"You have two minutes." I replied averting my eyes.
He sighed and looked down. "I don't know what's going on with me. It seems like everything's been so complicated for the longest time."
I laughed to myself a little. "My life hasn't been easy going lately either."
Guilt washed over his face but I refused to let myself become fooled by it again. "I'm sorry." He said.
"I'm sure." I replied hoping he didn't notice the little waver in my voice.
"I miss you, and how you use to help me with things, like girl problems." I looked at him then. "Molly and I, I don't know who it is but we always argue but I – I don't know what it is. Maybe it's me. I feel like I haven't enjoyed myself in such a long time."
"And what does that have to do with me?" I asked looking at him straight in the eyes, but that's when I saw it. Not that spark of the old Zander that I loved but instead with a plead in the eyes I used to know.
"Can you help me out? I don't know what to do but you always had the best advice. She's really mad right now and I want to make it right with her. I don't think I've ever messed up this badly before." That's not what I was hoping to hear, but I guess I shouldn't have expected anything less.
"Are you kidding me?" I could hear the acid dripping out of my tone. "That's what you want to say?" I couldn't help but be hurt. He looked at me confused. That only made me angrier. "You want my advice? Here it is. Wake up and realize what's right in front of you! Waiting gets tiring and I've got a life time's worth of sleep to catch up on so if you don't mind..." I got up to leave as he looked at me astonished.
"Wait- ?" I cut him off.
"Your two minutes are up." I turned my back to him but when I turned around he was already walking away.
Why are guys so stupid? Why did I have to be the one to fall for him? I knew if it were me I would never treat him and abuse his good heart the way she does, but now that heart isn't the same anymore.
I worked all week on my song and music. I told them I didn't want to work with the songwriters, although I'm sure they're great and all but writing is something that's personal to me and letting others write the song for me or help me didn't feel right, but a part of me knew it was because I always co-wrote my songs with Zander and no one else.
I couldn't stop thinking about him all week. It seemed like he was everywhere. In the music room, in the café when I tried to write there, and with him was always Molly. I finally just stayed in my room for some privacy but I still thought about him. How he came to me for advice and how things would've been different if he was with me, and I realized even though I couldn't stand him right now, a part of me would always want him to be happy, with or without me. I guess he just doesn't see me anymore, no matter what; I'd be just his use to be friend. Even if we were always the ones with the inside jokes I'm forever the person who you talk to but never date, I guess I was just a girl friend but never the girlfriend. It sucks because I know him better than anyone else; I'd do anything for him.
The day of the first eliminations came quickly and I don't know how many times I've rehearsed. I was second last to go, right after the Perfs. Everyone sounded amazing. I could feel myself getting nervous again.
The Perfs were called up and they were amazing.
I took a breath. I imagined myself sitting in my room just strumming my guitar. My phone vibrated. MusicKing texted me.
MusicKing: Good luck! You've got this. I know you'll be great and I'll be cheering you on the entire show.
I smiled at my phone. Soon my name was called and my nerves came back. I stepped on my stage with my guitar. The first person I saw was Josh Dragger. There he was in person. This just made me more nervous. I took another breath. All the judges were there lined up on a desk. I smiled at them.
"Hi there." Josh greeted.
"Hi." I replied. I probably sounded so stupid.
"What're you going to sing for us today?" he asaked.
I took a breath. "A song that I wrote this week. It's called You Belong With Me."
"I heard that you refused to work with our songwriters, why is that?"
I laughed at myself and thought for a long time about how to answer this question. "when you write a song about your own experience do you let other people sing it for you?" I asked.
He looked at me surprised. "I'm not sure I understand what you're getting at."
I looked at him right in the eyes. "When you wrote 'Life's a Climb' did you ever picture someone else singing it or was it always you who you imagined behind the mic?"
"Of course it was me. It was my experience, it wouldn't have the same emotion I felt if someone else sang it." He said matter of factly.
"It's the same idea here. If I let someone else write my song for me or even help me it wouldn't make it as personal to me anymore, I feel like it would be their song even if it was my idea, it'd be in their words and how are they to capture what I felt if they never experienced it themselves?" I took a breath not sure if they liked an answer that personal or not.
"I can see what you mean. That's very admirable." I think I saw awe in his eyes but I wasn't sure. "Please begin."
I sat down on the chair with my guitar and started strumming.
You're on the phone with your girlfriend, She's upset
She's going off about something that you said
She doesnt get your humour like I do
I'm in the room, its a typical Tuesday night
I'm listening to the kind of music she doesnt like
And she'll never know your story like I do
But she wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts
She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming bout the day when you wake up and find
That what you're lookin for has been here the whole time
If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along so why can't you see?
You belong with me
You belong with me
Walkin the streets with you in your worn out jeans
I cant help thinking this is how it ought to be
Laughing on the park bench thinkin to myself
Hey isnt this easy?
And you've got a smile that could light up this whole town
I havent seen it in awhile, since she brought you down
You say you find I know you better than that
Hey, Whatcha doing with a girl like that?
She wears high heels, I wear sneakers
She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming bout the day when you wake up and find
That what you're looking for has been here the whole time
If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along so why can't you see?
You belong with me
Standin by, waiting at your back door
All this time how could you not know that?
You belong with me
You belong with me
Oh I remember you driving to my house in the middle of the night
I'm the one who makes you laugh when you know you're about to cry
I know your favorite songs and you tell me about your dreams
I think I know where you belong. I think I know it's with me.
Can't you see that I'm the one who understands you?
Been here all along so why can't you see?
You belong with me
Standing by or waiting at your back door
All this time how could you not know that
You belong with me
You belong with me
Have you ever thought just maybe
You belong with me
You belong with me
No one said anything and at that moment I knew I'd be voted off.
"Thank you." one of them said. I guess that was my dismissal. I walked out into the room with all the other contestants.
I must've looked disappointed because Molly took no time to bring on the insults. "What? Didn't do so well? It's alright; you already knew you'd be cut; now you're exactly where you belong." She laughed a bit at the end. I turned away and sat down by myself. I saw Zander look at me but I only glared back. Adam came running into the room with the camera crew right behind him. Were they video-taping all the performances? I put my head down embarrassed.
"This is the first week of eliminations. I have an envelope with each person who made it through the first week and will move on. In the envelope are your next week assignments and little notes written by the judges from your first performance."
I took a breath as he continued to read off the names. I looked around to see everyone anxious. Four bands were already called. I could feel the room become tenser as everyone leaned in to hear their name being called. The Perfs were called as I let out a breath and deflated. "Stevie Baskara." I looked up with surprise in my eyes. I could see Molly's horrified look as I walked up to grab my envelope. I took a breath and smiled. Adam called the last name. We said our goodbyes to those who didn't make it as they left the building.
I scanned my new competition and noticed I was the only lone singer left. This made me a little nervous but filled me with pride and excitement. I might be here alone but that doesn't mean I'm someone to mess with. I walked up to Molly. "You're right, I'm exactly where I belong." I smirked and walked away ready for my next challenge.