Chapter 11: The Desolation of Hurricane Marilyn

I looked at Faye. She was freaking the fuck out and that was never good. I mean, the girl was standing in my cabin with her hair looking like a rat made a nest in it and died. Faye wasn't as obsessed with outer appearance as I was, but she was a normal teenaged girl and there was no way in hell she would choose to be seen like that if shit wasn't serious.

I turned to look at Jasper as if he would know what the fuck was going on. He gave me a questioning look and shrugged his shoulders. His beautiful, strong shoulders...

Right, there was a crisis to be had. I willed myself to forget that Jasper was still holding my hand and standing slightly in front of me. A girl really could get used to having a big scary vampire protecting her...

"Who knows?" I asked. It was a small wonder that I wasn't freaking the fuck out. I knew I should be terrified. Faye didn't get spooked easily. There was this tingle on the back of my thighs that told me shit was about to go down. It just took my brains a while to catch up.

Faye looked at me like I was insane. I was pretty insulted by that. Like, I didn't ALWAYS freak out when something happened. Just... like 90% of the time.

"Your mom, Ella. She knows about you and Jasper!"

About me and...?

Oh... Oh shit.

Yeah, I spoke too soon. I let out a horrified gasp and my legs gave out from under me. Jasper had to step into my personal space so I collapsed against his fine body and not on the ground. Fucking hell, this was not good. Not good at all.

Why hadn't I thought about my mom's inevitable reaction until now? She was actively trying to pimp me out to Jasper and I had given her all the fucking fuel she needed to bring forth the fearsome strenght of Hurricane Marilyn.

My life was about to get infinitely more sucky.

"Oh god no. How...?" I mean, I knew the answer. There was only one person who was horrible enough to spread the gossip. It had to be Ariel. I just knew it.

"Are you alright, Ella?" Jasper asked quietly.

Hell no I wasn't alright. How could I be? Mom was going to have a fucking field day with me. She had been so over the top when she was 'helping' me to get ready when Jasper had come over to discuss our agreement. And that was just her taking a long shot that Jasper would think I was hot. Now she knew that there had been some pretty damn steamy action going on...

She was going to ruin my life. I just knew it.

"What do we do? She wants us to get ready together!" Faye continued her wailing.

I'm not proud of it, but I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Faye was going to suffer with me. Mom couldn't use all of her energy on me if there were two girls she needed to 'fix'. I liked Faye and everything, but I wasn't going to fucking sacrifice my sanity by saving her. Hell no. I was going to use her in any way I could. And then possibly make it up to her some day.

I mean, to be fair, she would do the same thing to me in a heartbeat. Faye was a decent human being and she had a lot of compassion towards all living things and shit like that, but there was nothing that was off-limits when it came to escaping my mother and the rest of my fucked up relatives.

Not even throwing your fiance's little sister under the bus. It was fucking survival of the fittest.

"This weekend just keeps getting better and better... Realistically, do we have any chance of escaping her?" I asked. I hugged myself and tried to find my fucking happy place.

It was pointless to hope for a miracle. Faye wouldn't be here if there had been even the slightest of chances that she could get away. The best I could do was to steel myself and hope to god that I would survive the Hurricane Marilyn without being reduced to a sobbing mess on the floor.

"I'm sorry, but what's exactly going on?" Jasper asked. Oh, that poor, naive boy...

"Ella's mother heard about you two and the... incident." What were we, 12? Couldn't she just say that my mom heard about us making out like there was no tomorrow?

"Yes, I understood that part."

Whoa, there was a lot of bite in that sentence. Was he still on the edge because of what happened earlier? And why was I getting turned on again? Oh... and he was still holding on to me. Mmmh, his big hands on my waist... what were we talking about again?

"What Faye is trying to say is that my mom now thinks that I have a real chance with you. So she'll drag me into her cabin by force and then she'll use me as a toy and do whatever she thinks will get you to want to fuck me." There, that wasn't so hard now was it?

"I was trying to be delicate..." Faye muttered.

Bitch please. She didn't have to try and make a good impression on Jasper. I knew that was what she was trying to do. How come everyone seemed to forget that this boyfriend arragement was only temporary and after this fucking wedding was over everything would go back to normal?

Jasper was clearly thinking about something. He stared down at me, but I don't think he was actually looking at me. His thumbs rubbed tiny circles on my hip bone and boy did that feel good. It's so unfair that he could have this sort of effect on me without even fucking trying!

Or maybe he was trying and just fucking with me. Who really knew? Maybe he was a huge teen romance fan and wanted to live through every cliche teen drama where the guy deceives the girl for personal gain? It could happen.

"And you don't want to go through that?" He eventually said.

I sucked on my cheek and thought about how I could best describe what I felt about the entire situation. A simple 'hell no' just didn't seem to do this feeling any justice. I mean, seducing Jasper Whitlock sounded delicious and all, but that would just end badly for me.

I went through my checklist of reasons why I shouldn't try anything with Jasper. A vampire in a committed relationship who had control issues. Yeah, getting it on with him was a great idea...

"Um, no. I'm trying very hard to not fall in love with you and screwing your brains out might complicate that a little bit."

What? I was doing the whole honesty thing! The one Angela recommended me to use and the one Jasper appreciated so much. I was being a good girl.

Jasper cleared his throat and his grip on my hips got tighter. Not in the 'oh god he's grinding my bones into dust' way, but in that 'he's reacting to me' kind of way. I liked it dangerously much.

"I do love your honesty, Ella Johnson..." He said quietly. Fucking shivers...

"So you keep saying. I'm starting to think that you are doing this to me on purpose."

He fucking smirked. He was practically oozing smugness and charm and sexiness. My mouth was suddenly so dry when he looked at me with that sinful smile of his.

"I can't help it. You saying things like that make it seem like you've issued a challenge. And I do like to win challenges."

Great. This was just fucking great. Good bye my ovaries. My face was burning yet again and whoa boy, I really needed to take a shower. It was a fucking Niagra Falls in my panties again and seriously, how much fluid could my body produce in one fucking day? It was so ridiculous and that smug bastard was enjoying this.

"Umm, is this a private moment or can we all just focus on the disaster at hand?" Faye said. She crossed her arms and she was looking mighty anxious. I knew I should've been just as anxious, but Jasper's magic hands were taking the edge off. That and his burning eyes and that fucking smirk.

"I can hide you away if you want to..." Jasper suggested. That sneaky bastard. It was so unfair for him to tempt me like that. Especially now that I couldn't help but to think the things we could do in that hiding place...

I wanted to beg him to take me faaaar away from my crazy mother, but that would not end prettily for me. Mom would tear the venue down looking for me and if I wasn't anywhere to be seen, she would take it out on me once we got back home.

Then again, maybe Jasper was willing to sweep me off my feet and never return me to my mom? I would be down for that. You know, just as friends. Because there was no way I was into Jasper Whitlock like that. Hell no.

I just had to keep reminding myself that I was worth more than the second place.

"Uh no, she's so not going with you. You are not leaving me alone with your mom, Ella!"

What a bitch. Using emotional blackmail on me like that. Faye was using her puppy dog eyes and weepy voice. The combination that rendered my already stupid brother into an imbecile. The fact that I would've used the same tactics if I had the chance was so beside the point.

Speaking of Brody...

"Where did you leave your worse half?" I asked. It was pretty rare for me too see those two love birds separated and I wouldn't have thought that Brody was willing to leave Faye alone for even a second when we were surrounded by poisonous snakes.

"He bailed on me. Took one look at your mom and decided that he really needed to go and catch up with your uncle. I can't remember which one."

Well, wasn't Brody being all heroic and shit? I rolled my eyes. Nothing good would come out of Brody hanging out with our relatives. Especially if he was on the edge because Faye was at the mercy of our mom.

...there might be a slight chance that I needed to do some damage control and separate myself from Jasper. I mean, he was indestructible so he could take on Brody easily. And he was an outsider who hadn't been spouting backhanded compliments about Faye and me.

But did I really want to risk the two of them hanging out together? Brody would sing like a fucking canary about everything embarrassing that had ever happened to me. Was I willing to risk that and lose my indestructible shield against my homicidal relatives?

Jasper looked at the door. Okay, so I thought I knew what that meant. The makeover from hell was about to begin. It was time to make the big decisions. Fuck my life...

"Last chance... I could fit us through the window and take you up into the woods..."

Fuck it was so tempting... But I couldn't. I sighed and stepped away from the sanctuary that was Jasper's arms.

"No, I can handle this. Go play with my stupid brother." I said.

Brody was going to owe me so badly for this. If he said anything gross to Jasper I would fucking shave his head and burn his CD collection.

"Me? With Brody?" Jasper's voice lost all of that delicious confidence. He was panicking just a little and it made me feel both really good that he was showing his humanity again and really bad because he was clearly so out of his league.

But he was my slave and I needed him to stop my brother from making a scene.

"Yeah. You two can bond over cars or football or something. You know, whatever it is that guys like to bond over. I need you to keep an eye on him."

His eyes found mine for a while. Was he confused? Fuck if I knew. Jasper Whitlock should definitely speak his mind more often. I felt like he could read me like an open book, but I didn't have a clue what he was thinking half the time. It was so unfair. Like all things in my life.

"Are you... worried about him?"

Faye snorted. What a bitch. I glared at her, but she just stuck out her tongue as a response. So fucking mature. You wouldn't think this bitch was 17.

"Do you kiss your girlfriend with that mouth? Stop saying gross stuff like that."

What kind of little sister would I be if I admitted that I looked after my brother? It was unnatural! There was no way in hell that I cared about what happened to Brody. I just needed him out of trouble so nobody could smear the good Johnson name. More than I had already done...

"Aww, you love him. Just admit it, El."

Gross! That was so wrong on so many levels.

"You better shut your mouth, Faye. We wouldn't want anything to happen to your beautiful hair..."

Vague threats were the best. If you said them menacingly enough, people's imaginations would do the scaring part better than anything I could've thought of.

"Now now, Ella. It's perfectly fine to show your brother that you care." Jasper joined in. What an asshole. These traitors were ganging up on me. I wanted to scream.

"Don't you dare tell him anything of the sort! He's going to get the wrong idea."

The door was opened again and my mom stormed in. Like, she pushed the door open with so much force that it slammed into the cabin wall and then she stroke a power pose once she was inside the cabin. Everyone was fucking after my drama queen title today.

"Ella darling, I thought it would be wonderful for us girls to get ready together for the evening!"

Gag. I took a deep breath and tried to ignore the way my mom's eyes observed my close proximity to Jasper. Yes, I would be digging my way through some deep shit. Life was fucking beautiful.

"Of course. That would be great, mom!"

000

Okay, it was time to panic. I looked at myself in the full-body mirror my mom had in her cabin. I didn't know whether I should be freaking the fuck out or if I should be impressed by my mom's talent.

I did not look like the same almost 16 year old girl who just had her first kiss. Oh no. Mom had pulled out the big guns with this one.

"You look so beautiful, Ella." She crooned in my ear. An involuntary smile took over my face. Damn mom and her fucking grip on my self esteem. Marilyn Johnson could destroy me or make me feel like I was perfect with just few words.

I was wearing a black dress made out of thick silk. It had a boat neckline that covered all of my chest and long, form fitting sleeves. The back was completely open and I could feel my underwear sticking out slightly. I had a bad feeling about that, but there was nothing I could do in this situation. Mom had decided that this was my outfit, and that meant I had no saying in any of this.

The hem was a little too short for my liking. It only came to my mid-thigh and while I was a big fan of short dresses, I didn't particularly want to wear something this revealing while this whole fake boyfriend thing was going on.

My hair was pulled up and I had large statement earrings on. They were golden, which was a rarity for me. I had cool undertones so I usually went with either silver or white gold with my jewellery. Mom clearly had a theme going on since I was also sporting a chunky golden bracelet and way too high, golden heels. I could barely stand up with them and my feet were already screaming for mercy. The fucking things I did in the name of beauty.

Jasper would have to be my walking stick the entire night...

"Isn't this a little too much? I mean, it looks like..." I tried to think of the right words. I didn't want to poke the bear.

"Like?" An arched eyebrow. Bad fucking sign.

"Like... I'm trying too hard?"

Holy shit that glare was scary. I hunched my shoulders and tried to make myself as small as possible. Was that an actual wrinkle I saw on my mom's forehead? God help us if the day has come when botox can't stop her wrinkles.

"Ella, surely you understand that you must look perfect tonight. I heard what happened with you and Jasper today and while I am so, so proud of you, you really need to nail it tonight. He'll be yours if you play your cards right."

Could these fucking people just realize already that Jasper was taken?! Like, they all knew that he had a girlfriend. And she wasn't even just a girlfriend, but his fucking wife of 50 years.

"Mom... It wasn't real. We were just... acting. Like we are supposed to be." I tried. It was pointless, of course, but at least I could look Jasper in the eye and say that I fucking tried.

"All the more reason you need to give your all tonight. You cannot let this boy slip past your fingers."

Here we fucking go. Please kill me now. Mom was actually going to pimp me out to Jasper Whitlock. This was just great...

"He has a girlfriend! Why do you keep forgetting that?"

Shit... I shouldn't have said that. Mom gave me the death glare and dug her long nails into my shoulders. Thank god I had full sleeves on, because those talons would've pierced my skin. I winced and lowered my eyes to the ground.

"Do not take that tone with me, Ella. I am telling you to steal that boy for yourself by any means necessary. Can you even comprehend what it will be like if our family shows up to the next family reunion without Jasper? You would be ruined for good."

I couldn't believe this was happening. It was so fucking insane and so wrong on so many levels! This whole fucking thing was so not my idea! I was more than happy to just get sick and stay home, but mom had to open her fucking mouth and spew out the stupidest shit ever.

"But mom..."

"Quiet now, Ella. I am giving you this opportunity to do what's best for this family. Brody and Faye are going to announce their engagement today, so you will have the opportunity to seduce Jasper. Make him fall in love with you Ella, or I swear to god you are not going to like the consequences."

I was knee-deep in shit. The woman was crazy. And so fucking scary... I had no doubt in my mind that I would be punished if Jasper didn't miraculously fall in love with me in the next 5-ish hours.

I felt a familiar bubble of panic entering my chest so I quickly excused myself and ran to the bathroom. Faye was finishing up her shower and she jumped in alarm when I pushed my way into the steamy room.

"Sorry. I need the bathroom. I have to call Angela..."

I guess she could hear the incoming meltdown in my voice as she just nodded her head, wrapped a towel around her body and left the bathroom.

It was all just too fucking much. I dialed Angela's number and prayed to god she wasn't busy with anything.

"Hey, how's it going over there?"

Oh sweet Jesus, her voice was the most beautiful thing in the world. I felt a little bit better already. Like I wasn't alone with my issues. I let out a shuddering breath. This should be fun.

"Mom wants me to sleep with Jasper. Tonight."

"...excuse me?"

Damn, I was good at surprising people. I should look into it to see if I could make a living doing that. Vampires and smart high school girls could be my super niche clientele.

"Yeah. She gave me one of those 'expensive hooker' makeovers and then she told me I need to make my move tonight. Ang, I'm freaking out over here."

"Why would she do that? I mean, I know she wants you to hook up with a Cullen, but this is a little much even for Marilyn."

But was anything 'a little much' for my mom? The woman was a fearsome natural disaster. I kicked my heels off and started pacing around the bathroom, avoiding wet spots so I wouldn't ruin my dress.

"That fucking devil's spawn told everyone that I kissed Jasper and then my mom heard about it and now she thinks something is happening between us and..."

"Wait, wait, wait.. Back up for a second. You kissed Jasper Hale?!"

"Well yeah, but that was only because he was going to kill Granny May and it was the only thing I came up with to distract him."

"He tried to kill Granny May? Ella, what's going on?"

Shit. I wasn't making any sense at all. Angela instructed me to take deep, calming breaths. It was a solid advice. She guided me through my minor panic attack by breathing with me. It was helpful.

"Okay. Now tell me everything."

I did. I told her everything that had happened today so far. It felt like a fucking lot. This wedding had only been going on for a day and a half and it felt like at least two weeks had gone by. There was a possibility that I'd be sporting grey hair by the time this shit show was finally over.

"This is no time for you to be gossiping with Angela. Hang up and come here so I can do the finishing touches to your outfit!"

Well, that was fun while it lasted. Angela hadn't even had the chance to tell me what she thought about everything. She had been so busy trying to calm me the fuck down.

"Hey, I need to go. Mom's not done with me yet."

I had no idea what her 'finishing touches' were supposed to be. I was in full make-up, my hair was up, I had the dress and I even had all the accessories on. What else was there?

"I don't like this at all. Where's Jasper? He's supposed to be preventing these things."

"Hanging out with Brody. Okay, she's breaking down the door in like two seconds. I'll call you later."

I left my sanctuary. Faye was already dressed up and mom was trying her best to thin out Faye's thick hair by ripping it with a hairbrush. Damn, someone was in a mood.

Mom's eyes scanned over my body like she was trying to find a flaw she could dig into. You know, it wouldn't be very mom-like for her to actually build up her daughter's confidence. Oh no, that would mean she couldn't control me anymore and she couldn't have that. I was too much of a screw-up to roam free.

"Turn around. Let me look at the back." She ordered.

I really had a bad feeling about this...

She walked over to me and started pulling at the dress to see if everything fit perfectly. She pinched the skin on my back and I wanted to throw up. I had been pigging out on food ever since we got here so I knew I was a little more bloated than normally. Not quite as toned as I usually was.

"You should spend tomorrow morning exercising a little. Being fat just doesn't suit your frame at all."

Fucking daggers right into my back. I sucked in my stomach just a little bit more. Mom just loved to make me feel worthless piece of crap. What a woman.

"Okay mom..." I whispered.

She started pulling on the fabric that was barely covering my ass upwards. My stomach clenched unpleasantly. She had to be up to something. There had to be some kind of agenda here. Why did she pick this particular dress?

"Take off your underwear, dear. It keeps sticking out."

Uh, excuse me? She wanted me to do what? I fucking knew it! She was doing everything in her fucking power to turn Jasper into a horny teenager who couldn't keep his hands away from her daughter. This was just fucking great.

"No way! Mom!" I squeaked out. My whole face was red and whoa boy did I look unattractive. Did I always look like this when I blushed? Note to self; stop blushing in front of Jasper Whitlock.

"You can't be seen with your underwear sticking out. Take them off."

Yeah, imagine if people thought that I used underwear. Oh, the shame! I wanted to throw a fucking temper tantrum of the century and sass my mom to next year, but all I managed to get out of my mouth was a super meek "But..."

I had an attitude problem. And by that I mean that I had no attitude when it came to my parents and that was a problem. Was this actually going to happen?

"Is that... appropriate? What if someone sees that Ella doesn't have anything under her dress?" Faye asked timidly.

God bless that girl. I could've kissed her right then. Faye was a team player and if we stood up against my mom together...

...we would lose spectuacularly and both of us would be in trouble. I was fine with Faye getting into trouble with my mom, but I didn't want to be dragged down with her. I appreciated her efforts to stand up for me, but fuck if I was going to join her resistance and get killed in the process. No thank you.

"It'll be fine. Now, Ella."

What the fuck was I supposed to say to that? I bit back every petty comment I wanted to say and just did what she wanted. I knew my mom and she would rip my panties off herself if I refused to do it.

I was so fucking pathetic. Willing to do anything just to please my mommy.

000

Oh my god. I was going to die from boredom! Why did I have to sit and listen as Ariel gave a speech about her perfect life with her Justin? This was an unusually cruel punishment that the universe had stuck me with. I was pretty sure her voice could be used as a weapon of mass destruction.

The rehearsal dinner was at a full swing. I never understood why people had rehearsal dinners to begin with. Like, what the fuck was the point of doing this? I was pretty damn sure that nobody in this room actually wanted to be here. I mean, besides Ariel and aunt Hannah. Hell, even Justin looked like he wanted to get away from this place.

Thank god I wasn't invited to the wedding rehearsal that was tomorrow before lunch. I wasn't a close enough relative so I didn't need to be there. It was bad enough that I would have to sit through the real thing.

This had to be the fucking reason why this stupid wedding lasted for four days. The she-devil wanted to have her cake and eat it too. Rehearsal dinner tonight, her birthday party tomorrow and her wedding on Saturday. I'm willing to bet anything that Ariel wanted to celebrate her 18th birthday with our relatives because she was a friendless bitch and nobody wanted to celebrate with her.

"Is she seriously talking about the fucking house again?" I mumbled to Jasper.

He and Brody had apparently gotten along really well. That thought scared me shitless. It could only mean bad things to me. I would have to interrogate Jasper as soon as it was socially acceptable to ditch this dead party. I needed to know what my dear older brother had told him.

Then I could start planning my revenge.

"You did say that she doesn't have that much material..."

I grinned and tried to stop myself from snickering. I didn't want to have any unnecessary attention brought onto me tonight. Not while I was going full commando.

Jasper draped his arm over my chair. He gave a subtle nod to the table to our right. Aunt Gloria's table. She was so fucking nosy. I rolled my eyes and leaned against his frame. Oooh, that smell of his... It was awakening my hormones and this was so not the time for that to happen.

But how to tell him that? I needed his back-up if I wanted to survive this night without leaving puddles on the floor.

"Can you dial down your sex powers for tonight?" I said in a whisper. It was so fucking handy that he had a super hearing. It made secret conversations so much easier.

Jasper's stone mask fell once again and he let out the tiniest of snorts. He covered it up with a subtle cough, but I heard it all. Okay, shocking him was so much fun! I should continue to do that just to see his adorable reactions.

"My sex powers?"

I rolled my eyes. As if he didn't know what I was talking about. He was clearly just fishing for compliments.

"You know, that thing you have going on that turns me on like every other second? Yeah, tone that down."

I made the mistake of looking into his eyes. Shiiiiit... I watched them turn into a darker colour. It wasn't full black yet, but my words definitely affected him. I wondered if there was anything I could say that would make his eyes turn pitch black...

Bad Ella! Get your fucking mind out of the gutter already! I was supposed to be keeping it together for tonight. I couldn't allow myself to get all hot and bothered!

It would've been so much easier if I had the chance to rub one out after the hiking incident, but I had literally been dragged away by my mom and there was just no way in hell I was going to diddle with myself while she was in the hearing range. Gross!

"And why do I need to do that? You seem to enjoy it so much, lil' darling..."

My eyes fucking rolled to the back of my head. How was it possible for someone to sound so fucking sinful and sexy? My lower abdomen tingled pleasantly. He was fucking doing this on purpose!

But... two could play this game.

I reached up and cupped the back of Jasper's neck. I pulled his head down and got so close to his ear that my lips almost touched it.

"Because I'm not wearing any underwear..."

Jasper inhaled sharply. His hand came to rest on my waist and he laid his forehead on the crook of my neck.

"Fuck..."

Jasper Whitlock and swearing was a dangerous combination. My body was on fire, big fucking surprise, and my mind was starting to get all fuzzy. Why did I want to stop him from doing his sexy mojo again...?

"You are a fucking wonder, Ella Johnson."

The flood gates were open. Shit. What was I going to do now? Stopping this, whatever it was, didn't feel like the right choice. I wanted to continue. I was in a room full of my relatives, my nemesis was trying to commit the perfect murder by boring us all to death and I wanted to continue.

There was something so seriously wrong with me.

Married. Vampire. 167 years old. And once again, married.

Yeah, my brain didn't function anymore. I tried thinking about my laundry list of reasons why all of this was a bad idea, but it was so fucking hard to convince myself when Jasper was making my entire body tingle.

"...and if some people could detangle for a moment, I would like to take this moment to thank all of you for coming to witness our union of love."

Fuck you, Ariel Reagan. It was so petty to interrupt people trying to get it on. Jasper chuckled huskily and lifted his head from my neck. I shivered. He was colder than your average human by now, but somehow I felt warmer when he was close to me.

"That bitch is just jealous because her sex life must be sorely lacking."

What can I say? I was feeling a little bit spiteful. My brain was still trying to catch up to what was happening so I was just all feelings. I would probably feel a little bit grateful that the devil's spawn interrupted us, but right now I was miffed that she had interrupted our game.

"How would you know?" Jasper asked, his voice sounding a lot more normal. Our short moment was over, but I had a funny feeling that there would be more moments in my future. That might be a problem.

"Well, do you get the feeling that Justin is a beast in the sack, because I sure as hell don't."

He laughed quietly. God that was a beautiful sound.

"Looks can be misleading..."

Was he talking about me? What, did he think that people who looked like me usually weren't so fucking thirsty for some action that they were horny all day every day? I thought that was pretty normal for every teenager. Then again, I guess it had been a while since he was a teenager...

Wait, his body was still a teenager's body, right? So shouldn't he be riddled with hormonal shit too? Or did hormones go away with the blood circulation and the breathing and stuff like that? I wanted to ask him, but this really wasn't the place to have this conversation.

Or the one that we were currently having...

Right, it was time to change the topic and hope that my no-no zone went back to normal before the dinner was over and the mingling started...

"What did you get up to with my stupid brother?" There, that was a completely natural question to ask. It didn't matter who overheard us. I was determined to see this thing through.

"I would just love to tell you, but unfortunately it's a secret."

Hey, would you look at that? The last remains of my horny thoughts disappeared and a sense of dread came over me. That couldn't be good. Not at all.

What the fuck had I done?

Author's Final Notes:

I'm back, bitches! Did you guys miss me? I certainly hope not, because missing and waiting brings expectations and when you don't meet those expectations... yikes!

I was originally hoping to fit everything related to the rehearsal dinner to this chapter, but I realized that it would be over 10 000 words for one chapter... So I made the smart decision to split it into two chapters. Because we love that slooooow pace here! It's not filler, it's 'character building'. :D

On the upside, the next chapter should be ready by the end of this week. It'll be the 'Deathly Hallows part 2' to this chapter. Hopefully.

Okay! People, thanks for the 4000+ views and the nearly 80 follows and all the comments and favorites! You guys are awesome. Give yourself a pat on the back. You've deserved it!