Hi everyone! I've been getting a couple reviews that want me to continue this series, so I'm going to try really hard to do so. I enjoy this series a lot too, I've just been off-my-ass busy for... my god, nearly a year and a half. I'll do my best to continue updating, even if it takes me another year.

Deth, Come Near Me

Canto 11: When All Else Fails, Hold Her Hair

No one saw Dolly the day of the Dethklok Convention of Appreciation Elite Class Convention. Three hours before it began, a couple Klokateers found her fast asleep in her room, completely unprepared. They quickly roused her and rushed her to her designated make-up artists, who were entirely disgusted by her disheveled appearance. Hastily, they threw her into a shower, pulled her out, and began her make-up and outfit. The make-up artists ordered the Klokateers to get the selection of dresses she had gone shopping for, and they ran off to grab them.

"Look up towards the ceiling without moving your face, sweetheart." The only male make-up artist said sweetly. She hadn't spoken a word to any of them the entire time, and while the female make-up artists took her anti-verbosity as malicious or vindictive, the male make-up artist thought it was mysterious, and in fact appreciated it; gabby clients could be such a hassle.

The Klokateers came back with the three dresses, and the artists were surprised with the quality and beauty of her picks. However, they noticed some like-terms between them, like the low cuts in the back, the small jewels just below the waist, and the bright and eye-catching colors, as the essential attributes to dresses enjoyed by the partners of Brett Flannigan. And it was for this reason that the make-up artists chose the bright blue dress that accentuated all of these attributes for Dolly to wear. They quickly slipped her into it, and shoved some shoes onto her feet, before giving her back to the Klokateers.

By the time they were done, the convention had just started, and the Klokateers quickly hurried her down the halls of Mordhaus to the main Gala hall. They quickly tapped the announcing Klokateer on the shoulder and pointed at Dolly, standing as still as a board. The announcer quickly cleared his throat:

"Announcing, Lady Dolly Codling."

Lights.

Cameras.

Action.

It was five hours to show time, and Offdensen strategically scrambled to get together the last-minute touches on the convention. This part he was particularly good at, and since the Appreciation Conventions were always funded by outside sources, he was always in a great mood for them. AKA, one might just see something of a smile on his lips, deep into the night, once he's had a couple glasses of brandy in his system for a while.

Periodically, he would send out teams of Klokateers to each of the boy's rooms to check that they were, at the very least, awake and aware of what was going on. All drugs were removed from their rooms, though they were each allowed a bottle of whatever alcohol they wanted until the beginning of the convention. This left them buzzed, awake, satisfied and open enough to new ideas that they would allow themselves to be put in tuxedos for the night.

As an offhanded thought, Offdensen sent a couple Klokateers to Dolly's room to make sure that she was getting ready on schedule. However, he wasn't expecting for her to not even be awake, none the less completely unprepared. He had them rush her to her make-up artists as quickly as they could and wake her up when she got there; he was in no mood to be kind and considerate.

Offdensen made his way into the ballroom, sparkling and beautiful with its ice statues of dead women and slow-roasted pigs shimmering with grease. He quickly crossed its expanses and peeked outside:

Throngs of rich and famous entrepreneurs and business men and women of all sorts were lined up in their most expensive cars, surrounded by common folk who were being kept off by thousands of Klokateers, lined up like barriers. Offdensen looked back inside, where the last of the silver utensils were being set up on the tables. He quickly checked his watch: 6:45, 15 minutes until the convention began, and he saw the five boys stumble into the hall. After getting them to look a little less drunk (because of course, they had to have extra stashes of booze in rooms other than their own and no one could've possibly found them all), Offdensen had the doors opened promptly at 7.

The rich and magnificent poured in; jewels and greedy eyes glistening brightly as they all quickly sauntered into the ballroom as the Announcer Klokateer quickly named them all off. The chamber orchestra in the corner started up with some quick, lively Mozart as they all finally made it into the ballroom, Offdensen standing at the podium.

He cleared his throat, "It's ah, good to see everyone here tonight. As you can see, your ah, gracious donations of $100,000 or more have not gone to waste. We are here to celebrate the continuing success of Dethklok, perhaps the must affluent band in the world. In the coming evening, there will be dancing, eating, drinking, merry-making, and all of you will be invited to stay late and see Dethklok's latest projects in action. Thank you, and let the Dethklok Convention of Appreciation Elite Class Convention begin."

Eighty-Five percent of the guests headed for the booze, because everyone knew that Dethklok's Appreciation Conventions were always more fun when you were just a little bit tipsy...

A note from the Announcer Klokateer's trumpet sounded, and he announced one last name:

"Announcing, Lady Dolly Codling."

All eyes were on the door. Everyone had heard about the fabled Dolly Codling; she had been all over the news the year before, and then suddenly disappeared. However, it seemed that she had returned to the ranks of Dethklok, and here she was, about to walk into their midst and perhaps reveal her secrets about her secret power over the greatest metal band of all time.

Her entrance was not disappointing.

A light blue high-heel slid into view, followed by a pale leg silhouetted in a Maya blue dress, a hand with a single silver ring and two silver bangles, and a pair of hips clutched by a bodice perfectly cut for her body. Her visible eye shimmered dully in the light as she paused and scanned over the guests, staring jealously or admiringly at her. She curtsied carefully, said not a word, and continued to walk slowly in.

The chamber orchestra started up again, and most people returned to their various activities. However, there were a few whose eyes still lingered on Dolly, including those of one Mr. Offdensen. He had seen her go from fiery little bass teacher, to fat ass hangout bro, to blubbering mess, to recovered saint, and now this... He didn't even know what to call this. This was something he had never expected. She was careful, quiet, calm, she didn't even look at the alcohol, and to top it all off, she looked beautiful.

He couldn't help himself; he had to go speak to her...

Unfortunately, someone got to her first.

Brett Flannigan was quickly at Dolly's side, an arm outstretched, and she quickly but gracefully grasped it, giving him a modest smile before allowing him to lead her away to who knew where.

Offdensen finished his brandy and went for another.

"My goodness, Miss Dolly Codling," Brett said, emphasis on the name he didn't know until just moments ago, "You look stunning in that dress."

"Thank you..." She said quietly, placidly sipping a glass of water and staring off into the distance.

Brett couldn't believe it; this wasn't the over-excitable young girl he had met before. She was mysterious, hidden; perhaps he had broken through her shell before but it was up again and she had turrets on them this time, making it harder for people to get through. She was going to be a challenge, that was for sure.

But that was more enticing to Brett than anything else.

Brett Flannigan was a big time producer in Hollywood, and spent most of his days either producing or canoodling with girls of all sorts; he was like Skwisgaar minus the G-Milfs. Very rarely did he get turned down, and when he did get turned down, it was only because he was a rather sloppy drunk and people tended to shy away from him when he started spouting about all the STIs he could've gotten. However, whenever he met a girl as mysterious, beautiful and hidden as this one, he became excited, and leapt to the top of his game.

But first, he needed to get her to look him in the eye.

He sat down in front of her with his own drink, as he talked to her about all his fundraising in the educational business, his help in the war-torn country of Darfur and his newest movie coming out. As he spoke, she didn't even glance over at him, instead choosing to stare out at the barren wasteland surrounding Mordhaus.

As his speech became a little less subtle and a little more sensual, he reached out to brush her hair from her eyes, his fingertips skimming the downy-soft, uppermost layers-

She slapped his hand away, without explanation. He was taken aback, but quickly apologized for being to brash. She simply shook her head and finally looked at him, insisting that it was all right, but asked him not to do that again.

Across the room, Offdensen snickered into his third glass of brandy as he watched from the corner of his eye. A very fat and very rich woman and her husband had enveloped him into a corner as they spoke of all their Dethklok endeavors, and he nodded and replied to their inquiries with short, blunt answers.

Brett then offered Dolly his hand, perhaps to go dance to the slow waltz that the chamber orchestra was playing. Dolly finished her water and took his hand, silently agreeing.

Offdensen's glass ruptured and broke in his hand, surprising the fat woman and her husband. They called someone to come clean it up as Offdensen excused himself and stalked off to the boys; his boys, perhaps his only source of true companionship. And of course, as expected, they were all drinking.

Offdensen was happy to join them, to their surprise and amusement.

"Brett Flannigan, huh?" Pickles muttered, taking a swig of vodka. "Slimy bastard jest had to pop up eventually."

"Look at him." Nathan growled. "He has the kind of sweet... angelic... beautiful face that you just want to cave in with a bowling ball. Who gives a shit that Dolly likes him; of course she'd fuck him. Anyone would fuck him. But dear god... I had no idea that someone could infuriate me as much as he does."

The band members gave a silent agreement and drank. Offdensen didn't say a word, as usual, though he had to admit that he was on Nathan's side with that argument. None of them said anything when Brett led Dolly out to the dance floor, and she held onto him for dear life as they slow danced. People actually cleared the way for them as they swung back and forth to the slow triplets that hung in the air around them. Her eye was closed as she stepped in threes, and Brett seemed beyond pleased.

It came as no surprise that he took that opportunity to kiss her.

However, it did come as a surprise when Dolly pressed her fingertips to his chest and pushed him away, quickly excusing herself and walking out of the ballroom. The doors opened for her, and Offdensen watched through the thinning crack in the doors as she yanked off her shoes, turned, and tore down the hallway.

Bewildered, Offdensen excused himself from the company of his boys, and followed after the girl. He heard the gentle tinkling of the jewels on her dress and followed quickly after them to one of the generic hallway bathrooms. He looked in gingerly, to see her sitting in front of the toilet bowl, crouched over, vomiting her guts out. He was still a little confused; she hadn't touched anything remotely alcoholic.

She heard him at the door, coughed up the last bit of vomit, and croaked out, "Who's there...?"

Offdensen cleared his throat, "It's ah... me."

She groaned, "Please go away... I don't want you to have to see me like this. I feel sick as a dog, and I probably look like one too."

However, he walked in and sat next to her, smoothing her hair back and holding it as another wave of nausea crashed over her and she vomited again. She breathed heavily, he breaths reverberating against the walls of the toilet bowl. Forced tears ran down her cheeks, bringing her make-up with them.

"Guh..." She gagged a little before finally spitting out the last of the vomit. She looked at Offdensen and wiped some throw-up from her lips, "Thanks..."

"Are you sick?" He asked.

She shook her head and sighed, "I'm so ashamed of myself... I spent the entire day drinking wine before coming here. I didn't eat anything, so you can imagine how much my head is pounding right now..."

"You didn't look drunk or hung-over earlier."

"You wanna know why I was walking so slowly and why I wasn't talking? Dude, Offdensen, I swear to god, if I spoke more than a couple words back there, I would've barfed all over the place. I was being quiet and slow because I was in pain..." She blinked. "I didn't look like an idiot, did I?"

Offdensen shook his head and removed his hand from her slightly vomited-on tresses, "Not in the least. In fact, ah, the main adjective going around for you was mysterious."

Dolly barked a laugh, "Mysterious? That's a hoot if I ever heard one. The only thing I could think of what I was walking was 'Please god don't let me vomit or piss all over myself'... Disgusting, I'll admit, but it helped."

"... Why ah, why were you drinking so much?"

Dolly hid behind the toilet, "Don't be angry with me... I'm just terrified of that guy Flannigan. I can't stand the way he looks at me; and when he told me straight up earlier that he wanted to have sex with me, I wanted to cry... I can't stand it when men ask for sex like that. So I tried to get too drunk to come to the convention, but I can see now that you already have no tolerance for that..."

And then it happened: Offdensen's lips curved into a tiny smile and he chuckled just a little bit. He stood up and offered the dumbstruck Dolly a hand, which she gladly took as he hoisted her up. She washed the vomit out of the ends of her hair and wiped the make-up from her cheeks while asking with a smile, "Why are you laughing at me?"

"... You remind me of the boys."

Dolly laughed, "I guess I would laugh at me too, then. We can do the whole 'One person goes in 5 minutes after the other' thing so no one thought we ran off to have a quickie in the bathroom."

Offdensen just took her arm after she put on her shoes and shook his head, "What they think of me is no consequence tonight."

Dolly smiled, endlessly grateful. She brushed herself off, dabbed at the runaway mascara with some tissues and took a deep breath, nodding at Offdensen before they returned to the ballroom.

The ballroom buzzed with excitement after the manager of Dethklok ran after the mysterious woman. Could they be lovers? Could Flannigan have put a wrench in Offdensen's plans to woo her? Could she have been in a secret relationship with Flannigan?

No one knew, and oddly, the only people who were slightly more knowledgeable than anyone else was, perhaps for the first time, Dethklok. They didn't think on it much, but the way Offdensen ran out after Dolly... It was just extraordinary.

"Think they're boning?" Murderface asked offhandedly, hiding the fact that he was interested.

Skwisgaar shrugged, "No ideas. He ams kind of a robots; maybe she ams into de kinky stuffs."

Nathan shook his head, "Don't you think we would've noticed if they were screwing? Besides, Offdensen tells us everything. He wouldn't fuck our best friend who also happens to be very pretty lady behind our backs. He's not a dick like that."

The other members of Dethklok agreed silently, and the trumpets blared as Offdensen and Dolly returned, arm in arm. Everyone in the room stopped and stared; what an odd pair they made. Almost all of them had followed the dealings with Dolly little more than a year ago, and her reappearance into Dethklok's lives was huge news, especially since she had found herself big in the Swedish music scene. She was the exact opposite of Offdensen, and yet there they stood, together.

Across the room, a disgruntled Brett Flannigan watched as the pair crossed the room, a smile playing across Dolly's lips.

'Conniving bitch.' He thought, a couple rich women cooing reassurances at him. When she pushed him away, he could only stand there in shock as she rushed away like Cinderella, though she hadn't left him for her carriage, she left him for Offdensen, one of the coldest, most business oriented people he knew.

Flannigan stared at Offdensen; a couple older men had approached him and Dolly and they were conversing. Offdensen had that typical calculating look on his face, always cold, always withdrawn and yet charismatic at the same time. Dolly spoke after him, and the old men laughed. Flannigan then saw something he never thought he would:

Offdensen's lips curved upward into what one could call a smile. Did he like this girl? This odd, bipolar, strange little girl who popped in and out of Mordhaus like a cuckoo clock? In his anger, Brett squeezed his glass of water in frustration, though he did not crack it. He stood and, at the protest of the ladies around him, walked out to the veranda and refused to go back inside like a spoilt child.

The night passed without further conflict, and Offdensen and Dolly stayed within close proximity of each other the entire time. If their arms weren't locked, then they were standing within feet of each other. Whispers flew across the room about possible engagement plans for the two, arguments about who would throw them the best engagement party, the best wedding, the best honeymoon. Of course, the two of them heard every word, and simply ignored the talk whilst at the same time laughing at the idea of the two of them being married.

And finally, in the dead of night, when not even the yard wolves howled, Dethklok took the stage. Offdensen and Dolly took their seats up near the front, Brett Flannigan just behind them.

Just before the show started, Dolly leaned over and whispered 'Thank you' into Offdensen's ear. He turned and nodded a little; Brett fumed. He hated being stood up, but for that passionless robotic loser? Never. That Dolly girl wounded his pride, and if it were the last thing he would do, he'd wound her back.

Dethklok played a fantastic show, and as many of the women filed backstage to meet with Dethklok, Dolly and Charles slipped away to a small balcony at the end of the ballroom.

Dolly grinned, "Thank you so much, Mr. Offdensen... I don't think I've ever had this much fun in my entire life!"

"Your happiness seems to make Dethklok happy so I'm ah, glad to hear that." Charles replied stiffly.

She shrugged, "Whatever the reasoning, you've made me very happy tonight... I thought I would be especially unhappy after the Klokateers pulled me out of bed to come here, but you saved me." She smiled back at him, "I don't think people tell you that enough. You're underappreciated, you know that?"

"I do, perhaps more so than necessary." Though it was a somber statement, Offdensen's face did not give way to any particular emotion.

"Well..." Dolly quickly kissed his cheek, "I appreciate you more than you know. You've done more for me than anyone in the entire world, even if it was all for Dethklok's benefit. I'm indebted to you, I metaphorically kiss your feet."

"Only metaphorically?"

Dolly laughed and lightly punched his shoulder, "For now~"

Things were about to go awkwardly silent between them, but a resounding explosion cut off the awkwardness as body parts flew across the room. Quick as a flash, Charles was at the stage, where the bomb had gone off. The boys of Dethklok, all fine, stared at the carnage with distant but interested looks.

"Brutal." Nathan said, taking a bite out of a Popsicle that seemed to come out of nowhere.

"What happened?" Offdensen asked, quickly looking over the boys, who were all quite well with Popsicles in hand.

"Some guys wants our autograbbits so he comes up on de stage, but whens he reaches to his pockets, he pulls out a littles metal pins insteads of a pen!" Toki said, tapping his head. "He tinks we stupids or something! We can'ts writes autogramophones wit' de metal pins! So we has Klokateers tackle him... And den deys all explode. It's funny, haha!"

Offdensen raised an eyebrow and turned to look at the pile of dead bodies, accumulatively having a giant, gory hole in the middle of them, and sighed. And the night was going so well, too...

'... and Madam, you are tactless and without shame. Your lack of sympathy towards the social hierarchy of the world's economy is staggering. Running from man to man is not something a woman of your current rank and place should be doing, and neither Offdensen nor I should be forced to be caught up in your web of lies and pleasures.

Good day, Lady Dolly Codling. You'll not be hearing from me again.'

A couple frustrated tears stained the letter as Dolly crumpled it in her hands and tossed it into her fireplace. In order to create himself as the victim in the supposed "scandle" during the Appreciation Convention, Flannigan sent Dolly a scathing and insulting letter, as well as sending it to the press a couple days after the Convention. They ate it up. She couldn't leave Mordhaus without being bombarded by questions about her alleged dealings with Flannigan and Offdensen. The media painted her either a high-class mistress to the rich, or a lowbrow skank.

Either way, Dolly became deeply depressed by this, and hid away in Mordhaus. Offdensen, without the time to sit with Dolly and help her through her time of need (he wasn't really sure he could; emotionality wasn't his shtick), he had a couple female Klokateers around her to make sure she didn't do anything stupid. It was especially bad during Fan Day; somehow, she managed to fuel Dethklok's frustration over the day, and instead of doing what they should've and sitting on display for the fans to see, they sat around a table and bitched at each other.

She got poor Nathan to drink so much the night before, that he vomited blood the next morning... His liver transplant didn't go too well either.

Beyond irked at Dolly's sudden destructive nature, Offdensen calls Dolly into his office the day after Fan Day. She drags herself in and slumps into the seat in front of Offdensen's desk, childishly refusing to look him in the eye.

"Why are you doing this, Dolly?" Offdensen asked, his arms crossed.

"Because." She answered.

"Because why?"

"I don't know."

"Then why don't you stop?"

"Because I don't want to."

That was the last straw. Offdensen stood up, grabbed Dolly by the collar of her shirt and threw her to the ground. Shocked, Dolly finally met his eyes, and recoiled when she saw them smoldering with something vicious.

"Stop being such a child!" He snapped. "I've come to expect something better of you, Dolly. I thought you were better at using your head than the boys were, but apparently I was wrong. You've been the worst kind of instigator. Making the boys upset, making them angry; Nathan got another liver transplant because of you! So you got some hate mail; you're going to let one letter, one person's perception of you, change the way you operate? What does that make you? That makes you putty in their hands, that makes you weak, that makes you worse than the boys. At least they don't cave to pressure. If this is the way you're going to act from now on, you can go back to Sweden. Maybe the boys will be better off without you this time."

Throughout the speech, Dolly let a couple tears run down her face, tinged pink with embarrassment and shame. But at the end, she couldn't hold it in, and sobbed. Offdensen stared down at her without flinching, waiting for her to say something.

"I'm so sorry..." She sputtered. "I really don't know why I've been so stupid the past week or so... I just got so angry! I wanted to take it out on anyone else, anyone that would swallow it, I didn't... I just wanted someone to hug me and tell me that I wasn't those things, that I wasn't as pathetic as I felt... I hate myself for it; I had no idea that Nathan would have to get a liver transplant, which killed me..." She whimpered, eye red and puffy. "I'm so sorry..."

She pulled her legs to her chest and continued to cry, murmuring apologies. Offdensen sighed and shook his head, "Next time, just tell me. In case you haven't noticed, nobody does anything alone around here."

She sniffled and looked up at him, "... You do."

Offdensen cracked a little bit of a smile, "If you would grow up, maybe I wouldn't have to."

Dolly laughed, wiping the tears from her cheeks, "Seriously Mr. Offdensen... I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Neither do I." He offered her a hand, she took it, and he hoisted her up. "Now ah... If you'd like, I could ah... give you that hug—"

She threw her arms around his torso, and he hesitantly patted her back. She snuggled her nose into the folds of his suit jacket, breathing deeply and sighing, "Like I said, you have no idea how much I appreciate you..."

'Likewise...' He thought, continuing to pat her back...