A Twist of Chance

by MockV

AU: Honestly, what were the odds of Uzumaki Naruto running into his only surviving relatives in the middle of the marketplace? Slim to none, right? Too bad the odds never mattered to the luckiest and most unfortunate genin in Konoha. [Not 367 Compliant]

11. Familial Perpetuality

Chapter 11

Naruto had always believed that if there was a gigantic announcement like, for example, admitting that he was the container of the Kyuubi, Sasuke admitting that he was naturally blond and dyed his hair, or the casual mention of the fact that his father was the Yondaime, it would bring about complete and absolute silence. As it was, there was a wet, clicking sound coming from the back of Kakashi's throat over and over, as if he was trying to get a single syllable out before his brain completely shut down but his body refused to give up so easily. Sakura looked like she'd swallowed an entire invisible watermelon, and Sasuke was, for the moment, unreadable.

Haruka and Makoto glanced at each other, and then Naruto reached for and clasped his grandmother's hand for a fortifying moment before going over to his teacher. He waved his hand in front of the man once, then twice. The jonin didn't respond, his one visible pupil contracted so far that it was completely surrounded by white. Naruto looked back at his team mates with a nervous laugh.

"Yep. He's broken. Dibs on being the new leader!"

Sasuke twitched. More appropriately, one side of his face twitched while the other fought and failed to stay stoic. The side of his mouth quirked up while one eye tried to stay shut. The dark haired boy abruptly turned his head, actually inhaling deeply enough that Naruto could hear it. The blond had no idea twelve year olds could have strokes. "The Yondaime?"

Kakashi twitched in his seat, (though, "spasmed" would've worked just as well) and Sakura seemed torn between screaming and crying. Naruto braced himself for a mixture of both.

He had to calm himself, and with a show of indifference that defied every throbbing "danger" nerve in his body and proved that he was single greatest actor in all of Konoha, shrugged. "Yeah, it was kind of a surprise for me, too, but-"

"Kind of?" Sakura bellowed. Immediately, there was a cacophony of thumps, shouts, and bangs from the floors immediately below and beside the apartment, ranging in threats from "I'll call the landlord!" to "They'll never find your body". Sakura glanced around, and Naruto saw her eyes connect immediately with Makoto and Haruka.

Naruto's mouth closed in the middle of a word he didn't realize he was saying, and he forced himself calm. "Look. I know this is a shock to you guys." Sakura's eye twitched, but the Uchiha's face seemed set back into stone. Only the subtle spasms of his finger proved him to be the shinobi equivalent of frothing at the mouth. Naruto pouted. "See, this is why I would've waited, and done it all subtle-like."

Makoto shook her head. Naruto's eyes immediately turned on him, and Sakura and Sasuke followed with him as if they were his puppets. Somehow, he greatly enjoyed that imagery. "Naruto," Makoto sighed, shaking her head softly, "you enjoyed telling them like that, didn't you?"

The blond scratched the back of his head. "Heh. You caught me." Naruto glanced up quickly and found that it was actually Sakura growling, not the entire Inuzuka clan.

"You... Yondaime.. Makoto..." She froze in the middle of her own sentence. "Would you just explain exactly what's going on?!"

Her shouts gained another chorus of threats, this time escalating into "Walls won't stop my wrath!" and "Aren't ninja supposed to be QUIET?".

Naruto glanced at the walls, then the floor, then at Sakura, who had bolted upwards to stand on her chair, chest heaving while one fist was raised in the most sincere promise of pain Naruto had seen in many, many hours. He turned to his grandmother first. "Uh, if we can't keep this down - and I kinda think that's a given at this point - we probably should move somewhere else. There's the fountain place from yesterday - that's not too far away." The blond glanced back at Sasuke and Sakura, his gaze drifting slowly across Haruka, who nodded, and Makoto, who sighed.

"We'll explain everything to the best of our abilities," Makoto started, standing up nervously and bowing slightly. "I only hope that you'll understand that this isn't a joke. My daughter and I are neither involved in nor are intending any deception. Family," she spoke, and Naruto saw the Queen in here again, "is too important to ever lie about."

"Kakashi-sensei," Naruto began, glancing at the prone man, who even now was stuttering (or, well, having a stroke), "I meant what I said earlier about trusting me." He paused, and all the evil, horrible things that Sasuke had ever done flashed before his eyes. The dark haired boys darkened towards him as if he'd been glowing with a bright, neon sign that said "revenge". "You know, when you read that note and thought my grandmother was a hooker?"

"...You what?" Makoto reeled on her heel, turning on Sasuke in a split second, while Haruka's head whipped around, first to glance at her mother, than to glance at Sasuke, whose eyes were darting towards the window in much the same manner as a man starving would look at a bowl of ramen. "A hooker! Uchiha Sasuke! Who put notions like that into your head?!"

Three hands rose and pointed automatically. Kakashi seemed to twitch in response, but he'd been doing an awful lot of that lately.

Makoto frowned, and Naruto had the feeling that, had Kakashi been completely there, he would've been long gone by now through the windows, the doors, or even through a hole in the ceiling (as a properly powerful ninja could put a hole through anything.) "Hatake-san, you and I will have words after this is done." She frowned again, and when Sasuke realized that she was frowning at him, he seemed to get wide eyed. She placed her hands on her hips. "Do your parents know what Kakashi is teaching you? I do believe that I'll have a word or two with your mother, and together we can-"

The absolute silence in the room made her pause, and Naruto realized that Sakura was watching him. Well, Sakura's head was jerking between Sasuke and Naruto, with the occasional last peek at Makoto. Sasuke himself sat nearly as still has Kakashi had moments before, the pure, unadulterated battle aura seeping out of him even making Naruto's non-shinobi relatives freeze in a nod to the rather useful instinct of not going near the angry shinobi. Outside, dogs barked and cats yowled, and Naruto though he saw the overhead lights flicker. Sasuke's fists curled in his lap.

Naruto shrugged. "I told her about you guys last night and this morning. But, well, "that" wasn't nearly as important as the rest of what I told her."

Sasuke seemed to pause, though there still seemed to be a familiar sort of fury beneath his skin. Naruto decided that he would need to choose his words very carefully so that a huge, angst-filled battle didn't erupt in his apartment. He had a feeling that, if it actually did, he wouldn't just need to buy a new table (as, for shinobi, those were almost always the first things to go, second only to doors), but he'd need to find a new place to live. Mentally, he decided that he needed to review his lease to see just how many ninja battles his insurance covered in a year. "What," Sasuke began, "could be more important than that?"

"Geez. Well, I told her about the whole tree-walking thing, and about how you got buried during the bell test. I told her about how nerdy that collar of yours makes you look - do you even have a neck? - and I told her about the way that you pretend to hate ramen." Naruto rolled his shoulders, flexing his fingers in front of him, then placing them behind his head. The fact that he did so had nothing to do with the stash of kunai and shuriken in his hood. "Mainly, I just explained that you're a bastard. It's not like "that" really matters."

There had to be no oxygen in the room, because suddenly Sakura looked like she couldn't breathe, and there was no sound.

"If I could ask...?" Makoto led, her tone respectful. She had already been standing, but she moved to kneel beside Sasuke. "What are you talking about? If I offended you, I apologize for my transgre-"

"My parents are dead. My aunts and uncles. My cousins, some so far and distant from me that I didn't know their names, and only realized their presence when they all died before me."

"O-oh." Makoto reeled back. Naruto carefully positioned himself so that he was standing off to the side between his grandmother and the bastard, who looked neither pissed nor bitter, which proved that Sasuke was either being just as careful with his words as Naruto was, or he was so full of rage that emotions didn't even filter through his thoughts. Makoto glanced back up at Naruto, who hung his head.

"Hell, I didn't tell you because honestly, it's not like it crosses my mind very often. I mean, I knew you, bastard, are an orphan and junk, but the fact of the matter is that, well, that's just part of who you are. So, I just glossed over that and told Grandma about who you really are. A bastard." He paused. "Plus, it gave me a bunch more time to talk about Sakura-chan." He glanced over at the kunoichi, who glanced over Sasuke's side to meet his gaze. She had to feel Sasuke's anger - it left a buzzing in the air like locusts, and somehow all his senses were attuned to it - but she didn't look worried. Instead, her features were morphing into concern, and her eyes were connected to Makoto.

"My family," Makoto whispered, her voice gaining volume and conviction at a glacial rate, "died. All of them. My sisters. My brothers. My small cousins and my nephews. My grandmother, my own parents." Naruto felt something inside of him die, and whatever it was left a hollow crater inside of him that felt cold. Makoto's shoulders shook, and he could barely see her tears over the tilt of her head and the way the bangs fell into her face.

"No!" Naruto interjected, and only Sakura's eyes found his. "Don't cry, Makoto! Just don't, okay? If it makes you cry, you shouldn't ever talk about it. I don't want that." Everyone ignored him, and it led Naruto to wonder if he'd actually spoken at all.

Haruka leaned across the table, her whole body reaching until one hand reached far enough over that Makoto clasped onto it reflexively, like a drowning man would a rope. Sasuke and Makoto were locked with each other, and the kyuubi-vessel couldn't exactly say in what. They weren't doing battle - it wouldn't be a "battle" even if they were fighting. It would be called a "massacre" instead - and they weren't even quite watching each other. Makoto's eyes were glued to the hands that laid flat on her knees, while Sasuke, glared through her and past her, into places unknown.

Naruto decided that they were locked in sympathy.

"First, it was plague. It took my grandmother, but she was so old that we didn't know it wasn't of natural causes. My strong little nephews died, one after the other, and before we had time to bury them, their graceful sisters followed. My oldest sister died of a broken heart. My oldest brothers, as soon as word of my grandmother's death came, returned home from their missions and their camps, and ...and... we couldn't warn them in time!" Makoto cried, and Naruto decided that if any neighbor decided to pound on the walls or shout, he would kill them all in their beds.

There wasn't a sound from any of the surrounding apartments, and the dead quiet from the apartment leaked out the windows until even the locusts couldn't be heard.

"I truly am sorry I brought up bad memories, Uchiha Sasuke. But," she paused, and the moment stretched on far past Naruto's life-span, until he was born again and the moment still hadn't ended, "I know. I know what it's like to be... to be..."

Haruka shifted, falling on the table until her feet no longer touched the floor on the other side. Naruto realized in the most distant, cynical part of his mind (he called it "Sasuke") that she looked mildly ridiculous spread out as she was. But, the blond saw the way Makoto nearly crushed her daughter's hand, and the way that Haruka used her other hand not as a balance but as a blanket over Makoto's own, and he knew that he'd never seen a single act more beautiful.

He felt completely and utterly useless as Makoto used her fingers to wipe away tears that Naruto never wanted to see again. She shook her head, her blonde hair flying, and her other hand reached out.

For a moment, Naruto had no clue what was going on. While that in itself wasn't an unfamiliar feeling, the fact that, seconds later, he did realize what was going to happen sent him for a loop.

Makoto's hand touched Sasuke's shoulder.

The second thing Naruto was surprised about was the fact that Sasuke didn't flinch. The first thing that Naruto was surprised about was the fact that no one had died. The only times that Naruto ever touched Sasuke usually involved anger or illness one his part or Sasuke's. In battle, 'someone' (usually named Naruto) was touched by the other, usually with fists, feet, or the occasional full on head-butt. Naruto had willingly held Sasuke at one point, but he figured that one didn't count because he thought Sasuke was dying at the time, and the dark-haired boy seemed as if he didn't remember it anyway. The only other times that Naruto had touched Sasuke involved vomiting, pain, and life long nightmares.

The next thing that amazed Naruto was the fact that he wasn't jealous. There was need in his grandmother's actions, and he wasn't sure what had to be done, or for who, but the fact remained that he would be an intruder if he moved a single inch instead of just an observer. It was curiosity that beat out his jealousy. He was sure that it was inside of him somewhere, beating against the sides of whatever body part he'd squished it into, but the possibility that Makoto could speak a single word about her family triumphed against everything else in his mind.

All in all, Naruto was incredibly surprised that nothing happened when his grandmother's hand rested on the Uchiha's shoulder for a moment, except for the fact that all eyes were latched onto it. Everyone's gaze was wrapped in knots and twisted around as that same hand snaked around the back of Sasuke's neck, and pulled him forward.

Makoto was still kneeling on the floor, and Sasuke had been sitting. Gravity finished what Makoto began, and the dark haired boy flailed into Makoto, one hand catching and rattling the table to keep from completely falling onto the older woman. The other hand hovered in mid air, and Naruto thought for a moment that Sasuke was using it as a balance, but that was only until he saw the way it shook. It kept drifting towards Makoto's hair, then pulling itself away as if magnetically repulsed, looping through those actions as it echoed the very indecision that seemed to rock through Sasuke's entire being.

Naruto wondered just when it was that he knew how Sasuke was feeling. He tried, for a moment, to put himself in Sasuke's, or hell, even his grandmother's place. What would it be like to find someone else who knew what he had been going for all his life? He stopped for a moment, his thoughts slogging through doggedly despite the fact that the tracks headed off road into uncharted territory.

What would it be like if someone had understood him when he was a child? What would have changed if there was another child with a Fox in them?

He tried to picture it in his mind - two children, playing together, laughing, and going home at the end of the day somewhere warm and safe. Somehow, the edges of even his fantasy seemed false. The children - he wasn't sure if he'd even pictured himself as one of them - were blurry, like a badly developed photograph caught mid snap of a shot.

Naruto was snapped out of his reverie by the sound of Makoto's sleeves sliding against the bag of Sasuke's shirt. His ears - the fox's - caught the sound of fingers running through hair, and he was only fairly sure they were only Makoto's.

Haruka had slid back across the table, and Naruto believed she must've been a ninja in a previous life because none of the dishes or silverware had clattered. Well, that he'd noticed. Sakura was frozen, her expression part way between righteous anger (probably that someone else had actually touched "Sasuke-kun"), and complete and utter shock.

Her expression matched nicely with their sensei's, whose lips were still seen moving underneath his mask, though the clicking noise had reduced itself until it was only one audible stutter in five.

Sakura finally made a small noise, and when all eyes turned towards her, coughed and straightened in her seat. Naruto had never in his life wanted to kiss her so badly because it gave Makoto the time she needed to dry the rest of her eyes and stand up, and it allowed Sasuke to quickly untangle himself from Makoto and shuffle back onto his chair.

"So", she continued, "just in case, does anyone here know what to do when someone's having a stroke? Because I'm pretty sure that Kakashi-sensei's at least halfway through one." Her added murmur was likely only meant for herself, but it was loud enough that the fox could hear "Thank god Sasuke didn't hug her back, or else I'd be having one right now, too." That, Naruto decided, sounded like complete and utter jealously.

One visible eyelid twitched in response, his silver eyebrow quirking for a moment.

"Well," Naruto waved with one hand, "if he's halfway through it, it's not like it's going to hurt anything to let him go the rest of the way."

Makoto glanced at Haruka, who caught Sakura's eye, who stared at Sasuke. Sasuke scoffed. "Idiot. It doesn't work like that. He might get brain damage."

There was a pause.

"...so, are there any other symptoms aside from brain damage? He's already so weird that I don't think I could tell."

Makoto placed one finger on her lips. "I believe he's gone into shock. Now, how did you fix that?" She thought for a moment more while Naruto watched, then glided over to Kakashi, pulling back the flowing sleeve of her tunic with one hand. "I'm not sure if I should apologize for this, Hatake-san." She quirked her head, and Naruto saw her smirk. "But, I truly believe you need it."

There was the sound of a long, resounding slap.

Sakura sweat dropped. "I think that you're supposed to do that when a person is hysterical, not in shock."

Naruto realized that Makoto hadn't been talking about the shock when she'd said Kakashi had needed it. He desperately, urgently wanted to laugh until he vomited.

The Kyuubi-vessel swore that Sakura was pouting when she'd said that, and understood. "Well, just in case you're wrong, Sakura-chan, why don't you slap him? Then, Haruka can try, and then I guess Sasuke and me could take turns."

Sasuke seemed to raise an eyebrow, but it could've just been a trick of the light as he flipped his bangs. "Just why do you have a death wish? I'm surprised that your grandmother survived." As Naruto blinked, he sighed heavily and continued. "She did just slap a jonin." He paused. "I think Kakashi really is having a stroke."

Naruto shrugged. "Eh, not much we can do about it. Anyway, should I lead you guys to the fountain and explain things there, or do you want to have a couple gos at Kakashi before we leave?"

Sakura rubbed her chin thoughtfully.

"The ring, Naruto." Naruto nearly jumped five feet in the air (only reaching just under four feet and eight inches) when Kakashi's voice spoke up. He slowly creaked his neck around to find the jonin completely unruffled, looking as solemn as the blond had ever seen his teacher. If Kakashi's composure had seemed angry in the afternoon, it now was tinted with something like wonder, as if something he'd overlooked all his life had just slammed into his face. In a way, Naruto realized, it probably had.

The blonde really knew very little about his teacher's past. He knew that his teacher became genin, chuunin, and jonin at horrifyingly early ages. He knew that his teacher was a very good jonin even if he wasn't the best of teachers, as he'd been listed in several bingo books. Even the "teacher" bit came into question just this afternoon when Naruto realized that Kakashi had been testing Sakura - and by proxy, the whole team - in stealth. Naruto wondered just what other lessons they'd completely missed so far.

Aside from all that, Naruto only knew that Kakashi once had a family in Konoha, as the Hatake's were on a section of the Yondaime's map. The blond didn't, however, know what happened to either the compound or the other Hatakes who once had to fill it. He knew that his teacher was a pervert, and until recently, the idea that he was chronically late was set in just as much stone. Naruto knew nothing about Kakashi, but in general, if a shinobi didn't talk about their pasts, you were better off not knowing about it in the first place.

Naruto couldn't help but wonder, however, just why Kakashi had looked so shocked when he'd arrived in his new clothing today, or why the sight of the Yondaime's ring sent him into a fit. Even more puzzling was the fact that his behavior - well, his "heart attack" - had started with just names. Rin and Obito.

After puzzling it out for a few moments (which could've actually lasted for minutes), Naruto decided that if his Pop was even half as charismatic as his grandmother was, he probably led a huge number of teams on an obscene number of missions before he became Hokage. It would stand to reason that Kakashi would be paired on the same team as his father once in a blue moon, and Naruto knew that if he met someone like his father, his grandmother, or even his grandfather, he probably wouldn't be allowed to forget it, even if the memory did fade over time.

When Naruto didn't move, the jonin gingerly took Naruto's arm, almost as if he thought it would tear off or rip apart, turning the hand until the signet of the ring dominated all light in the room. Kakashi traced the spiral designs with his eye, and then with his finger, and then with the flesh of his thumb.

Naruto realized exactly why Kakashi had looked amazed when he'd seen the ring's glint. He remembered the Sandaime's words as a child, warning him that his fingers would be burned off if he touched his ring. Naruto wondered exactly how much he didn't know about seals, jutsu, or even basic ninjutsu, because while he never heard of an object being tied through blood, it seemed to be the only thing that made sense.

"I always thought," Kakashi murmured, and if he hadn't pulled Naruto close to where he was sitting, the blond would've had to use the fox to hear it, "that it was you."

Kakashi abruptly let go of Naruto's hand, and the kyuubi-vessel pulled it back slowly, rubbing his hand at the knuckles and holding it close to his chest. Kakashi-sensei was glancing at him, and there was something in the older man's eye - something that almost seemed hungry, as if he were being devoured inch by inch and wouldn't realize it until the tips of his toes were taken.

The silver-haired man gazed at the thumb where he'd pressed so hard against the signet that the marks remained. "Naruto, for a moment, give that ring to Makoto." The jonin's head jerked up, and the expression on his face was so carefully neutral - devoid of hope, condemnation, and of and any true expression except for the natural form of the teacher (Naruto dubbed it the "Do this now, or else" expression after having seen it on Iruka's face hundreds and hundreds of times).

Naruto knew that Makoto was his grandmother. She was Arashi's mother. If he was correct about the whole "Bloodline no Jutsu" thing being placed on the Hokage's ring, there was really nothing for anyone to worry about.

It didn't stop the brief flash of fear that he got when he imagined Makoto failing for whatever reason. Perhaps the jutsu only worked for descendants,or perhaps it was somehow linked to chakra and if it was put onto a civilian, they'd explode from the overload.

Naruto raised an eyebrow and caught Makoto's gaze. Silently, he tugged off the ring (it seemed to get caught at the knuckle, and he felt that he pulled the top part of his finger off along with the ring), carefully holding it with two fingers.

The instant that Makoto's index finger brushed the silver band, Kakashi's eyes were riveted on her, though it would take a ninja to truly spot the same rapt, devouring gaze that Naruto had felt.

Suddenly, Naruto found it extremely, horribly creepy that any guy was looking at his grandmother that way - as if he wanted to eat her - let alone his teacher. For a moment, the kyuubi-vessel realized that the only thing worse than Kakashi hitting on Haruka would be Kakashi hitting on Makoto.

Makoto turned her finger in the light. "It's a bit bulky for me," she began, and slid the ring off her finger easily. "I don't think I could ever get used to that much weight on my hands." She pulled out Naruto's hand and gently slid the ring on his Index finger.

Kakashi was standing, and the ease with which he did so was so apparent that Naruto wondered if he'd ever really sat down at all. Perhaps he'd just been using a jutsu to appear like he was sitting down, in case of the strange ninja invasion or the like. Kakashi seemed to glance one last time between Makoto and Haruka, and then from Naruto to a strange point in the wall that the boy realized blocked the face of the Yondaime.

"Well, I'm convinced." He didn't need to open up his vest because, quite suddenly, Icha Icha Paradise was there. Naruto quickly realized that it was less likely that Kakashi ever put it away than it was that Kakashi merely used a jutsu to pretend that he had. "Sasuke, Sakura," he started, nodding at each of them, "Treat Naruto's grandmother nicely. Naruto," he stated, and his voice took on a stern, lecturing tone, "You'll have to work twice as hard if anyone ever finds out that you're the Yondaime's child."

Kakashi seemed to lick his finger to turn the next page, but as his mouth was still covered it was hard to tell if he'd actually done so, or more puzzlingly, how. "That," he began after stretching out his dramatic pause, "is exactly why you shouldn't tell anyone."

Sakura burst out. "What? He's seriously the Yondaime's son? But, the Yondaime was brave and noble! He was a hero of the War of the Rock! Everyone in Konoha remembers how reserved and thoughtful he was! How could Naruto be his son?"

Kakashi scratched his chin. "Aah. Well, my sensei was brave. To a fault, actually. I'm not sure who you actually heard it from, but reserved? Heh. He might've tried to act like it, but for a shinobi, he really couldn't keep a lie with a straight face."

There was a great and horrible pause.

"Kakashi, you enjoyed telling them like that, didn't you?"

The silver haired man's only response was to smirk, his eye turning up. "Well, it's a night full of revelations. I just decided that, well, because Naruto's already announced his parentage, Makoto and Sasuke shared a warm, fuzzy moment together," (Naruto paused and tried to associate Sasuke with "warm" and "fuzzy". He failed.) "we could all reveal a little something about ourselves. Sakura, would you care to tell everyone about your secret, burning passion for Sasuke?"

The pink haired kunoichi immediately went red from the skin showing through her sandals to the very top of her forehead. Her hands immediately went to her cheeks.

Naruto stretched his arms behind his head again. "Sensei, that's not a secret! I mean, it's a mistake, because honestly, who could love a brooding, cold, angsty bastard like that?"

Sasuke glared. Naruto would've died if he were even slightly less of a shinobi.

"Well," Makoto interupted, instantly drawing Naruto's attention and stopping whatever witty retort Sasuke was planning. "I'm glad that this was all settled without bloodshed." She paused. "I can honestly say that it's much better than I thought of a village of ninja."

Sakura seemed to blink. "You mean, there are people who think we solve all our arguments in battles and violence? Makoto, it would take someone incredibly brutish to resort to physical vio- Why are you all staring at me like that?"

"No reason." Sasuke, Naruto, and Kakashi turned around, the dark haired boy looking at a small corner of the ceiling which light did not reach, the blond staring a small patch of corner where three lamps intersected, and their teacher not pretending to do anything glancing at Sakura with an incredulous raise of an eyebrow.

"Oh, you guys are all jerks." She stopped. "Except for you, Sasuke-kun."

Haruka turned to the kunoichi, and Naruto could tell that she was calmer than before because she actually was using her hands to speak for herself again. "It's not that we've actually heard many stories about Shinobi, Sakura-san. Honestly, we don't hear many stories about shinobi at all."

"Which is probably why hidden villages have survived as long as they have." All eyes darted towards Kakashi, except for Sasuke's, whose ears perked in response. "We live in an age of wireless radio and electricity. In their own ways, both of these could become weapons against us in exactly the same way as a jutsu. By carefully regulating the knowledge of our missions and our village, we prevent our technology from becoming commonplace." The silver haired man's finger was actually wagging, and Naruto realized with nothing short of awe that Kakashi was actually teaching them.

"Generators in this village are powered with timely bursts of lightning-jutsu, while demolitions include Doton and large amounts of explosive notes, which are made by ninja. We don't sell our services or our products to outside villages without strict supervision because these are just as important to keep hidden as our own village. Now, I wouldn't say that we specifically strive to keep the outside world uneducated. We welcome outsiders to come to our village to learn. However, if, for example, a pair of refugees from a far off nation were to come into Kohona to be educated about us and our technologies, they would be initiated as a part of Kohona."

Makoto sucked her bottom lip, and she nodded. "We won't be able to leave, will we?"

Haruka turned to her mother. "Why would we? Our home, our village, both are gone. The caravan has broken up, Kichiro is..." for a moment, she trailed off, and then her head lifted, "there is no one for us, Mother, who is not here already."

A warmth spread through Naruto, and he felt a silly sort of grin slid onto his face. He was aware of Sakura staring at him, but he ignored it in favor of Makoto and Haruka.

A moment passed. Then another.

"Wait a second!" Naruto shouted. "Sensei, your sensei was my old man? Why the hell didn't you tell me this earlier?"

There weren't thumps on the walls. However, there was the sound of multiple shuriken impacting the windows (specifically reinforced for that reason), a small explosive note, and the sound of one of the tripwires outside Naruto's window being triggered.

"Er. Yeah. Park would be a great idea right now." He glanced to his grandmother. "Do either of you want a ride?"

Haruka grinned.

---

"...So, my Arashi, darling that he was, picked up her entire birthday cake and threw it on her face.." She shook her head with a sigh. "Of course, Toppu just had to be standing right behind her, and he got absolutely covered in it. Of course, so did the walls, the floor, and parts of the ceiling." She stopped. "I honestly don't know how he managed that."

Haruka snickered, turning her body so that she faced her mother. "I remember that! I stopped crying immediately because honestly, you can't really cry when you have a mouth full of sugar, and he looked just as ridiculous with that nose on."

"But, that was nothing compared to the way Toppu looked covered in pink icing, with your cute little unicorn on his cheek." Makoto covered her mouth with her hand, her grin peaking out the sides despite her best efforts. "God, every time I looked at him for the next week, I couldn't help but laugh. I still can't decide if I want to praise Arashi or smack him for giving you those permenant markers and not telling me about it."

Haruka turned to Sasuke, who was sitting between her and Makoto, looking for all the world like he was surrounded by eighteen-foot tall one-eyed ogres who feasted on the flesh of dark-haired brooders. "This was one of the rare occassions that my father and my brother were both home. I can't decide whether it happened so rarely because of their schedules, their relationship, or the fact that the universe itself knew for a fact that whenever the two of them met, it would only end in complete and utter chaos."

Naruto interupted, holding up two fingers while the other hand quickly moved across the page of his notebook. He scribbled one last line, circled it, and then glanced at Haruka again. "I thought you said that Toppu didn't think my Pop was a good ninja. Something about being so clumsy he'd fall on his own sword."

Kakashi snickered, and when all eyes turned to him, the silver-haired man quickly bent over his book again, leaning against his tree as if he were completely absorbed in the world of perversion. Privately, Naruto decided that he'd long ago been lost to the strange, dark, and twisted world of perverts and lechers, and he just made periodic trips up to get new books and to torture poor, innocent children.

"Anyway," Naruto continued, keeping one eye on his sensei, "If my Pop and Toppu met up, how could he miss the fact that Arashi was an awesome ninja and stuff?"

Makoto turned her head into one hand. "Well, it's rather complicated. Toppu claimed that Arashi would fall on his sword because honestly, I simply think he wanted it to be true. He always read all of Arashi's letters, and though he never sent any of his own, I know that he only wanted to believe that Arashi was safe." She stopped and shook her head. "I'm explaining this badly. Toppu and Arashi were so alike that they couldn't stand to be together for a long period of time. But, that only started after they began being apart. After Arashi turned five, Toppu started taking his longer missions, and Arashi and I were left alone longer and longer. There has to be something strange in Arashi turning into someone he wasn't around, but it was almost as if Toppu was there the whole time, teaching Arashi exactly how they could annoy each other."

"I think that the greatest regret in Toppu's life was the fact that he let Arashi become a ninja." Makoto sighed, slowly releasing her fist. She smoothed out her shirt with one hand, anxiously. "I was neutral about it. The ninja who recruited Arashi was so persuasive about how good it would be for Arashi - the chance to make friends his own age, the chance to truly develop his mind and his skills, and the fact that, with proper instruction, all of his gifts would help those around him - that I couldn't say no to him."

She shook her head. "Toppu turned the recruiter away three times before Arashi finally kicked him in the shin and threatened to leave in the middle of the night. Toppu was still stubborn, and we finally found Arashi in the next village three days later. After that, Toppu personally escorted him to Konohagakure." She a half smile on her face that slowly fell away.

"I can't help but wonder," she began, the pace of her words slow and careful, "if it was a mistake."

Sakura shook her head. "But, the Yondaime was so important to Konoha! He helped build hospitals and orphanages! He was responsible for the Widow's Act and the stipulations in the Fund Distribution contract." She twisted her head around, clearly feeling Naruto's intense gaze. "Oh, I did some research on him before I entered the academy." She blushed, and Naruto couldn't help but wonder why. "I had a kind of..." she trailed off, and her eyes caught Naruto's for a split second before she turned her head away so quickly Naruto thought it would fly off into the fountain, "Well, it doesn't matter what I fel- I mean, "thought" about the Yondaime." She coughed.

"Anyway, without the Yondaime, Konoha would be a worse place." She stopped. "You really can't say that about just anyone, you know. Widows, orphans, and injured ninja would be even worse off than they were before." Sakura tried to smile, and Naruto thought that she meant it to be encouraging. "He saved so many lives that the idea of him being anything but a ninja is ...impossible."

Haruka and Makoto glanced at each other for a moment, their unspoken communication bypassing Naruto completely. Haruka nodded her head, and Makoto sighed, glancing first towards Naruto, and then to Sakura, and behind her, Kakashi. "You say that he was a good ninja, and that because of him the world is a better place. Toppu loved Arashi, and I can't truly put into words how deeply he felt it, just as he couldn't even dream of doing so. Toppu might've known even before I did that Arashi, simply by being alive, made the world easier to be in. But, Toppu believed, like you, Arashi would save lives, that he would change them until they were happy and healthy again. He just wanted his son to be a doctor, a writer, a scientist, or a teacher. Not once did I hear my husband say he wanted his son to follow in his footsteps. Toppu never wanted his son to be a warrior. He wanted his son to be alive to see the better world he created with his own hands."

Makoto breathed in sharply, and Naruto remembered to do the same.

"Kakashi-san," Makoto began, her voice suddenly proud, the crane of her neck regal and commanding, "How did my son die?"

Somehow, Naruto resisted whiplash. He didn't twist his neck to watch Kakashi. He didn't lick his lips. Honestly, he didn't move, and later he would've mistaken himself for dead if it weren't for his even, steady breathing. He considered that a grand improvement from all the other times he'd been shocked and horrified lately.

Naruto noticed Sakura and Sasuke look at each other (though, that involved a badly disguised "Help me" plea from where Sasuke sat sandwiched between the two women) before glancing at Kakashi, who had drawn down his book. The silver-haired man caught Naruto's eyes, and the blond wished for all the world that he knew what Kakashi's gaze was trying to say.

"Naruto said yesterday that the Yondaime - that is, Arashi-kun - died defending this village. But, what I don't understand is what could've caused the leader of a village to sacrifice his life. Aside from that, this isn't just a village, but a village of ninja. What would possibly cause..."

She trailed off because Kakashi stepped away from the tree, towards the fountain where they were all gathered.

"They called it the Kyuubi no Kitsune. The Legendary Nine Tailed Fox." His footsteps were silent, but Naruto heard them thud in his ears. "No one quite knows where it came from, and no one knows why it targeted Konoha. But, it came to us as if it were driven by ...I can't say fury, because everyone who was there knows that fury is a human emotion, and it wasn't human."

"You were there, sensei?" Sakura asked, leaning forward eagerly in a way that made Naruto's stomach churn.

Kakashi nodded. "I acted as a messenger between our scattered offensive lines. No one knew what to do, so everyone seemed to want to lead. The Fourth was..." He shook his head. "No. You need to hear the whole story."

Naruto was suddenly glad that he was sitting on a short, petrified tree stump across from his family because he knew that if he were even a foot closer to them, they'd hear his heartbeat, they'd feel the heat radiating off him as if he were on fire. He decided quickly he would prefer being on fire to being there, listen to Kakashi's even, level tone.

He knew the silver haired man was talking about the thing inside of him. The monster who was part of him. Every word had the potential to explode because suddenly, it seemed that there were a thousand tripwires twisted between him and Makoto, and between his team mates and him.

Every careless action, every battle where he'd used too much chakra to still walk afterwards and still gotten up (which, of course, referred to all of his battles), every glance that any villager ever gave him in their presence - Hell, even the fact that he'd told both groups about the assassins and the near-universal hatred towards him - probably already sparked something in their minds.

His eyes gravitated towards Sakura first. He realized that she'd been watching him all along. Even before this conversation, even before the dinner with Makoto. Something - his outfit, his hair, his actions - made her figure something out, and even if she hadn't yet, Naruto knew from experience that a girl that smart wouldn't stop until she knew it all.

"Three days. It took three days to make Konoha crumble. No defense we could assemble could stop it, and no offense we could pose would do anything but make it angry. The Kyuubi wasn't a villain. A creature of that power, of that much evil, could only be called a natural disaster. A force of god."

Kakashi ran one hand through his hair, and Naruto wanted Kakashi to feel just as flustered as he did, so that perhaps the man would choose his words carefully, or stop in the middle of a sentence and never, ever start up again.

"Our civilians were stowed safely in our bunkers and our tunnels, but that didn't change the fact that with a careful step, the Kyuubi could make the mountain crumble around them and kill them all. Our strategy was to try to lure the Kyuubi away from Konoha, because even if we saved all the children and civilians, it wouldn't help if there wasn't a Konoha for them to return to."

Sasuke and Sakura were rapt in attention. Sakura was practically licking her lips at the new information, and she obviously had a thousand questions dancing on her tongue. Sasuke's "rapt attention" meant that he wasn't feigning disinterest, and his eyes actually connected with his teacher's.

Naruto hated his eyes so very, very much because they turned on their own to Makoto and Haruka. He was almost relieved to see the confusion on Haruka's face, because confusion meant that she wasn't angry at him. Her confusion was sweet and he practically cried when he saw the same on Makoto's face.

She turned to him, and he couldn't look away in time, because looking away might mean he'd miss every last moment she wasn't hating him.

"If it weren't for the Fourth, there would be no Konoha today. I can't say that I know precisely what he did, as he used one of the many powers in his possession to draw the Kyuubi deep into the thick, old woods outside the village, away from everyone who would have followed him. Which," Kakashi stopped with a wry laugh, "Was all of us. He went alone into the woods, and did not return."

Naruto could see the shadows stretching before him - darker than the night sky and darker than the small patch of forest around them all. Brushing his back were old trees - trees so old that the forest had sprung out around them, trees so old and gnarled that they had faces twisted in the bark. These were trees with histories.

There were trees in Konoha where, after fifty years worth of children had climbed its limbs and swung from rope swings on it's branches, it gained a friendly, welcoming personality. The tall trees outside of Konoha's gates had become foreboding over the years, and the gnarled tree covered in ribbons and bells maintained a strange atmosphere that made Naruto always step quietly and smooth down his hair. These were all trees with souls.

He was surrounded by them now and the history that they had seen seemed like it was written on their bark. He could smell the acrid smoke of gunpowder mixing with the ashes of the dead as they burned, and the familiar smell of wood smoke that seemed to cement the fact that Konoha was burning. Hanging in the air like a fog was unspent chakra. He'd never felt anything like it before, but it was as if the shinobi were cut down in the middle of a jutsu, and the jutsu never left.

It was a memory, and it wasn't his.

He tried desperately to stay himself the only way he knew how, his hands clenching on his legs so hard that he knew they'd leave bruises for at least an hour from the effort. His teeth clenched so hard that he thought they'd all shatter, and he decided that he'd prefer that pain - pain that he knew was from his body, from his own teeth and his own stupidity, to the small, aching pinpricks he felt in legs that weren't his own. He tried to summon all his chakra, but he realized that it was tied in with the Kyuubi's when it was too late to undo.

Kakashi continued, but the scene he set was completely different from how it played in Naruto's mind.

Konoha was tiny. It was almost insignificant except for how it stood out from the forest and cleaved nature in two. There was a mountain nearby, and though he could tell every individual stone in it, what faces were on it were insignificant because they were human. A thousand screams and cries mingled in his ears so quickly and so faintly that it was like a high pitched ringing that made his tails flail.

Around his legs, something that Naruto could only call ants swarmed, and their stings ached. Naruto realized at that moment that Kakashi was wrong. He was completely right, but he was entirely off the mark when it came to the essence of it.

The Kyuubi wasn't human. That was correct. However, it felt, and you didn't need to be human for that It was millennia old, older than even the oldest trees in Konoha. If trees could gain souls - could gain memories and histories and personalities - then the Kyuubi had advanced above them, gaining something that humans couldn't begin to comprehend.

It felt like everything.

It was impossible to describe, but even in his memory (Naruto desperately latched onto the fact that it was "their" memory, because even if it meant that he and the Kyuubi were sharing it, it meant that at least HE was there with the Kyuubi, which was something he couldn't help but forget when presented with the Kyuubi's view of it.) Naruto knew that there was fury in the Kyuubi's actions. But, it didn't care about Konoha. It didn't care about the pinpricks and the flashes of light that heated his fur. It didn't care about the giant toad that refused to bow to him (Naruto briefly wondered where the hell that came from, and if foxes could actually hallucinate).

It was revenge. It was fury. It was anger. It was a need, and a weight, and a pressure all at once that left heavy on the Kyuubi's shoulders, and it felt like it was crushing Naruto whole.

In spite of all of that, in spite of the fact that the Kyuubi's senses were so sharp that it could hear through the solid mountain to the individual stones that clicked and clattered down forgotten, hidden caverns never touched by man, it was a child.

Naruto's head ached through his teeth (which he realized were still clamped down so far that his cheeks ached) to the flesh behind his ears. It hurt trying to understand the Kyuubi as physically as if there was a shuriken inside of his brain that was trying to get out the hard way (which was actually probably the only way a shuriken knew how). The Kyuubi was millennia old, and it had bore witness to everything that led to the rise of ninja. It had seen empires rise and fall. It had sank continents into the sea, and had made mountains rise so high with it's footfalls that even he couldn't scale them.

It was frightening to think of the fact that the Kyuubi, millennia old, last witness to a thousand cities and histories and societies, was nothing more than a child.

There had never been anyone for Naruto to play with on rainy days. On sunny days, he would go into the woods and explore, or go into the playground and watch the children around him, an act which usually ended in trailing one of them to their homes and their families. But it was never more evident that he was alone than on rainy days when the crack above his bed leaked and the sound of rain pelting the window muted everything else, even the sobs he never, ever cried.

It was impossible for Naruto to sit still. He was energy in flesh, he was movement bound by bones, and even chains would rattle out of the ground because he wouldn't stop fidgeting. Naturally, the days when he'd be confined in his apartment were torture.

Within hours, he'd flick through every book propping up every table and cabinet in the house. His kunai would be polished spotlessly (well, half of them), and his refrigerator would be emptied before the light in it could turn off. This had resulted in disastrous cooking sessions such as "Fried Sugar Water", "Ramen-wrapped Ramen", and "Burnt Jell-o", the last of these being something that he was still moderately proud of.

The heart of the matter was that Naruto had gotten bored of every single one of those things, and after there was nothing new to try, he'd get angry. As a child, he couldn't help but wonder about his life - about why people hated him, about why all the other children had parents, about how all the other people around him never seemed to have to worry about creepy people in masks staring through their windows, or about people following him down alleys in the late hours of the night. There were never any answers, which led to frustration, which led to kicking his closet door, which eventually escalated into the fact that that door had been replaced five times before he turned nine.

The Sandaime had inspected the damage after the last request, personally wandering around the apartment, glancing at the crack in the ceiling, the dented furniture and the occasional crater in the wall. He had forced Naruto to fix all of them himself, and for years, Naruto couldn't help but wonder why.

Except, now that he looked back on it, he was less inclined to head-butt the wall because of the fact that the plaster he used to fix it clung to his clothes and stank horribly. It was hard to find replacement tables, and it was even harder to find dressers that had shinobi-grade locks on them. The Sandaime "persuaded" the landlord to fix the roof above Naruto's apartment, but he'd also shown Naruto how to cover the crack with plaster and paint from inside of the apartment.

Old Man Sarutobi had shown Naruto exactly why (needless) violence caused more problems than it was really worth. But, there was no one to tell the Kyuubi that lesson.

Somehow, Naruto could feel that there were others. Maybe there weren't actually others like him, but there were others like the Kyuubi. It was like being in a large, dark room, bumping into furniture and continually slamming toes and elbows into walls. You never saw anyone else in it, and you never felt anything but cold, but the sound of someone laughing themselves sick at you proved someone else was there.

The Kyuubi was an angry, lonely, energetic being of limitless potential and power, bound into the navel of an equally angry, lonely, energetic human boy with slightly less potential and power.

It was a wonder Naruto hadn't torn himself in two by now trying to be everything at once. At least Naruto had the option of going somewhere, of breaking something, of seeing other people even if he were never, ever allowed to be by them. The Kyuubi no Kitsune was caged, jailed by Naruto's father for something that, for all sides, was really for their own good.

Konoha would've crumbled because even after the ninja led the fox away from the city, a child's curiosity would've wondered "Why?", or perhaps it would have been guided by that foreign, nameless need inside of the Kyuubi inside of Naruto's mind. Either way, a beast as large as the fox couldn't help but stumble into buildings and against the mountain in much the same way that someone in a movie theatre couldn't help but knee the people in the next two rows when they were trying to get out The entire city would've turned to ashes and rubble, and the people who were left would swarm out. The Kyuubi wouldn't have hunted down the individual shinobi after the city was destroyed because, like kicking over an ant hill, one shinobi blended into the next, and all that was left was a black tide washing over the ground.

But, the shinobi here posed no challenge. If the revenge-thirst-hunger inside of the Kyuubi hadn't been satisfied that day (Naruto had to inhale sharply when he realized that it still wasn't, and it just sat inside of the Kyuubi - inside of HIM - waiting to twist the two of them in knots), he might've moved on to the next Hidden village.

It made Naruto freeze completely in such a way that his fingertips actually felt cold. He swore he saw his breath puff out in short bursts as the thought pounced on him from behind and rammed his mind into the metaphorical brick wall.

Naruto hadn't ever heard of the Kyuubi attacking a civilian town.

The Land of Fire was among the largest kingdoms on the continent. Konoha was hidden somewhere close to the center (as the exact location wasn't known to even the wisest shinobi or the most important civilians, and both were guided by either experience or heavily armed ninja escorts), and the Kyuubi had to come from somewhere.

That in itself hurt Naruto's brain - where did the Kyuubi (and the others who were like him) come from? The fact of that matter was that even if the Kyuubi fell from the sky somehow, it didn't fall directly on Konohagakure. Then again, Naruto pondered, one of his hands twisting itself in the strap of his courier's bag, the shinobi of this village should have been able to spot the Kyuubi if it really was that big. Especially if it caused earthquakes and tsunamis with every swish of it's fluffy tails. (Naruto know he'd pay for the "fluffy" remark. He didn't know how, and he didn't know when, but he knew that somehow, the Kyuubi would make it happen.) Casualties would've have been so bad if the shinobi had spotted the Kyuubi, but that was assuming that it came from across the land.

What truly made Naruto's brain knock against the front of his skull was the fact that, on all the C missions that he'd taken with his team over the last few months, he'd never seen "Kyuubi Canyon", or "The Mountain That Used to Look Like an Old Man Until the Kyuubi", or even "Kyuubi no Kitsune flood-planes". There weren't any gigantic craters in the middle of the forest, and Naruto had explored Konoha in all directions for about three days running.

The fact of the matter was that even if the Kyuubi did fall out of the sky, Konoha ninja were (supposed to be) good enough to spot something that big blocking out the sun. Because Naruto hadn't heard about any forewarning to the attack (though, he'd need to research it), it proved that the Kyuubi came - quickly - from the surrounding areas (assumably on the ground).

The Land of Fire wasn't a small country, nor was Konohagakure a small village. Most people wouldn't have thought of it, but a village as impressively large and functioning as Konoha required food, and this was not food that the Akimichi's plantation alone could provide, as most of that was providing for the family itself. There were, of course, small peasant run farms scattered alone the small roads pocketed through Konoha, governed under the watchful eye of whichever local lord was actually paying attention.

Because of the fact that these small farms gave up most of their goods to the Lords that were supposed to protect and guide them (to their credit, some of them actually did), this meant that Konohagakure received most of it's food from not just other nearby villages, but other countries as well.

Cloth was imported from the Land of the Mist, while metal was plentiful in the mountains of the Land of the Rock. There was still debate over it, but many were convinced that the war with the Rock was less about the assassination of one of Konoha's chuunin teams in enemy territory and more about the accessibility of resources in that same area.

What this all added up to was the fact that the Kyuubi should have passed through and destroyed one of the many, many civilian villages, farms, or towns that surrounded the Hidden Village of the Leaf. Instead, it was Konohagakure itself which received the full force of the Kyuubi's wrath.

And wrath it was.

Naruto realized at that moment that he was the single unluckiest bastard in all of history because there was no way he could blame anyone for his life

He'd already forgiven the villagers for all the crap they'd pulled on him and it seemed like a real Sasuke-esque thing to go back to hating them again. He couldn't hate his father, not just because there seemed to be something elementally wrong with that, but because the Yondaime was doing what was best for his village (and Naruto briefly wondered with a twisting in his belly if his father was thinking of him when he died). The Kyuubi itself might've suffered a fate even worse than being sealed in a newborn if he'd gone on to ransack other Hidden villages, but truthfully, the Kyuubi was like the universe's wisest, snarkiest, most powerful four year old with an anger management problem, and it seemed like even MORE of something Sasuke would do to blame a pre-schooler for all his problems.

Naruto forced his ear back to Kakashi's story, rather happy that the fox let him do so without comment (as the fox talking to him would've been the cherry on the day's "crazy" cake) and he wondered briefly if he'd been listening to anything his teacher had said even with half a mind, and if any part of that "half a mind" could be formed into a bunshin later so he could find out what was said.

He gathered something about how the Yondaime seemed to disappear for a few hours. No one saw a trace of him until shortly after nightfall on the third day of the Kyuubi's rampage. For a moment, Sakura pursed her lips. "If there was this battle for the village," she began, "why wasn't he fighting all the time?"

"Me." All heads jerked to Naruto except for Kakashi, who nodded solemnly. "I was being born." He paused. "At least, that's what I kinda want to think about. He was probably researching the fox or something, but-"

"No, he was there," Makoto said firmly. "When I was in labor with Haruka - 72 hours of it - Toppu found some way to cross through three different Lands to make it back to cut her umbilical cord. Arashi would've climbed through a thousand layers of hell to be there when you were born, Naruto. I'm sure of it."

It might've been small, and it might've been sickly, but a part of Naruto saw the Yondaime and the unknown, faceless, much loved mother he never knew together one last time, and a smile tugged at his lips. "Yeah. That would be nice. To know that I met him once, you know?"

"I guess," Sakura whispered, "there's no arguing how important it was for him to be away for those hours then."

Sasuke seemed to snort, but there was actually a .1 percent chance that it was a sniffle. Naruto decided to believe that Sasuke was just being a complete ass rather than human, because one of those options was not like the others, and would involve alien replacement, alternate dimensions, and voodoo hypnotism to be plausible.

"So," Makoto began, "he finally met his fox."

Haruka snorted. "Go figure. After all these years, he meets the only evil one. That seems like him. He always was the world's luckiest fool. But, when his luck did run out, it followed the pattern set by every one of Arashi's actions, and went out spectacularly."

Sakura glanced at Naruto, who shook his head and shrugged. Inside, he was desperately failing at trying to figure out the "only evil one" part of the sentence.

Kakashi glanced towards the two women with a lazy eye. "I believe there's a story there. Explain?" It was only a half-hearted attempt at making it sound like a request, but Makoto nodded, and Naruto decided to halve the pain Kakashi would be in when the blond got through with him.

"Well," she began with a slight blush tinging her cheeks, "You might have noticed already that I enjoy telling stories." Naruto wasn't the only one to nod enthusiastically. "My children and," she blushed further, "most of the children of my village and the others around it have heard my folk-tales. These were stories passed through word of mouth from my mother, from my grandmother, and from her mother before her, up until before anyone can remember. The kitsune," she stated firmly, "was just one of the creatures I have stories of. There's the kappa, which was a favorite of Haruka, the tanuki, who Toppu seemed to like," Haruka snorted, and Naruto resisted a laugh as he heard "More like 'The tanuki, who Toppu resembled...'", "and various others. Truthfully, it was probably only after he requested stories of kitsune for three weeks worth of bedtimes that I realized that all of his pranks were emulating the kitsune."

She received blank stares.

"You've never heard of the stories of foxes?"

Sakura mutely shook her head. "I've never heard of any story about the Kyuubi - well, the kitsune - that anyone would want to emulate." She trailed off. "The Yondaime?" she pressed.

Naruto felt pulled in ten directions. Part of him wanted to rush to the Hokage's monument and have a long, angry stare down with his father, part of him wanted to run away from his team and never show his face again because Sakura's face still showed signs of painful, creeping enlightenment, and part of him desperately needed to sit completely still so that Makoto would continue speaking about why his father emulated a KITSUNE.

Kakashi, Naruto was stunned to note, didn't stop her from continuing on. He did note, however, that the older man's interest wasn't focused at all on the book in front of him.

"Hm. Where to start? First off, if Konoha's kitsune - the Kyuubi - exists, I wonder if that means that there are others, and that all the stories are true." She shook her head. "Well, I'm not sure how much truth there really are to these, then, but I've heard from my grandmother that, like my Arashi and my dear Naruto here, that kitsune love to pull pranks. There are stories of some of these pranks turning out badly, and some pranks performed with ill intent, but I've heard few stories of a fox actually being evil. I believe some villages see them as minor deities, or at the very least, signs of good luck."

Naruto twitched for a moment. His brain poured out his right ear as he tried to imagine the Fox being worshipped as a God. Despite how incredibly tempting the idea of being worshipped as a deity was, there was the fact that the Demon was as much a God as Sasuke was a pretty little pirate. There was no debating the pirate part of it, and it was exactly the same way with the fox.

"I told my Arashi about the pranks they pulled on priests, and how catching their orbs - I believe they were called "Hoshi no Tama". Star balls - was to make them owe you a great debt."

Naruto decided that he would release the seal of the Kyuubi himself and let the fox gut his teacher if Kakashi-sensei let out so much as a snort.

Makoto glanced around. "I don't suppose any of you know what "Kitsune" means, do you?"

Sasuke raised his eyebrow in an act he probably practiced in front of a mirror for an hour every night. "Fox".

Makoto seemed to frown, but instead she sighed and shook her head, wagging one finger in admonishment. "Yes, but there the word "kitsune" has to come from somewhere." She was obviously in complete story teller mode now, and Naruto knew from experience that even if the Sandaime ordered an impromptu beach party for all of Konoha at the fountain they were gathered around, he wouldn't be able to turn away.

"They say that, long ago, there was a man named "Ono". He was neither handsome nor rich, but he had a kind heart and a warm smile. As he increased in age, he soon realized that he was wanting of a wife. "Oh," " Makoto spoke, her voice shifting to one of despair, ""If I had been a rich man, I could have one the heart of a noble lady. If I had been handsome, I could've found someone to spend the rest of my lonely days with. Instead, I am a kind man, and I am alone but for the company of my faithful dog." "

Even Sasuke wasn't trying to hide his interest in the story. Naruto wondered exactly how many bedtime stories he'd heard, even before the whole "Orphan" thing. Sakura was rapt, and Kakashi almost seemed to nod, though Naruto couldn't ever explain why.

"As he was walking along a lonely road," Makoto continued, "he saw a maiden with skin as pale as the moon and hair as dark as the shadows cast by the noonday sun, clad in a beautiful kimono, glancing at him with a warm smile. "I am not a rich woman, and my beauty cannot compare to the warmth of your smile, but I would spend the rest of my lonely nights with you, if you so desire.""

"Many remarked on the odd pairing the two made. Countless suitors tried to woo her away from Ono, but each one could not bear to break apart the two lovers once they witness the two together. Now," Makoto stated, her hands speaking for her just as much as her words did. Naruto could see exactly where Haruka got that trait from. "As Ono's love was with his child, his hound was with pup herself. The woman pleaded with her husband to send the dog away, but the kind hearted man could not bear to send his longtime companion out into the cold in her condition."

"On the day his wife went into labor with their first son, his dog had her pup, who began growling at the wife while still slick from the womb. Each day as the pup grew, the woman became more and more withdrawn until the day finally came where the pup attacked. Startled," she intoned, making Naruto jump, "she changed, her beautiful skin turning into fur the color of the moon, and her beautiful hair bleaching and shifting into split tails. She dashed over the fence, her fox form revealed to her love, but as she ran off, Ono called back to her."

There was a fond smile on Haruka's face. Makoto leaned forward, her eyes closed and her voice becoming soft.

""You may be a fox," Ono called after her, "but you are the mother of my son and I love you. Come back when you please; you will always be welcome."

So every evening she stole back and slept in his arms." (1)

Makoto opened her eyes with a dreamy expression on her face. "Kitsune can be taken as kitsu-ne, which is "come and sleep", but I prefer the other meaning. "Ki-tsune". It means "Always comes"."

If Kakashi dared to laugh, Naruto decided that releasing the fox on him would be far too lenient compared to what he deserved. If Naruto had to wait a thousand years until he came up with a punishment that truly fit Kakashi's crime it would still be completely worth it.

Amazingly, Sakura was the only one to shift her posture, and she did so by leaning forward, one hand propping up her chin. "I wonder why we were never told any of these "good" legends of foxes. I've heard of tanuki and kappa before-"

"I haven't!" Naruto frowned. Makoto glanced over to him with wide eyes.

"Really?" She paused. "I'll fix that. Have you ever had a bedtime story?"

While the blond quickly shook his head, Sasuke snorted, which validated Naruto's previous thought. "A Bedtime story, Uzumaki? How childish."

Makoto pursed her lips and glared at Sasuke in a strong, firm manner that made Naruto decide to devote the rest of his life to never, ever getting that same look set upon him. The Uchiha attempted to glare at her in return, but the slow cross of her arms across her chest forced him to turn away his head in what Naruto decided was complete and utter shame and embarrassment.

Naruto desperately wanted a camera.

"Childish it might be, but everyone deserves to be a child at least once in their lives." Naruto felt Makoto's gaze fall on him, and he tried to devote fifteen parts of his brain to memorizing this moment. Despite the fact that she knew about kitsune (in general, luckily), knew about how his father died, and had just touched the tip of the iceberg on teenage ninja trauma in Konohagakure, all was well. She didn't know the full story behind his life, and so, she didn't hate him.

He didn't actively plan on ever, ever telling either his family or his team about the Kyuubi, but somehow, he knew that the divine spirits above really, really hated him. Recent events proved that fate, destiny, karma, or whatever foul plot he was embroiled in since before birth wouldn't let him have more than a moment's peace. It was a struggle to keep anything in his life secret and, despite his best efforts over the past few days, his only success had been not spilling about his family to the Sandaime and not actually uttering the sentence "I am the vessel for the Kyuubi" at the top of his lungs from the highest part of the Nidaime's pointy nose.

Makoto pouted, and Naruto wondered in a quick panic just exactly how long he'd been "memorizing that moment".

"I can't believe they let twelve year olds become ninja." She shook her head. "I can't believe they start training ninja at eight." She sighed again, and eased herself down onto the fountain again. Naruto heard several of her joints creak, and winced. Her age wasn't something he either needed to remember, or think about in great detail. "Thank goodness for those bed wetting requirements, or else I wouldn't have had Arashi for any time at all."

The fountain bubbled merrily, Haruka snorted, and there was the unified sound of four ninja blinking, which sounded with the same heavy thud as the last of an avalanche cascading down a mountain.

"Bed," Kakashi started, deadpan.

"Wetting?" Sakura asked, her voice having no short amount of horror in it.

"Requirements?" Sasuke intoned. His eyebrow was raised.

Naruto sat in unfeigned, untamable horror. It felt once and for all like all the hope and respect he had within him collapsed into a super-heated, miniscule dot in the center of his stomach. It wasn't gone entirely, but it would take nothing less than a complete and undeniable miracle to ever make it expand again.

"Oh yes," Makoto continued on, proving once and for all that even beautiful, intelligent, funny, and loving women were still women, and thus essentially made of pure evil. "The recruiter - goodness, I wish I could remember his name - came by for a number of years. Luckily - for me, anyway - though they may recruit at a young age, they prefer to have their ninja capable of performing long away missions. My Arashi had to wait a few years until that problem went awa- Naruto, are you alright? You look quite pale."

"I think I want to die." He murmured.

Kakashi was a hard person to read. Because about ninety percent of his body was covered in either spandex, cloth, or bands of weaponry, his reactions could be discerned through the rare vocal emission, the occasional unavoidable physical twitch, and the oddly expressive motions of his one visible eye. Naruto had thought that he'd seen all of these reactions in the short span of less than an hour (though, he had to glance at his watch to realize that his team and his family had been sitting at this fountain for quite a few number of hours, and wondered how Makoto could possibly talk for that long and not get completely bored). He now knew better.

To say that Kakashi was horrified was only telling half the story. To say that he was doubled over in hysterical, near maniacal laughter wasn't describing his actions to their full justice. To say that all three genin (and Haruka) backed away from the very dangerous, unstable man was unnecessary, as all beings with any notion of sense did the same, including a few beings that were not supposed to have any sense, including three rocks that seemed to shuffle away from Kakashi, and the odd tree that seemed to shake despite there being no breeze.

Kakashi was crying. He'd muffle his oddly high pitched giggles, for a few moments and would attempt to straighten up and cover his eye, before squealing and being forced to crouch again. By the end of it, he was moaning almost as if he were in pain.

Makoto frowned. "It's not nice to make fun of him like that, Kakashi. It happens to a lot of boys his age. I'm sure that you-"

All three genin froze in tandem. They glanced at each other with a horror that did not need a name and did not need words. It was a horror that quickly grasped their hearts, their lungs, and the small parts of their brains that contained their survival instincts.

"Sensei," Sakura whispered.

It was the only word the three of them exchanged, and before Kakashi could even finish giving Makoto a look of complete and utter horror that almost matched Naruto's from moments before, the three genin burst into something like laughter.

Rather, Naruto rolled on the ground, clutching his sides in a desperate struggle not to keep his ribs from breaking, Sakura cackled in what couldn't be described as anything other than complete and utter glee, and Sasuke turned his head to one side, disguising what couldn't anything other than giggles as coughs behind one hand.

"Midnight training session." Kakashi growled, suddenly standing, suddenly between all three, and suddenly projecting an Aura of Doom (tm) that poisoned a mile radius. "Now."

Naruto rose to his feet in less time than it took for him to stop laughing, which further doomed him as, when he glanced into Kakashi's glinting, narrowed eye, a few stray giggles eked out of his mouth. "Hmph- I mean, Se-sensei," and his line was interrupted by a badly muted line of snorts, "I have a mission tomorrow. H-hokage's orders."

The blond knew that Kakashi had dogs as summons. He couldn't help but wonder exactly how much time Kakashi spent with those dogs because, with every squeal, squeak, and sputter from Sakura and Sasuke, his expression darkened to the point that he was growling in a manner that even Naruto could translate was "Get out of my Pack. Now."

"What kind of a mission?" Kakashi ventured. He snapped his book shut suddenly, and Naruto would've preferred the crack of a whip instead. The whip promised much less pain than the book did.

"I don't really know the details, actually," Naruto began, scratching the back of his head, "But, he told me that it's something that only I could do, and you're not invited to it, Sasuke."

The Uchiha stopped "laughing".

"Anyway, I'm just supposed to show up at this one address tomorrow." He followed the unspoken command and fished out the number, which was only folded in half three times, shoved in the corner of his bag, and covered in five different colors of lint. He passed it to Kakashi.

While Kakashi stared at the paper for much longer of a time than he actually needed to read it, Naruto realized that he was dealing with silence much better in the last few days (and he marveled at the fact that it had only been about two days for him, and not the three months it really seemed to last) than ever before in his life. He truly, sincerely wished that he didn't need to.

"I see," Kakashi nodded. His tone was somewhere between complete mockery and complete glee. "Well, I won't keep you from your mission. Sakura. Sasuke." He called out quickly. The two genin jumped to their feet, somewhere between a ready stance (in Sasuke's stance) and a "I wonder if I can hide how much I'm laughing" stance, in Sakura's. "Five laps around Konoha. Now."

Sakura moaned and Sasuke let out a snort of protest, but both followed the point of Kakashi's finger, breaking into a swift run.

"Naruto." The sweet, kindly way that Kakashi said his name informed Naruto in no short terms that he was completely and utterly boned, and just hadn't figured out why yet, though the answer was going to come up early in the morning. "I see that you have prior engagements that perform valuable services to Konohagakure as a whole." Kakashi was completely and utterly lying, and was laying it on thick just to spite the genin. "Therefore, I cannot in good conscience take you away from your duties while remaining true to the values of..." he trailed off, scratching at one eyebrow. "You know what? I actually feel bad for you."

Naruto was completely and utterly doomed.

"You can do your laps on another day. Now, which day is it that you have ramen with Iruka-san? Oh, you don't need to tell me, I'll find out from him myself. But, I'm sure that he'll completely understand how you have to perform ten laps around Konoha - as, of course, there's always a penalty for lateness, something my sensei taught me - instead of having dinner with him." Behind Kakashi's mask couldn't be anything other than fangs and a forked tongue. "Training is," and Kakashi actually seemed to smirk under his mask, "oh, whenever my hair appointment finishes tomorrow."

For a moment, Naruto actually liked his sensei, as the older man gave him another quick nod and private smirk. This fondness was quickly caught, beaten, and tied to a stake as the jonin scratched at his cheek in apparent ease.

"Aah. About that favor I owed you?" Kakashi started, and the pit of Naruto's stomach fell out as he realized horrible, horrible truths, "Well, I suppose I can learn about this foreign "Kazama Arashi" fellow. Goodness, I wonder if any of his students are still around? Well, perhaps I can look them up, though it always takes several months of find anything, even when you're a jonin. Why, if only there was a better filing system for shinobi information!" Naruto's tongue flopped around in his mouth while Kakashi sighed in mock exasperation and shook his head. "But, since you'll be busy preparing for tomorrow's mission, Naruto, I suppose I'll have to be the one to remind Sakura and Sasuke to look up information on these strange "Obito" and "Rin" personalities."

The silver-haired man paused. "I have to say I'm rather proud of you, Naruto. Why, instead of making Sasuke lose to you in a pre-planned, staged fight in the middle of the town's center square, or having Sakura kiss you in front of the Hokage's tower, you chose instead to ask for aide in scholarly pursuits. It takes a special kind of-"

The rest of Kakashi's speech couldn't be heard over Naruto's screams of utter and complete anguish.

---

So, not dead! Hopefully, this chapter is reason enough for all of you to resist killing me. I was lazy about it for one week (as I got a new computer and World of Warcraft), and then got the nasty revelation that I can no longer write this at work. I had been writing between three and seven K there, so you can tell that this is going to change things. Plus, I'm still trying to work timing out with my beta, IEatChicken. If you want to hurt someone, start with her, because she still hasn't updated a fic I'm in love with, "Even Perverts Deserve a Second Chance".

Anyway, there were some good questions raised in reviews lately. There aren't any romantic pairings in this fic in any chapter in the near future. So far, all my romantic pairings have at least one of the members dead, so I don't need to worry about that. Besides, I'd like to feel confident that I can write the characters before I attempt the tricky process of writing characters in love.

The last chapter was pretty much 30 pages to the dot, though my A/N counted as about half a page. I doubt that any chapter will ever, ever be that large again. At least, I really, really hope so.

Also, I know that the latest chapters of Naruto have revealed a lot of things. I want you to know that I'm ignoring all of them. Frankly, I would rather live in blissful ignorance of what's been going on in canon because most fanfiction has better twists and better characterization than what's been going on in the manga. So, Yondaime is Kazama Arashi. It's pretty much the basis of the fic, and it'd be really troublesome to go back and edit this story all to hell. So, I'm channeling my Inner Nara and saying "No".

(1). The last few lines of Makoto's "Kitsune" story were quoted from Wikipedia's entry on (wait for it) "Kitsune". I either made up or paraphrased the rest of that part, but frankly, if I knew a hundred languages I couldn't find a more beautiful way to phrase those lines. So hopefully this counts as enough credit.

But! The usual! I can't believe all the reviews I've gotten, and I really appreciate all your advice. I still want to slap myself for the "Kohona/Konoha" error that was kindly pointed out to me. Special thanks for that. But, I hope you find some lines in this chapter that you like, and I hope that you enjoyed reading this. Thanks!