How to Annoy Pistonhead

A/N: Sorry about the wait. My mouse crapped out on me and I had to get a new one. Now I can continue along with the updates

Kirsty continued to wander around the labyrinth looking for her next target. Her next target was decided when she saw none other than the sex maniac Pistonhead formerly known as JP Monroe. Pistonhead turned around to see a Kirsty Cotton walking towards him with a sly grin on her pretty face. Pistonhead couldn't believe his luck.

"Hey baby." Pistonhead grinned walking towards her. He was hoping he'd get lucky. So far none of the resident females took him up on his offer for a wild night of romance. Nothing long term; just a booty call. 'Ughh even in his cenobite form he's still a perv.' Kirsty thought to herself. She wondered how she could upset someone as weird and twisted as Pinhead. She gave it a shot.

1. Asked him if he got turned on by the pistons in his head

2. Offered to give him Advil for his head; when he went to take it pull it back

3. Ask him why he has a fucked up looking head

4. Tell him he makes a crappy mechanic

5. Tell him he makes an even crappier cenobite

Pistonhead along with being a sex maniac had what others called "Big Ego Syndrome" and was easily offended if pushed far enough. Pistonhead looked at Kirsty warily. If this was some kind of foreplay it was in poor taste.

6. Tell him his business The Boiler Room went bankrupt

7. Say that Barbie (former employee and barteneder) took over his business and its doing 1000% better than when Pistonhead had it

8. Say that Dreamer is filing for child support from their last "encounter"

9. Tell him Dreamer wants to get back together and say it was a joke

10. Say he has "little man" syndrome and that a flea's penis is bigger than his

Pistonhead if it were possible would have turned a bright shade of red. "My penis is of good size Kirsty. Wanna see?" he asked clearly offended. If any of the women he were attracted her had heard this his reputation of being a ladies' man would be shattered.

11. Tell him that you don't want to see his tiny penis

12. Follow him around yelling "Baby Penis" over and over

13. Ask him if his balls dropped yet

14. Say he can't maintain an erection at all

15. Say he can't even get an erection

16. Say he has an angina

17. When he asks what an angina is state you don't know but still say he has one

18. Say the only pleasure he gets is by the pistons pounding in his head

19. Set him up on a mystery date with a hot "female" make sure this "female" is actually a guy. (preferably Butterball)

20. Ask if he liked the butt sex from Butterball

Pistonhead was pissed now. He advanced on Kirsty with deadly intent. Although he had never laid his hands on a woman in anger he was considering making an exception with Kirsty. Kirsty was unafraid. She had been broken, thrown into a dumpster, thrown into offal, sat upon by the fatass himself. All of which would have killed a normal human or seriously injured them from the velocity of which she was tossed.

21. Say his parents are looking for him

22. Tell him Leviathan ordered him to have a sex change

23. Tell him he's going to be casterated

24. Forbid him from engaging in ANY sexual activity (including masterbation)

25. Tell him he has to maintain a long term relationship with Stitch

26. Grab onto his Pistons and jump onto his back yelling "bike ride!"

27. Take Chatterbeast's chew toy and hand it to Pistonhead. Laugh at results

28. Have one of Hell's Children run up to him yelling "Daddy!"

29. Tell him Leviathan has fired him

30. Say the only girl he can get to be with him is a blow up doll…and only if its been restrained.

Kirsty was having a hard time getting out of a small box she had been shoved into. How Pistonhead managed to get her into such a small box surprised even her. As she rebroke her bones trying to get out she couldn't help but grin. Who knew annoying the cenobites could be so fun?

Next up: Annoying Uncle Frank.