Minerva awoke the next morning to a warm body pressed to her own and before she panicked she remembered the previous night. She shifted slightly to get comfortable and didn't dare open her eyes, afraid if she did he would disappear. A hand slowly made its way through her hair, and she smiled to herself. "Morning Severus," she moaned, burying her head in his soft robes.
Severus tightened his hold around her, making himself so close she could feel his hot breath against her skin. It made the hairs on her arms stand. "Hello Minerva," he whispered. "If anyone found us here, do you know how terrible it would look?"
She giggled. "It would look as if we had been quite intimate with each other, wouldn't it?"
A piece of black hair fell on her face, but was quickly brushed away by another hand. "I wish we had my dear," he groaned, kissing her neck sensually. "Because I'm longing to taste you." His lips began to work their way across the front of her neck and Minerva opened her eyes.
"Oh Gods Severus," she moaned, instinctively moving her hands to his chest. "Stop this, I can't hold out much longer."
Suddenly his hands began to wonder down to her thighs, and before he could part them she pushed him away. If he began anything she intended to finish, and she couldn't. She couldn't bed Severus in Hogwarts, in a boarding school full of children. "Severus, please," she exclaimed, pulling the blankets closely around her already covered body. "I told you I can't do this with students around us."
Her arms began to shake, and she silently cursed herself for being so weak to his temptations. "I'm sorry Minerva," he not so sincerely apologized. "I apologize for being so attracted to you."
She couldn't help but smile at his sarcasm and threw a pillow at his face. "Hold your tongue!"
"Scolding me as if I were a student eh," he asked playfully. "I thought we were above that?"
Minerva sighed and rolled her eyes. "If I were you Mr. Snape I would be sure that this old hag of a professor doesn't deduct points from Slytherin for that remark," she tossed, slowly getting out of her warm bed.
Severus got up as well and grabbed her hips as she began to her bathroom. His force was too strong for her, and soon she was being pressed against his hard body. "Professor McGonagall, have you forgotten that I am now an equal to you?"
She laughed, slapping his chest. "Let me go you-," Before she could finish his lips were pressed hungrily against her own and she succumbed to him.
When they broke their kiss, Severus asked, "What was that you were going to say?"
Minerva yanked her way out of his arms and finally made it into her bathroom. "I was going to say that we best be getting ready Mr. Snape."
"Ready for what?"
Pointing at the clock above her sink, she imitated his monotone voice and replied, "We're already two hours late to breakfast."
He sneered back. "I missed breakfast and still didn't get to touch you," he scuffed. "How disappointing."
His blunt comments made her feel guilty that they didn't share an intimate experience, and by the tone of his voice she wasn't sure if he had been joking or not. "Severus, I told you why I couldn't."
A smile slowly overtook his sneer, and Minerva relaxed. "I know and I understand." The Potions Master kissed her forehead and began towards her door when she called his name once more.
"Do you remember when I came to talk to you that night that you were sick," she asked seriously. He simply nodded; his face vague of emotion. She hated when he hid his emotions so deeply even she couldn't read him. "There is something I really do wish to discuss with you and I'm afraid I cannot bear to wait any longer. I promise not to be as angry."
Severus held his head up. "My rooms or yours?"
Minerva hesitated before answering, "Yours." With that he was gone.
Having managed to shower and make herself decent, Minerva left her quarters and began towards her office, thinking of the stack of papers she had to grade. On her way she watched as Filch, scowling as always, began to approach her. Minerva had never liked Filch, his attitude was terrible, his personality irritating, and his presence altogether made her hair stick up. She had barely ever talked to the man, for she avoided him as much as she could. "Hello Mr. Filch," she nodded, briskly brushing past him. Suddenly a knobby hand grabbed her arm, and she half screamed in surprise. "Get your hands off of me," she insisted, trying desperately to shake his dirty hand from her arm. The smell coming from his tie was so terrible she practically gaged.
Filch smiled a yellow smile and let go of her arm. "Now Professor McGonagall, I won't say a word to the Headmaster if you just tell me what went on between you and Professor Snape last night." He raised an eyebrow of his bulged eyes, and Minerva felt her heart race.
"Excuse me," she exclaimed, taken back by the fact Filch had noticed Severus entering or exiting her rooms. "I have no idea what you are insinuating Mr. Filch, but perhaps you should see Sybil. She may be able to tell you if you are going senile." She began away, but not without adding, "You've certainly been here long enough."
A low laugh came from behind her. "Professor, I wouldn't walk away too fast. I saw Professor Snape leaving your rooms this morning in the same robes he was wearing yesterday."
Minerva stopped in her tracks. "I told you I have no idea what in Circe's name you are talking about."
Before he could reply a familiar voice rung around the corridors. "I'M A PREFECT! I'M A PREFECT!" Floating above Filch the little man dressed in loud clothes smiled, a shining badge in his hands. "I'M IN CHARGE!"
Filch immediately switched his entire demure and raised his broom at the floating poltergeist. "You are NOT in charge," he shouted. "Where did you get that?" Peeves fled from the scene, and Filch dashed after him much to Minerva's relief.
Arriving in the safety of her office Minerva took in the silence, happy to be alone. The parchments were piled high on her desk, and she knew that concentrating was going to be hard considering the night she'd just had. Nevertheless she settled in her familiar chair and pulled out her pen. The first sets of essays were written by her seventh years and quite impressive. One of the things she didn't like about teaching younger students was their quality of work was never nearly what she looked for. In time however those young children would grow into seventh years and be writing just as well as her current students.
Still her mind wandered to thoughts of the night before. Minerva had been involved in very few relationships in her lifetime. There had been a boyfriend or two while she was in school and of course Dougal McGregor, the first boy she'd fallen head over heels with. He'd been very nice, but years after she'd left him Minerva would come to realize that she'd hadn't actually loved him. It had been merely infatuation. Since then she'd taken to teaching and rarely thought of romance or found herself attracted to anyone. Her students were like her children, and they had filled any emptiness in her heart from lack of romance. But, Severus was different. Severus had been in her life for over ten years. She'd watched him grow, fall into the wrong group, and reclaim himself back into a good man. He'd never been bad of course, she knew him better, but there was a point in his life where she worried that becoming a Death Eater would spoil him. After he had started teaching she'd began to see him differently. Minerva didn't think of him as a student anymore, or of someone of less importance than herself, he was an equal.
The night she found him, alone, scared, and overcome with emotion Minerva had fallen for Severus Snape, the Severus Snape which few had been able to know. Of course she hadn't been able to admit it to herself right away. For days, weeks even, she'd told herself it was only pity she felt for him and that in time it would pass. But it didn't. Images of him haunted her, and she wanted to know him better. The feeling she'd felt was more than pity.
Since they'd began to see each other, although it wasn't for very long, Minerva had been contemplating secretly over her emotions. When Severus was around, she seemed to lose all sense of herself and was able to let go. Nobody would suspect Minerva McGonagall would dance to an upbeat Muggle song on top of the astronomy tower for heaven's sakes! Only Severus had made her feel utterly young despite the huge age gap between them. After all he'd done for her she had discovered she wasn't feeling infatuation or pity, but love. And she told him. Telling him that she indeed loved him had made an odd sense of relief wash over her.
Minerva felt her quill slowly slide from her hands, and realizing she was still grading papers Minerva began to read once more. Transfiguration is important because… She sighed. Just about every third year paper was beginning with the same sentence, so she underlined the sentence and noted the student to use more creative wording the next time.
Another thing that pried on her distracted mind was the physical attraction that she had had that night. Minerva had been in an intimate relationship with McGregor, but other than that her experiences were limited. The first time they had kissed, the night Lily died, was the first time sex had been on her mind for a long time. Being a teacher she thought little on the subject. However the way he had made her feel just by the way their bodies had been pressed against one another had brought on a sudden physical attraction. The night before she had lost all dignity, just wanting his body more than anything. Even with Dougal she hadn't hungered for a man the way she had Severus.
More than being in a school full of children, personal affairs had caused Minerva to push away from his temptations and her want. Minerva was in fact thinking of the students and the possibility that one of her cubs could have knocked on her door, having been scared by a nightmare. It hadn't happened many times in all her years teaching, but once in a while she did get a late night visit if someone was sick or frightened. It was after all her duty to be there like a mother to them. Besides that however Minerva was half afraid to begin anything physical with Severus. She had just admitted that she loved him and moving such a large step made her feel rushed. And Minerva McGonagall was not a woman to rush into things. Pushing their relationship into such a serious phase could sometimes cause problems. Problems between herself and Severus were the last things she wanted.
The biggest reason Minerva had pushed Severus away had been because of her lack of self confidence in her body. She was a great deal older than Severus, this was quite obvious and there was no use denying it. He had most likely only seen young, beautifully shaped women which she didn't feel as if she was. Her skin wasn't quite as tight, her body not as smooth, and her face not as fresh. A war, years of teaching, and years of being alone had worn away those features. On the outside Minerva carried herself with dignity and pride, but in truth when it came to her body she was quite shy. The Transfigurations Mistress couldn't understand what a young man could possibly want with her, at least not in a physical sense.
Once more she looked down at her papers and tried to concentrate. All that she kept feeling was Severus' hot breath on her skin and his body reacting hard against her. She shuddered and drew her conservative robes closer to her body, trying to erase the memories so she could devote herself professionally to her work. But still the feelings kept coming, and in her head his hands wondered on her skin, his lips capturing hers again…
"Are you alright Minerva," a voice piped from her doorway.
Having been distracted by her thoughts Minerva gasped and nearly spilled her ink. Gathering herself she straightened herself when she saw Poppy standing in the doorway. "Oh hello Poppy," she nodded, embarrassed at her reaction.
"Minerva what's going on," she half chuckled. "You're acting like I'm a Death Eater."
Minerva stood, nearly knocking over her papers, and attempted to dispose thoughts of Severus from her head. "I'm fine Poppy, just fine." However she contradicted her statement when she accidently knocked over the parchments, and they spilled all over the floor. She felt her face flush, and for some reason she just wanted to cry. Never had she been so embarrassed in front of her friend before.
"Min?"
With shaking hands Minerva picked up the papers and did her best to casually place them orderly on her desktop. "Yes Poppy, can I do something for you? I'm quite busy."
Her friend widened her eyes, and Minerva knew she must be suspicious that something was severely distracting to her. "I thought you might like to come with me to the Three Broomsticks …but if you're busy. I didn't see you at breakfast this morning." Before Minerva could reply Poppy added, "In fact…I didn't see Severus either." She smiled slightly.
Minerva steadied her shaking hands and sat back down. "If you give me a few minutes to get my things together I would love to come with you. I could use something to clear my head," she mumbled, more to herself than aloud.
In the matter of seconds Poppy was at her side and took one of her hands. "You're shaking Minerva, you sure you're alright?"
Nodding the Deputy yanked away. "Just fine." Minerva pushed her way past Poppy. "Let me go get my coat from my room, and I'll meet you here in a few minutes." Hoping to stop herself from thinking about Severus Minerva hurried to her room, picked up her coat, and began towards the Three Broomsticks with Poppy.
Minerva had ordered her usual Gillywater, and Poppy had gotten a Butterbeer. Neither talked for some time, both attempting to warm up. Finally Poppy spoke. "Minerva, how are you and Severus?"
Swallowing the liquid Minerva took her time to swallow, wanting to avoid the subject. "We're fine."
"You haven't said two words to me except 'I'm fine' and 'We're fine', Minerva what's going on?"
The Transfigurations Mistress looked up to her friend. "Nothing it going on…it's just something personal."
"In all the years I've known you, you've always told me something that was 'personal'." Poppy narrowed her eyes, and Minerva wondered if she looked so pushy when she was angry as well. After all, so many students had said she and her friend were a lot alike.
"It's my body," Minerva hissed.
Poppy looked at her as if Minerva had just grown a third head. "What?"
"I don't feel comfortable around someone so much younger. I mean I feel comfortable…but I'm afraid that if he sees what I look like, he'll be disappointed."
Her friend smiled comfortingly. "Minerva, are you serious?"
"Yes of course I'm bloody serious!"
"Severus loves you. He doesn't care if you're not twenty anymore. And for Merlin's sake, you're a very attractive woman Minerva."
Minerva took a long sip of her drink and shook her aching head. "You don't understand…"
"Of course I don't understand…you haven't told me what has had you shaking all afternoon. I know you better to know that just feeling a little self-conscious could make you so upset."
Smirking Minerva replied, "I'm not upset Poppy."
"And that's why you can't hold your cup without it rattling?"
The witch slammed her Gillywater down, wondering why she had agreed to accompany Poppy, let alone say anything. "I have to go." She stood from the table, wanting nothing more than to be alone and rid herself of thoughts of how badly she wanted Severus. "I'll see you later." With that she left the pub.
On her way back to Hogwarts Minerva walked with her head down, not bothering to look up. With her luck she ran right into a warm body, and looking up she met Severus' eyes. A feeling of relief and want ran over her entire body. Without a thought she pressed her lips hard against his.
Severus responded to her just how she wanted, with desire and intensity. There was no gentle touching of lips, no soft caresses, just the animal need he seemed to be having for her as well. Minerva moaned against him, pulling herself tighter to his chest. Once more, even through heavy cloak against heavy cloak, she could feel his hardness against her, and this only made her desires more livid.
Eventually they parted, both gasping for air. His lips were swollen, and by the feeling of her mouth she knew hers must have been as well. She was still suggestively close to him, but neither made an attempt to move. "I want you Minerva…you're driving me insane."
She groaned. "I know you do…I can feel you and I want you just as well."
His hands, the deftness well known to her from years of watching him make potions, ran across her back and if it was possible, pulled her even harder against him. "Do you feel that?"
"I do." Minerva let out a wave of breath. "Do you know how long it has been since I've thought of sex?" His response was a grunt into her hair, which was partially coming out of its tight up do. "Too long."
"I think that we had better part because I see two students coming towards us and this is entirely unprofessional." Wincing as she pulled from him, Minerva smoothed her robes, staring up into his deep brown eyes.
"Severus…" her voice trailed off as she struggled to restrain from kissing him again. She was entirely out of her comfort zone.
Luckily the chattering of two seventh years broke their gaze, but as they walked by they seemed to be trying not to giggle. Minerva felt her face flush, afraid they had seen something. "Do you think," he asked.
"I hope not," she replied deadpanned. "Well, may I still come to see you tonight?" He nodded, but still didn't move. "I should be going Severus. I have some papers to grade."
As she began to walk away he caught her wrist. "I know that you're angry with me Minerva. But whatever Albus said, please don't let it change anything. You were awfully angry the other night."
She nodded. "I was also angry that you locked me out of your room."
"I needed to be alone," he replied bitterly, his sudden change of tone taking her back.
Minerva tried not to let it bother her and rubbed his arm. "I understand Severus." Without another word Minerva hurried back towards the castle.
Minerva knocked gently on Severus's rooms and awaited him to answer. She had managed to compose her emotions from earlier, and she hoped that upon seeing him they wouldn't return. The topic she wished to discuss was quite serious, and passionate desires would only make things harder. Her robes were drawn tightly around her, keeping her warm from the bitter cold of the dungeons. It hadn't occurred to her until then that it was unbearably cold downstairs. Minerva shivered and knocked once more.
The door finally opened, and the dark Potions Master revealed himself to her. "Min," he nodded.
She took his hand, hoping hers wouldn't tremble at the feel of him. "Severus, I'm so sorry about this afternoon, I…"
He smirked. "Sorry?" Gently he squeezed her hand and led her into his rooms, shutting the door behind him. Before she had time to move, he'd pinned her against the door. "I'm glad you want me just as I want you."
Minerva felt her legs go weak. Without his hold she probably wouldn't have remained standing. "Oh Severus," she whispered. "Just kiss me."
With that said the Potions Master pressed his lips against her own. The kiss was short, but sound, and when he pulled back Minerva reached out and captured his lips again.
Minerva was battling passion that she hadn't felt in a long time. In fact, she wasn't sure she'd ever felt such a physical need for someone. She felt like a teenager, crazy and in love. But, she wasn't a young girl. She was a woman. She was a woman who needed physical love as much as emotional, and she hadn't had physical love in a good amount of time. Severus was a very attractive man, and a very loving man at that. Naturally she hadn't been able to resist.
When the broke their latest kiss, she closed her eyes, releasing her hold on his robes. "Severus…I didn't come here to be pressed against a wall and teased."
A warm hand stroked her cheek, and then hot lips kissed there. "I know, but I can't resist you."
She groaned as his lips made their way to her neck, and gently began to nip. "Please," she squeaked.
Severus took a hold of her hips and pressed them to his own. "Let me love you Minerva," he groaned, burying his head further into her neck.
With a sigh Minerva pried his wondering hands from her, wanting him so bad she could barely stand. The Deputy Headmistress just wished she could allow him to take her right there, make love to her and never let go. "Severus…I have to talk to you."
The wizard backed away, wringing his hands as he turned away. "I've never wanted a woman the way I've wanted you," he admitted quietly.
She rubbed his arm gently. "I know what you mean. But, we've only just started seeing each other and…" she felt her voice trail off, not able to defend herself the way she had hoped. "And there are some things I must know before we become so serious."
Severus nodded. "I understand. I'm sorry that I-,"
She smiled. "It's quite alright." Together they both took a seat in an armchair, and he poured them a cup of tea. Minerva was the first to break the silence. "Severus, I was talking to Albus, and I'm afraid somehow we wondered to the subject of the argument we feigned." He raised his eyebrows over his teacup, but said nothing. "And Albus told me some things about you." At this the previously calmed Potions Master slammed his cup onto the table, the fragile china breaking.
"What the hell did he tell you," he asked angrily.
Minerva felt her heart skip a beat at his sudden anger. "Severus why are you suddenly-,"
He leaned in his chair and grabbed the collar of her robes, shaking her slightly when he cut her off. "What, did, he, tell, you," he hissed.
The witch shoved his tight grip away, controlling herself from yelling. "Calm down Severus," she replied sternly. "There is no need to get so worked up." She watched closely as he pulled his arms back and looked down at his hands, balling them into fists and closing his eyes.
"Albus doesn't understand," he whispered. "Whatever he told you, it's not true."
Minerva paused, but then continued. "When I went into Albus's office he asked me if anything was wrong, so I told him that I was still feeling upset over our argument. And I told him that I thought I still may have feelings for you even though you've been ignoring me and obviously didn't care for me." The man across from her opened his eyes, and they were wide with concern. "So then I asked him why you blamed him for the Lily's death and-,"
"Why?"
"You told me that he had promised you, and I wanted to make sure he would tell the truth. You'd never expanded on it…"
Severus gritted his teeth. "And what did that bastard say?"
Minerva winced, wishing she had never brought up the topic. She hadn't expected Severus to grow so angry. "Well, he said there was more between the two of you then I knew."
Suddenly Severus stood and turned to face away from her, his hands gripping to the unlit fireplace. "Oh Minerva." He said nothing more.
"Albus said you are a double agent for us. You still serve He Who Must Not Be Named, but only to gather valuable information and report back to Albus. I assume you are actually still a Death Eater. And he said that he had agreed to protect Lily if you did this. But Lily…" She didn't want to bring up the deceased woman.
"Why didn't you tell me Severus?"
Silence fell over them until he slowly turned to face her. "Are you angry with me?"
"I'm not angry…anymore. But I don't understand, why didn't you tell me?"
He sighed, bringing his hand to his face. "I didn't want to worry you yet. It's dangerous working with those men Minerva, and I didn't think you should have to be bothered with that as well."
"You were trying to protect me," she snorted. "I don't need protection Severus Snape. I'm perfectly capable of handling myself, thank you very much."
"That's not what I meant," he argued.
"Then pray tell me what you meant," she snapped, having little tolerance for being treated as an invalid.
"I didn't want our relationship to be damaged by it." His eyes for once read pure sincerity, and she couldn't help but feel a rush of love run through her veins from the way he looked at her. "I love you so much, and I was afraid that if you knew things would change. I can't lose anyone else."
The witch nodded, understanding his thinking. She patted the arm of her chair. "Sit Severus. That's enough on the topic for the night. Let me tell you what he said about Miss-, Grace." Severus made his way to where she was. Minerva stood from the chair, motioned for him to sit, and then sat on his lap. He smiled at the gesture, and she nestled into the strong embrace he surrounded her with.
His head rested on top of hers as he held so tight to her, Minerva didn't think she would ever be able to move. "Finally, you're letting me hold you."
Laughing she punched his stomach lightly. "About Grace. Albus told me that we would-,"
"We? You told him I was in on this," he asked, pulling back to look at her.
Minerva kissed his forehead and shook her head. "I meant me. He said that in order for her to stay over the summer, she would have to be legally adopted by a staff member. In order to adopt her, her parents would have to sign a document in order to do so. And said staff member would have to own a home away from the school. You're the only one who does, so Albus reluctantly said you are the only professor who can adopt her. He's convinced you'd never agree to it." She smiled and pushed a piece of hair from his face. "But I told him that I'd find a way to get her parents and you to agree."
Severus hugged her tighter, if that was possible. "Oh thank Merlin," he sighed. "She might have a chance."
"She will," Minerva said. "I'll make sure she will, and so will you."
He began chuckling, and Minerva raised an eyebrow, wondering what he found so funny. "I can't believe the greasy Potions Master is looking into adopting a child."
Minerva giggled as well. "Hush Severus!"
"Imagine me with a child."
She stopped laughing, remembering the way he had held Grace in his office. "I saw the way you care for her Severus."
"I know. I really do care about her. A bloody little vermin has actually made me soft."
She slapped him playfully. "I know you don't see her as a vermin."
He nuzzled his head against her neck. "You're right, that's the rest of the student body."
As he kissed her neck Minerva gasped. "Stop it!"
He bit gently, causing her to lean further against him. "Stop this?"
Minerva shoved him off. "I could tell Albus you said no to adopting Grace if you don't stop teasing me."
Severus widened his eyes. "That would be very Slytherin of you."
She ran her fingers across his lips, lowering her voice. "I've been with a Slytherin long enough, haven't I?" Minerva leaned in, wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. Severus tightened his hold on her and leaned all the way back in his chair.
Their lips parted for a moment and he hissed, "Oh and this isn't teasing me?"
"Not when an old woman does it," she whispered, pressing her lips back to seal his before he could reply.