't expect your parents to get divorced. And-and, you never think that they-they might not have been as happy as you thought they were…"

"Oh, sweetie, I didn't know you were going to get this upset about it," she moved over to where Rachel sat down, placing a hand on her shoulder.

Rachel shook her head, wiping her eyes. "I don't-it's not just that," she took a deep breath, about to say the one thing she had been unable to get out at lunch. "Mom, I'm pregnant."

"You're what?"

"I'm pregnant," she repeated, Sandra laughing slightly.

"Oh, sweetie, you're just all hormonal!"

"You're telling me," Rachel grumbled.

"Oh, Rachel!" Sandra gushed, hugging her, though she was still sitting down. "That's so wonderful!"

"You're not mad?" Rachel asked timidly.

"Why would I be mad?" Sandra took a seat beside her.

"I left my fiancé at the altar as all of your friends watched, and now I'm pregnant and not even married. What will everyone at the country club think?" Rachel asked caustically.

"Oh, honey, I don't care what any of them think," she reassured her. "All I care about is that you're happy. And you obviously are! And a baby is never anything but a blessing," she again hugged Rachel. "I'm going to be a grandma!"

Rachel laughed. "Yea, you are."

"Oh, why did you let Chandler go back to work before you told me this? I want to congratulate him, too!"

"Well, I was going to tell you at lunch, but," Rachel shrugged.

"Oh, if you had, I wouldn't have dropped all of this nonsense about your father on you right now, either."

"Mom," Rachel shook her head. "It's not nonsense," she reassured her. "And I do-I do want you to be happy. Because it's all very worth it."

Sandra smiled. "Thank you, sweetheart," she kissed her daughter on the forehead. "I'm very proud of you, you know. Your father and I both are. You've just always had this drive that Amy and Jill never did quite have," she smiled at her. "And don't let what anyone else says or how your father reacts let you feel any differently. We're very proud of you, Rachel."

Rachel smiled, tears again in her eyes. "Thanks, Mom," she responded, hugging her again. "That means a lot."