Thanks for all those wonderful reviews I have received now this chapter will answer some questions for you all. I do hope oyu like it, But not all questions have been answered.

The nurse returns handing Grace a packet of Ondansetron, she quickly checks over it to make sure the seal is unbroken, before passing it over to Ana.

"Ana normally we don't allow our patients to handle the drugs unless it is what we have already removed for them." Grace says sweetly to Ana as Ana turns the package around and around in her hand checking it all out.

"So will this help?" She says as she looks up at Grace.

"It should do but it may take some time to work, don't expect it to work right away. Also there could be side effects."

"Like what?'

"Vomiting, rash, some people get blurred vision; feel like they may pass out."

"Ok can you get me one please?" Ana says as she passes the package back to Grace to handle.

"You need two Ana." She says as she pops two out into Ana's hand.

Grace watches as Ana places them in her mouth and allows them to dissolve.

"Ok Ana I want the truth form you about what has been going on while you have been away." Grace says firmly to her and Ana doesn't reply she just looks down at her hands. "Ana I did a tox panel on you it shows you where poisoned at some stage….Do you know what poisoned you?" Grace asks and Ana just nods her head.

"Did you do it to yourself?" Grace asks her

"Yes and No." She says to Grace. "I took some stuff to make me sick, to make me vomit."

"Why?"

"Can I explain in private please?" she asks her and Grace agrees the two then walk back into the room that that Ana and Christian are sharing.

Once they have sat down Ana starts talking again.

"I was at a clinic getting help; they wouldn't let me leave so I was hoping that if I made myself sick they would bring me here which in turn would get me out."

"If you were sick Ana why not come to me? I would have helped you out and been able to keep it private form everyone." Graces says to her, and Ana can hear the hurt that Ana did come to her, trust her enough to help her get better. Ana sees a lone tear fall form Graces eye.

"I wasn't sick in that form Grace. I needed help with personal issues. Issues I have had that where there even before I met Christian." She says to Grace and the two look at each other. Christian is still facing away from them but is listening to what Ana is telling his mother. The issue she is talking about he knows about already. Issues they have spoken about on so many different occasions.

"Do you feel like you can share them with me?" Grace asks her. Ana sits there not sure what to say to Grace. Christian stays where he is he so wants to say it for her but he knows form his own experiences that someone else saying it doesn't help you, you can start to mend, improve and even accept till you can physical say those things. He knows it wasn't till Ana made him confront his mother's grace, and even say he loved her that he was able to start to accept what had happened to him. She may have pushed him but it was saying those words going to his mother's grave that were the biggest help of all. Laying there he knows that Ana needs to say what is wrong, admit to others not just to him that she has issues, he still doesn't fully understand where they come from as she hasn't fully told him why she is like she is.

"Um..." Ana says she wants to tell Grace but she is also unsure about doing it. She has only really told, Christian. Dr Flynn guessed the issues and hit the nail on the head with his answer. And then there was the councillor at the clinic she was at that she had semi told her the issue. As Ana sits on the end of the bed her legs over the side, thinking about how to tell Grace and if she should tell Grace, she feels a body wrap itself around her, Arms circling her waist and then Christian whispering in her ear, she doesn't fully catch what he says though she does turn her head to look at him.

"It's ok baby, tell mum she'll understand and I will be here for you like you have been there for me." He says before placing a soft gentle kiss on her lips, and then snuggling into her the best he can as they both sit together. Christian looks at his mum and gives a faint smile and Grace is pleased to see him smiling.

"Just start at the beginning baby." He says to her. Elliot's little nick name of using baby now being so well used by the two brothers and their wife's now.

"I have issues with myself." She gets out and Grace just sits there not saying anything and Ana starts to panic and Grace see's this.

"Ana darling take your time I'm just going to sit here and listen and not interrupt you ok. So do not panic if I say nothing it's because I want to give you the time to say what you want to say. I will only talk when you tell me it is ok." She says to her as she places a hand on Ana's knee gentling rubbing it.

"I've had these issues before I met Christian. Some days I have good days other days I don't…. I sometimes wonder how people see me as being beautiful, or amazing. Even stunning as Christian has put it at times…to be honest I often feel like I don't belong here, that Christian should be married to someone more beautiful, more stunning someone more suited to living in the lifestyle that we live in." She says as tears start to fall down her face, Christian holds her tight in his embrace and places several kiss on her shoulder through her clothes. He knows how she feels about herself but it still hurts him when he hears her talking about herself, doubting herself.

I'm not sure it mum would be happy about me talking to you about this." Ana says.

"Honey if this has to do with Stephen then talk about." Comes the caring voice of Carla who is standing in the door way of the room, having heard part of what Ana was saying to Grace.

"Mum" Ana says shocked to see her mother here.

"Go on Ana at least you don't have to go through this twice, you know I that I know what he was like." She says trying to encourage her daughter to talk more, to open up about what happened when she was married to husband number 3 as they call him. A time when Ana ran back to Ray because of Stephen. Something Carla never stopped Ana from doing, she just had to stay and plot her exit carefully. When Ana doesn't go on Carla starts to talk.

"My third husband was not so nice. He was abusive; he often said things to me and Ana. Things that for a teenager wasn't good. Ana didn't stay long before she went to live with Ray, while I had to work out how to get out of the relationship and marriage without getting hurt physically." Carla says to them all.

"Please go on baby?" Christian whispers to her.

"Mum is right, he often told me I was ugly, hopeless, and useless and that no one would ever love someone as ugly as me. Even when I dressed up for school functions or parties he would say I am not beautiful you look even more ugly than before. He also said I am only any good as a maid and nothing else and that I will amount to nothing in this world." She says as she breaks down in sobs at having said out loud for the first time since leaving that house what had been said to her. Everything that a teenager going through the change of life doesn't need to be said to them, words that would stay with her and causes issues for her later on. Christian even has tears falling down his face at the hurtful things that had been said to his wife. He is not the only one who is fifty shades of fucked up his wife is two.

"The only good thing was when I spoke to mum and then she heard him one day she then said it was fine for me to go back to Ray if Ray would let me. Ray agreed straight away and I was out of there within a few days." She says as she sits there looking at her hands, Christians arms still wrapped firmly around her waist holding her to his body as the tears fall down both their faces, she feels his tears as they drop on to her shoulder and slowly wet her top.

"I know I shouldn't have let those things get to me but they stuck. They are always there in the back of my head. Whenever I put on a fancy dress I always think that this isn't me, that I'm not good enough. Then at times I feel I'm not good enough for Christian, that I can't fulfil his needs."

"You do fine with that baby."

"But you had a different lifestyle till I turned up in your life." She says as she looks at him.

"Damn Elena planting those thoughts in your head."

"She didn't plant them she just confirmed my worst fear that one day you would leave to go back to that lifestyle. Leave for someone more fulfilling, someone prettier, some one more use to all of this."

"I don't want some Paris Hilton, or runway model. I have only ever wanted you from the moment you fell into my office I've only ever had eyes for you baby." He says as he places a kiss on her lips trying to send her the message that he only wants her and no one else.

"You've brought light into my dark world, you've brought me love. You've made me into a better person baby. No one else has even been able to do what you have done for me, no one." He says trying to reassure her, trying to hope like hell he can get through to her again how much she means to him. "All I care about right now is you and our two children, well you getting better would be good and also eating."

"Hey don't get at me about eating when I have eaten and you haven't." She snaps back at him.

"Ana have you been speaking to anyone about your self-esteem issues?" Grace now asks her.

"I have sort of spoken to Flynn about it, but he said until I can admit to my issues I want get better. I have to be prepared to take the steps and only I can do that. That is why I went to this clinic. It was meant to be a business trip so no one knew where I was really. What I didn't expect was to not be aloud to leave when I asked to leave. I got told I signed a contract for two weeks and I had to stay for those two weeks regardless of if I thought I was fixed or not. I was unable to get access to a phone and my security guard went AWOL, so I went looking for something to make me sick enough that they would have to bring me to a hospital. Well I got sick but I didn't get to a hospital as such, well not a public one. After that things are sort of all over the place. I honestly thought I had only been gone a couple of weeks. If it wasn't for those big mouth nurses talking about Christian and the place having a new reception person who I was able to get to do as I wanted; I wouldn't have known Christian was sick and gotten enough courage to get out of there." She says as the tears keep falling down her face as she speaks, she does feel lighter for getting this off her chest, but she just hopes she doesn't have to go over it all again with her dad and Carrick it is hard enough talking about it now than repeating it all to someone else. She doesn't want to disappoint Ray, her step-father who has been more like a father to her.

"Normally if I did too much moving around I would end up extremely tied and would sleep for ages. Somehow I got enough energy together to get out of there. I was surprised I even made it to here without collapsing on the way."

"What happened during that time from when you made yourself sick Ana until you heard about Christian." Grace asks her gentle, not wanting to be a pain by digging for information.

"I remember waking up and being told I was not well, I was hooked up to an IV pole like I am now. They would give me food but then I start to bring it back up after a few days. I asked several times to be able to ring home, but got told I couldn't as Christian was away. They said he had approved everything they were doing."

"Like bloody hell I had." He says his voice full of anger that someone would do that to his wife.

"They also started giving me drugs, all sorts of drugs, some would go via my IV access some via mouth when they started to notice I wasn't swallowing them everything went through the IV line. I was only able to keep water down, they stopped bringing food into me since I was throwing it up they said it was a waste of food if I was just going to do that. The more drugs they gave me the sicker I felt, I felt like crap today has been the first day where I feel semi normal again. I still don't feel well but I don't feel as tired as I normally am." She says as she sits there in Christian arms, leaning against his body, their combined heat keeping each other warm.

"Ana do you think you can tell me what happened on Friday?" Grace asks and she along with Carla see the panic look come over her face.

"Um…"

"Ana just take your time."

"You can tell them baby."

"They said I had a seizure. They said it was because I wasn't taking my meds like I should have been, that I wasn't listening to what they were telling me to do, I wasn't resting. They said I needed more medication now to prevent another one happening." She says to them.

"What time was this Seizure Ana do you remember?"

"I'm pretty sure it was in the morning I had been out of my room I snuck out to have a look around the next thing I know I wake up on the floor with everyone around me going nuts at me."

"I feel dirty, can I go have a shower?" She asks them. Christian unwraps his arms as he asks her if she would like him to join her, and she shakes her head at him. "I need some alone time please." She whisper back to him as Grace then prepares to remove the Fluids that are running into Ana's arm so she can go have a shower.

"Ana sweetie thank you; very much for trusting me with all of this." Grace says as she wraps her arms around Ana giving her a loving hub.