New Galactic Solutions

by keiman and kei

For the very first time ever, Gallifrey and the 3WA have a liaison officer. Subaltern Allison V Prydonia is a youngish (130) time lady and the youngest Councilor. This tale tells of her very first combined 3WA/Gallifreyan mission aboard her new 'flagship' and her new TARDIS. This will be the final 'rift in time' sequel which began so many yrs back w/ 'Xmas w/ the Dirty Pair.

11. Ch10'Pirates' Haven'Khan Wants Heaven'

NEW GALACTIC SOLUTIONS

Chapter 10 'Pirates' Haven' or 'Khan Wants Heaven'

DISCLAIMER: It looks like I have been elected spokesperson this time around, my friends. I'm Kagome Higurashi from Terra but it's so confusing that I'm no longer certain whether I'm from the 20th, 21st, 14th or 15th Centuries! One thing I am sure of is that I'm in the 23rd now and I will never get to return to my home world ever again.

That's OK because all of my friends and relatives are here with me and soon we'll all be 'blazing a trail' to quote Ranger Walker who is also stuck here with us. What he refers to is that we'll be colonizing a new world called 'Victorine' but if you've been following our adventures, this you already know, right?

Anyway we wanna thank Mr Takachiho and all the other great creators whose works, characters, scenes, places, weapons, etc. we have used or may use in the future and we hope that they or anyone else who uses our own creations now or in the future will extend us the same courtesy. What I mean is you can use any of our stuff without fear of reprisals.

Huh? Me? You're sure, Shippou? OK, if she said so, I will. Seems that Commander Huntley has chosen me to be first up as narrator this time around do without further ado, here is Chapter 10.

When we left ya last time, a sonourous voice we all knew only too well had just boomed out that the pesky space pirate, Khan, was up to his old tricks and that he, Lord Rassilon of Gallifrey, had to speak with Mr Garner immediately!

"Young woman, did you not hear me? Get on the horn or whatever you call it and get Chief Garner at once! This is quite serious indeed! That is an order you know?" he boomed out and I reached for the vidphone.

"Could I have Sector Code X, Subsector D please? The code is XX47635. Please scramble the transmission. Authority Asgard and I confirm Mjolnar. Captain Higurashi aboard the 'Daedalus' calling for Territorial Sector Chief Garner. Please hurry." I trilled and in a few moments, the vidscreen filled with his fatherly face.

"Yes? Ah, Miss Higurashi. So now they have you playing comm relay eh? What can I do for you, my dear child?" he trilled.

"Not me, sir. I was ordered to contact you for Lord Rassilon. Your Lordship? Mr Garner's on the wire." I replied and Lord Rassilon's bearded head floated down until it was hovering in front of the vidscreen.

"You have trouble on 'Victorine', sir and-" began the time lords' founder.

"I know all about Khan, Rassy. So if there's nothing else, I am quite busy." interrupted Uncle Chuckie.

"That is most certainly not all, sir! Do you have any idea why he is there? No? Then permit me to enlighten ye. He is seeking a pathway to 'Gendarlak', what pirates like him call Heaven! He's gotten the bright idea of getting there via a black hole!" explained the elderly time lord.

"There are no black holes anywhere near 'Victorine'!" yelled Colonel Bluesummers who had just arrived with our java and snacks. I took the trays from him and set them on our java table. We were in the Commander's digs and it was early morning.

"I did not need ye to tell me that, sonny boy! I am a time lord ye know! Khan intends to create one using 'Monshat' (The closest moon to 'Victorine' to open one! Folks, you won't like to hear this one but here goes. Somewhere the fool has managed to acquire (His voice dropped to a whisper) a 'God Gun'." said Rassilon quietly and the room exploded with noise! Mr Garner fainted and I saw Fiona MacCrimmon administering smelling salts and fanning him with the holopape!

"Did you say that idiot's got one of our own 'God Guns', Rassy?" roared out our redheaded fearless leader, Marshall Keirran O'Halloran whose face had just appeared in an inset box on the vidscreen. Mr Garner resumed his seat while Fiona fussed over his tea and crumpets.

"Where did he get it, Rassilon? I checked and none of the 'Angel' flagships are missing one. What's that, Ellerbee? OK. Thanks. Chief Ellersbee confirmed that all of our shuttles both here and on assignments still have their 'God Guns' intact so where'd Khan find one?" demanded a now fully recovered and very angry Charles Ausustus Milverton Garner.

"He did not exactly swipe a 'God Gun' per se, Charlie. Khan kidnapped one of its inventors and he plans on forcing her to build one for him and-" said Rassy.

"Her? Whom does he have and how in blazes did he get to her dammit?" howled O'Halloran.

"Dr Sarah Fremont whom you rescued from Krull many years agone. She's married to one of the 'DaVinci's gunners now. You know her better than most, my dear. Can she-" replied Rassilon.

"Stand up to the kind of torture Khan can dish out? Hell no! She whined like a kitterang when the Beast had her ass! Will she build Khan a 'God Gun'? Count on it, pal!" growled the firebrand Hellcat.

"Then we gotta get her back, dammit all!" yelled Legato Bluesummers.

"That will be easier said than done, sir. Khan has blanketed the planet with force beams that your ships cannot penetrate." said Lord Rassilon.

"But there must be some way we can get through them, isn't there, my lord?" asked Rodan.

"A tachyion particle beam assimilator ray fired point blank from 'Monshat' will open a small hole in the barrier. However, it will stay open for only six nano-seconds and will allow only a very small craft through it. A very tiny shuttlecraft." replied the head and we all looked at each other.

"Which one, my lord?" I asked boldly.

"I think I see where he's going with this. Dr Sarah also developed a miniaturization beam, didn't she, Rass?" asked Legato.

"You know that she did, Colonel. You even used it once on the 'Leonardo' shuttle. Commander? You, Rodan, Romana and some of the others won't recall this incident as it occurred many years ago. I am suggesting that you place a picked crew aboard either the 'Arthur' or the 'Grant' and then use the beam on it. I further suggest that the ship be 'cloaked' before it is reduced. As soon as you penetrate the barrier, the beam's energy will ear off and the shuttle will return to life size again.

"How you handle the rescue after that is for you to decide, not I. I will tell you this fact. Khan has a TARDIS and that was how he managed to get past 3WA security and spirit away the good doctor, her living quarters and her labouratory." explained Rassilon.

"Impossible! Even with a Type 40 or a Mark Five, the machine would still be visible!" said Romana.

"Impossible? Think again, time lady. There is one TARDIS that can 'cloak' and that is the machine Khan used." replied Rassy.

"The Master?" suggested Roddy but Romy shook her head no.

"The Rani. Of course! She's a superb scientist even if she does have a heart as black as a Plutonian night sky! Commander? We must act quickly dammit! If Sarah refuses to build a gun for Khan, they still have her schematics! The Rani is perfectly capable of constructing a 'God Gun' for Khan even without Sarah's help! Nick has already prepped the 'Grant' for immediate launch. Let's pick a crew and get a wiggle on if we want to get Sarah and Kirito back!" yelled Romana.

"Might I suggest that you take your own TARDIS to 'Monshat' as well, my dear? As soon as the away team knocks out the barrier, you can materialize around the doctor's labouratory and living quarters and transport her and Miss Kirito back to 3WA HQ in Elenore City while the away team deals with the Rani and Khan's gang. It is imperative that Khan not get his hands on a working 'God Gun' so all of your ships must stay on the alert.

"Once he loses those plans and Dr Fremont, he's sure to attempt to steal one from the 'Angel' or the 'Daedalus' or the 'Coriander'. I needn't mention what will happen should he manage to create a black hole in the cosmos using 'Victorine' as his launching pad and 'Monshat' as his target, do I?" said a grim-faced elderly time lord's floating bearded head.

"Anyone ready for tea?" asked the Hatter the next morning, teapot in hand but none of us were in any mood for tea! He clucked a little and then he sat down beside me and yawned. Next he made a suggestion.

"Why don't you pick your teams and I'll simply use my TARDIS to penetrate Khan's barriers?" he asked quietly.

We were thunderstruck to say the least!

"Weren't ya listenin' to Rassy, man? We're gonna have to go in as a miniature ship!" I yelped angrily. He smiled at me.

"My oh my. You get as excited as Mel Bush and Ace Johnston, my dear." he chortled.

"We can 'cloak' the 'Grant', Doctor." added Perpigillian Brown.

"So? Have you forgotten that I can 'hover' in 'dematerialization' mode indefinitely, Peri? We will be quite invisible to Khan and the Rani. Oh and I sort of 'borrowed' some 'invisibility togs' from the 'Verralanns' when I was the 'Little Fellow' as Jamie can attest. Right, laddie?" said #6 Doctor nonchalantly, handing Peri a cup of tea and a biscuit.

"Damnation! He's right as rain, girl! The Doctor (#2) insisted on saving those weird looking suits he swiped." agreed the big Scotsman laddie. Leila the 'Seve Team' jungle girl snapped her fingers and stood up, almost upsetting the java table.

"I remember seeing those suits in one of the store rooms, guys! It's worth a shot, Commander! What d'ya say?" she asked.

"How many of these 'invisibility suits' do you have aboard, Doctor?" asked Janey Huntley quietly. I hadn't noticed but she had apparently slipped into her bedroom and dressed while we had been arguing amongst ourselves because she was now in full uniform.

"Oh, I dunno. A few dozen, I believe. Easily more than enough for a couple of your away teams, my dear. Care for a scone? Fiona baked them herself. I nipped back home (Shimougou) early this morning and picked them up. They are quite tasty." said the Hatter. I took one and I had to agree that they were yummy.

"OK. Let's do it, gang. Mr Garner gave me carte blanche authority for this mission. Doctor, can you materialize in that dematerialization mode aboard the 'Botany Bay', Khan's ship? (He yawned again and nodded) Then I'm choosing Han and Romana as team captains. They will each select five of the crew to accompany their team, a total of an even dozen.

"Kagome will accompany the groups but she will remain with a dozen picked guards aboard the TARDIS in reserve just in case. On the way back, they can guard the prisoners you will take when you seize the 'Bay' and fly it back to Shim. That means it will need a pilot, co-pilot and a commander. Han's the pilot and Johnny Smith will be his co-pilot. Mark Gordon will be weapons officer." commanded Milady Huntley.

"Aye but who commands her, mum?" demanded Jamie MacCrimmon.

"You and Leila. Leila's a fully qualified navigator and it's high time you accepted some real responsibility, Jamie. All hands who will be going aboard the 'Bay' will wear one of those 'invisibility suits'. Is this clearly understood? Good! Roddy? You will replace Angel Johnny as my exec. That means you'll remain aboard the 'Daedalus'. Nick? Better shut down the 'Grant' and the 'Arthur'. We will not be using them after all. Han? Romy? Pick your teams and everyone be aboard the TARDIS and ready to rumble by eleven hundred hours, 11 AM for you landlubbers. OK. Move it. Move it. Move it. Dismissed!" replied Janelle and when she said jump, all we asked was 'how high'?

Han and I took turns choosing up sides until we had each chosen five. We found out later that Kaggie had grabbed the Saiyaans and Bulma as well as the demons and sorcerers. Since they were all chosen as guards, I will only list the members of my own team and Han Solo's. Oh yeah, this is Romana Caldy speaking now.

Han's Team: Leia Solo, Fllay Allster, Cagalli Yula Athna, Revy Roberts, Neko Olson.

Romana's Team: Jonathan Harlock, Jonathan Caldy, Kome Sawaguchi, Ichigo Kurosaki, Rukia Kutschski.

Most of the other Ninja Shinobi and Soul Reapers were delegated as Kagome's guard troops. A small unit to be sure but well trained fighters the lot of 'em. Of course the other 'companions' of the time lords were upset when the Hatter announced that he was taking Ace Johnston, Peri Brown and Jo Jo Grant ONLY!

"Hey! This will make a great story, dammit! Why can't I come along too?" howled our resident journalist, Sarah Jane Smith to which #6 Doctor replied that he would not have time to run around rescuing a bloody magazine reporter! I could repeat what she said but I long ago promised Lasy Valaria that I would never use words like that ever!

Sarah Jane got really mad when none of the others were willing to trade places with her and I told her she could not use my 'Ernestine' (My TARDIS) either. She made a face at me, stuck out her tongue and then locked herself in her suite. Do none of the Doctors' companions have good manners I wondered and not for the first time.

As it turned out, all went splendidly. As soon as a 'cloaked' Ichigo and Rukia stepped off the 'invisible' TARDIS and onto the aft bridge corridor of the 'Botany Bay', they literally bumped right into the Rani! Snarling like a panther demon, she fought like a wild jacaronda cat until Kome and Nekko managed to bind her with Diana Prince's 'golden lariat of truth'!

After that it was mere child's play to corral the other pirates and brigands and lock them all in the brig. The Rani was placed in the Doctor's 'zero room' within a 'time vortex hallway' for transport to Gallifrey at the end of the mission to answer to the High Council for her many many crimes against humanity and alienity.

"Lord Khan! Come quickly! Intruders!" I called out, mimicing Ming the Merciless as best as I could manage. However, it worked like a charm! The big dumbass came bounding down the aft corridor right into Revy Roberts and Jon Harlock's waiting invisible arms. Jon Caldy (My dear hubby) and Leia Solo 'snapped the darbies' on him as Inspector Lestrade would say. They were really very powerful force beam barrier cuffs and shackles. When he protested too loudly, Cagalli Athna and Fllay Allster gagged him as well.

Han fired up the boosters and then flew the 'Bay' back to the 'Daedalus' where he berthed her belowdecks. Then we went upstairs for a late luncheon, the chromos reading a quarter before 1300 or 12:45 PM. Our mission had been completed in less than two solar hours, 'jig time' as Arsene Lupin III observed when we returned so soon.

"Mum? With your kind permission, I believe that I should deliver Milady Rani to a well deserved justice back on my own home world. Never fear, Mr Peabody! I shall be back before teatime and our interrupted chess match. I really do not know why because I will 'mate' you in just four more moves. Take care everyone." said the Hatter and he departed for his home.

"I want to call my slicitor, attorney and barrister immediately! I know my rights, Doctor! I have not even had my comm relay call yet and I am entitled to one according to Galactic Law! This is a cheap frame-up, dammit! I am innocent! Do you hear me, you worm?" screamed the Rani and the Doctor covered his ears. I guess I'll turn the vidmike over to the Hatter now.

"Of course I can hear you, woman! It's a wonder that the entire galaxy hasn't heard you! We'll be touching down in the Citadel courtyard in a few minutes. After that, I'll be rid of you and so will all the Universes I hope." I said angrily and then I stomped off to materialize inside the great Council Hall.

"Well! It certainly took you long enough to get here, Uncle. Commander Zixx, take charge of the prisoner. You will find her in the 'zero room' I believe." said our very first Gallifreyan liaison officer, my niece, Brigadier Allison Victorine Prydonia. Her father, 'Old Scarfy' whom you know best as #4 Doctor, was beaming all over as a proud papa should.

"Hullo there, Doc. Mind if I hitch a ride with you back to the 'Daedalus'? I sent Edie back with the 'Leonardo' to my flagship hours ago. Aha! Your prodigal witch returns. Greetings Milady. Your cell awaits yonder. Lady Prez? You're sure that you won't recondider and allow the Federation to try this piece of garbage on 'Alderaan'? She'll have a fair trial before we execute the bitch. No? OK. I tried, Rani Honey. Ya need me or Doc here anymore? Nope? OK, Doc. Let's blow this gig. See ya Saggy." said the 3WA's 'Harridan of Horror' herself, Imperial Grand Marshall of the Galaxies Kierran Bridget Moira O'Shaughnessy O'Halloran!

I should explain that when, as 'Old Scarfy', I was elected the new Lord President which I had used only as a subterfuge to save my neck when I was accused of murdering the old Prez, I had appointed my old mentor Lord barusa in my stead. After another regeneration, however, he had had it with politics so he stepped down and the Casterlein had been chosen. He served until it was time for his next regeneration at which time he stepped down and-

"To make a long story short, the Council had been operating without a Lord President for quite a few centuries. After I had been exonerated at my bogus 'trial' which had been dreamed up by the Master and the Valeyard (My own evil self sides from my 12th and final regeneration far in my own future!), I had been invited to resume the mantle which I declined. Instead, I asked Lady Sagacity Valchron, who had acted as Inquisitor Judge at my so called 'trial', to run herself and in the meantime, I appointed her interim Lady President. At the last elections (Where for the very first time lady time lords and common females had been permitted to cast their ballots), Saggy had won by a landslide and she was now officially the Lady President of the High Council of the Time Lords of Gallifrey! Hooray! Who says the suffragette movement is dead?

"i'm waiting, Doc or do you want me to leave without ya?" screeched the redheaded firebrand Amazon Hellcat from my TARDIS's doorway. Still snarling through the gags over her pretty mouth, the Rani was fuming and no doubt promising swift and violent retribution upon her judges. If only she would use her scientific talents and her prowess in chemicals for the good of mankind and alienity instead of for evil, the Universes might at last be at peace for all of eternity.

I dropped off my passenger at the 'LA2' before continuing back home to the 'Daedalus', tea and my interrupted chess match with that obnoxious canine, Mr Peabody. As I had predicted, I 'mated' the white doggie with a pipe in just four moves. Then he joined me for tea. That was when he decided to tell me all about when he had helped Romulus and Remus to build the Terran city of Rome! Such a blowhard and a bigger liar than my old friend, Baron Von Munchausen! Now that old boy could really tell some tall tales indeed!

Tired of old Tea Party Tom now? OK. Your new narrator is Bulma Brief.

As mine was the only working time ship aboard (Ed and Winry had disassembled the Caldies' and Mr Reef's and Miss Hathaway's crafts of time and space), my hubby and brother-in-law Saiyaans, Vegeta Brief and Goku Son were assigned to accompany me and Kagome's guard troops with Khan and his playmates back to Seto Kaibo, the Federation's penal colony.

Han and his small skeleton crew were following us aboard the 'Botany Bay' and should arrive at Seto K no more than an hour after we did. Lucky duckies! They didn't have to deal with the regulations, reports and red tape having to do with Khan and his pirates and other crooks! I did! All Han had to do was simply deliver the ship and sign a vidreceipt for it which he would hand over to Janey Huntley who would forward it on to Her Nibs aboard her flagship!

It was really late when we got back home and I had berthed the 'Lady Foucault' belowdecks. Everyone aboard had complained long and loud about missing their din dins! The galleys were shut down and even the bar was closed up tighter than a 'Ginyu Acrobatic Stance'!

Oddo 'borrowed' several 'replicators' from an 'unlocked' storage room and we had to be content with repping up our own dinners. For my hubby and brother-in-law, the demons and the other 'pig squad' members, that meant between 50 and 200 servings of everything they could think of that was edible and drinkable! Where they put all of it is something the answer to which I will never know!

I checked my new wristchromo (Goku had eaten the first three) and I saw that it was close to 0300 hours (3 AM) so I decided not to report back in to Janelle or Romana until tomorrow. Instead I crawled into my bunk and tried to sleep. This was very difficult to accomplish since I was sharing the bunk with three felines and two canines as well as a frightened Rin who had just had a nightmare! I managed to drop off about the same time that Peri and Jo Grant decided to do some early morning calisthenics!

Enough was enough! I grabbed a kimono and my slippers and headed for the 'star room' and one of those big overstuffed reclining chairs. When I awakened, the wall chromo had just bonged nine times. It was 0900 or 9 AM in the morning time and I felt great! Five minutes later I was ringing Janey's klaxon on her suite.

"C'mon in, kiddo. Who's your friend?" yawned the Commander when the portal slid open and I had stepped into her huge sitting room. Ours was a Helluva lot smaller but as our superior, she got the perks, right? Anyway, Janey was pointing at the Teddy I was holding in my hand.

"Who d'ya think ya are, Radar O'Reilly from MASH 4077th?" giggled Milady Huntley and I grinned. I had unconsciously picked up Rin's Teddy bear, a birthday gift from Goku.

"Yeah, he helps me to sleep, Jan. It's Rinny's. She had a nightmare and kept me awake half of the night." I said. Then I snapped to attention and saluted her.

"Mum! Warrant Officer First Class Bulma Brief reporting back as ordered, mum! Mission accomplished and all mission members are present and accounted for, mum!" I barked out like a machine pistol.

"At ease, girl! You'll hurt your back keeping it that straight ya know. Good job and well done. Guess there's no need for a debriefing, huh? (I shook my head and smiled) Then the first order of business is to head for home. Han slipped the 'Bay' receipt under the portals last night. 'Whitey' found it and I grabbed it before he could chew it up. Oh, could you ask Nami to stop by my ready room after breakfast please? I'm gonna rep mine up here. Tell her around ten will be swell. I'd get rid of 'Teddy' before Vegeta or Goku spot ya with him. see ya, Bulma." said the Commander and I had felt pleased all over until she'd mentioned Rinny's toy bear which the kid had christened 'Sanny San' in honour of Sango the demon slayer maid who was now happily married to 'Father' Miroku the former amourous priest.

I tiptoed to my bunk and slid 'Sanny San' into the crook of Rinny's elbow as gently as I could. Then I showered and dressed and went in to breakfast. Luckily, the 'pig squad' had breakfasted hours ago so the meal was more or less peaceful. The Hatter and Mr Peabody were hotly debating the outcome of some idiotic chess match while Neko and Kome were pointing out the subtle differences betwixt Colts and Webleys, whatever the Hell they were.

At the far end of the table, Leia Solo was trying to write some sort of speech while her hubby Han kept tossing rolled up bits of bread at her. As usual, she might have been in another galaxy, having long ago mastered the fine art of 'tuning him out' of her thoughts when she had something important occupying her mind. She finally finished and snapped shut her PDO unit.

"You know there are starving people on 'Kashyyyk' who would love to have that bread, Hanswell Q Solo, don't you?" she observed quietly and then she began to gather up the 'ammunition' and toss the bits of dough down the closest 'recycler chute'. Nothing was ever wasted or not re-used aboard any Federation or 3WA vessel!

Now it's high time I turned our tale over to someone else because I want to take a nice long nap. I've been tossing and turning all night in that chair up in the 'star room', darn it! Hey Johnny Angel! You're the exec. About time you earned your keep, boyo! Your turn to be narrator. I'm bushed!

"OK. Hullo there everyone. I'm an Angel, a real one. Jonathan Smith's my handle and my best friend is Mark Gordon who just got back from a long mission as weapons officer no less. Bear with me while I attach my comm badge to my PDO recorder unit. There. Now I can talk and still have both hands free.

This is our bridge/navigations centre. Right now nobody's here because the 'Daedalus' is on 'George' which is what we call the automatic pilot. Hi there Nami. We still on course for home? Good. Home is the Academy in Eastern Shimougou. It's right outside of Furool (Foo-Lon) City and about 15 kilometres from 3WA HQ where Mr Garner has his offices. Another day or two and we should be there. Right Nami? Cool. Sorry, I've been hanging around the 'Valley Spy Girls' too long I think. Keep up the good job, Nami.

Now this is our home asway from home- the recreational room and bar. Could I please have a large Sasaparilla pop, Neko? Neko Olson is a Jill of all trades. What species is she? Hard to say really. She's part trill, part cat, part nekomata cat demon, part human, part Beta Zoid and part whatever the Mugghi are. That's all on the inside. On the outside, she looks the same as any other pretty 18 year old beauty although her real age is- OK! So I won't tell them, kiddo! Can I at least say you're older than ya look? Fine. Me? I died in 1948 or was it 1937? I did mention that I was an Angel, didn't I?

Ah! That soda pop really hit the pot, Neko. Thankee. I see two illustrious gents here playing a game of chess? No, it's 'shogo', the Japanese version of the revered game we call chess. Who's winning, guys? Sorry! Have to be very quiet when someone's playing! Mr Peabody seems to be deadlocked with Mr Hatter which is our name for #6 Doctor Time Lord. Hi there, Peri and Mel. What have you kids been up to today?

"Good morning, Jonathan. I was just showing Peri some old vidpixes of Peach Lane in Lower London where I used to live. Peri's from the States you know? Yesterday she used the holodecks to recreate Miami Beach in Terran Florida for us. The sand was warm and so was the ocean water. Excuse me a moment please. Neko? Two chocolate shakes please and a bag of crisps for each of us. Thanks. Today we're going to borrow a skysled and go for a spin around the stars." explained Melanie Bush, one of the Doctor's companions.

"No you are not. You two have baby sitting detail today. Report to Suba Roberts (Revy) after you've both changed into coveralls. Some of the kids can be very messy. Oh, you'll find Miss Roberts on Level Three in Sick Bay." said one of our lovely Time Ladies, Romana Caldy. She was resplendent in a strikingly brilliant silver and grey jumpsuit which shimmered in the light. Elvis and Liberace would have killed for that outfit!

"Golly! I hope whatever she has isn't catching, mum? I haven't had any of the childhood sicknesses except chicken pox! How about you, Peri?" asked Mel and Peri Brown grinned.

"Yup! Had 'em all, Mel. What's wrong with Suba Roberts, Cap?" replied Perpigillian Periwinkle Brown, another companion of Romana's cousin Time Lord Doctors. Romy had recently been promoted to a higher ranking but to everyone aboard, she was still 'Cap'.

"She isn't sick, kids. She had a disagreement with a recalcitrant 'replicator' and she lost. She's having her broken hand set by Dr Kelly (Brackett) and Nurse Dixie (McCall). Now scoot the pair of ya." said Romana and the two girls 'split' as Buzz Murdoch and Todd Stiles would have said. Let's mosey on over to Sick Bay ourselves, shall we?

"How many times must you be told, Rebecca? Reppers are not punching bags! Hold your hand still, dammit! Dix, is that plaster ready yet? Slap it on that hand. Stop squirming, Roberts. Nothing strenuous for a few hours at least. Back home at Rampart Emergency, I'd be prescribing bed rest and a six months' recuperation and recovery period. Up here, that broken hand will be healed before bedtime. I'll never get used to medicine in space! Finish up here for me, Dix. I have another patient in Treatment Room XJ1. I'm coming, Mike." said Colonel Dr Kelly Brackett.

"That should do it, Revy. You can flex your fingers but nothing else until bedtime. Doctor's orders and mine. What's today's duty? Babysitting? Better you than me. Hi there, kids. You got stuck too, huh? Dr Morton? He was demonstrating to a few of the ladies how to use rocket boots and a jet pack. He only fractured three ribs and broke his collarbone. He'll be fine by tomorrow." chuckled the lovely nurse from Terran California.

"Both of 'em at the same time? Christ! Even I know that you can't use a jet pack and rocket boots together!" laughed Ace Johnston. Seems that she's on babysitting detail today as well. Poor kids!

"OW! Not so rough, Kell! Those ribs are sore! Ouch! That hurt! What'd ya gimme? 'Axileine 40X with Lydocaine drip'? Yeah, my shoulders starting to feel cold and numb. Think we could 'borrow' some of this technology for when we go back home, Kell?" said Captain Dr Mike Morton, likewise from Rampart on Terra.

"Not on your Nellie, Michael Morton! This is the 23rd Century and you're from the 20th or 21st one. Mr White would have a royal fit! (Mr White was one of the two Guardians of the Universes, Mr Black being his opposite number) You can use what you like but it all stays here in this time era, guys. The Boss Lady (Keirran O'Halloran) said that Mr Galadriel will more than likely either allow you to settle down on 'Victorine' or allow you to return to ancient Terra after your memories have been wiped clean of 23rd Century know-how!" said our Commander and CO of the 'Daedalus', Julia Janelle 'Janey' Huntley who had just arrived with a howling wolf youkai.

"What's wrong with him, Jan?" asked Lt Commander Dixie McCall.

"I gots a splinter in my paw! It hurts too! Wah!" sniffled the big brave Kouga the wolf youkai demon.

"He and Dog Boy (InuYasha the big hanyou half youkai demon) were playing with Becky's crossbow and darts and Wolfie here got a splinter in his hand. Oh, stop whining, dammit! Dix, can you get it out?" asked Janey and Dix smiled.

"There. It's out. That didn't hurt now, did it?" replied Dixie after she had quickly yanked out the splinter.

"Ain't ya gonna give him a lollipop for bein' so brave, Lt?" asked Dog Boy who loved candy.

"I guess so. I suppose you want one too? Here and it's Lt Commander now, Dog Boy but since when does ranking matter around these parts, huh? Ooh! That does look like a nasty cut on your other hand, Wolfie. Better let me bandage it for ya. Janey, please toss me that gauze and tape. There. Our brave little battle-scarred veteran is all ready to go out and play. Don't go near any more crossbows without gloves, Kouga. Bye." said Miss McCall, handing each demon a lollipop which they immediately stuck in their mouths.

"Take the paper off first, guys or you'll be back in here to have Dr Joe (Early) fish it outta your throats. A darn shame that I'll never be able to tell anybody about this back home at Rampart, Dix. Nobody's gonna believe the patients we've had through here!" sighed Dr Kelly Brackett.

"Ya ain't gonna be goin' back home to your Rampart hospital, Doc. Instead, you'll be runnin' the new hospital on 'Victorine' which might make up for your bein' stuck here in the 23rd Century with us. Sorry but since you and the doctors and nurses and firefighters and paramedicals are all fictitious characters from old Terran TV, we have no means of returning any of you home. We're buildin' a nice fire hall station for Johnny, Roy, the Cap, Chet, Marco and Stokesy and both buildings will be ready before ApMay of our new year. Better start thinkin' up some names for 'em, Doc Kell. O'Halloran out."

The vidscreens blanked as quickly as they had filled with the fiery redheaded Marshall.

"Where the Hell'd she come from, Janey?" asked an astonished chief surgeon.

"I miss something, guys? Kell, your patient needs his hand held again. Say, isn't there a Mr Peabody aboard? I wonder if he'd play 'shogo' (Japanese chess) with Mike (Morton) for awhile?" asked Dr Joe Early, accepting a mug of hot java from Dixie.

"She appeared to be speaking to us from her 'ready room' office aboard her own flagship, Dr Brackett. Roberts, please ask our lil white doggie if he'd care for a game of 'shogo' with Dr Morton. After that, you are off duty until 1900 hours (7 PM) and I want you to get some rest and that's a direct order, Rebecca. Go." ordered Janey.

"Her Nibs was just on the viewer, Joe. Seems we are all in the same boat as Tom Wolfe. We 'can't go home again' according to the big Boss Lady but we're getting our very own hospital and Lt, pardon me, Captain Stanley and his guys are getting their very own fire hall station. Seems we're all being relocated to 'Victorine' in the spring." explained Dixie.

"Well, it isn't like any of us have anyone back home who will miss us, is there?" asked Joe and they had to agree that most of them were loners. Then I frowned.

"What about Lt De Soto? He's married, isn't he? And he's got two nice kids as well." I said and everyone looked like a 'Gloomy Gus', especially Nurse McCall.

"Would the 3WA or the Federation allow a family to be broken up? I fear that Joanna De Soto and her two boys are going to be quite surprised when their station wagon does not make it to Lake Arrowhead. Instead, they will be belowdecks and one of us had better do some real explaining to them! Aha! Hear that? That was an airlock opening and closing again. Our new guests have arrived." said Romana Caldy.

OK. Rio DelCroix and Fllay Allster have been sent down to greet our 'newbies' so I'm handing the vidmike over to Rio. The floor's all yours, kiddo! This is Angel Jonny signing off.

"Hi! Long time, no see or hear, gang! Say hello Fllaysie. On second thought, just keep quiet. We've been deputized to meet Miz De Soto and her kids. Wowie! Check out that ancient antique they're in, man! What's that say, Fllay? A Jeep Wagon Ear? Man, the ancients sure had some corny names for their junk, didn't they? Better get it over with, huh?" I said and we both strolled across the darkened parking berths deck to the big brown and yellow 'Wagon Ear'.

A striking blonde older lady (Man, she was 30 at least!) sat in front with a strange looking control panel in front of her. In her hand, she held a vidcellphone thingy which she closed and dropped into her enormous bag.

"Stay in the car, boys. This does not look like Arrowhead Lake at all." she said but her two kids (12 and 10) had already hopped out of the 'car' and were 'oohing and ahhing' at all of our ships and sleds and cycles. The lady got out as well and hugged a grey jacket around her slender shoulders. She was wearing a green sleeveless top and very very short pants and a pair of black 'trainers' or sneakers.

The kids were in blue 'Lake Arrowhead' tee-shirts, blue jeans and similar footgear. They sure were funny-looking and I whispered that to Fllaysie.

"Well, what d'ya think we look like to them, Rio? Don't forget that we're in uniform and we are both armed." said Fllaysie.

One of the boys walked over to me and saluted. Well, he put his right hand up to his right temple and snapped to attention which I guessed was how ancient Terrans saluted. I sighed and returned the galactic salute which is right first lifted to left breast while clicking my boot heels together.

"Take us to your leader, Alien Girl." he said and I thought that Miz Joanna was gonna faint.

"Please excuse my kids, ladies. We seem to be a little bit lost. Could you direct me to Lake Arrowhead in Enos, Oregon? Is it very far from here?" she asked me politely but before I could reply, Fllaysie answered her.

"About a thousand 'lightys', give or take a hundred thousand kilos." explained Fllaysie and now Joanna was very confused.

"She means a thousand 'light years', give or take a hundred thousand 'kilometres', Mrs De Soto." I corrected and this time the poor lady did faint!

"Better send a stretcher team down to Parking Berth Six West, Sector XXY, Berth 2357-A and make it stat. Mrs D's fainted." I said into my comm badge while Fllaysie tried to reassure the boys.

"Don't worry, kids. We hardly ever lose anybody on the 'Daedalus', ya know?" she said and the kids began to cry!

Kouga and Dog Boy arrived a few minutes later with a stretcher. Behind them were Dr Joe and Nurse Annie Rodgers. She nelt down and waved some 'amyl nitrite' (smelling salts) below Joanna's nostrils and she sat up fast.

"I guess we won't be needing that stretcher after all, guys. Unless Mrs De Soto here wants a ride in our new flying ambulance? Hi Jo. Hullo there, Tiger, Slugger. Don't worry now. Your Dad's here too and so are a lot of folks you already know. Follow us and please prepare yourselves for some more shocks, Jo. You two get that stretcher back up to 'Sick Bay' and the rest of us will go back up to 'Sick Bay' on the express lift. Leave your luggage, guys. I'll have it 'transported' to your suite upstairs. Let's go. Rio, you'd better go and find Roy and Johnny Gage and bring 'em to 'Sick Bay'." said Dr Joe Early, stepping aside for Joanna and Annie to enter the lift. The boys hopped aboard followed by Fllaysie while I ran up the gantryway stairs to the rec room where I had seen all the paramedicals and fire guys this morning.

"If this is a joke young lady, I'm gonna paddle your backside with the Doctor's cricket bat! Come on, Johnny. We'd better see what the kid's talking about." said a peeved Lt Roy De Soto. He was followed by a totally bewildered Lt John Gage.

"Daddy! We found you!" cried the two boys, practically bringing poor Roy to the deck!

"Roy? Is that really you? Where the devil are we anyway? One minute we were on the I-5 ouside of Portland (Oregon) and the next we were in some dark old garage in a basement! Now we're in some kind of hospital. It's all so confusing, Honey." said Mrs Joanna Mildred Andrews De Soto, sitting down on a gurney and accepting a cup of hot java from me.

I won't bore ya with all the explaining we had to do but at last, Joanna was convinced. The kids were overjoyed. Of course, they didn't know that they were here for keeps either! Their mom knew it though and she was quietly sniveling into her hanky. Then the huge vidscreen at the end of the room lowered and suddenly we were all looking at an artist's sketch of the new and as yet unbuilt 'colony' on 'Victorine'. Everyone marveled at the buildings and parks, grasslands, amusement parks and more that awaited our lucky 'fictional folks' in the springtime.

"I apologize to you, Mrs De Soto and your husband, children, relatives and friends but since Roy and Johnny were going to be stuck here forever, I had no choice but to have his immediate family brought here to share his exile, such as it is to be. I fear that bringing through all of your family's relatives, friends, co-workers and so forth would just be impossible, my dear lady.

"As you can see from the artist's rendering on the vidscreen that we have planned for your futures here in the 23rd Century in our Aquarian Galaxy. No expenses were spared and many risks were taken to locate and then 'EDEN-ize' a dead world for all of you 'fictionals' to reside upon for the rest of your lifetimes which will, of course, be much longer spans than they were on Terra in the 21st Century. We are shooting for mid ApMay for the first 'colonists' to start 'blazing a trail' on 'Victorine'.

"You and the children must be tired after this terrifying ordeal so we will speak of this again in a day or two when you have returned home to 'Shimougou', our home world. I see by the wall chromo that it's 1700 hours. I beg your pardon, Mrs De Soto. That means five PM which is time for dinner up here. Take care, my dear friends. Galadriel out."

The vidscreen blanked and then raised itself back up to the ceiling.

"Who was that guy?" whispered Joanna.

"God, of course. Don't you females know anything?" said our own male Chauvinist pig white doggie, Mr Peabody.

We hastened to explain that Mr Galadriel was the 'God' of the Federation and the 3WA and he was a very sweet old man.

"Did he say the 23rd Century? Shimougou? So we really are not on Earth anymore, Roy?" asked Joanna and he kissed her, all the while whispering something to her that we could not hear. It must have worked because she relaxed and then followed us to the dining room.

After dinner, Janey and Romy took Joanna, the boys, Roy, Johnny and the other firefighters up to the 'star room' where the two boys marvelled at the stars, asteroids and planets although 'Tiger' was upset because he did not recognize any of the constellations, planets or moons. 'Slugger' began to cry when he saw how far away his old home world now was from him.

I cried on my first off world voyage and so did almost everyone on the force if they told the truth. Joanna turned out to be an ace secretary so she was made an assistant yeoman with the rank of Ensign Second Class. The boys were made 'Subbies' or sub-ensigns. They were assigned janitorial duties which they at first balked at doing until they found out that our 'cleaner droids' did almost all of the real work.

Roy and his little family were assigned to their own suite of rooms although Roy was pulling a lot of night duty shifts and he was required to sleep with the fire brigade guys in their own suite almost every night. Big deal! Up here it was always the same. No sunlight and always perpetual blackness. We knew it was day or night solely by the chromos.

I must admit that Joanna really looked cool in her new uniform. She did get a mite upset when told that she was required to be armed at all times! Roy confided to us that Joanna didn't like guns. In the end, she settled for a Mark III minilaser pistol but she kept its power pack in her ammo pouch. This way she was 'armed' even though she was wearing an empty laser gun on her hip.

"Jo! Have you been here filing all night? I'm very impressed but you need your rest as well. However, I ave never ever seen the files so neat, tidy and orderly. Roy has the day off so why don't the two of you go on a picnic? Use the holodecks which can be made to look like anything you want it to resemble. Don't worry about 'Tiger' and 'Slugger' today. Gene and Han will find something to keep 'em entertained. You better go and get changed. Roy's waiting upstairs at Holodeck 3 for you." said Janey Huntley, our own CO.

"Thanks so much, Commander, I mean, Janey. Roy and I haven't been on a real picnic in years. I can't wait to see where we're going. Bye now." replied Joanna De Soto, running for the lift stations.

I found out later that Roy and Jo had a lovely picnic in a place from Terra called 'Yo-Seem-EE-Tee' Park in their American state of 'Why-Oh-Ming' and why those Terrans ever named a place after that cruel litttle dictator guy is beyond me!

The rest of the trip home was boring especially when me and Fllaysie ran through our vidpay voucher balances! We tried to borrow some UniCreds but nobody was lending! As a last resort, we went over everyone's heads and said the Hell with the chain of command!

"Hi there, Miz MacCrimmon. Remember us? Fllay Allster and Rio DelCroix? How ya been doing? How's the weather back home? Why did I call? Well, we wanted to talk to Uncle Chuckie. I mean, Chief Garner! Is he there? No, ya don't have to disturb- Good afternoon, Mr Garner. Sorry to wake ya up and all but we forgot about the time difference, sir." I said into the vidphone we were using in Miss Huntley's 'ready room' where we were not supposed to be- ever!

"Oh, that's OK. I'm up now. Thanks, Fiona. A little Skotch in my tea would be nice. Well? What did you want, Rio?" replied Mr Garner and suddenly Fllay and me had very cold feet! A mere 'Subby' and an 'Ensign' (jg) do not just call up the Territorial Sector Chief of a dozen galaxies just to chat!

"Problem with the mission? Lost? What's the problem there, dammit?" yelled our superior officer and he sounded a little irritable now.

"It's almost Kurisumasu, sir. Christmas, ya know? We were wondering if we could get a special advance on our vidpays so we can do some shopping-" I began but he cut me off in mid-sentence!

"What! You two baka morons called me over a scrambled comm relay signal line just to ask for money? Fiona! Bring me the vidpay voucher accounts for Allster and DelCroix! Thanks, my dear. You can go back to bed. I won't be needing you anymore tonight, today. Good night, Fiona.

"Now, lessee here. Hmmn. Both of you are overdrawn at the Mall (Higurashi) by several hundred UniCreds! According to 3WA records, you have both been advanced to the tune of 2,500 UCs four times! When I finish paying off Soto Higurashi for you, you will still owe us a thousand apiece! I am cutting off your Mall accounts as of now. You won't be able to access the Higurashi or Zamazon via vidcomps either.

"Furthermore, I have enrolled the pair of ya in a program called 'Shoppers Anonymous' because you have uncontrollable urges to shop and buy indiscriminately! The first meeting will be this weekend on Friday evening at 1900 hours, 7 PM our time on Eastern Shim. You will both be present at that time or you will be reduced in rankings- again!

"According to your last navigational reports, the 'Daedalus' will be arriving at the Academy on Thursday afternoon at 1400 hours, 2 PM our time here. After the debriefings, both of you will report to my office at 3WA HQ. Is that clear?" yelled Chief Garner angrily.

"Are you gonna tell Commander Huntley, sir?" we asked in unison and he frowned. Then he sighed and finished his tea.

"I really should but it's Christmastime so I'll give you two one more chance. However, a reprimand vid document will be entered into your records. We will speak of this matter again on Thursday, Tro-Cons. In future, you will not contact me save in an emergency or if you are commanded to by your superiors. Understood? Then I am returning to my bed and I suggest that you two make it an early night as well. Dismissed! Garner out." he said and then he blanked his vidscreen. I hung up and we beat a hasty retreat from the 'ready room'.

We both forgot that all signals incoming and outgoing are recorded and a copy of them sent to the Commander's PDO unit! We found that out Wednesday morning! At breakfast, Janey read the riot act to us both! Then she put us both on KP detail for the duration of the voyage and I had just manicured and tinted my nails too!

Hullo again, folks. Romana Caldy here. There were no further incidents and at five minutes before two PM the following afternoon, Gene Starwind set us down gently at the Academy Spaceport.

The debriefing was short for once and held at the Academy rather than all the way across town at 3WA HQ. Rio asked me if she and Fllaysie could borrow my aircar. It seemed that they had to report to Mr Garner at HQ. I was about to hand over the code keys to my speeder when Janey came into the sitting room we had at the dorms.

"Allster. DelCroix. Do either of you have a flying license?" she asked and the two kids shook their heads. I sighed and picked up my jacket.

"C'mon. I'll fly you over there and you can use a holocab to get back." I said and Fllaysie turned her pockets inside out. Janey picked up Rio's vidpay voucher wallet and tapped in some figures. Then she handed it to Rio.

"That's only a loan, Rio. A few hundred UniCreds should tide you over until pay day next week. You'll both be getting your bonuses for the mission and the holidays. Now scoot before I come to my senses. Fly carefully and responsibly, Romy." said Janey and I grinned at her joke. She knew damned well that I always flew sober and that I didn't chat on my vidcellphone or vidtext while I was piloting.

Rodan was waiting in my speeder when we reached the roof. She inspected Rio and Fllaysie like an ancient Terran Marine drill sergeant before she decided they'd pass muster. Uncle Chuckie was a stickler for neatness! I wasm't going inside with them and neither was Roddy so we could both look like slobs! I did anyway but Rodan was wearing starched dress greens!

Why? Who knew? We were only going shopping and picking up a few things for the flat! We all strapped in and then I snapped shut the roof because the weather gal had promised strong gusts and cold temps with snow coming in the afternoon. Roddy and I chatted merrily away while the girls in the back seat maintained a stony silence, unusual for those two but when the 'big cheese' wanted to see you 'immediately following' a mission debriefing, you worried!

We dropped the kids off at the 3WA HQ building's entry portals and then I jetted off to 'Bedner's Groceries' which, as usual, was crowded. We had to wait 15 minutes before a 'server 'droid' took my vidlist and scuttled off to fill it for me. I glanced at my wristchromo and saw it was close to eleven. Roddy agreed that we should stop at 'Java Heaven' for some refreshments before we went back home.

"Your order, Mrs Caldy. Please tap in the correct amount. Thank you very much. Your vidreceipt, mum. Please come back to 'Bedner's' again real soon, ya hear? Good morning, ladies." said the 'droid while two others were loading our goodies into my speeder's boot. I thanked him and Roddy handed him a few coins amounting to 3 UC's or Five Dollars in Terran currency.

"I am sorry, Miss but we are not permitted to accept gratuities for just doing our jobs, mum. Thanks al the same and Meri Kurisumasu to you both. Bye." said our server 'droid, holding aloft my gull wing portal for us to enter my speeder. After we were inside and strapped in, he lowered the gull wings carefully and locked them into place. Then he waved to us as we lifted off and Roddy and I waved back.

"Romy? Take a right at the next junction, please." said Rodan and I was puzzled. There was nothing in 'Kabuka-Land' that would interest her, was there? However, I yawed to starboard at the next vidlamp and soon we were flying past museums and other odd-shaped buildings until-

"Stop! Park in that docking space place to your left." said Roddy and I obediently yawed to port and set us down gently. Roddy was out of the speeder and dashing up the steps of a small, squatty building. A sign over the entryway read 'Rare VidNovels, J Gutenberg, Proprietor' and now I knew why we were here. Roddy loved knowledge! She collected old vidbooks by the bushel!

"Be right back, Romy! Mr G said he had a really old 'Pickwick Papers' first edition in mint condition! He said I can afford it too! I won't be long." she called over her shoulder and I bought a pack of smokes from a passing 'seller 'droid' and lit up while I waited. I didn't even get halfway through my cigarette before Roddy was back and clutching a big parcel wrapped in Christmas paper surmounted by a big red ribbon bow.

"Only fifteen UC's ($25.00 Terran currency) and in swell shape too! One of Dickens's greatest books ever!" bubbled Roddy. I crushed my smoke out in the ashtray and refastened my straps.

"I thought you already had a copy of 'Pickwick', Roddy?" I asked, letting out the impulse throttle and firing up the core. In this kind of cold, it was always best to warm up the engines. I was in no mood for walking back home if we broke down!

"Huh? I've got 7 of 'em, Romy. This one's a gift for Chief Gustav. He needs this and 'Two Cities' to complete his set of Dickens. Alley Cat's (Allison Victorine Prydonia, another time lady and daughter of #4 Doctor) getting him that one. By the way, what do you want for your prezzie?" replied Roddy and I shrugged my shoulders.

"Dunno really. Jon asked me the same thing a week ago. Wanna stop at 'Grinchies'? They make the best roast-a-beast I ever tasted!" I said but Roddy was lost in her own thoughts so I lifted off and flew a few blocks back the way we had just come and hovered while an 'order 'droid' at 'Grinchies' took my order. I ordered enough for six so we'd have leftovers for a late night snack.

The 'anti-grav trolley' with our order hovered beside my speeder while I stacked everything neatly on the back seats and strapped it in securely. I tapped in the correct amount, added a tip, swiped my vidID card through the runners on the trolley and took my vidreceipt from its slot.

"Thank you for remembering 'Grinchies' where 'He himself carves the roast beast for you'. Come again soon. Goodbye." said the canned 'droid voice from somewhere inside the building. 'Patty King', eat your heart out!

I lifted off and Roddy woke up and yawned. Then she told me she needed to use the 'you know' so I pulled into a 'fuel point place' and filled up while she went to the ladies' room. I checked the oil and refilled the water tanks under the hood. Then I cleaned off the windscreens and windows. The sliders needed a little shot of helium. Air cars and speeders don't have wheels or tires, just slider skids like pontoons on a Terran seaplane.

Roddy bounced out of the ladies' room and got back into the speeder, all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. She can get over her emotions so quickly it's sometimes scary. This was our last stop. Before I lifted off for home, I used my vidcellphone and called Rio. She assured me that they would both be home for dinner and that they had not upset Mr Garner too much! Then she explained that Mr Garner was vidfaxing some work home for them to do. That and a stern reprimand while they quaked in their boots was all he did to them.

I lifted off and we jetted back home where I parked on the roof port and 'transported' our dinner and groceries downstairs to the dining room. Roddy insisted on carrying her precious tome herself. I pointed my code keys at my speeder and pressed the latching system fob.

"Antitheft latching system now engaged. Good afternoon, Mrs Caldy." said my speeder's own 'Artok' computer programming unit whom I called 'Nancy'. I dropped my code keys into my bag and walked down the stairs to the lift dtstion where I managed to catch the lift before Roddy took it down. We rode down while Roddy chattered away about Mr Pickwick and Flossie and other Dickensian characters I recalled vaguely from childhood. I liked reading but outside of his Carol book, I found Mr Charles Dickens quite droll and very boring reading! I preferred Doyle and Haggard, mystery and action.

I repped up some tea and scones for our belated luncheon but neither of us was very hungry after five chocolate fudge sundaes apiece and tons of java. The vidphone trilled and I picked up.

"Hullo. Unh huh. Yeah. Nope. Excuse me, sir. Hey Miz Huntley? Our kids come home from school yet? No? OK. Thanks. That a negatory, Mr Garner. Neither Rio nor Fllaysie are here. Why?" I said into the receiver. Then he exploded! I never heard such language since that last naughty flick we'd watched aboard the 'Daedalus'!

"Pardon my French, Romana but they both left here at ten hundred plus twenty this morning. Now it's after fifteen hundred and I'm worried. I told them to viddy me as soon as they got home. Neither one of them knows the city that well except for the Mall and the shopping district. Save your breath, Romy. I cut off their shopping accounts so they can't be at Higurashi Mall or any other stores. Corporal Larrabee (Opal Larrabee had replaced the other gate guard I had met last time we were home) says she saw them walking towards 'Koby Street' but they sure as Hell wouldn't try and cut across 'Splattertown' (District 427 was a tough neighbourhood where even the KP Police wouldn't venture after dark!) or would they?" said a worried Charles Garner.

"Wait a sec, sir. 'Nancy'? Please locate Subby DelCroix and Ensign Allster for me. Thanks. OK, sir. We should have a report momentarily. What? Where? Sir, I don't know the city that well. Where is 'Godolphin Boulevard'?" I asked and my superior's face went chalk white.

"Please tell me they aren't there, Romy! That's part of 'Koda Sector' by the space docks! Some rough yeggs down there, man! I'm sending Suba Roberts (Revy) and Warrant Three Olson (Neko) over to your place. Use their skysled. It'll be quicker than your speeder. Go with them and get those damned kids back home! Hey do I see roast beast a la Calais? I have to work or I'd invite myself to dinner! Where'd ya go?" replied Mr Garner.

"At 'Grinchie's' on Davidow Lane near the book section. Want me to send a platter over to you and Fiona? We got plenty." I said.

"No, I don't feel much like dinner now. If anything happens to those scamps, I'll never forgive myself!" sobbed Mr Garner and I suddenly realized that we 3WAers weren't just employees to him, we were his family!

"Don't worry, sir. We'll find them. I just heard a skysled. That must be Revy and Neko. Try to eat something, sir. I'll be in touch. Caldy out." I said and hung up. The portal klaxon buzzed and Janey opened our sitting room's outer portal to admit a taller than tall redhead and a short, plump blonde. Both of the girls were in flight togs.

"Let's motor, kid. No telling what trouble they'll get into on 'Goldo B'. That place is rougher than Roanispur and that's goin' some, man! Here. Brought ya a flight jacket, Romy. Keep the home fires burnin', Janey. Ya ready? C'mon." said Revy Roberts.

We dashed to the lift and rocketed to the roof where I piled into their skysled. Neko hopped into the front seat while Revy took the controls. We weren't even strapped in and the roof was still open when revy lifted off and climbed quickly. Then she let out the rotors and we roared North and away from the city's central core.

Soon we were passing over what looked like a WW 317 battlefield! Warehouses and scrubby little buildings, come of which were barely 50 stories high! What a dump! Neko pointed a gloved forefinger at a narrow silver band below us.

"That's 'Godolphin Boulevard', Romy." said the trill girl.

"That it is to be certain sure. The only one at home down in that mess would be our Boss Lady! Hang on, I'm landing!" yelled Revy and in another second or two we were screeching to a grinding halt atop an dilapidated warehouse. She leaped out, a 'Cutlass' automatic pistol in either fist. Neko unlimbered a laser rifle and I fished out my stasis pistol. Revy reached into her tunic and tossed me a Mark XIII ion cannon.

"Here. This thing's got more stopping power that toy Galli pop-gun!" snarled Revy, leading the way to the side of the roof where a flimsy fire escape zigzagged down the side of the warehouse to a dismal alley far below. I followed her down while the nekomata trill covered our rear. Revy leaped the last ten metres to the ground and landed catlike on her feet. I dropped the last foot onto smelly dirt with Neko close behind me.

"Careful now. 'Artok's co-ordinates put our two brats in that dock house across the alley." whispered Revy, cocking both automatics. Unlike our ion cannons and laser beam rifles, Revy's guns fired lead projectiles, not beams of highly energized light! Revy shot to kill, not maim! What was I doing here? I'm a time lady. We were taught never to take life, any life! Yet here I was, blaster in hand. I quickly dialed my weapon down to 'stun'. Ion cannons have three settings- 'stun', 'paralyze' and 'kill'. Guess which one the Boss lady and Revy liked to use?

"Will you get a move on, Caldy! Revy's inside and I don't want a blood bath, do you?" snapped Neko, shoving me across the threshold. Neko covered me and Revy with her rifle. It was pitch dark inside the place so naturally I ignited my laser sword hilt.

"Put that damned light out, you baka moron! Wanna announce to all of Gangland that we're here, dammit?" growled Revy who seemed to have the uncanny ability of seeing in the dark! I guess Neko did too since she was both cat and cat demon along with being a trill and a human girl. I doused the light and crept forward as quietly as I could and I failed miserably!

"Didn't jungle girl (Leila) teach you any guerilla tactics, Captain?" grumbled Neko and I slipped off my boots. In sock feet I followed Revy up the rickety stairwell to the top landing. Revy decided it was time to act, not reconnoiter.

She fired two shots at the ceiling, deafening Neko and myself! then she banged on the portal.

"Get out here or the next ones come through the door, Idiots! Let 'em go, dammit! I'm 3WA and I'm mad as Hell! Open up!" she roared and the portal flashed open. A grubby hand appeared holding a wicked looking disruptor gun! Revy grabbed the wrist and squeezed until the gunman howled in pain and dropped the weapon. Revy backflipped the poor guy over the banister and he plummetted to the ground!

The next guy got off two blasts from his phaser rifle before Revy's boot snapped his head back like a football on a tee! He soon followed his mate over the railings. All stayed quiet so Revy kicked the portal the rest of the way inside the wall and she leaped inside the room. Neko and I crashed through behind her. I took a step forward and tangled my foot in something which tripped me and I almost fell.

"Upsy daisy! You OK, Romy?" asked Neko and I nodded I was fine. Darn it all! We needed light so I hit the wall switch which flooded the place with light. I had stumbled over a pile of 3WA uniforms! Holding one up to the light, Neko read out the name tag- ALLSTER! The one I held read DELCROIX! Wherever our little ones were, they were not decent!

"Allster! DelCroix! You morons in here, dammit? Answer me!" howled Revy at the top of her lungs.

"Quiet. I think I heard something, Revy." said the trill who had exceptional hearing. Then I too heard the whimpers. They were coming from the wall! I began thumping on the wall and feeling for a hidden catch. Neko joined me.

"Stand clear! Kids! If you can hear me, get away from the wall! I'm coming through!" yelled Revy, unlimbering a Mark XXI long barrelled ion cannon! KA-VLOOM! The wall simply disintegrated and it was raining 'Kalonite' plaster!

Directly across the hidden room was a bunk with a dirty blanket covering it. The bunk was lashed with cords and chains which my laser sword's 'blade' made short work of while Neko gently pulled down the blanket to reveal Rio and Fllaysie's gagged heads! Neko and I untied the gags. Then we began to yank down the blanket but they both screeched!

"Please get our clothes first, mums! We're the same as when we was born under the covers! Those guys stripped us bare! No tellin' what they had in mind, man! Sure glad you guys showed up!" whimpered Rio while Fllaysie began to cry.

"Buck up, dammit! You're 3WA tro-cons, ain't ya? Act like it! Revy! Bring in those clothes!" I snapped. After all, I was an Acting Commodore, wasn't I? Revy dumped an armload of uniforms and unmentionables onto the floor.

"Five minutes! We'll wait outside! C'mon, Neko, Romy." growled Revy, shouldering her Mark XXI and walking back down the stairs. We followed. Believe it or not, those two creeps were still alive! Neko and I force beam cuffed them and led them outside while Revy flew our craft down to the alley. We manhandled the two guys inside and strapped them in the very last row of seats. The girls ran up to us, still zipping up their blazers and they climbed into the seats immediately in front of the crooks. I took the seat between Rio and Fllaysie and covered the two baddies with my cannon.

Neko climbed inside and snapped down the roof. Revy took the throttles and we roared off towards the closest KP Police substation where we dumped off our cargo and assured the captain there that 3WA tro-cons were not allowed to collect rewards. Seems there were bounties on both gangsters!

Back in the sled, I vidded Mr Garner and assured him that the kids were a little mussed up but otherwise right as rain. He thanked us all profusely and then told the kids that they would be reduced in rankings to Lance corporals and that they would pull HQ guard mount until he decided otherwise or a mission came up, whichever came first!

We reached home at 1900 hours when the chromos were all striking seven and dusk was falling. The triple sunset in the East was breathtaking! It had been so long since I had seen one and I felt very happy for some reason. We had a hearty dinner of roast beast a la Calais with all the trimmings and Janey made the girls pull KP duty!

Roddy began to read to us from 'Dynamics of an Asteroid' written by Professor james Henry Moriarity so, by popular consent, we all retired to our rooms for an early night. Revy and Neko had been contacted by the HQ OD (Officer of the Day) who had not received their reports on the rescue incident and they had left us an hour ago.

The next morning it was quiz time for our two truants. It seemed that after they had been dismissed by Mr Garner and passed through the HQ building's three checkpoints that they were sick and tired of showing vidpasses, identifying themselves, submitting to searches and all of the other red tape the 3WA was throwing at them so they deliberately waited until Miss Opal took a quick smoke break. Then they hotfooted it around the security gates and out the front portals.

They dashed down the steps and into the street where they thought that I had been patiently waiting for them in my speeder. When they couldn't find me or Roddy, they went looking for transport but there were no holocabs or taxi 'droids anywhere around! That was when Fllaysie suggested that we take the monorail home.

They didn't realize that the mono system had not yet been extended to our part of town. If they took it to its line's end, they'd still have been ten kilometres from the Academy. They asked a passerby where the nearest mono station was and she tried to direct them. The upshot was that they got lost and were soon walking through 'Splattertown', Furool (Foo-Lon) City's slums district. When they got to Metabolo Drive, they met two nice guys who offered them a lift, thinking they were both space stews on a layover.

Rio didn't want to go but Fllaysie did and Rio would not leave her friend so they got into these two guys' air speeder and they were driven to Godolphin Boulevard to a ratty looking house across the alley from an old warehouse. Here they were hustled inside and given 'Mickey Finns' to drink.

When they came to, they were both as naked as jaybirds! That was when they told them that we were not space stews at all, they were tro-cons from the 3WA. They laughed at them and the kids fought against them until they heard noises across the way. Then the big guy went downstairs to investigate while his crony tossed them on this horrible smelly old cot and covered them with a filthy blanket. Then he trussed the frightened girls up like turkeys and gagged them, yanking the blanket over their heads.

The noises were, of course, us landing on the old warehouse roof and we knew the rest of the story. They were both ashamed and terrified because Janey told them that Mr Garner would be told the whole story in our next reports! The rest of that day was spent in removing sub-ensign and ensign shoulderboards from the kids' uniforms and replacing them with lance corporal lightning flashes, grey not gold or silver.

Mr Garner was sympathetic when he heard the sad tale but he was admant as well. As today was Saturday, he agreed to allow the miscreants to stay off duty for the weekend. However, they were going to take over guard mount at the East gate of 3WA HQ bright and early Monday morning at 0600 hours, 6 AM! They were to pull double shifts until their next mission or Kurisumasu Ibu (Christmas Eve), whichever came first!

That meant from 6 in the morning until 10 at night they were on duty with an hour off for lunch and dinner as well as two java/smoke breaks for each 8 hour shift. As this was the holiday season, all tro-cons on duty were required to wear dress greens with miniskirts, not trousers. That was gonna go over like a lead zeppelin for sure!

Furthermore, non-coms were forbidden to wear side arms. Instead, they were to carry laser rifles at all times. Then Mr Garner vidded us again to remind us to have our kiddies report a half an hour early on Monday so that another guard could 'show them the ropes' meaning how to search, check IDs, fill out reports, etc. I was deputized to deliver the glad tidings.

"Huh? Romey Domey, that sounds like real work, man!" complained Fllaysie.

"0530 tomorrow we gotta be there? Then 0600 every day after that? Only every other weekend off? We'll be leaving home before the triple sunrise! OK. Guess we deserve it, mum. But you will be there to pick us up at 2200, right? (I nodded) Every night? (I nodded again) Then we'd better get these uniforms to the cleaners and fast! The 3WA gets half off at 'Martina's on Tylden Street. Fllaysie, c'mon! No more late nights for us for a long while, baby!" said Rio, hustling Fllaysie into their bedroom to pack up their dress greens for the jog down the lane to the cleaners. I was a bit surprised that Rio wasn't asking Daddykins (Chief of 3WA R&D Dept George DelCroix was her father) to intercede for them.

"Tell Martina to charge it to my account, Rio!" I yelled to them on their way out the portals. Those two were going to be broke until their vidpays and bonuses came on next week's space mail clipper from 'Alderaan'. At least they were still officers until yesterday. If they stayed as LCs though, they were gonna have to stop wasting UCs like water! Janey had lent them a few hundred but with 'Shim' prices, that would not last too long.

Then it hit me! If the kids had to be there Monday by 0530, I'd have to be up to fly them. Maybe I could get Janey to rep up their lunches Sunday night. It was the least she could do for me after finagling me into dropping the bombshell on them. I picked up my bag and zipped up my snowsuit. Then I pulled on scarf, parka, fur gloves and cap and struggled into my new snow boots. It was bitterly frigid outside and last night's six metre snowfall would have covered my speeder because, like a baka fool, I had not activated the force beam snow barrier before I had gone to bed last night.

I trudged onto the roof, fighting my way against the 60 kph blast of icy wind that was keeping the roof portal from sliding shut. It took me three minutes to get close enough to my snowed in heap to use my laser sword's 'light blade' to melt away enough of the icy sleet and snow from the gull wing door! As soon as I was inside, I quicky yanked down the door and snapped it shut. Thank Kami I had not left the top down too! I did that last year on 'Keleston' and sitting in melting snow in a wet snowsuit is no fun!

I fired up the vision clearing melter rotors and soon the windscreens were clear both fore and aft. If I was going to be taking my 'Esther' back and forth twice a day to and from HQ for an indefinite period of time, I wanted to be damned sure it wasn't gonna break down on me. 'Dooley's on Mars would do a good job and not ask me any embarrassing questions about the bullet holes, scorch burns and other stuff that I was forbidden to reveal under the terms of the 'Galactic Oath' to which I had sworn allegiance to the Federation and to the 3WA. Besides, his prices were dirt cheap since he Mars dealt in 'woolongs' rather than Universal currency. Oh and I was a pal of his best customer, Spike Steigel!

I stopped off at a 'Shim Bank & Trust' server 'droid box and exchanged two thousand UCs for a billion 'woolongs' before I rocketed off to Mars. The vidmap was vague on Martian landmarks so I had to drop down to treetop height before I found the narrow silver river and tiny bridge that led up the mountainside to 'Dooley's place. I set down gently atop a snowbank and hopped out.

Mars was cold as it was wintertime here as well but it was nowhere near as cold as FC. I tossed off my parka and cap but kept my gloves on. Then I picked up my bag purse and sauntered up the hill to Dooley's garage. Miles Maxey was there, listening to ice hockey games when he was supposed to be working. He glanced up and grinned at me.

"Old Man! We gots us a customer and a pretty one too! Howdy, ma'am. That your speeder over yonder?" he said in awe. Speeders like mine are quite commonplace on Shimougou but not on Mars.

"What the Sam Hil are ya yellin' about, Miles? Ain't ya done with that cruiser overhaul yet? Get to work. That's what I pay ya fer, not to listen to ball games all day. Good afternoon, ma'am. Don't I know ya from somewhere?" said Dooley, wiping his hand and then holding it out to me. I shook hands with him and smiled.

"It's been a few years I know and I'm married now, Mr Dooley. Romana Caldy but when I met you I was still Mandlikova. I was here with Mr Steigel and some of his friends, sir." I replied.

"What kin I do for ya, ma'am? I mean, Romana. Don't see speed buggies like yours every day around these parts." asked the tall garageman.

"She needs a complete overhaul, sir. I need to know that she's working perfectly and it's a bit of a rush job, Mr D. I need it for an early trip on Monday morning. I have to have my kids somewhere by half past five."

"Hmmn. This bein' Friday, Miles and me'll have all weekend to work on her. How's Sunday at 1400 (2 PM) sound to ya?" he drawled and bit off the end of a stogie and spat it out. Then he fired up the cigar.

"Great! Better than I could have hoped for! Sunday here is Saturday back home. How much?" I asked and he began to figure.

"Overhaul both rotors and throttles. Tune up impulse engines and thruster engines. Clean and lube the sliders. Repair all collteral damages. Don't worry. I know how to keep me trap shut, kid. Retighten the roof and doors. Then clean and wax the whole thing inside and out. Be a mite heavy, Lovey. 25 million. 'Woolongs', that is. Say, half a thousand Universal, ma'am. You're a good friend o' Spike's so no extra charge for the rush job. OK?" said Dooley.

"That's just swell, man! Do I pay you now?" I asked excitedly.

"When ya pick her up is fine. You can pay me now if ya like. No big deal, Romy Honey. Miles! Take that buggie o' hers for a test spin across the river. Be back by suppertime!" yelled Dooley and I counted out 25 million 'woolongs' and handed then to him.

"Lemme gets ya a receipt, Lovey. How is old Spike, anyhow? Ain't seen him since I rescued him with my old 'Enterprise' shuttle." chortled Dooley, all the while tapping out a vidreceipt for me. He handed it to me.

"What if it costs you more than 25 mill, Mr D?" I asked and he grinned.

"I stand by my estimates, Missy. Always have and always will. If it costs more, I pay for it, not you. By the way, you stayin' somewhere nearby? Need a loaner? On the house, o' course. You just pay for the fuel ya uses." he replied.

"Doesn't seem to be much of anything around here. I could fly back home and come back again but-" I began.

"Nonsense! We got plenty o' room and Miles is a damned good cook. An ace mechanic too and i'm damned lucky to have him but don't tell him that. A hundred fer two days including room and board and as much roast beast as ya kin eats. What d'ya say, Romy?" asked the old man.

"Five UCs a day for two days and no luggage? It's a deal, Mr D! You do have 'repper' here, right?" I asked hopefully.

"Yeah. Spike gave us one but I hardly ever uses it. Ya kin uses it if ya like. (He glanced at the big chromo set in his barn's wall) Miles better get back here soon or I'll have no supper tonight! Well, lemme shows ya yer room, such as it is, Romy." he said and I followed him up to the huge house.

"Such as it is, Mr Dooley? It's a queen's palace throne room, man! You sure you only want a hundred? On Shim, this place would go for a thousand woos at least!" I squealed with delight.

"A bargain is a bargain, Lovey. Besides, this room ain't all that much fer a fine lady like you. You deserves better but this is the best I can offer ya." apologized Mr Dooley.

"OK. Then I insist on cooking supper for you and Miles tonight. The least I can do, sir." I replied firmly.

"I really shouldn't let ya but- Ya know how to cook roast beast a la Calais?" he asked.

"My specialty, Mr D. Coming right up as soon as I peel off this snowsuit! Really warm in here, isn't it?" I replied.

"Miles is always cold so I have to keep the heat up high. Sorry." explained Mr Dooley.

I had kicked off my boots and pulled off my socks. I unzipped my snowsuit and the poor old guy blushed.

"I'll leave you to your changing then. The 'repper' is on the chiffonier behind ya. I'll be downstairs if ya needs me." he said and slammed the door behind him.

He neddn't have worried because underneath that suit were five sweaters and four pairs of ski pants, three polo shirts and long johns before I got down to my skivvies and brassiere! I 'repped' up a grey coloured turtleneck and a pair of dark grey jeans and white trainers or sneakers. I finished undressing and threw on my new finery before I headed down to check out the kitchen.

Dooley's kitchen was the size of the largest hotel's on Mars and then some! I quickly brewed up java and then cooked my specialty meat entree, added boiled potatoes and creamed carrots, baked som rolls and then I baked a nice apple pie for dessert. Miles arrived just as I was setting the table.

"That's my job, lady. You tryin' to take over here?" he grinned and I blushed.

"Mr Dooley has kindly allowed me to stay until 'Esther' is done and he charged me so little that I thought it only fair that I cook dinner for you two tonight. You don't mind, do you?" I replied.

"Nope. I think the Old Man was gettin' a bit tired o' Peppers and Beef anyhow. Need any help?" said Miles.

"You could pour the java if you would, Miles." I answered.

"Your wish is my command, Madam." he laughed and grabbed pot and cups.

"That was an excellent supper, my dear. Sure you don't wanna change professions, Miz Caldy?" asked Mr Dooley and I did a double take and almost dropped the pie! I didn't think that anyone here knew that I was a cop! Had Spike spilt the milk?

"Calm yer fears, Romy Honey. 'Tweren't Spike that told me and Miles you're 3WA. It was my old pal Dash Rendar. Told us how you and some alley cat saved his bacon from some cat named Oakbrain. Never fear. Yer secret's safe with us, ain't it, Miles?" added Mr Dooley and I relaxed again.

"Sure. Who'd ever believe that she was a cop anyway? Good pie, Mrs Caldy! Great!" said Miles.

"I'll give ya the recipe for it, Miles. Then you can bake it for Mr Dooley whenever you like." I replied.

The 'Oakbrain' that Dash had referenced was in fact Zorin Oakenshield, the megalomaniac of Romulus and Remus who wanted to rule the Universes! Thank goodness he was locked up tight in Seta Kaibo!

Miles insisted on clearing up and washing the dishes. I insisted on drying them and stacking them for him. Mr D relit his stogie cigar and went down to his shop to work. He was still hard at it when Miles and I retired at ten. I wished that I had a room like this aboard 'Nessie', my TARDIS! I slept like a log and came downstairs next morning to a big home cooked breakfast. I admit it! I made a pigasaurus of myself but Miles nor Dooley seemed to mind in the least.

I cleared away and washed up the dishes and dried and stacked them away. I could hear Miles and Mr D discussing my'Esther'.

"I told ya, Old Man. There is nothing wrong with that speeder, man!" said Miles.

"And I told you that nobody flies 700 'lightys' (light years) unless they need an overhaul! Check it out again!" replied Dooley.

"Excuse me for eavesdropping but Miles is absolutely right. There's nothing wrong with 'Esther' in the least. However, since we now have 6 metres of snow on the ground and winds in excess of 60 kph and the temps dropped to minus 16 Kelvin (30 below zero Fahrenheit), I don't want to be breaking down while I'm taking 2 tro-cons back and forth to HQ! Just do the normal stuff on it and have it ready by Saturday, my Saturday, your Sunday, please. OK? Kapish?" I interjected.

"Told ya it was OK, Old Man. Whoops! The Ice Cats take on the Frost Giants today! Gotta run! Yeah, I'll start on the brakes and tremblers, Old Man. See ya at lunch, Romy." chuckled Miles and he was gone.

"Time I checked the timing and your 'lectrics too. Be back to eat. Bye." said Dooley and then he too was gone.

I sighed and flopped down to watch some vidTV while I repped up lunch. I suddenly realized that I was not going to be back the rest of the weekend! I reached for Dooley's vidphone then remembered it would be very super long distance! Sighing, I reached into my pocket and dug out my vidcellphone. Nothing but crackles and static!

I picked up the vidphone and the operator 'droid came on. I asked if I could place a Mars to Shimougou station to station call and have it charged to my own vidcellphone.

"That would usually prsent us no problem, Captain Caldy. However, the solar storms are causing massive interference today. We cannot even reach Kagura which is quite close (A mere three 'lightys' away). I am very much afraid that a call to Shimougou is out of the question. I am very sorry, Madam. Will there be anything else today with which I can assist you?" said the pleasant female voice. I thought hard. Then I had it! Will and Sonny, our two Terran truckers had been assigned a cargo run to Mars aboard the 'Defiant' star carrier cruiser.

"Can you patch me through to the 3WA carrier 'Defiant' and charge it to my vidcell's acct? Person to Person? I'll speak with anyone who answers. Please? This is an emergency, mum." I pleaded.

"Negative, Madam. They are in the heart of the storms. Do you have a vidPC laptop with you? If so, you could vid email them a short message. The signal just might get through to Shim. Sorry but that is the best we can manage today I fear. Excuse me but my board is lighting up like a K-Tree! Happy holidays and good luck!" she replied and the line went dead. Damned holidays!

"Something smells good. I'm famished, ma'am. Hmmn! Fresh roast beast! My favourite! Thankee. Any luck reaching home? No? These blasted solar winds! Eh? Nope. I ain't got none o' them newfangled gadgets. Ask Miles. He's got more 'lectronic junk than Zamazon! Miles!" said Mr Dooley, heaping his plate up with everything on the table.

"Yeah? What's ya want, Old Man? Yummy! Roast Beast! I love that stuff! Save some for me, ya old hogasaurus! Afternoon, Miz Caldy, I mean, Romana." said Miles and he too was no slouch of a trencherman either!

"Miles? By any chance, do you have a vidPC laptop I could borrow?" I asked hopefully, toying with my veggies.

"Sure. Take yer pick, Romy Honey." replied Miles, his mouth full of food.

"Don't talk with yer mouth full, boy. You'll choke to death and then I'll need a new mech kid." said a stone-faced Dooley.

"How many do you have, Miles?" I asked.

"Not many. A hundred or so, I guess. What's ya needs it fer? Homework for Uncle Chuckie?" he laughed. I was astonished to say the least! Not many people knew the Territorial Sector Chief of the Aquarian Galaxy for the 3WA! Even less knew his nickname!

"Where do ya think Garner's speeder gets serviced, Honey? We've known Charles for years. One of my better customers." said Mr D, apparently anticipating my unspoken query.

"No signals can get through these storms, Miles and I just have to let my superior know where I am and that I'm not AWOL. I don't want Colonel Huntley to worry about me." I answered.

"Rainy Janey's a colonel already? Last time I saw her she was just a 'subby', a sub-ensign, Romana. When was that, Old man?" replied Miles, shoveling in more mashed potatoes.

"About this time last year. You did a rush job on her 'skyskooter's timing belts, remember? We promised to deliver it to her before 'Thanks for Giving Day'. Say! How comes you didn't just comm relay us to pick it up at your place on Shim, Romy? Didn't Spike tell ya we do pick ups and deliveries? You musta just beat those storms to Mars! You're damned lucky you didn't get spun offcourse all the way to Kag Nine. Please pass the Brussel sprouts, ma'am." said Mr Dooley.

"No, he most certainly did not tell me that, sir. Had he done so, it would have saved me a trip. Ya know, this is my first visit to Mars when I wasn't aboard a starship. I sure hope I can get home before Monday or I really will be AWOL, guys." I replied.

"Don't fret none about that, little lady. You can ride back with Miles in our brand spankin' new space carrier ship. He's got quite a few deliveries to make for me and dropping you and your 'Esther' off at the 'Cademy will be no problemo." said Mr Dooley who was eying the big banana cream pie I had baked for dessert.

"Where are my manners? I haven't offered you any dessert yet. Please pass your plates." I said and they held out their dishes.

"I ain't had nana pie in months, Old Man! Hope she baked another one or you won't get any." chuckled Miles. I served a generous wedge topped with chocolate shavings to each of them.

"As a matter of fact, I did bake another one. In fact, I baked three more. That'll save me time when I start dinner for you guys." I said.

"You are too good to us, Madam! It makes me feel like a cad! After all, I am charging you for the tuneup of 'Esther' as well!" said Mr Dooley while Miles helped himself to another wedge of pie.

"Save some for Romana, Miles! She's our guest!" scolded the big guy.

"Why? You heard. She's got three more in the kitchen, Old Man! I love nana cream pie, boy!" said Miles and I giggled.

"It's like cooking for my Jonathan and our 'KASP' friends back on 'Cerestan 5' again! I feel like family, man!" I said and I meant it too!

"You are family now, ma'am. Miles, I believe we have accidentally overcharged her for the garage bill, haven't we?" said Mr Dooley and Miles nodded.

"By about 250 'woolongs', Old Man, at least!" he agreed.

"More like 500, eh?" replied his boss with a wink.

"Oh, I couldn't let you do that, fellas! Fair is fair and a deal's a deal." I argued but to no avail. When I checked my vidwallet that night, I was richer by 750 woolongs and I forget how much that is in UCs but it ain't chicken feed!

The next day being Sunday the solar storms subsided and as Miles already had 'Esther' purring like a kitten, Mr Dooley decided that Miles should take us both back home. Miles expertly loaded all the deliveries and my 'Esther' onto the big carrier ship and then he hopped into the cockpit while Mr D helped me aboard beside him. Miles pointed to the numerous 'No Smoking' signs plastered all over the place so I tossed away my cigarette before climbing in.

"No dawdlin' now, Miles 'cause them solar storms ain't done yet. Not by a long shot, boy. You take Romy Honey here home first. Then drop off the other jobs and don't forget to collect. Not to worry none, my dear. Miles'll git ya home in jig time. You won't lose those 'railroad tracks' for goin' AWOL. Here's the java for the trip and the nice picnic basket lunch our sister packed for ya, boy. Git a move on now and hurry back home, OK?" said Mr Dooley and Miles nodded while I shook hands with the guy who reminded me so much of my Uncle Kolodius.

"Stop worryin', Pops. I know I got precious cargo here. Romy darlin', see if ya kin gets the hockey game on the vidMarconi, will ya. See ya, Old man. Here we go!" yelled Miles while I tuned in to the game and found out it was middle of second period with no score yet.

"Dammit! If the Ice Cats don't score this period, I'm out a hundred woosies, Honey!" whined Miles. I sighed.

"How long's this voyage gonna take, Miles?" I asked worriedly. It took me long enough to earn my captain's bars but an AWOL blemish on my record could easily lose me one of 'em!

"Huh? Damn! That idiot Cat goalie almost let them other guys score! Voyage? This is just a milk run, kiddo! About an hour from Mars to East Shimmy Shim. Want me to park 'Esther' on the roof of your building or below in the underground docks?" replied Miles.

"Roof's fine, pal. Our rooms are only two levels down from the roof. You do know how to get to Taka Academy, right?" I asked anxiously and he yawned.

"Of course I do. Didn't the Old Man tell ya that we service a lot of your tro cons' personal speeders?" said Miles, expertly yawing around an asteroid the size of a moon.

I fell silent and listened to the boring old hockey game which ended in a draw even though there were three sudden death periods! Miles was as mad as a mad scientist! He'd lost a hundred woosies and he didn't get paid until next week! I sighed again and fished out my vidwallet and tapped in 500 woosies and transferred the amount into Miles's own vidwallet account.

"There ya go, Miles baby. I just loaned you 500 woosies and I expect it back before Christmas Eve, OK? Us captains make a good salary and we get bonuses too but stuff in the city is really expensive these days. There! That's pur building, the short one with the green roof. My parking slot is G-17. It's near the roof portals. Darn it! Esther's power pack must be dead! Damned transporter won't activate! Guess I'll have to float her in, Miles." I said gloomily because the winds were up again and there was a crust of snow 4 metres deep on the roof!

"Don't you fret none, little lady. This pilgrim's gonna fly Esther right into her home fer ya, podner." he replied, doing a terrible impression of ancient Terra's 'Duke', the Western cowboy hero.

Miles set the 'Tom Dooley' carrier down and climbed over my seat and entered the rear of the ship where I soon heard Esther's roaring and then she settled down to a purr. The rear portal 'curtains' dematerialized and Miles crawled Esther across the crust of frozen snow until he had 'parked' my speeder in its slot. Then he hopped out and activated my speeder's 'weather shield' forced beam barrier to protect it from the elements. He reactivated the carrier's rear 'curtains' and climbed back into the cockpit beside me, blowing on his gloved hands to warm them up again.

"Colder than a witch's tits out there if you'll pardon my French, Honey." he chortled. He might be an ace mech but he sure made a lousy impressionist!

"Don't give up your day job, Miles. Thanks loads. Remember to thank the old guy for me too. The wind's subsided a little so it's now or never, I guess. Bye." I said, shaking his hand and jumping down onto the roof. My deck boots sankdown a full metre before I remembered that they were rocket boots. A slight touch of my toes to each other and I quickly rose into the aether. The wind was against me but I finally made it to the portals where I waved goodbye to Miles. He waved back, saluted me the old Terran way and lifted off.

The portals slid back and a pair of gloved hands yanked me inside the building. The portals snapped shut behind me and I deactivated my boots. Janey took my arm and guided me down the steps to the lift. A few nano-seconds later we were warm and toasty inside our suite. Acey and Peri had a roaring fire going in the old fireplace and I immediately turned my tail to the flames and hogged all the warmth! I ddn't care! I was damned bloody cold!

"Here! Drink this, Romy. It'll make ya feel better." said Janey, shoving a mug of hot java into my gloved hands. As I sipped it greedily, I realized that it had been very liberally laced with liquor! Who cares? It was damned good and piping hot! It warmed my tummy inside and out.

Meanwhile Acey and Peri were 'unpeeling' my sodden garments from me one by one. However, I called a halt after they had removed my fifth and final underslip! I opted to take off my Union suit 'long johns' in the privacy of my own bedroom thank you very much! Under that suit, I was wearing only a brassiere and a thong!

"Modest Millie huh? OK but you had better get into a hot tub and quick. Garner's on the warpath again!" said Acey and I was perplexed.

"This is still Sunday afternoon, isn't it?" I asked. They nodded. Now I was really confused! The kids weren't due at work until tomorrow morning at half past five.

"Why do you think I was waiting upstairs on the roof for you, Romana? You left without a word and there's been no relays from you for two solar days! Acey thought you'd gone over the hill, AWOL! You weren't gone five minutes before Garner called. We have a new mission already. No firm details until the briefing session which he's had to postpone until 1500 today. Three o'clock this afternoon, Romy. We were supposed to lift off immediately but Garner wants to see you first! Why he would not tell me. So get your bath, eat some lunch and get into flight togs and winter gear. Garner told us to bring our plasma rifles along and he'll brief us as soon as we are aboard the 'Daedalus' so hurry up. I want you to meet us aboard ship as soon as you're ready! It's almost 1500 hours dammit! C'mon you two and bring those rifles. Take Romana's as well. Ten minutes, Captain Caldy! Get a wiggle on, girl!" ordered Janey Huntley and I quickly ran a hot bath.

I had just slid into the sunken bathtub when I heard our front portals snap shut. I allowed myself a full three minutes to soak before I jumped out and stood betwixt the drying alcoves for 30 seconds. Now I was thoroughly warmed and bone dry. I dressed rapidly and dragged on my flightsuit. I squeezed my tootsies into deck boots and at a hasty lunch of a burger and onion rings. I drank three mugs of scalding hot java and yanked on my fur parka and hat, gloves, swirled my scarf around my throat and slid some extra power packs and my cannons into my rucksack, hefted it and dashed for the stairs to the roof. Quicker than waiting for the lift to come down again, I reasoned.

"Esther, deactivate 'weather shield' and fire up impulse engines only." I said into my transporter remote. Yes, I replaced the power pack in it first! The gull wing on the pilot's side snapped up and I hopped inside, pulling the gull wing down until it snapped into place. It took but a micro-second to strap myself into my seat and another to lift off and head for the Academy's spaceport.

"Hatter, are you aboard?" I yelled into my comm badge.

"I'm here, child. You almost missed your tea." he replied quite crossly.

"Belay that crapola! Get into your Tardy and beam me and Esther aboard and quick! I'm stuck in holiday air traffic! Hurry!" I screeched and in two minutes I felt myself disassembling and just as speedily reassembling. I was aboard. In a flash, I was out of my speeder and racing up the deck to the bridge and an impatient Mr Garner, in person! Usually he briefed us from his office on the vidcom screens but not this time!

"About time you showed up, Caldy! Uncle Chuckie's been crappin' bullets waitin' fer ya!" howled Acey Johnston. Peri and she were sitting in the gunner seats. Janey was piloting with Angel Jonathan co-piloting. Then I noticed that the commander's chair was vacant! Was Garner himself taking command of the 'Dae'?

"Well? What are you waiting for, an engraved invitation, Major Caldy? Get into your command chair! That's an order!" he snapped angrily and I collapsed into the chair. His face softened and he laughed.

"Always wanted to do that. Sorry but it's been a hectic damned weekend, Romy. For this mission, you will be mission leader and ship's commander. Now that- Oh and your promotion came through not five minutes after you went off on your joyride. Congratulations, Major. Now, to business.

"I personally hand picked the crew members for this mission. For this particular mission, I needed a time lord and-" he began.

"Sir, Romana is a time lady, not a lord." interrupted Perpigillian Periwinkle Brown much to Mr G's annoyance.

"I know that, Ensign! If I might continue? I needed a Gallifreyan who would not hesitate to give an order to kill, who would not hesitate to kill when the need arose and one that has killed before. You are going after a rogue time lord. He will not hesitate to kill because he is fighting for his very existence, having already expended all 12 of his lives.

"What I am about to say- Captain Van Helsing, please be sure that relay to the squwkboxes is not open. Good. What I am about to reveal to you must not leave this bridge. It was divulged to me in the greatest secrecy by an old and venerable time lord who shall remain nameless.

"Unknown to any but a very select few is that a time lord or a time lady can be killed, expending all of his or her regenerated lives in a single instant. (Hatter dropped the teapot and I almost fainted!) That's why I ordered you four to bring these horrible things! (Garner held aloft a plasma rifle) When fitted with a particularly noxious gas capsule, a plasma rifle energy bolt, a single bolt can end the lives of any time lord or time lady just like that! )He snapped his fingers) Even I was not allowed to share the secret of this powerful poisonous gas and my informant told me that it was always the hope of Lord Rassilon and the High Councillors that such usage would never ever become necessary.

"However, circumstances beyond their control now make it most necessary indeed. Lord Gammerick has joined forces with the Lady Rani to do something so terribly horrific that what it is my informant refused to tell me. He did say that it would extinguish all life on all the Universes and it would be as if no Creations ever existed at all at any place and in any time!

"For this reason alone, Lord Gammerick MUST be executed in this vile manner! Should she attempt to interfere with this execution, the Lady Rani MUST also be executed in like manner! Here's the kicker! ONLY a true time lord or time lady can fire that fatal bolt of ionically charged poisoned energy to end those lives!

"Every single member of the High Council has refused to fire that bolt! That includes Lady Allison Prydonia and all the Doctors! We cannot ask the young time maiden Princess Rodan to commit this heinous act of destruction and will not! We have had but a single volunteer- The Master! (Crash! Hatter dropped the tea service and I said a very bad series of words and had the Grannies heard me, my mouth would surely have been washed out with carbolic soap!).

"Calm yourselves! They don't trust that weasel as far as I could throw a discus! However, he will more than likely try to team up with Gammerick and Rani! If he does, the same rules apply. Anyone attempting total uncreation MUST be executed immediately!

"One other point is this- a time lord may be shot by either another time lord or time lady as well as any female of any other species. A time lady, on the other hand, can only be shot by another time lady or female of any other species. That's why our four shooters are all female- two humans, an alien and a time lady.

"Janelle Huntley, Ascerbian Marie Johnston, Perpigillian Periwinkle Brown, Romana Mandlikova Caldy. You will be our rifle persons. The order to kill will only be issued by your mission leader. That will be you, Romana and-" explained Garner until he was quite rudely interrupted!

"Whoa there! Hold the comm relay a sec, sir! I'm a sphmore co-ed in college back on Terra and I'm only on summer vacation! I thought it'd be a lark to jaunt around the Universes and visit different time eras but now-" whined Peri.

"Oh my goodness! My bad, kiddies! OK. Ensign Brown? You're off the hook, Honey. It'll be either Subaltern Olson or Warrant Officer 2 Sawaguchi (Neko or Kome. The former was a gunner while the latter is our back-up comm relay officer. She'd be a better choice since she used to be a gunner on Earth Alliance One way back when!) and I think Sawaguchi's a better choice. Do you concur, Andy (Gooley), Don (Poporo), Anton (Gustav)(Our other chiefs)?" said Mr Garner, addressing his joint chiefs of staff who were back on Alderaan.

"I nelieve that I speak for the three of us, Charlie. I agree that Kome's the better choice. Besides, Neko left for Kagura yesterday, remember?" replied Mr Gooley.

"Right! I forgot she went to stay with Elsa Lied's folks for the holidays. Better shoot a signal to Sawaguchi to get her keester back here, Willy (Gustav) tout sweet. She's at our Western HQ in Elenore City. Make arrangements for her to be shuttled out to the 'Daedalus' when she gets here. We can't waste any more time on this mess! Caldy? (I blinked and sat up straight in my new command chair) You will lift off just as soon as Dynamo (Chief Engineer) has given the 'Dae' a clean bill of health.

"Ensign Brown? You'll perform yeoman duties on the mission. Understood? Good. Huntley, Johnston, Smith, Caldy? Follow me. The others are dismissed but will remain aboard. I don't want your new commander having to fly to the Malls to find you so she can liftoff when Dy gives her the green light. We'll be in the ready room and we are not to be disturbed. Colonel Von Dekker (Fritzie was the 'Green Baron' and chief weapons officer), you have the comm. Let's go, kiddies." said Garner, hustling the four of us into the 'office' behind my bridge.

"Gammerick and Rani have been reported in the 'Bad Lands' very close to 'Corallia' and 'Sontarra' and you all know what that means, right?" began Mr Garner.

"Nope. What does that mean, Charlie?" asked a voice from the back corner of the table which was in shadow.

"Who's in here with us? Show yourselves, dammit!" yelled an angry Garner. Mark Gordon, Cordell Walker, CD Parker, Jimmy Trivette, Holmes and Watson and Joe Friday and Bill Gannon stood up.

"Anyone else?" I demanded.

"Just us, Senorita Time Lady! We did not does nutting! Tell her, Seesco! I don'ts wants to get shot!" cried Pancho.

"Pancho and I didn't mean to intrude but, Senorita Caldy, you are going to need all the help you can get. We all hereby volunteer to help out and all of us have taken lives before and will not hesitate to kill. Am I not correct, gentlemen?" replied the Cisco Kid.

"Yup! That's why we didn't tell Alex, Mrs Walker I mean." agreed the three Texas Rangers.

"You'll need to eat, won't ya? I make a mean bowl of Texas chili even if I am braggin' a little bit, ma'am." said CD Parker.

"Oh for Kami's sake, let 'em come along, Chuck!" yelled Acey.

"The more, the merrier. Why not?" agreed Janey.

"Couldn't hurt, Boss. My Boss still won't let me d any killing so I'm just an exec and a co-pilot for this run, Romy and Charlie." added Angel Jonny Smith.

"I can hold my own in a Donnybrook, Charlie and you know that, man!" said Mark.

"I'm surprised that Stiles and Murdoch ain't along for the ride as well." I replied.

"Someone mention us? Our Corvette's down below right next to Mark's big boat (Ford Torino). We're all set to help out." said Buzzy. He and Todd had just walked in.

"Didn't you see the sign on the portals, gentlemen?" snapped Mr Garner.

"Yeah but who's smoking, sir?" chuckled Todd Stiles.

"The jigoku with it all! I give up! Everyone in this room is now assigned to the mission and sworn to secrecy! Got it?" said a weary Garner, lighting up a cheroot.

"Capital! I deduce a speedy conclusion to this task! Eh, Watson?" said Mr Sherlock Holmes who was fouling the aether with his horrible shag tobacco smoke!

"You will need an extra medical man now that Mike Morton's laid up, Commander so I volunteer my services and I have killed many times both in Europe and Afghanistan. When's luncheon?" replied Johnny Watson.

"Any more questions?" asked Garner.

"Who's my navvy, sir?" I asked quietly.

"I am, mum." said Nyssa the Trakken girl. A good choice since she knew the 'Bad Lands' like the back of her hand.

"You comin' along for the ride, Gramps?" asked Acey and earned a frown from the chief.

"No. I will, however, be available at 3WA HQ in the city at all times and I am not your grandfather, young lady." he replied.

"Yo! Anybody got their ears on up there, dammit? I been comming ya for an hour! Ya kin lift off whenever ya like and I can guarantee ya 65 Warp on demand. Can't promise more than five solar minutes at that speed, I'm afraid. We're firin' up the new warp core now. Anybody there?" blared out Suba Dynamo's roar over the squawkboxes, deafening me whose seat was directly below the speakers!

"That's my cue I think. best of luck and hurry back soon. (He pressed a panel on the remote he took from his pocket) Take care, kiddies. Bye." said Mr Garner as he slowly dematerialized. He'd rematerialize immediately aboard his own cruiser, the 'Hawthorne' named for his favourite ancient Terran author.

I stood up and assumed my new command. Janey and Jonny? Get ready for an immediate liftoff. Acey? On the quad guns. Gentlemen? Find a seat and strap in. Peri? You're with me. Here. Take notes on my PDO unit. 'Artok'? All hands aboard yet?" I asked.

"Negative. All assigned personnel are aboard the 'Daedalus' with the exception of WO2 Sawaguchi. She is still enroute from Elenore City. ETA is four solar hours, Romana." replied our ship's computer programming unit.

"Thanks. She's being shuttled to us. However, we cannot wait for her. Janey? As soon as you finish your pre-flight checks, lift off. Nyssa? Lay in a course for the last known co-ordinates of our quarry. Fiona (MacCrimmon) has that data for us. Let's get moving, people! We have a mission to accomplish and I want it done before Christmas Eve too! Peri, let's motor." I said and we returned to the bridge.

I sat down in my command chair and strapped in. Peri looked around at all the seats which were all occupied.

"OK. Whose lap am I sitting on?" she asked.

"You're scanning officer for now. In the nav room beside Nyssa. Hurry up!" I growled. Was I picking up bad habits?

"Yes, ma'am!" she replied, saluting me. I ignored it. I am picking up bad habits! She scurried next door and called out that she and Nyssa were all set to go.

"All checks completed. We are good to go for launch." said Angel Jonny.

"Confirmed, Cap. I mean, Commander." said Haney Huntley.

"Fire main thrusters. Start impulse engines. Lift off in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 and Zero. Lift off now. Take us up to 35 Warp amd put us on 'George'. You may all unstrap now." I said crisply and smoothly. Everyone seemed very impressed indeed!

Soon we were flitting along at 35 Warp and I relaxed a little. I was as worried as Hell. If I had to, could I really end all the lives of a fellow Gallifreyan? Time would tell.

END of Chapter 10. Chapter 11 'Back To the Bad Lands' or 'Gammerick's Cruel Plot' coming soon to a vidscreen near you! Hope everyone had a nice Fireworks Day back on good old Terra. Sorry for the long delay and we hope ya enjoyed this installment of the final leg of our saga. Toodles- Romana and Rodan.