Okay this is a really short chapter that i wrote before getting ready for school. If there's any mistakes i apologize. So please, Read, Review and Enjoy!

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I hate my life. I hate my life so much. Why? Why do I love him? Why am I being tormented? Am I the only person in the world that feels this way?

God I just wish I had someone to talk to.

"Hime, wake up, it's time for school!" My big brother calls through the wall. It's futile. I'm not going to school today.

My mind is too messed up and my heart too broken. He's the only thing that's on my mind, him the and conversation that just keeps repeating itself over and over in my brain. The one and only time, no, the first time I've ever been in love and…and…

"Hime, come on, you're going to be late again!" he calls again. I turn over, pulling the covers over my head trying to drown out the noise of the world as a fresh bought of tears comes over me. I spent half the night crying so I have next to no sleep. I hadn't eaten anything since yesterday morning, but I'm too depressed to fix me anything. I'm too depressed to do anything. The world is so dark and so bleak right now, I just can't…do…anything. How could he not like me? How could he reject me?

"Orihime?" my brother opens the door to my room in caution. "Orihime, please don't tell me that you're still asleep?"

No, I wish he would just leave. I don't want to talk to him right now.

I hear him cross the room and feel him plop down next to me on my bed. He tries to move the covers from me, but I hold on to them tight.

"I'm not going to school today." I say hoarsely.

"What's wrong with your voice?"

"I'm not going to school." I repeat.

"Are you sick?" He asks me. Am I sick? No, but it reminds me of the time when Mr. Kurosaki was sick and I took care of him and I realized that I was in love with him, which I tried to confess but he only ended up rejecting me.

I start crying again. My brother tenses up. The only times I cried are when I hurt myself. But I did hurt myself. I fell in love with my teacher and he doesn't love me back. I don't think that a band aid and a red bean cake will fix it.

"Hime what's wrong?" he asks with a gentleness in his voice that is reserved for when I'm having a stressful day. I just cry harder and harder.

"I wish I had a sister."

"What?" Did I say that out loud? I didn't mean to, I mean, I do wish I had a sister along with Sora but…

"Sometimes I wish I had an older sister. Or at least that mom was good mother." I try to subdue my tears and stop my word vomit, but I can't. They both just keep pouring out of me.

"Where is all this coming from?" he asks, his voice strained.

"Sora, I know that you do the best you can. And I really love you for all that you do and I wouldn't change you for anyone in the world. But sometimes I wish you had been born a girl. Because there's something going on in my life right now, and I need an older woman, who's been through stuff like this, who's similar to me, so they can tell me what to do, and give me advice.

"And I can't ask you for advice because you wouldn't know what it's like to be in love with a boy and for him to not be in love with you back. For him to tell you no. Because you've never been in love with a boy before, and everything reminds me of him. And I feel sick and un loved and hurt and in pain and I need someone to talk to but I have no one. I only have you and you don't understand and you do great as a brother and even a dad, but I really need a mom right now." I cry, my voice breaking.

I do need a mom. My situation is terrible, and its only made more so because I don't have an older, wiser female version of me that will be able to help me through this. I always wanted a mom or a sister. Someone to tell me about what was going on when my boobs developed and they kept growing while everyone else's stopped. Or what to do and what brand is best for when I'm on my period. I still don't know how to use a tampon for Pete's sake! I needed someone to help me do my hair, or if I ever go on a date, what to do.

I don't wear makeup or use fancy lotions or wear earrings because I don't know how. I've never gotten my ears pierced or went to a hair salon or anything like that. Tatsuki's my only girlfriend and she's more of a boy than a girl. I don't know how to be a girl. I don't know how to deal with a broken heart. So I'm just underneath my bed crying, about, not only my broken heart, but also the fact that I don't know how to be a girl.

"I don't know how to be a girl. I suck at it. That's why he don't like me." I cry. I hear Sora take a deep breath. I hope I didn't hurt his feelings it's just that…he's not what I need right now.

"Hey, um…this is Sora Inoue...yes!" he leaves my room and I'm grateful and disappointed at the same time. I retreat back to my little world of misery, crying until there's no more tears left to cry.

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Sora is back. I heard him leave earlier and I assumed that he left for work. Apparently not.

"Hey Hime, I got some stuff for you," he tells me as he comes into my room, bags rattling. I don't move. I'm not crying, but that's because the dry tears were giving me a headache. "Look I got chocolate, marshmallows, chips, red bean paste, your favorite ice cream, tempura chicken and movies!"

Through my impossibly stuffy nose I smell the delicious fried chicken filling the room and my stomach roars with a fury unlike one I've ever known. I guess I can sit up for one bite.

I raised from my graves of covers, tears and snot. And I swear Sora flinches when he sees me. His eyes go wide as the smile drops from his face. He looks horrified. Why? Yeah sure, my face is a little puffy but it's not like I'm the beast from the black lagoon.

He looks as though he's trying to remember something and his face calms as he digs in the back for some tissue.

"Um…uh…Hime…you have a lot- I mean a little…stuff there on your face. You know, you might actually benefit better from a towel. A warm…hot…possibly filled with soap, towel." He places the bags on my bed and dives into my bathroom, causing a racket at he hunts for a towel. I hear the water running for a minute before he comes out and hands me the hot towel. I wipe my fact with the towel, and it feels good, but I don't want to lay underneath a towel all day…or do i?

"Great. Okay, so…" he goes off telling me once more about the food that he bought. I settle on eating everything to fill this hole in my heart that keeps growing and also to fill the hole in my stomach. We watch action packed movies that have no romance in them whatsoever. It didn't cure my heartache. But the need for a sister and/or a mother. It's no longer prominent. It's no longer necessary.

Maybe Sora isn't what I need during this crucial time that I'm becoming a woman. But he's all I got…and that's okay.

Comments, Questions, and/or Concerns?