Chapter 11

Recap:

"Let me make you okay." Sam decided, as he kissed me. All I could think was 'maybe it would be nice somewhere other than a toilet' or 'really? This is sooo uncomfortable!'

1 week later

Bella's pov

"Bella babe?" Sam called as he walked through the door.

"What happened to B?" I asked smiling at him.

"I brought brownies!" He rolled his eyes.

"BROWNIES!" I squealed running into his open arms. Things were going well with 'us' as he likes to put it, I still miss Jacob, heck! I still love him, more than Sam even! But mom once said 'you've got to learn to love what's good for you.' This past week has proven that Sam is good for me; the only problem is when he leaves. I spend my nights clutching my chest and screaming, the physical pain from being away from Jake and being with someone else was too much to bear until I looked into Sam's eyes the next day.

I often wondered if Jake felt it to, to pain of separation I mean. I knew he would never love me the way Sam loves me. Sam told me the other day that Jake was constantly telling them about all his new girlfriends, and slagging me off to them. When he told me that, I burst into tears. But Sam kissed me better...

Sometimes the imprint still tugs on me whenever I'm close to Sam, but I'm getting used to it. I've gotten used to feeling empty, void and pointless. Though I never let Sam know, it would just make him upset. I had asked Sam why I was so strong when James attacked me, he said that because I was in danger I adopted Jakes strength and healing powers ect. Through the imprint bond.

A lot of the time me and Sam watch movies and cuddle. No-one knows about 'us' yet, and I'm in no rush to tell them.

As it turns out, the pack caught a glimpse of Sam's feeling for me and told him it was out of line and that Leah would challenge him for Alpha if he acted on his feelings. I was so lucky to have him! When I'm with him I feel alive again. I don't think I could survive it if he left me, no. I shook the bad thought away, Sam wasn't like Jake. I remembered the message that Sam had given me from Jacob.

"Hey Bella,

Too bad you didn't make the cut; you could have been a keeper! A little birdie told me you've not even left your apartment since I left. You really are pathetic! Boy am I glad to be rid of you! So enjoy the rest of your miserable life vampy.

Jacob-

P.S. Good luck getting over me; you're going to need it."

Yet again I wondered what I had done that was so amazing to earn Sam. He helped me get over the rough patches. But the letter really didn't sound like something Jake would say... Sam said he's changed a lot, so I thought nothing more of it.

Another thing I love about Sam, he's so trust worthy, and kind and gentle! I love him sooo much!

"I love you B-B!" Cooed Sam, Awwww! He said he loves me!

"I love you too!" He pulled me close with one hand one the small of my back and one around my waist. He brought his lips to mine in one fluent movement, pulling me ever closer. His tongue traced my lips seeking entrance, which of corse I granted. He lifted me onto the kitchen counter standing between my legs; our tongues roamed each other's mouth, battling for dominance. Was it so wrong that I like him dominating me? My hands had his shirt up and off in one brief movement. This was new; we had never gone that far!

I let my hand trace the lines of his abs; he let out a moan at the contact. I was just enjoying the sensation of his skin under my hands.

We broke apart gasping for air but breathing hard. His lips trailed down my neck and shoulders until he reached my chest. He placed one huge hand over my racing heart.

"Your heart is beating so fast!" He remarked. I gasped as he moved his hand from my heart to my breast.

"You trust me" he stated.

"In theory!" I was breathing hard, but not just from his touch. The imprint was suffocating me! It hurt like a sucka! It felt as if Jake was in pain, but why would that be if he was sleeping around? I clutched my heart. Sam stood back immediately; he knew it was hard for me to fight the imprint. I felt guilty, because when I kissed him, I was thinking about Jake. What it would be like if HE was kissing me, if HE loved me. I often felt insecure about Emily, but Sam told me she moved back to the Makah rez with her family so he doesn't even see her any more. I instantly felt better, but my mind was screaming 'you've not been outside; you don't know that she's really gone!' But I figured it was just me being childish.

"Sorry B, I'm usually more self controlled, but I just love you so much!" Aw how sweet! I would of thanked him if I weren't curled in a ball o the floor trying to breathe.

"Uh, B? You've kinda gone purple." He worried. I thought back to that time I kissed Jake and it immediately let up. Strange.

"I'm sorry Sam; I wish I could be okay for you." I apologised. Was it weird that he never pushed for sex? Maybe he was being considerate because of the imprint...

"Really? Was that kissing so good that you couldn't breathe?" He smirked.

"Damn straight!" I chuckled, getting up.

We sat down and watched a movie, just like we always do.